Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
Ricochet Movie Fight Club: Question 18
Last week Brian Watt came out of his corner raging for a Page One knockout. Philo’s Page Three uppercut sent him reeling and Brian ended up clinging to the ropes, eying the clock but still upright when the final bell sounded. His jaw may be a little sore today, but not too sore to ask: What is the worst movie (not a made-for-TV movie) ever made?
From Brian:
It should be a movie shown in a movie theater produced or distributed by a major studio (MGM, Universal, United Artists, 20th Century Fox, Columbia, RKO, Warner Brothers, Disney, etc.); a movie that others may have raved about which prompted you to see it; that was so bad, you may have walked out or griped about it and felt cheated for wasting your money on it; so bad that you may have even heckled it or made catcalls at the screen in the theater while watching it; and so bad that you may actually think less of others’ taste in movies – whether critics, celebrities, or friends — who actually hold this awful film in high regard.
Of course, the more comprehensive your answer on why the movie is so awful, the more persuasive your answer will be.
The Rules:
- Post your answer as a comment. Make it clear that this is your official answer, one per member.
- Defend your answer in the comments and fight it out with other Ricochet member answers for the rest of the week.
- Whoever gets the most likes on their official answer comment (and only that comment) by Friday night wins the fight.
- The winner gets the honor of posting the next question on Saturday.
- In the case of a tie, the member who posted the question will decide the winner.
Notes:
- Only movies will qualify (no TV shows) however films that air on television (BBC films, a stand-alone mini-series) will qualify.
- Your answer can be as off-the-wall or controversial as you’d like. It will be up to you to defend it and win people to your side.
- Fight it out.
Special thanks to Arahant for compiling a list of previous questions.
Movie Fight Club Questions by Week:
- What is the best film portrayal of a book character? Winner: Charlotte with 18 likes for Alan Rickman’s portrayal of Professor Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies.
- What is the best motion picture comedy of the 21st century? Winner: split decision. In an exemplary display of genuine sportsmanship, Randy Webster conceded the fight to Marjorie Reynolds’ pick Team America: World Police.
- What film provides the most evocative use of location? Winner: Taras with 21 likes for Lawrence of Arabia. Wasn’t even close.
- What is the best film that utilizes or is inspired by a work of William Shakespeare? Winner: Dr. Bastiat with five likes for The Lion King, a film inspired by Hamlet.
- Which movie has the best surprise ending, or unexpected plot twist? Winner: Repmodad with 18 likes for The Sixth Sense.
- What pre-1970s black-and-white movie would be most enjoyed by a modern 18-to 25-year-old audience? Winner: E J Hill with 9 likes for a Casablanca. (He didn’t exactly designate it his official answer, and most of the likes may have been for the modern Casablanca trailer rather than for it as an answer to the question, but nobody seemed to dispute it on those grounds, so that’s how the cookie crumbles.)
- What movie did you go to based on the trailer, only to have felt cheated? (i.e., the trailer was 10x better than the movie?) Winner: Back to back wins by E J Hill with 9 likes for Something to Talk About.
- Name the worst movie portrayal of your profession (where applicable.) Winner: LC with 8 likes for Denise Richards’ Dr. Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough.
- What is the worst movie that claims to be based or inspired by a true story? Winner: Tex929rr with 16 likes for the, “…terrible acting, and countless deviations from history,” in Pearl Harbor.
- What is your favorite little known movie? Winner: A last-minute rally for Tremors made the difference as Songwriter took the week 10 win!
- What is the best movie that you never want to watch again? Winner:
HitlerCharlotte with 15 likes for Schindler’s List. Sorry, Richard Oshea but Jesus won the real fight.
Week 11.5 Exhibition Match (as a make-up of sorts, since Songwriter didn’t get the week 11 question submitted in time) Name the best movie theme song ever? No winner declared but I’m pretty sure it was I.M. Fine with “Moon River.” - Name the best animated feature-length movie of all time. Winner: I.M. Fine with 10 likes for Pinocchio, and justice for I.M. Fine prevailed.
- What is the worst acting performance in an otherwise good film? Winner: In one of the most brutal fights we’ve seen yet Repmodad fended off a furious 12th-round onslaught by Gary McVey to give Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves the win with 20 likes.
- What is the quintessential American movie? Winner: Miffed White Male pulled off the comeback with 20 likes for The Right Stuff. There was a two-way tie at 19 for second place as well.
- What’s the most entertaining movie set during WWII? Winner: Arahant clearly won with Casablanca’s walloping 30 likes despite the withering onslaught by Sisyphus on the final day.
- What is the best movie love story? Winner: Songwriter with 20 likes for The Princess Bride with 20 likes. Up managed to make a strong showing and Dr. Bastiat is still conducting recounts trying to “find” some uncounted votes.
- What’s the best’ buddy’ movie? Winner: Brian Watt wins with 12 likes for The Man Who Would be King.
Published in General
Official answer: How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Trink, Dr. Trink, Mr. C and I were in a theater with maybe four other people. It was so bad, we started to look at each other with wide eyes and got the message — time to go. The only movie I ever remember walking out on.
Gosh. So many bad movies…
I’ll say Showgirls.
Movie about Vegas showgirls that was so badly written, acted, and directed that I wondered if anyone involved in production ever said, “You know, maybe we should just stop.”
It made porn seem joyful and inspiring.
Just indescribably horrible.
Oh there are a few. My first R rated sneak in was Romeo Must Die – truly awful, korean gang flick with the Romeo and Juliet story.
Then there was a virtual reality prison gladiator movie I wanted to see with my brother. We walked out 5 minutes into it.
But I think the one I felt most cheated on was a NR reviewed movie as a good, adult movie that dealt with adult themes. This was also my answer for the misleading trailers…
NR’s reviewer was very positive about Tully, and I took my church group to see it. May I just say I was mortified? I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole. I don’t know if it was the midnight raunchfest of late night HBO docudrama reality tv or what appeared to be Tully’s night nurse getting it on with her husband. While the end resolved some of the shock, I was still incredibly irate at the movie and the reviewer. As if Adult themed movies must come with raunch? As if adults who want serious and edgy content are looking for such nasty? Please.
Official answer: Tully
I don’t have a nominee yet off the top of my head, but my wife says whatever it is, it will star Jennifer Aniston.
I’m thinking it will probably involve members of the cast of Saturday Night Live.
My nomination stars Whoopi Goldberg. I win.
The image in the OP reminded me that my son once made me watch….
Official Answer: Zoolander
I had successfully suppressed the memory, until just this post. That puts you on my [expletive] list, @vinceguerra.
I’v never seen it, but my understanding is that that’s one of those movies that is so bad it crosses over into good, if you approach it with the correct mindset.
After some thought, I’m going to nominate the only movie I ever walked out of in the theater, the original Friday the Thirteenth, which started the trend of slasher films. I’d nominate the whole genre if I could, but I’ll at least go with the progenitor.
Official answer.
No. Showgirls is just bad.
I never saw Friday the 13th. I saw the original Nightmare on Elm Street, and I thought it was actually a pretty clever movie. But in general, I can’t watch horror movies.
There are oh so many to choose from. Star Wars prequels and sequels. The Hobbit trilocide. Any Coen or Anderson movies (although I’m a lonely voice in that particular wilderness).
What I keep coming back to are two of my all time least liked: Very Bad Things and Showgirls.
[EDIT: I’m too late, someone else already claimed this “film”, so I withdraw] I think my official answer is Showgirls. I was 21 in 1995 when this came out, and I had been a regular viewer of Saved By the Bell (an 80’s/90’s tween sitcom airing mostly Saturday mornings or after school). I thought Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) was hot – not as hot as Kelly (Tiffani Thiessen) – so I was primed for this movie especially considering that almost all of it had these beautiful women naked. So I was 21, it was a movie where all the women were naked most of the time, and I was already a fan (fantasizer) about the star. Even then I knew this movie stunk. No amount of bare breasts could save this movie even for 21 year old me back in the dark patriarchal recesses of 1995.
Showgirls almost ruined boobs. This is the worst movie ever made.
Argh! You beat me to it! Damn!
I’m going with Saturday Night Fever. It may have been the events of the circumstances surrounding the evening. As best I recall, it consisted of me, two Skinnerville buddies, three 12-packs at a drive-in theatre, in a pickup truck, out in the sticks. Beer could not make The Bee Gees or the gratuitous dancing go away.
Final answer
New official answer: Taxi Driver
I did not finish watching it. Nothing grabbed me, and much annoyed me. I didn’t care about any of the characters; I didn’t deliberate about just who or what what was crazy and who or what was normal. I wasn’t shocked by it. I hated the style and the acting. What was the point? Little to nothing as far as I could tell. No thanks.
Runners up:
U Turn
Very Bad Things
It’s a “B” movie, so probably doesn’t count, but it is a real movie.
Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death
My first husband brought it home, and it was just awful, but so bad as to be hilarious. And the title should win a prize in itself.
“B” movies always have the best titles.
From Justin to Kelly. (official answer)
Proving that one should never assume success in one genre will automatically lead to success in another.
This film does have one of the best comments from a review I’ve ever read, however: “It’s like ‘Grease: The Next Generation’ acted out by the food-court staff at SeaWorld.” (Entertainment Weekly)
Is there a way to negative vote on here? While not a great movie, Zoolander is the opposite of a bad movie and by no means the worst. A fun movie that had the misfortune of being released shortly after 9/11 but gained a following on DVD.
So hard… there are so many movies to choose from. I hated The Butler. That Kevin Spacey movie, Shrink, comes to mind. There are also so many that I couldn’t nominate because all I needed to see was a scene or two before giving the movie an emphatic, “Nupe!”
I guess I’ll just go with my first instinct: Hostel. It’s about a couple of sleazy Americans who are abducted by a company that allows rich creeps to torture and murder people. The only thing more disgusting than its premise was its execution. Eli Roth has managed to make some good horror movies since – Knock Knock managed to pull off torturousness while identifying pressure points in our insincere, cool culture. Hostel was pure trash (though I did cut out early… after the director decided to show me a drill going into a character’s pectoral muscle, accompanied with pathetic screams).
Final answer.
So many bad Adam Sandler movies, but if I must choose, “Don’t Mess With The Zohan” is probably the worst of the lot, and any one of a dozen or so would make the bottom ten list. It is absurd, unfunny and horrible. I kept waiting for the jokes to come, but they didn’t. They ran away. Keep in mind, I think Sandler has done some fine, if silly, work. This movie is best forgotten immediately! It leaves a mark, and it stinks.
My official answer is Snakes on a Plane.
I try not to influence the votes with the image but Zoolander is so bad I simply couldn’t hold off. Sorry for reminding you about that, but the world needs to know.
Kind of obscure, but heads my personal ‘how did I get talked into this?’ list:
Quest for Fire
Official answer.
Interesting. I think it gets too much attention, especially compared to Mean Streets, which I think is among Scorcese’s finest, but Taxi Driver is a good picture about the moral confusion of the 1970s.
I nearly nominated The Wolf of Wall Street, which, I probably should have, since I doubt many people here would’ve even considered watching the horrendous one I picked.
Exodus: Gods and Kings – Christian Bale
Official answer
I guess there is a difference between “worst” and “most disappointing” so that some movies like Ghostbusters II, The Lost World, and (I imagine) Porky’s II from the latter category are going to suffer in games like this.
From personal movie watching experience, I would put The Dark Crystal in the mix but that may be because the theater I saw it in ran the reels in the wrong order and nothing made any sense. I never bothered to see it properly.
To me, some of the worst movies are the ones that attempt to tell detailed history or stay true to a story in which there is just too much material for a movie length feature. They end up with so many scenes intended to check off “important” boxes but that don’t add entertainment value to the movie. Sometimes these attempts to be true /complete cause the whole project to just falls apart into a complete mess. It is from this category that I will nominate Atlas Shrugged Part III: Who is John Galt? (2014). After already dividing the book into three movies (of which the first two were reasonably well done), the third was still a spliced up, un-followable waste of time and popcorn. Everyone involved in the project should be truly embarrassed. (Official Answer.)
P.S. The wife nominates The Sweetest Thing (2002). I did manage to stick with it through the trailer…she may be right.
The only movie mentioned here that I’ve even seen part of is Grease, and that only because my wife likes it.
Gangs of New York. Watched it on HBO or something. My wife gave up and went to bed after an hour, I fell asleep soon after. I never fall asleep in front of the TV.
Official answer.
I understand that this is what people say about it, but I don’t see where it succeeded even assuming that its perspective on the “confusion” was coming from a solid moral place instead of the nihilistic relativistic instigator of the confusion.
I would add a “negative vote”, too.
It was a clever satire of the fashion industry, with the good-natured but dimwitted hero hired to promote a new clothing line inspired by homeless people. And I enjoyed the explanation of why most assassins are male models: dumb enough to be easily manipulated, but in terrific shape. (John Wilkes Booth was the quintessential actor-slash-model, we are told.)
Now, Zoolander 2, on the other hand, was pretty bad.