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Washington Post: Cancel the Texas Rangers!
It’s not just the Redskins and the Indians anymore. An editor from the Washington Post wants the Texas Rangers canceled. No, not the law enforcement Texas Rangers. (Well yes, actually. Them too.) The baseball team.
The Rangers were set up by the Republic (later the State) of Texas to enforce the laws, including the laws supporting slavery. Therefore, the name has to go. The history is sound. The reasoning based on that history a little less so. Slavery was legal in Washington DC before Abraham Lincoln signed the DC Compensated Emancipation Act in 1862. It took a little longer to re-establish federal control over the State of Texas, but that happened too. However, feelings have been hurt, and we cannot allow hurt feelings.
But if we are going to start renaming teams, the Rangers are only the starting point. Long Island has Rangers; are we renaming them too? Piracy was intimately involved in the slave trade — there goes the Pirates, the Buccaneers, and the Raiders. Bad news for Michigan State too. The Spartans enslaved the Messenians; all the Messenians. The name has got to go. And Portland? Yeah, “Trail Blazers” brings to mind the early settlers who stole this entire continent from the original inhabitants. Shame on you for your implicit imperialism, Portland. Yankees (hated the world over), Sooners, Vikings, Patriots, Pioneers; so many problematic names that we should just rename the lot.
But now, we need new names. I’ve come up with a few.
The Snowflakes.
The Participation Trophy Recipients.
The Hair-Bun Wearing Man-Babies.
Do you have any suggestions?
I almost forgot. Guess the first name of the brave WaPo editor who has issued this demand. Go on. You can do it.
Published in Humor
Yes! The dumber this gets, the better.
Yeah, Karen, excellent. But they want me to subscribe to read the article. I do not solicit the darkness.
Rangers sounds OK to me (caution brief “n” word):
I’m working to my strength.
I propose the new name for the Redskins:
The Washington Posts
Scouting report They block well, but intelligence and mobility …questionable.
The Inoffensives.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The Karens
The Zombies (Works especially well in Chicago or other large cities where the dead vote.)
The Grays (I’d explain it to you, but it would involve probing questions.)
From the National Museum of Denmark:
The Sand Boots
The Wonks.
I think it is almost time to start playing cowboys and journalists.
The White Saviors since that seems to be who’s calling for all of these name changes.
Best yet. Or maybe, “The White Man’s Burden.”
My ancestors raped and enslaved my ancestors. Who do I go to for reparations?
I’m thinking a psychotherapist maybe?
Take yourself out to dinner and lay a guilt trip on yourself in a frank conversation. Then apologize.
I think in this case you take money out of one pocket, light about 20% of it on fire, and put the rest in your other pocket.
They generally do a pretty good job of that on their own.
Frank? I thought his name was Drew.
The Texas Crude . . .
HAHAHA!
The Navajo Nation has suggested the “Code Talkers” for the Redskins.
I actually like the idea of the “Participators.”
Posts were cut by slaves. The holes for posts were dug by slaves. Posts require the stripping of forests and that affects global warming.
By keeping such a horrible name, the Washington Post proves they are racist and environmentally destructive.
The Virtue Signalers.
Virginals?
The Washington Leaches