Ricochet Movie Fight Club: Question 18

 

Last week Brian Watt came out of his corner raging for a Page One knockout. Philo’s Page Three uppercut sent him reeling and Brian ended up clinging to the ropes, eying the clock but still upright when the final bell sounded. His jaw may be a little sore today, but not too sore to ask: What is the worst movie (not a made-for-TV movie) ever made?

From Brian:

It should be a movie shown in a movie theater produced or distributed by a major studio (MGM, Universal, United Artists, 20th Century Fox, Columbia, RKO, Warner Brothers, Disney, etc.); a movie that others may have raved about which prompted you to see it; that was so bad, you may have walked out or griped about it and felt cheated for wasting your money on it; so bad that you may have even heckled it or made catcalls at the screen in the theater while watching it; and so bad that you may actually think less of others’ taste in movies – whether critics, celebrities, or friends — who actually hold this awful film in high regard.

Of course, the more comprehensive your answer on why the movie is so awful, the more persuasive your answer will be.

The Rules:

  • Post your answer as a comment. Make it clear that this is your official answer, one per member.
  • Defend your answer in the comments and fight it out with other Ricochet member answers for the rest of the week.
  • Whoever gets the most likes on their official answer comment (and only that comment) by Friday night wins the fight.
  • The winner gets the honor of posting the next question on Saturday.
  • In the case of a tie, the member who posted the question will decide the winner.

Notes:

  • Only movies will qualify (no TV shows) however films that air on television (BBC films, a stand-alone mini-series) will qualify.
  • Your answer can be as off-the-wall or controversial as you’d like. It will be up to you to defend it and win people to your side.
  • Fight it out.

Special thanks to Arahant for compiling a list of previous questions.

Movie Fight Club Questions by Week:

  1. What is the best film portrayal of a book character? Winner: Charlotte with 18 likes for Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Professor Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies.
  2. What is the best motion picture comedy of the 21st century? Winner: split decision. In an exemplary display of genuine sportsmanship, Randy Webster conceded the fight to Marjorie Reynolds’ pick Team America: World Police.
  3. What film provides the most evocative use of location? Winner: Taras with 21 likes for Lawrence of Arabia. Wasn’t even close.
  4. What is the best film that utilizes or is inspired by a work of William Shakespeare? Winner: Dr. Bastiat with five likes for The Lion King, a film inspired by Hamlet
  5. Which movie has the best surprise ending, or unexpected plot twist? Winner: Repmodad with 18 likes for The Sixth Sense
  6. What pre-1970s black-and-white movie would be most enjoyed by a modern 18-to 25-year-old audience? Winner: E J Hill with 9 likes for a Casablanca. (He didn’t exactly designate it his official answer, and most of the likes may have been for the modern Casablanca trailer rather than for it as an answer to the question, but nobody seemed to dispute it on those grounds, so that’s how the cookie crumbles.)
  7. What movie did you go to based on the trailer, only to have felt cheated? (i.e., the trailer was 10x better than the movie?) Winner: Back to back wins by E J Hill with 9 likes for Something to Talk About.
  8. Name the worst movie portrayal of your profession (where applicable.) Winner: LC with 8 likes for Denise Richards’ Dr. Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough.
  9. What is the worst movie that claims to be based or inspired by a true story? Winner: Tex929rr with 16 likes for the, “…terrible acting, and countless deviations from history,” in Pearl Harbor.
  10. What is your favorite little known movie? Winner: A last-minute rally for Tremors made the difference as Songwriter took the week 10 win! 
  11. What is the best movie that you never want to watch again? Winner: Hitler Charlotte with 15 likes for Schindler’s List. Sorry, Richard Oshea but Jesus won the real fight. 

    Week 11.5 Exhibition Match (as a make-up of sorts, since Songwriter didn’t get the week 11 question submitted in time)
    Name the best movie theme song ever? No winner declared but I’m pretty sure it was I.M. Fine with “Moon River.”
  12. Name the best animated feature-length movie of all time. Winner: I.M. Fine with 10 likes for Pinocchio, and justice for I.M. Fine prevailed.
  13. What is the worst acting performance in an otherwise good film? Winner: In one of the most brutal fights we’ve seen yet Repmodad fended off a furious 12th-round onslaught by Gary McVey to give Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves the win with 20 likes.
  14. What is the quintessential American movie? Winner: Miffed White Male pulled off the comeback with 20 likes for The Right Stuff.  There was a two-way tie at 19 for second place as well. 
  15. What’s the most entertaining movie set during WWII? Winner: Arahant clearly won with Casablanca’s walloping 30 likes despite the withering onslaught by Sisyphus on the final day.
  16. What is the best movie love story? Winner: Songwriter with 20 likes for The Princess Bride with 20 likes. Up managed to make a strong showing and Dr. Bastiat is still conducting recounts trying to “find” some uncounted votes. 
  17. What’s the best’ buddy’ movie? Winner: Brian Watt wins with 12 likes for The Man Who Would be King.

 

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  1. Jason Rudert Inactive
    Jason Rudert
    @JasonRudert

    Skyler (View Comment):

    OccupantCDN (View Comment):

    The worst movie ever? I nominate “Howard the Duck”. The worst movie that LucasFilm ever made. Yes its even worse than the Star Wars Prequels.

    Sorry I missed this entry. I hadn’t read all the way through.

     

     

    You can still think of another one! Quick! Do it!

    • #211
  2. Vince Guerra Inactive
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    OccupantCDN (View Comment):

    The worst movie ever? I nominate “Howard the Duck”. The worst movie that LucasFilm ever made. Yes its even worse than the Star Wars Prequels.

    It would be historic for a page 7 entry to win the fight but if any movie could pull off the case for being worse that The Hobbit it would be Howard the Duck. 

    Nice pick. 

    In case anyone forgot how awful it is: 

     

    • #212
  3. Some Call Me ...Tim Coolidge
    Some Call Me ...Tim
    @SomeCallMeTim

    Tommy.  The original rock opera by The Who had some pretty good music.  The movie was filled with celebrities who did not do as well with the music. The visuals seemed to come out of a psychedelic, bad LSD trip. I took my girlfriend to see it and almost walked out, which is pretty bad as I love movies and have never walked out of one. 

    Tommy – Final Answer. 

    Tim

    • #213
  4. Marjorie Reynolds Coolidge
    Marjorie Reynolds
    @MarjorieReynolds

    I was going to to nominate Ladybird, a film about a self absorbed teenage girl who stamps her foot until she’s allowed go to a college her unemployed father can’t afford. Bonus points for pro abortion propaganda, I think this was supposed to be funny.

    But I’m nominating Love Actually for undermining the Christmas movie genre. It’s a poor film for many reasons, including having too many characters, awkward attempts to establish links between them, silly plots for everybody.

    But what makes it an actually disgusting film is the highly inappropriate and improbable conversation between Liam Neeson’s  character and his stepchild about him diddling the child’s dead mother in every room in the house. There’s also the ‘hilarious’ simulated scenes between the film extras which are just pointlessly gross. Still, nothing tops the exploitation of a child for a cheap tawdry chuckle.

    • #214
  5. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    “Howard the Duck” Pitch meeting: (spoiler warning!)

     

    • #215
  6. CarolJoy, Above Top Secret Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Above Top Secret
    @CarolJoy

    JosePluma (View Comment):

    LC (View Comment):

    Reading through the comments, some people here have a really different take on terrible movies than I do. When I think of godawful bad movies, I think of Battlefield Earth, The Room, Gigli, Zaat, and various Adam Sandler movies. But Zoolander, Taxi Driver, The Exorcist, Spaceballs? Man, this is a tough crowd. Either that or you guys don’t sit around and watch really really bad movies and do your own version of MST3K like I do.

    The trouble is, this is way too broad a question, and impossible to answer. There are way too many bad movies out there, each bad in it’s own way. And frankly, for every one mentioned here, I can name a worse film:

    Is How Stella Got Her Groove Back any worse than Eat Pray Love?

    Is The Exorcist II really better than the original?

    SNIP

    Brooks’ remake To Be Or Not To Be is in every way worse than Spaceballs. SNIP And neither of them are as bad as any of the solid waste in the Scary Movie franchise.

    Who’s That Girl and Shanghai Surprise are both worse than Gigli, and they are not even close to being the worst Madonna films.

    Yes, From Justin to Kelly is dreck. It’s not worse than Crossroads, Xanadu, Grease II, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Beach Blanket Bingo, or, the magnum opus, Breakin’ 2, Electric Boogaloo.

    The Room is awful, but nowhere near matches the (low) quality of any of the films in the Neil Breen oeuvre.

    So, here’s my official answer: They’re all bad, but there’s a movie that’s worse.

    I was enthused about “Eat Pray Love,” as it featured in the book a somewhat middle aged woman.

    But then the movie starred Julia Roberts, who still looked to be about  25.

    So I submit that as an example of a bad film.

    The Brits have a better handle on letting actresses who look a bit their age then  star in movies about older women. In America, the Stepford wives’ hold over what women need to look like is enforced.

    Even worse than the casting in that flick was casting Susan Sarandon in “White Palace.”

    That movie is about a 20 something advertising exec, grieving over the death of his perfect, gorgeous,  “when she walked through the door, the room lit up” wife. The ad guy is played by James Spader.

    Now the idea of the script, at least for those of us who read the book, was to be that Max then falls for Nora Baker,  a 40-something big busted diner waitress who enjoys the wilder side of life. She defines the word “floozy.” Mismatched or not, their attraction is instant and smoldering.

    Problem is that a straight laced Susan Sarandon plays that role. Also she looks like she is 28.

    It would be like if Harold Ramis of Ghostbusters played the Gary Cooper role in High Noon.

     

    • #216
  7. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    aardo vozz (View Comment):

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    I never realized he did non-Trek movies. I am lapsing into shock merely contemplating the possibilities.

    He actually had some good parts in non-Trek movies also. The Brothers Karamazov and Judgement at Nuremberg come to mind, not to mention a couple of Twilight Zone episodes.

    There was also that appearance on Playhouse 90 which was really good. Post-ST I think the best thing he did was playing Denny Crane on Boston Legal for the first two seasons, that is, before the show turned into an insufferable live-action Pat Oliphant cartoon. In retrospect, that development seems almost prophetic.  

    • #217
  8. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    Qoumidan (View Comment):
    Qoumidan

    Titanic.

    Spent most of the movie hating the thoroughly unredeemable main characters, and then being disappointed in the end when Rose didn’t die with dumbass. Yeah, I know that was part of the point of the movie, but it would have saved us all the trouble.

    Another good selection where it was just too bad all the characters didn’t die and shorten the film by an hour. 

    • #218
  9. Taras Coolidge
    Taras
    @Taras

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    Taras (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Titanic.

    Spent most of the movie hating the thoroughly unredeemable main characters, and then being disappointed in the end when Rose didn’t die with dumbass. Yeah, I know that was part of the point of the movie, but it would have saved us all the trouble.

    I just can’t enjoy all the great work and cinematography when I don’t care that the bad guy lived through despicable means and wish the ”good guys” died.

    Because the real rich people on the Titanic behaved well, James Cameron had to invent the Billy Zane character, to act the way rich people are supposed to act: trying to kill the hero, lying and cheating his way onto a lifeboat.

    Cameron is a piece of work. Avatar, as lame and childish as that film is, being predominantly a remake of Disney’s Pocahontas, is also a Leftist condemnation of the American military (and surprised it hasn’t made this growing list of awful films…along with Pocahontas). And then there’s the forced “joke” in Terminator 2 about kneecapping police officers that the audience is meant to laugh at.

    Avatar is more often accused of ripping off Ferngully and Dances with Wolves: http://www.scifimoviepage.com/features/avatar-ripoff.html

    The anti-gravity floating islands resemble real islands off the coast of Vietnam, nudge nudge.

    This may also be of interest:   https://www.cinemablend.com/new/Your-Guide-James-Cameron-Many-Avatar-Lawsuits-Which-Might-Actually-Work-36439.html

     

     

    • #219
  10. Western Chauvinist Member
    Western Chauvinist
    @WesternChauvinist

    Oh, geeze! How’d we get this far without nominating Waterworld??!!

    I’ve used my final answer on Stella, so I’m gifting this one to someone else.

    • #220
  11. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Western Chauvinist (View Comment):

    Oh, geeze! How’d we get this far without nominating Waterworld??!!

    I’ve used my final answer on Stella, so I’m gifting this one to someone else.

    Water World was bad and forgettable.  It’s in that Ishtar category in that its badness was mostly related to its budget and expectations.  Absent the ridiculous budgets both these films would have been quietly forgotten at release. 

    • #221
  12. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Matt Bartle (View Comment):
    I may in the minority here but I read Jurassic Park and thought it was disappointing. Interesting idea and setup, and then page after page of people running from monsters, which we’ve seen a million times before.

    But then the humans hunt the dinosaurs. The egg scene with Grant was MAGNIFICENT.

    • #222
  13. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the original Batman movie from 1966.

    Because it’s a fun movie.

    • #223
  14. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the original Batman movie from 1966.

    Because it’s a fun movie.

    Absolutely! Batman: The Movie is camp to the fourth power!

    • #224
  15. Addiction Is A Choice Member
    Addiction Is A Choice
    @AddictionIsAChoice

    • #225
  16. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko

    Official answer: Edward Scissorhands

    The premise is absurd, the lead character is cloyingly morose and self-pitying, while the suburbs are a cartoonish caricature of conformity.  This is a movie only a goth kid could love.

    • #226
  17. The Cynthonian Inactive
    The Cynthonian
    @TheCynthonian

    Marjorie Reynolds (View Comment):

    I was going to to nominate Ladybird, a film about a self absorbed teenage girl who stamps her foot until she’s allowed go to a college her unemployed father can’t afford. Bonus points for pro abortion propaganda, I think this was supposed to be funny.

    But I’m nominating Love Actually for undermining the Christmas movie genre. It’s a poor film for many reasons, including having too many characters, awkward attempts to establish links between different characters, silly plots for most of the characters.

    But what makes it an actually disgusting film is the highly inappropriate and improbable conversation between Liam Neeson’s character and his stepchild about him diddling the child’s dead mother in every room in the house. There’s also the ‘hilarious’ simulated scenes between the film extras which are just pointlessly gross. Still, nothing tops the exploitation of a child for a cheap tawdry chuckle.

    I’m giving this a big thumbs-up.  I despise both of these and think they’re HORRIBLE movies.   The only good scene in “Love Actually” is when Hugh Grant calls Baroness Thatcher a “saucy minx.”  I hate the multiple subplots, especially the one where Alan Rickman cheats on Emma Thompson.  

    Lots of worthy nominees in this thread!

     

    • #227
  18. Dotorimuk Coolidge
    Dotorimuk
    @Dotorimuk

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the original Batman movie from 1966.

    Loved it. A classic.

    • #228
  19. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    Sisyphus (View Comment):

    OccupantCDN (View Comment):

    The worst movie ever? I nominate “Howard the Duck”. The worst movie that LucasFilm ever made. Yes its even worse than the Star Wars Prequels.

    It resolved my crush on Lea Thompson, who played Beverley Switzer. There’s an idea for a topic, what role killed your previously strong interest in an actor? My other example is Goldie Hawn in Swing Shift, as she played a fair approximation of my evil grandmother who dumped her volunteer soldier husband during WWII for an abusive drunk. I went from avid fan to no longer able to watch her.

    I havent seen “Swing Shift” but for me it was “Bird on a Wire” that killed my interest in both Goldie Hawn and Mel Gibson.

    Genna Davis – Cutthroat Island…

    Demi Moore – G I Jane..

    Eddie Redmayne … The Danish Girl.

    Frankly Twitter does a better job of ending my interest in actors than bad movies. I realize that the actor doesnt have a lot of control of his art – Its such a team effort, that the best performances could be hindered by the director, editor, writers or a million things in pre and post production…

     

    • #229
  20. Dr. Bastiat Member
    Dr. Bastiat
    @drbastiat

    Dotorimuk (View Comment):

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned the original Batman movie from 1966.

    Loved it. A classic.

    I watched it for the first time about 3 years ago.   I spent the entire movie trying to figure out what I was watching.  What were they trying to produce?  

    That is one strange movie. 

    • #230
  21. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Taras (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):

    Titanic.

    Spent most of the movie hating the thoroughly unredeemable main characters, and then being disappointed in the end when Rose didn’t die with dumbass. Yeah, I know that was part of the point of the movie, but it would have saved us all the trouble.

    I just can’t enjoy all the great work and cinematography when I don’t care that the bad guy lived through despicable means and wish the ”good guys” died.

    Because the real rich people on the Titanic behaved well, James Cameron had to invent the Billy Zane character, to act the way rich people are supposed to act: trying to kill the hero, lying and cheating his way onto a lifeboat.

    I believe it was Kenneth Turan who ripped it apart – to everybody dismay. James Cameron even wrote a response, to the effect of, “My movie was one of the greatest of all time.” Turan made a comment about the cover art being an enlarged DiCaprio and Winslet superimposed over the ship, and about how this spoke volumes for the movie’s misdirection.

    I have to give it credit for the lovely, tragic montage set to “Nearer, My God, to Thee” during the rushing of the sinking, but it wasn’t enough to redeem it. I know I’ve already made it clear that I’m an Altman acolyte, but that movie should’ve been given to Altman. He might’ve finally got a hit after MASH.

    • #231
  22. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Jason Rudert (View Comment):

    A dangerous choice, because probably no one here has seen it, but I literally HATE this movie:

    Safe, by Todd Haynes.

    (1995, so not the 2012 Jason Statham movie, which I haven’t seen.)

    It’s about a bunch of women who have Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and form a kind of commune with a guru and a pyramid. I hated them all so much, I wanted to slather them with hot paint stripper, and I have had hot paint stripper splash on my face.

    Todd Haynes is the only thoroughly cyclical director besides Kubrick – he just doesn’t have a quarter of Kubrick’s talent.

    Vile!

    • #232
  23. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Addiction Is A Choice (View Comment):

    Yes! Good fight club week! 

    • #233
  24. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Official answer: Edward Scissorhands

    The premise is absurd, the lead character is cloyingly morose and self-pitying, while the suburbs are a cartoonish caricature of conformity. This is a movie only a goth kid could love.

    I really like this one. Absolutely absurd, but this was Burton in his prime: PeeWee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas… the man loves freaks, but at least he loves something.

    • #234
  25. Vince Guerra Inactive
    Vince Guerra
    @VinceGuerra

    Samuel Block (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Official answer: Edward Scissorhands

    The premise is absurd, the lead character is cloyingly morose and self-pitying, while the suburbs are a cartoonish caricature of conformity. This is a movie only a goth kid could love.

    I really like this one. Absolutely absurd, but this was Burton in his prime: PeeWee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas… the man loves freaks, but at least he loves something.

    Had some good music as well. I haven’t seen it since I was a kid but I loved the Phantom of the Opera style ending (if I’m remembering it correctly). 

    • #235
  26. Samuel Block Support
    Samuel Block
    @SamuelBlock

    Vince Guerra (View Comment):

    Samuel Block (View Comment):

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Official answer: Edward Scissorhands

    The premise is absurd, the lead character is cloyingly morose and self-pitying, while the suburbs are a cartoonish caricature of conformity. This is a movie only a goth kid could love.

    I really like this one. Absolutely absurd, but this was Burton in his prime: PeeWee’s Big Adventure, Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, The Nightmare Before Christmas… the man loves freaks, but at least he loves something.

    Had some good music as well. I haven’t seen it since I was a kid but I loved the Phantom of the Opera style ending (if I’m remembering it correctly).

    A lovely score!

    • #236
  27. The Cynthonian Inactive
    The Cynthonian
    @TheCynthonian

    Deleted—-duplicate post.  

    • #237
  28. Joshua Bissey Inactive
    Joshua Bissey
    @TheSockMonkey

    2007’s Atonement

    I don’t remember the details. I just remember watching maybe half of it, and turning it off in disgust. I’ve not read the book, and maybe that was quite good, for all I know.

    Runner up: 2010’s Red

    I think people fell in love with the idea of a film that featured top, but aging, talents playing top, but aging agents. But the film we got was just blah. This one I finished watching, however.

     

    • #238
  29. OldPhil Coolidge
    OldPhil
    @OldPhil

    Joshua Bissey (View Comment):

    2007’s Atonement

    I don’t remember the details. I just remember watching maybe half of it, and turning it off in disgust. I’ve not read the book, and maybe that was quite good, for all I know.

    Runner up: 2010’s Red

    I think people fell in love with the idea of a film that featured top, but aging, talents playing top, but aging agents. But the film we got was just blah. This one I finished watching, however.

     

    I couldn’t even get through the book. One of the few in my reading life I’ve not been able to finish. Another one was Joseph Heller’s Something Happened. Spoiler: Nothing happens.

    • #239
  30. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Joshua Bissey (View Comment):

    2007’s Atonement

    I don’t remember the details. I just remember watching maybe half of it, and turning it off in disgust. I’ve not read the book, and maybe that was quite good, for all I know.

    Runner up: 2010’s Red

    I think people fell in love with the idea of a film that featured top, but aging, talents playing top, but aging agents. But the film we got was just blah. This one I finished watching, however.

     

    Red is fantastic!  One of my favorite movies of the last decade.

    • #240
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