One and Only, or Shop Around?

TheRightNurse, radiant figure …
TheRightNurse, radiant figure …
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There are two philosophies of dating and finding a partner.

There is the idea that some people can find their person at the get-go.  This means that dating further is without purpose and sticking with it, learning how to be in a relationship, and making a commitment is paramount.  There is the other idea that one never knows unless one has experience of the world.  Why settle down when you can sample the finer things in life?  Why settle down when you can check around and maybe find something better?  How do you know that you want what you’ve got unless you see what else is out there?  By see, of course I mean experience.

Which one is more valid in the eyes of conservatives?

Is it more virtuous to know what you want and only date someone when they meet those qualities, then make a commitment from there?  Is it better to see what qualities you might enjoy in a partner and see what kind of people there are in the world that you might want to make a life with?

What about you?  Are you a one and only?  Or are you more of a shop-around kind of a person?

I’d like to say it’s simple for me, but I find that I’m much happier settling down with someone now that I know what I want for sure.  Yes, it’s what I’d always wanted from when I first started dating as a teenager, but now (having dated around) I am quite certain of what I want!

What should we encourage?

What say you?

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  1. Joseph Stanko Coolidge
    Joseph Stanko
    @JosephStanko
    2:03 PM EST ⋅ Dec 22, 2018

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    At least the value of input from people who know us and our backgrounds. A very important aspect of my decision to ask the now-Mrs. Tabby to marry me was the opinion of my mother, my brother, and several long-time friends,. 

    Such input is somewhat harder these days (37 years later) because people at marrying age are less likely to be living where they grew up and around people who have known them for more than a few years. 

    That reminds me of this commercial I keep seeing:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsFrREKJd68

    She has invited him over to her house for a home-cooked dinner; that’s not a typical first date.  Presumably this relationship is starting to get serious, yet when her father asks “what’s his name?” she reacts with exasperation and hangs up on him.  Apparently she has never even mentioned this man to her father, and views his interest in the matter as a nosy intrusion into her private affairs.

    • #61
  2. Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger Member
    Matt Balzer, Straw Bootlegger
    @MattBalzer
    9:12 AM EST ⋅ Dec 23, 2018

    Joseph Stanko (View Comment):

    Full Size Tabby (View Comment):

    At least the value of input from people who know us and our backgrounds. A very important aspect of my decision to ask the now-Mrs. Tabby to marry me was the opinion of my mother, my brother, and several long-time friends,.

    Such input is somewhat harder these days (37 years later) because people at marrying age are less likely to be living where they grew up and around people who have known them for more than a few years.

    That reminds me of this commercial I keep seeing:

    She has invited him over to her house for a home-cooked dinner; that’s not a typical first date. Presumably this relationship is starting to get serious, yet when her father asks “what’s his name?” she reacts with exasperation and hangs up on him. Apparently she has never even mentioned this man to her father, and views his interest in the matter as a nosy intrusion into her private affairs.

    I’m glad we’ve got someone around to pay enough attention to commercials to analyze them properly.

    Although I agree, if you have to call and ask someone to help you put together a dinner, then you ought to at least tell them who you’re cooking for.

    • #62
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