Recommended by Ricochet Members Created with Sketch. Washington Post: Cancel the Texas Rangers!

 

It’s not just the Redskins and the Indians anymore. An editor from the Washington Post wants the Texas Rangers canceled. No, not the law enforcement Texas Rangers. (Well yes, actually. Them too.) The baseball team.

The Rangers were set up by the Republic (later the State) of Texas to enforce the laws, including the laws supporting slavery. Therefore, the name has to go. The history is sound. The reasoning based on that history a little less so. Slavery was legal in Washington DC before Abraham Lincoln signed the DC Compensated Emancipation Act in 1862. It took a little longer to re-establish federal control over the State of Texas, but that happened too. However, feelings have been hurt, and we cannot allow hurt feelings.

But if we are going to start renaming teams, the Rangers are only the starting point. Long Island has Rangers; are we renaming them too? Piracy was intimately involved in the slave trade — there goes the Pirates, the Buccaneers, and the Raiders. Bad news for Michigan State too. The Spartans enslaved the Messenians; all the Messenians. The name has got to go. And Portland? Yeah, “Trail Blazers” brings to mind the early settlers who stole this entire continent from the original inhabitants. Shame on you for your implicit imperialism, Portland. Yankees (hated the world over), Sooners, Vikings, Patriots, Pioneers; so many problematic names that we should just rename the lot.

But now, we need new names. I’ve come up with a few.

The Snowflakes.

The Participation Trophy Recipients.

The Hair-Bun Wearing Man-Babies.

Do you have any suggestions?

I almost forgot. Guess the first name of the brave WaPo editor who has issued this demand. Go on. You can do it.

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  1. Hoyacon Member

    Yes! The dumber this gets, the better.

    • #1
    • July 15, 2020, at 11:51 AM PDT
    • 8 likes
  2. Sisyphus Coolidge
    Sisyphus Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Yeah, Karen, excellent. But they want me to subscribe to read the article. I do not solicit the darkness.

    • #2
    • July 15, 2020, at 11:52 AM PDT
    • 9 likes
  3. Hoyacon Member

    Rangers sounds OK to me (caution brief “n” word):

     

    • #3
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:03 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  4. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Hoyacon (View Comment):

    Yes! The dumber this gets, the better.

    I’m working to my strength.

    • #4
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:06 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  5. Franco Member
    Franco Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I propose the new name for the Redskins:

    The Washington Posts

    Scouting report They block well, but intelligence and mobility …questionable. 

    • #5
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:06 PM PDT
    • 24 likes
  6. Judge Mental Member

    The Inoffensives.

    • #6
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:07 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  7. Arahant Member

    Percival: Guess the first name of the brave WaPo editor who has issued this demand. Go on. You can do it.

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • #7
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:08 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  8. Arahant Member

    Percival: Do you have any suggestions?

    The Karens

    • #8
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:12 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  9. Arahant Member

    The Zombies (Works especially well in Chicago or other large cities where the dead vote.)

    The Grays (I’d explain it to you, but it would involve probing questions.)

     

    • #9
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:14 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  10. The Elephant in the Room Member

    From the National Museum of Denmark:

    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    CANCEL THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS!

    • #10
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:23 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  11. Arahant Member

    The Sand Boots

    • #11
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:32 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  12. Sisyphus Coolidge
    Sisyphus Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    The Wonks.

    • #12
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:36 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  13. Seawriter Contributor

    I think it is almost time to start playing cowboys and journalists.

    • #13
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:39 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  14. Bishop Wash Member

    The White Saviors since that seems to be who’s calling for all of these name changes.

    • #14
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:40 PM PDT
    • 13 likes
  15. Arahant Member

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    The White Saviors since that seems to be who’s calling for all of these name changes.

    Best yet. Or maybe, “The White Man’s Burden.”

    • #15
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:41 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  16. DrewInWisconsin, Unhelpful Com… Coolidge

    The Elephant in the Room (View Comment):
    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    My ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. Who do I go to for reparations?

    • #16
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:44 PM PDT
    • 15 likes
  17. Sisyphus Coolidge
    Sisyphus Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I’m thinking a psychotherapist maybe?

    • #17
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:52 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  18. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    DrewInWisconsin Doesn't C… (View Comment):

    The Elephant in the Room (View Comment):
    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    My ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. Who do I go to for reparations?

    Take yourself out to dinner and lay a guilt trip on yourself in a frank conversation. Then apologize.

    • #18
    • July 15, 2020, at 12:52 PM PDT
    • 18 likes
  19. Dave of Barsham Member

    DrewInWisconsin Doesn't C… (View Comment):

    The Elephant in the Room (View Comment):
    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    My ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. Who do I go to for reparations?

    I think in this case you take money out of one pocket, light about 20% of it on fire, and put the rest in your other pocket.

    • #19
    • July 15, 2020, at 1:05 PM PDT
    • 16 likes
  20. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member

    The Elephant in the Room (View Comment):

    From the National Museum of Denmark:

    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    CANCEL THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS!

    They generally do a pretty good job of that on their own. 

    • #20
    • July 15, 2020, at 1:37 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  21. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member

    Percival (View Comment):

    DrewInWisconsin Doesn’t C… (View Comment):

    The Elephant in the Room (View Comment):
    “Slaves or thralls were amongst the most important commodities traded by the Vikings. They acquired slaves primarily on their expeditions to Eastern Europe and the British Isles. They could also obtain Viking slaves at home, as crimes like murder and thievery were punished with slavery. For example, a woman who stole could be punished by being forced to become her victim’s slave.”

    My ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. Who do I go to for reparations?

    Take yourself out to dinner and lay a guilt trip on yourself in a frank conversation. Then apologize.

    Frank? I thought his name was Drew.

    • #21
    • July 15, 2020, at 1:38 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  22. Stad Thatcher

    The Texas Crude . . .

    • #22
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:06 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  23. RightAngles Member

    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) (View Comment):

    I’m thinking a psychotherapist maybe?

    • #23
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:16 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  24. RightAngles Member

    “The Hair-Bun Wearing Man-Babies.”

    HAHAHA!

    • #24
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:17 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  25. Judge Mental Member

    The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.

    • #25
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:29 PM PDT
    • 12 likes
  26. TreeRat Member

    I actually like the idea of the “Participators.”

    • #26
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:36 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  27. Hang On Member
    Hang On Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Posts were cut by slaves. The holes for posts were dug by slaves. Posts require the stripping of forests and that affects global warming. 

    By keeping such a horrible name, the Washington Post proves they are racist and environmentally destructive.

    • #27
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:38 PM PDT
    • 17 likes
  28. Percival Thatcher
    Percival Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    The Virtue Signalers. 

    • #28
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:40 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  29. TreeRat Member

    Percival (View Comment):

    The Virtue Signalers.

    Virginals?

    • #29
    • July 15, 2020, at 2:42 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  30. Hang On Member
    Hang On Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Percival:

    Do you have any suggestions?

     

    The Washington Leaches

    • #30
    • July 15, 2020, at 3:12 PM PDT
    • 4 likes