Washington Post: Cancel the Texas Rangers!

 

It’s not just the Redskins and the Indians anymore. An editor from the Washington Post wants the Texas Rangers canceled. No, not the law enforcement Texas Rangers. (Well yes, actually. Them too.) The baseball team.

The Rangers were set up by the Republic (later the State) of Texas to enforce the laws, including the laws supporting slavery. Therefore, the name has to go. The history is sound. The reasoning based on that history a little less so. Slavery was legal in Washington DC before Abraham Lincoln signed the DC Compensated Emancipation Act in 1862. It took a little longer to re-establish federal control over the State of Texas, but that happened too. However, feelings have been hurt, and we cannot allow hurt feelings.

But if we are going to start renaming teams, the Rangers are only the starting point. Long Island has Rangers; are we renaming them too? Piracy was intimately involved in the slave trade — there goes the Pirates, the Buccaneers, and the Raiders.  Bad news for Michigan State too. The Spartans enslaved the Messenians; all the Messenians. The name has got to go. And Portland? Yeah, “Trail Blazers” brings to mind the early settlers who stole this entire continent from the original inhabitants. Shame on you for your implicit imperialism, Portland. Yankees (hated the world over), Sooners, Vikings, Patriots, Pioneers; so many problematic names that we should just rename the lot.

But now, we need new names. I’ve come up with a few.

The Snowflakes.

The Participation Trophy Recipients.

The Hair-Bun Wearing Man-Babies.

Do you have any suggestions?

I almost forgot. Guess the first name of the brave WaPo editor who has issued this demand. Go on. You can do it.

Published in Humor
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 99 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) Member
    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing)
    @Sisyphus

    Five years or so after the Bullets changed their name to the Wizards Doc Walker, ex-Redskin and great guy, was doing an interview. and it was pointed out to him that Washington’s basketball team is named after leaders of the Ku Klux Klan. Walker totally lost it. When he got it together he said, “I have had a race card right in front of me for all this time and totally missed it!” I never, ever heard of him actually playing these games. He gave respect to everyone.

    • #61
  2. Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) Member
    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing)
    @Sisyphus

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Dallas already removed the Ranger statue from the airport. Big mistake. When you give in to the left, the left just wants more.

    Well that’s that. No more trips to Dallas for me.

    • #62
  3. The Elephant in the Room Member
    The Elephant in the Room
    @ElephasAmericanus

    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) (View Comment):

    Five years or so after the Bullets changed their name to the Wizards Doc Walker, ex-Redskin and great guy, was doing an interview. and it was pointed out to him that Washington’s basketball team is named after leaders of the Ku Klux Klan. Walker totally lost it. When he got it together he said, “I have had a race card right in front of me for all this time and totally missed it!” I never, ever heard of him actually playing these games. He gave respect to everyone.

    In the end, they chose “Wizards” for the alliteration. The other finalist was the “Washington Kleagles.”

    • #63
  4. The Elephant in the Room Member
    The Elephant in the Room
    @ElephasAmericanus

    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) (View Comment):

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Dallas already removed the Ranger statue from the airport. Big mistake. When you give in to the left, the left just wants more.

    Well that’s that. No more trips to Dallas for me.

    You’re not missing anything.

    Fort Worth. Everything’s better in Fort Worth.

    • #64
  5. Anthracite Coolidge
    Anthracite
    @Anthracite

    The Supplicaters

    • #65
  6. Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing) Member
    Sisyphus (hears Xi laughing)
    @Sisyphus

    The Grifters

    • #66
  7. OldDanRhody's speakeasy Member
    OldDanRhody's speakeasy
    @OldDanRhody

    How have the Atlanta Braves been overlooked so  far?  A name more in keeping with their history would be the Atlanta Carpetbaggers.  

    • #67
  8. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Lone Wolf Gonzaullas could not be reached for comment. 

    • #68
  9. Hartmann von Aue Member
    Hartmann von Aue
    @HartmannvonAue

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.

    This I do not find a bad suggestion. “Redtails” would work, too. 

    • #69
  10. The Elephant in the Room Member
    The Elephant in the Room
    @ElephasAmericanus

    OldDanRhody's speakeasy (View Comment):

    How have the Atlanta Braves been overlooked so far? A name more in keeping with their history would be the Atlanta Carpetbaggers.

    I’ve heard them mentioned in stories, along with the Kansas City Chiefs (although the Chicago Blackhawks seem to have been overlooked).

    • #70
  11. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.

    This I do not find a bad suggestion. “Redtails” would work, too.

    My response would be that there is no way in hell we’re going to pick a name in any way associated with Indians, because ten years from now you’ll be b****ing about it.

    • #71
  12. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    I think they should call them the Washington White Guys.  Sure, lots of people will find it offensive, but I guarantee that the white guys won’t, and when non-white-guys complain we can yell racist.

    • #72
  13. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    I think they should call them the Washington White Guys. Sure, lots of people will find it offensive, but I guarantee that the white guys won’t, and when non-white-guys complain we can yell racist.

    I like it. On the other hand, has anyone suggested Washington Rednecks?

    • #73
  14. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member
    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw
    @MattBalzer

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    I think they should call them the Washington White Guys. Sure, lots of people will find it offensive, but I guarantee that the white guys won’t, and when non-white-guys complain we can yell racist.

    I like it. On the other hand, has anyone suggested Washington Rednecks?

    On this very site!

    • #74
  15. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    OldDanRhody's speakeasy (View Comment):

    How have the Atlanta Braves been overlooked so far? A name more in keeping with their history would be the Atlanta Carpetbaggers.

    Weren’t they the Crackers once upon a time?

    • #75
  16. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Percival (View Comment):

    OldDanRhody’s speakeasy (View Comment):

    How have the Atlanta Braves been overlooked so far? A name more in keeping with their history would be the Atlanta Carpetbaggers.

    Weren’t they the Crackers once upon a time?

    I looked it up. The Atlanta Crackers were the Atlanta-based minor league baseball teams between 1901 and 1965, when the Braves came to town.

    • #76
  17. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.

    This I do not find a bad suggestion. “Redtails” would work, too.

    My response would be that there is no way in hell we’re going to pick a name in any way associated with Indians, because ten years from now you’ll be b****ing about it.

    How is Red Tail an injun term?   I thought it had to do with Tuskegee, and it has nothing to do with Washington.  Unless they’re referring to a hawk.

    Why do sports teams need names?  Just call them the Washington team.

    • #77
  18. lowtech redneck Coolidge
    lowtech redneck
    @lowtech redneck

    Al French of Damascus (View Comment):

    Dallas already removed the Ranger statue from the airport. Big mistake. When you give in to the left, the left just wants more.

    After they removed a Confederate soldier’s memorial christened by FDR (among a frenzy of other attacks on Southern heritage), I wrote the city off.  

    But them, the Republican establishment in Texas (or pretty much any other state) isn’t much better, they just do the bidding of culturally progressive corporate donors instead of left-wing hate mobs (which amounts to the same thing, at different speeds). 

    • #78
  19. Ray Gunner Coolidge
    Ray Gunner
    @RayGunner

    Texas Rangers is outdated?  Fine.  Let’s update it:  The Texas Frackers!

    • #79
  20. M.D. Wenzel Inactive
    M.D. Wenzel
    @MDWenzel

    At this point I say lets just cancel all professional sports. They have all been overtaken by inane virtue signaling. Professional sports should be an escape from the stresses of everyday life. If it is now just another opportunity for leftists to pontificate. Than I am no longer interested in any of it

    • #80
  21. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    M.D. Wenzel (View Comment):

    At this point I say lets just cancel all professional sports. They have all been overtaken by inane virtue signaling. Professional sports should be an escape from the stresses of everyday life. If it is now just another opportunity for leftists to pontificate. Than I am no longer interested in any of it

    We have stopped all sports but NASCAR at our place.  That one seems to be heading out also

    • #81
  22. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Ray Gunner (View Comment):

    Texas Rangers is outdated? Fine. Let’s update it: The Texas Frackers!

    Probably outdated, too.

    • #82
  23. MISTER BITCOIN Inactive
    MISTER BITCOIN
    @MISTERBITCOIN

    Texas Rangers were originally the Washington Senators 

    They moved from DC to Texas and changed name to Rangers

     

    • #83
  24. Ray Gunner Coolidge
    Ray Gunner
    @RayGunner

    MISTER BITCOIN (View Comment):

    Texas Rangers were originally the Washington Senators

    They moved from DC to Texas and changed name to Rangers

     

     The Senators!!

    Now I’m offended. 

    • #84
  25. Skyler Coolidge
    Skyler
    @Skyler

    MISTER BITCOIN (View Comment):

    Texas Rangers were originally the Washington Senators

    They moved from DC to Texas and changed name to Rangers

     

    And then they responded, “There’s only one riot.”

    • #85
  26. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Can the Detroit Lions be cancelled?   Or at least fed to the Christians?

    • #86
  27. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    Can the Detroit Lions be cancelled? Or at least fed to the Christians?

    Oh yeah, I want to go after all the animal names.  These animals didn’t ask to have a football team named after them.  They are proud, natural creatures who are way better than humans.  How dare we?

    • #87
  28. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    Can the Detroit Lions be cancelled? Or at least fed to the Christians?

    Oh yeah, I want to go after all the animal names. These animals didn’t ask to have a football team named after them. They are proud, natural creatures who are way better than humans. How dare we?

    I don’t care about the Lion’s name.   They are just a horrible football team and organization that reflects poorly on football,  Michigan,  felines, & humanity.  

    • #88
  29. Misthiocracy got drunk and Member
    Misthiocracy got drunk and
    @Misthiocracy

    https://thenationaltelegraph.com/sports-culture/canadas-inuit-defend-the-edmonton-eskimos-name

    • #89
  30. Misthiocracy got drunk and Member
    Misthiocracy got drunk and
    @Misthiocracy

    Hartmann von Aue (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.

    This I do not find a bad suggestion. “Redtails” would work, too.

    Can’t do it. It’s already owned by someone else. There’s a guy whose hobby is to copyright likely names for sports teams, and he’s already copyrighted every clever possibility for a new Washington name.  The real name they choose will be something boring that he couldn’t guess.

    Apologies I don’t have a citation, but I assure you it’s accurate. I assume you could DuckSearch for the article.

    • #90
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.