We have all seen stories in recent years of adults “finding themselves” and then announcing to the world that they are really not who they had been before. In the wake of this disaster, trying not to drown in the turbulent waters, are countless wives, husbands, and children who have discovered that a parent’s need to be “true to myself,” is more important than the well-being of everyone else in their world. It is, of course, a tragedy of our age.

Relationships should be the most important thing we have. Not self-absorption. Not asking whether “we are comfortable in our bodies.” Not “living my best life,” or “living in the moment.” Relationships are how we grow, how we improve the world around us, how we best become fulfilled. And those relationships are in every direction: spouses, neighbors, G-d, children, strangers, etc.

I mentioned in a member’s feed post recently that an extremely close friend of mine had recently committed suicide after being accused of downloading child porn.  I mentioned this to one of my daughters, and she said, “Gosh – that seems impossible.  He seemed like such a good person.”

Now, again, he’s one of my closest friends, so naturally I’ll tend to defend him.  But I strongly disagreed with her in principle, as well, so I responded with a “Dad lecture” that my kids are probably used to at this point:  “What?  You think that good people don’t do bad things?  Is that what you think?  So good people do good things and bad people do bad things?  That’s it?  Look – that’s just not how the world works, kiddo.  That’s why James Bond movies seem so ridiculous – that’s how they’re written, and it doesn’t seem real.  Because it’s not.  Human nature is not as simple as that.  That’s the whole point of the Bible.  We’re all sinners, just doing the best we can.  C’mon.  That’s why it’s so important to resist the temptation to judge those who sin differently than you do.  Leave that to God.  Us mortals are all just sinners, doing the best we can.”

I could hear her eye roll over the phone.  But whatever.

Today, September 30, 2022, is the fifteenth anniversary of my father’s death.  He’s been the genius behind a number of my posts, so today I thought I’d let him speak for himself.  Not (as has often been the case) as a Colonial Officer in Nigeria, somewhere between 1948 and 1963, but as a son and member of a remarkable family that’s left its imprint on us all:

After Charles Muffett [my Grandpa Muffett] married Mary Louise Stoddard in the chapel on Graham St on December 26, 1904, they spent their honeymoon in London, where they went to see Oscar Wilde’s Lady Windemere’s Fan (considered by mother to be very risqué!) They also witnessed a very large fire, with many engines deployed to put it out.  This made a very great impression on mother too.

As a woman earning her own living, although still living at home with her parents, Mary Louise Muffett (as she had now become) was, indeed, extraordinarily emancipated. She always claimed that she owned and wore the first pair of ‘bloomers’ in Birmingham, for she was a very keen cyclist and had attended “Professor Hubbard’s Academy for Young Lady Bicyclists” in Bingley Hall in order to learn how to mount and dismount with due modesty and decorum.

Is out there this afternoon as my wife and I await a bunch of rain tonight from Hurricane Ian. We rented a beach house at Emerald Isle, NC, for a month. We have been coming here for over 50 years, and in many ways, each visit gets better. Maybe it is just a layer of fresh paint on a fading memory, but it still shines.

The waves are churning with whitecaps as far as the eye can see. The birds are frantically feeding in the choppy surf. The fisherman has been out there almost all day long. I haven’t seen him catch anything but I admire his determination. He is casting a shiny lure into the wind and surf while wading into staggeringly treacherous footing.

Suddenly America is facing a severe structural labor shortage. We all feel it, whether we’re trying for reservations at a restaurant that has reduced hours, seeking handyman help, or just trying to get somebody to answer the dang phone.

Nurses and teachers are in short supply. Employers report at least two job openings for each job seeker. Beyond personal inconvenience, when workers produce fewer services and goods for dollars to chase, prices go up, and inflation results.

You can partly blame it on Covid. Politicians shut down much of the economy, then shoved trillions of dollars in “Covid relief fund” to those forced not to work.

Thanks to @unsk and @hartmannvonaue for their posts on the Nord Stream pipeline explosions.  I’ve reviewed the discussion at both, and have some thoughts about possible blame, which are probably too long for the comments.

I start with my understanding of the situation.  Please correct me if I get any of this wrong.

There is an excellent conversation going on regarding the post @unsk ‘s post, Tucker Carlson: Nord Stream Pipeline Sabotage: Who is behind it? The problem of course is not one thing, it is a series of things: who did it? what did they think they would get from it? who did they want people/governments to think did it? what comes next?

“What comes next?” is of course the most important question and is entirely distinguishable from “Who did it?”

Over the last couple of years, I’ve followed the Twitter account of Jennifer Michelle Greenberg. She’s a Christian woman who grew up in an abusive home. Her father claimed to be a Christian but abused Jennifer physically, sexually, and emotionally. She experienced churches that would ignore or minimize abuse. She now works to help survivors of abuse and help churches to deal with such issues Biblically.

I just finished her book Not Forsaken: A Story of Life After Abuse. I found these definitions helpful. She has dealt with people who demand that abusers must be forgiven (7 x 70) and allowed to remain in one’s life. I found her distinction between two kinds of forgiveness helpful:

I’ve found it helpful to define two modes of forgiveness: Boundaried Forgiveness and Reconciled Forgiveness.