Abigail Shrier’s ‘Irreversible Damage’

 

Others have already commented on this book on Ricochet. In particular, Susan Quinn wrote this very nice post that drew heavily from it. I commented on a Bari Weiss interview with Abigail Shrier here. I’m sure other members have mentioned it, and several Ricochet podcasters have interviewed Ms. Shrier.

I spent a couple of the past few days in planes and airports and had an opportunity to finish a book and read two others, one of which was Ms. Shrier’s “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters.”

As a parent, a father of a daughter, a conservative, and simply a generally decent human being, I recommend this book enthusiastically and without reservation. I think it is essential reading for every parent of a teenage or preteen girl. There are a lot of good books and a lot of important issues, but rarely does a book shine so much light on a real tragedy unfolding in our own communities and afflicting our most vulnerable with serious and permanent damage.

I know two families struggling with exactly the challenges Ms. Shrier describes, and two others that have been deeply scarred by their daughters’ experiences.

This is the most important book I’ve read in a very long time. Strongly recommended.

Published in Culture
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  1. Henry Racette Member
    Henry Racette
    @HenryRacette

    Lilly B (View Comment):
    My hope is that many girls are choosing to identify as non-binary rather than as transgender boys so that they don’t actually have to do anything.

    It would be nice if that were enough to prevent some awful self-mutilation, but, according to the author, it isn’t. Even the girls who aren’t trying to become boys feel compelled — and are encouraged by the social network — to eradicate their femininity. It seems to be as much about defeminizing as it is about masculinizing. These poor creatures are pressured to make permanent and sometimes horrible changes to their bodies in order to demonstrate their commitment to a trans identity.

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):
    There seems to be pretty broad agreement that the teenage-trans-thing is very bad, but differences of opinion in the diagnosis of the cause.

    Yes, I’m sure we’re all speculating, to some degree, about the cause.

    I don’t believe that it has to do with same-sex attraction. I think it has far more to do with feminism’s relentless effort to undefine women. Denigrating traditionally female-dominated roles, celebrating the nullification of motherhood (i.e., through abortion) as a virtual sacrament, encouraging women to adopt the sexual mores of men: all of these imposed a different kind of second-class status on womanhood. This has left girls with a great deal of insecurity, without a sense that they possess a worthwhile intrinsic identity of their own.

    The same is happening to young men, to some extent. But young women are susceptible to social contagions to a degree vastly greater than are young men, and so it’s doing more immediate damage to them.


    Regarding female identity, Ms. Shrier says this, which I greatly appreciated, toward the close of her book:

    Young women have more educational and career options today than they ever have. Remember to tell your daughter that. Tell her also that a woman’s most unique capacity — childbirth — is perhaps life’s greatest blessing.

    But whatever else you teach your daughter, remember to include something more. Tell her because the culture so often denies it. Tell her because people will try to make a victim of her. Tell her because it’s natural to doubt. Most of all, tell her because it’s true.

    She’s lucky. She’s special. She was born a girl. And being a woman is a gift, containing far too many joys to pass up.

    • #31
  2. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Lilly B (View Comment):
    My hope is that many girls are choosing to identify as non-binary rather than as transgender boys so that they don’t actually have to do anything.

    It would be nice if that were enough to prevent some awful self-mutilation, but, according to the author, it isn’t. Even the girls who aren’t trying to become boys feel compelled — and are encouraged by the social network — to eradicate their femininity. It seems to be as much about defeminizing as it is about masculinizing. These poor creatures are pressured to make permanent and sometimes horrible changes to their bodies in order to demonstrate their commitment to a trans identity.

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):
    There seems to be pretty broad agreement that the teenage-trans-thing is very bad, but differences of opinion in the diagnosis of the cause.

    Yes, I’m sure we’re all speculating, to some degree, about the cause.

    I don’t believe that it has to do with same-sex attraction. I think it has far more to do with feminism’s relentless effort to undefine women. Denigrating traditionally female-dominated roles, celebrating the nullification of motherhood (i.e., through abortion) as a virtual sacrament, encouraging women to adopt the sexual mores of men: all of these imposed a different kind of second-class status on womanhood. This has left girls with a great deal of insecurity, without a sense that they possess a worthwhile intrinsic identity of their own.

    The same is happening to young men, to some extent. But young women are susceptible to social contagions to a degree vastly greater than are young men, and so it’s doing more immediate damage to them.


    Regarding female identity, Ms. Shrier says this, which I greatly appreciated, toward the close of her book:

    Young women have more educational and career options today than they ever have. Remember to tell your daughter that. Tell her also that a woman’s most unique capacity — childbirth — is perhaps life’s greatest blessing.

    But whatever else you teach your daughter, remember to include something more. Tell her because the culture so often denies it. Tell her because people will try to make a victim of her. Tell her because it’s natural to doubt. Most of all, tell her because it’s true.

    She’s lucky. She’s special. She was born a girl. And being a woman is a gift, containing far too many joys to pass up.

    That could lead to another slippery slope if girls/women start thinking they’re TOO special, and that boys/men are just dumb racist sperm donors who like to start wars.

    • #32
  3. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    kedavis (View Comment):
    dumb racist sperm donors who like to start wars.

    I read that as Star Wars. 

    • #33
  4. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Regarding female identity, Ms. Shrier says this, which I greatly appreciated, toward the close of her book:

    Young women have more educational and career options today than they ever have. Remember to tell your daughter that. Tell her also that a woman’s most unique capacity — childbirth — is perhaps life’s greatest blessing.

    But whatever else you teach your daughter, remember to include something more. Tell her because the culture so often denies it. Tell her because people will try to make a victim of her. Tell her because it’s natural to doubt. Most of all, tell her because it’s true.

    She’s lucky. She’s special. She was born a girl. And being a woman is a gift, containing far too many joys to pass up.

    That could lead to another slippery slope if girls/women start thinking they’re TOO special, and that boys/men are just dumb racist sperm donors who like to start wars.

    While drama queenery is not limited to girls, I suspect that there is a special appeal in the prospect of becoming a cause celeb in the gender wars; you get detractors and fanatic supporters. People listen to you when you talk on your subject. And what happens if you change your mind? Free-fall, probably. 

    • #34
  5. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    TBA (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Regarding female identity, Ms. Shrier says this, which I greatly appreciated, toward the close of her book:

    Young women have more educational and career options today than they ever have. Remember to tell your daughter that. Tell her also that a woman’s most unique capacity — childbirth — is perhaps life’s greatest blessing.

    But whatever else you teach your daughter, remember to include something more. Tell her because the culture so often denies it. Tell her because people will try to make a victim of her. Tell her because it’s natural to doubt. Most of all, tell her because it’s true.

    She’s lucky. She’s special. She was born a girl. And being a woman is a gift, containing far too many joys to pass up.

    That could lead to another slippery slope if girls/women start thinking they’re TOO special, and that boys/men are just dumb racist sperm donors who like to start wars.

    While drama queenery is not limited to girls, I suspect that there is a special appeal in the prospect of becoming a cause celeb in the gender wars; you get detractors and fanatic supporters. People listen to you when you talk on your subject. And what happens if you change your mind? Free-fall, probably.

    Cause celebre, actually, but yes.  And I suppose one advantage is that anyone can do it, without needing looks or acting or singing ability or anything else.

    • #35
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