The Art of the Deal: Greenland Edition

 

Greenland in 10 years?
Donald Trump is eyeing the deal of the century. According to the Wall Street Journal, the President is interested in America purchasing the world’s largest island: Greenland.

The idea of the U.S. purchasing Greenland has captured the former real-estate developer’s imagination, according to people familiar with the discussions, who said Mr. Trump has, with varying degrees of seriousness, repeatedly expressed interest in buying the ice-covered autonomous Danish territory between the North Atlantic and Arctic oceans.

In meetings, at dinners and in passing conversations, Mr. Trump has asked advisers whether the U.S. can acquire Greenland, listened with interest when they discuss its abundant resources and geopolitical importance and, according to two of the people, has asked his White House counsel to look into the idea.

Some of his advisers have supported the concept, saying it was a good economic play, two of the people said, while others dismissed it as a fleeting fascination that will never come to fruition. It is also unclear how the U.S. would go about acquiring Greenland even if the effort were serious.

Caddy at Trump Kangilinnguit Golf Club and Casino.
Greenland is a massive chunk of land currently owned by Denmark, about one-fifth the size of the United States. The autonomously governing population is just 56,000 — so few people live there because most of what isn’t ice is bedrock. Even hearty Icelanders abandoned their settlements there centuries ago because it was impossible to sustain a self-reliant colony. Today, Denmark pays 60 percent of Greenland’s budget.

America already has a toehold on Greenland via Thule Air Base on a northwest corner of the island. But why would we want any more of the territory? The same reason we built that bleak Cold War outpost: national security.

China has sought more property in the Arctic and the Pentagon had to block three Chinese-funded airports on Greenland just last year. It would also provide a nice legacy for Trump since President Truman was unable to make the same deal.

And, let’s face it, Trump is a real estate guy. If he can get 836,000 square miles for a few billion, it’s worth it. The island looks like a wasteland now, but we can all see him rebranding the southwestern coast “Greenland’s Riviera” and building a golf course and casino.

What do you think: is buying Greenland a crazy idea or one worth considering?

Published in General
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There are 126 comments.

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  1. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chri… Coolidge

    MAGGA!

    • #1
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:16 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  2. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chri… Coolidge

    Come on, Jon! This thing pays for itself in free campaign media.

    That said, if I’m buying an island, it’s one filled with hot babes.

    • #2
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:18 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  3. DrewInWisconsin, Thought Leader Member

    Chris Campion (View Comment):

    Come on, Jon! This thing pays for itself in free campaign media.

    That’s pretty much what I was thinking. (Er, gee . . . should I spend that on Facebook ads . . . or Greenland?) Dude! Greenland, of course!

     

    • #3
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:20 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  4. Jimmy Carter Member

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: so few people live there because most of what isn’t ice is bedrock.

    Actually, so few people live there because They ain’t Americans.

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: Even hearty Icelanders abandoned their settlements there centuries ago because it was impossible to sustain a self-reliant colony.

    Actually, Icelanders abandoned Their settlements cuz They’re wussies.

    Give Americans a desert and We turn it into Las Vegas.

    There’s no telling what We could make of Greenland. 

    • #4
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:21 PM PDT
    • 16 likes
  5. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chri… Coolidge

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: so few people live there because most of what isn’t ice is bedrock.

    Actually, so few people live there because They ain’t Americans.

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.: Even hearty Icelanders abandoned their settlements there centuries ago because it was impossible to sustain a self-reliant colony.

    Actually, Icelanders abandoned Their settlements cuz They’re wussies.

    Give Americans a desert and We turn it into Las Vegas.

    There’s no telling what We could make of Greenland.

    I’d rather buy a Greenland than an Iceland. Come on! Paying for ice is for losers.

    Although, speaking of hot babes, Iceland is full of them.

    Can we get a 2-fer-1 going here?

    • #5
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:25 PM PDT
    • 9 likes
  6. Belt Member

    I actually don’t think that it’s a terrible idea. There could be natural resources there that could eventually be worth exploiting. Any chance we could get the north of Canada while we’re shopping around? Say, everything above the 60th parallel? As long as they’re treated as territories and not states, it should be fine.

    • #6
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:27 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  7. Eustace C. Scrubb Member

    Obviously, with climate change, this will be one of the few habitable places on earth. Twenty-dimensional chess Trump is playing here. 

    • #7
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:28 PM PDT
    • 28 likes
  8. Jimmy Carter Member

    Chris Campion (View Comment):
    I’d rather buy a Greenland than an Iceland.

    Personally, I’d rather conquer it.

    But, unfortunately, We’re civilized. So, I guess I’d have to settle for purchasing It. 

    • #8
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:29 PM PDT
    • 6 likes
  9. Brian Watt Member

    Medicare for all: $30 to $40 Trillion

    Green New Deal: $93 Trillion

    Greenland New Deal — Range: $100 Billion to $1 Trillion

    Greenland. Definitely Greenland. 

    • #9
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:33 PM PDT
    • 23 likes
  10. MACHO GRANDE' (aka - Chri… Coolidge

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    Chris Campion (View Comment):
    I’d rather buy a Greenland than an Iceland.

    Personally, I’d rather conquer it.

    But, unfortunately, We’re civilized. So, I guess I’d have to settle for purchasing It.

    In many lands, buying something is conquering it.

    Victory at any price, my friend.

     

    • #10
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:33 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  11. Brian Watt Member

    You do realize if we acquire Greenland then Canada is going to get very paranoid.

    • #11
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:35 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  12. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    You do realize if we acquire Greenland then Canada is going to get very paranoid.

    Well sure. We’re going to need it to get those five extra armies a turn.

    • #12
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:40 PM PDT
    • 20 likes
  13. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member

    Belt (View Comment):

    I actually don’t think that it’s a terrible idea. There could be natural resources there that could eventually be worth exploiting. Any chance we could get the north of Canada while we’re shopping around? Say, everything above the 60th parallel? As long as they’re treated as territories and not states, it should be fine.

    It worked with Alaska.

    • #13
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:43 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
  14. Jeff Petraska Member

    We’re gonna Make Greenland Green Again!

    • #14
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:46 PM PDT
    • 10 likes
  15. Aaron Tyree Coolidge

    There is more than meets the eye going on in Greenland.

    Research the amount of activity and interest from the Chinese government in specific parts of Greenland.

    Huawei Marine is active in Greenland, and is seeking more involvement in Greenland Connect.

    The Greenland Connect underwater fiber lines link parts of North America with Iceland and parts of Europe.

    On the engineering front, geothermally powered, glacial cooled server farms are nothing to scoff at.

     

     

    • #15
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:47 PM PDT
    • 18 likes
  16. SkipSul Moderator

    Golf course? What are the greens fees?

    • #16
    • August 15, 2019, at 5:50 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  17. Franco Member

    The real Green New Deal.

    • #17
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:03 PM PDT
    • 11 likes
  18. James Gawron Thatcher

    Brian Watt (View Comment):

    Medicare for all: $30 to $40 Trillion

    Green New Deal: $93 Trillion

    Greenland New Deal — Range: $100 Billion to $1 Trillion

    Greenland. Definitely Greenland.

    Brian,

    I think Brian has the right “perspective” on this. I have been wound up thinking about Hong Kong for a couple of days. I need some R&R. How about a reprise of an old post. It only requires a new title.

    CAPTAIN GAWRON CONQUERS GREENLAND

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #18
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:04 PM PDT
    • 4 likes
  19. Vance Richards Member

    We could set up an immigration processing center there, sort of a new Ellis Island. Then we wouldn’t need to separate families.

    ”Here’s 100 pounds of seal meat. Your asylum hearing is set for next spring. See you then”

    • #19
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:12 PM PDT
    • 20 likes
  20. Drusus Coolidge

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    Obviously, with climate change, this will be one of the few habitable places on earth. Twenty-dimensional chess Trump is playing here.

    You beat me to it. Curses! 

    • #20
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:21 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  21. Roosevelt Guck Member

    Good idea. Like Jefferson did with the Louisiana Purchase, Trump should buy Greenland without informing Congress. Trump thinks big.

    • #21
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:31 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  22. Unsk Member

    For a few hundred billion, it makes a lot of sense just from a national security point of view. Gotta bet there is oil there as well someplace along with other vital natural minerals and resources. Why not?

    We are in race with China for Global Domination. Either we win or we will be dominated.

    • #22
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:32 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  23. RushBabe49 Thatcher

    Does anyone know if Denmark would sell if we offered to buy? It actually sounds like it might work. We in the USA have pretty much exhausted our internal frontier, and this would be a nice addition.

    • #23
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:43 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  24. Brian Watt Member

    Roosevelt Guck (View Comment):

    Good idea.

    • #24
    • August 15, 2019, at 6:50 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  25. Rodin Member

    If we purchase Greenland we can turn it into our Australia. First Step Part II. And we could close Guantanamo Bay.

    • #25
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:18 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  26. Gumby Mark (R-Meth Lab of Demo… Thatcher

    The greatest ice cap in the Arctic! Unbelievable! I mean it is yuuggee!

    • #26
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:43 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  27. Skyler Coolidge

    Thomas Jefferson Trump, and the Greenisiana Territory.

    • #27
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:47 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  28. Skyler Coolidge

    It’s a great plan!

     

    Step 1: Buy Greenland.

    Step 2: ??

    Step 3: Profit!

    • #28
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:48 PM PDT
    • 13 likes
  29. Jules PA Member

    The Chinese angle disturbs me. 

    In a few hundred or thousand years, it will be a warm sunny beach. 🌴

    If the people there are agreeable, they stay, if not, pay them to leave. 

    Buy it. 

     

    • #29
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:50 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  30. Fake John/Jane Galt Thatcher

    Actually I think we should buy Mexico. We already support it and a large amount of its citizens seem to want to be in our country.

    • #30
    • August 15, 2019, at 7:56 PM PDT
    • 7 likes
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