The Next Straw: Wiping Out Environmental Dangers

 

Environmental terrorist

Seattle – Fresh off their victory over plastic straws, the Seattle City Council is now looking to wipe away another environmental hazard: Single-use bath tissue, or as it is known colloquially, toilet paper. Each year Americans go through billions of rolls of toilet paper and little to none of that ever gets recycled. Some climate-deniers even resort to two-ply bath tissue just to show us how little they care for our planet. By banning toilet paper the City Council expects to save thousands of greenhouse gas eating trees. The ban is expected to be a boom to the environment with very little downside for consumers.

As you might imagine, Big Toilet Paper doesn’t like this proposal. Their lobbyists are trying to play into people’s fears by using code words like “sanitation” and “dysentery.” Admittedly, health concerns are not completely without merit but the bill before the City Council does point out that, “toilet paper was only invented in 1857 yet people were pooping for centuries before that.” One important historical fact is that in 1857, climate change was not a major concern… coincidence?

Ultimately the city would like to see all public toilets retro-fitted with a small hose that could be used to clean and high powered blowers for drying. While that change will take time and money, there are other, simpler options that could be made immediately.

One alternative is reusable wipes. Fruit-Of-The-Loom, who also makes underwear, supports the law and believes that they could quickly bring to market 4” by 8” cotton strips that could be washed and reused. For convenience when away from home there is talk of developing a Wipe Wallet that would have an outer pocket for clean wipes and a sealed inner pocket for the used ones. It should be pointed out that washing is also bad for the environment so perhaps just a light rinse with an organic vegan soap would be best.

Remember, it wasn’t all that long ago that reusable handkerchiefs were all the rage and many enlightened parents are now replacing disposable diapers with cloth ones. For the sake of our planet we can make a small change or two. You may not like it, but you should just hold your nose and do what is right.

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  1. wilber forge Inactive
    wilber forge
    @wilberforge

    The Seattle city council should lead by example, Oh the Horrors No !

    By the way how does old joke go about how a Scotsman uses  a single sheet of TP.

     

    • #31
  2. Qoumidan Coolidge
    Qoumidan
    @Qoumidan

    Vance Richards: One alternative is reusable wipes. Fruit-Of-The-Loom, who also makes underwear, supports the law and believes that they could quickly bring to market 4” by 8” cotton strips that could be washed and reused. For convenience when away from home there is talk of developing a Wipe Wallet that would have an outer pocket for clean wipes and a sealed inner pocket for the used ones.

    I spent some time using cloth diapers.  All these things already exist, along with reusable cloth menstrual pads (these are far more wonderful than they sound), so I assume you could just use the clean/dirty diaper bags for your reusable cloth wipes (yes, I have some of those for baby butts, too).

    However, I buy the ultra thick, super soft, 2 ply Charmin from Costco for my bum.  And sometimes the disposable wet wipes with witch hazel.

    And yeah, I only use the cloth diapers at home.

    • #32
  3. Hypatia Member
    Hypatia
    @

    Kozak (View Comment):

    My worst nightmare when traveling in Saudi….

    I just got back from Ukraine–the above is all they have there, too.  Try it in high heels….

    • #33
  4. Hypatia Member
    Hypatia
    @

    cdor (View Comment):

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    We do this sometimes on a sailboat; place the TP in a bag next to the head, not into the holding tank.

    But man, getting people to come out sailing can be hard enough, and all the lever flipping and handle pumping to flush is just too much for some dainty guests. (Although, as an old salt once said to me – “How difficult is a pail?”)

    They make marine TP, very easily break-downable in water. It has never been a problem in my head or tank, as long as one is reasonably parsimonious with it.

    But to do this on a universal scale, to address a concern around something as eye-rolling as AGW, is risible. Talk about the cure being more onerous than the disease . . . .

    These people are natural bullies. The want to control other folks fundamental existence. It could never be enough to suggest people use TP with care. No! They gotta make a law. It must be banned.

    “Fundamental” is the mot juste…

    • #34
  5. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    Qoumidan (View Comment):
    And yeah, I only use the cloth diapers at home.

    Well, I’m dating myself but I was in a test group for disposable diapers back in the late 60’s. I had my last baby in 1973 and I still used cloth diapers. So what if I had to do more laundry. It was like using sheets that have been dried on a clothesline – I loved the feel and smell of nice clean cloth diapers. And I didn’t stick my kids too often with the diaper pins.

     

    • #35
  6. Rocket Surgeon Inactive
    Rocket Surgeon
    @RocketSurgeon

    ALL YOU INFIDELS – LISTEN UP!

    Follow the Koran –

     Use your LEFT  HAND for wiping and for urinating.

    Keep your RIGHT HAND  for eating and for greeting. 

    No need for paper or water.

    • #36
  7. The Scarecrow Thatcher
    The Scarecrow
    @TheScarecrow

    Hypatia (View Comment):

    cdor (View Comment):

    The Scarecrow (View Comment):

    We do this sometimes on a sailboat; place the TP in a bag next to the head, not into the holding tank.

    But man, getting people to come out sailing can be hard enough, and all the lever flipping and handle pumping to flush is just too much for some dainty guests. (Although, as an old salt once said to me – “How difficult is a pail?”)

    They make marine TP, very easily break-downable in water. It has never been a problem in my head or tank, as long as one is reasonably parsimonious with it.

    But to do this on a universal scale, to address a concern around something as eye-rolling as AGW, is risible. Talk about the cure being more onerous than the disease . . . .

    These people are natural bullies. The want to control other folks fundamental existence. It could never be enough to suggest people use TP with care. No! They gotta make a law. It must be banned.

    “Fundamental” is the mot juste…

    You are very funny.

    • #37
  8. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Hypatia (View Comment):

    Kozak (View Comment):

    My worst nightmare when traveling in Saudi….

    I just got back from Ukraine–the above is all they have there, too. Try it in high heels….

    No thanks it’s bad enough wearing pants….

    • #38
  9. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Rocket Surgeon (View Comment):
    fundamental

    Yeah, being a “lefty” in Saudi was interesting.

    Kept telling the locals “dude, I don’t use my hand”….

    • #39
  10. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Kozak (View Comment):
    Because the paper companies that grow the trees for TP will just keep planting them anyway…

    When will eco-nuts get it through their thick heads that trees are a crop – to be planted and harvested.

    Decided once awhile back to attend a lecture at a local university to hear Dr. Helen Caldicott.  She is a pediatrician who is so anti nuclear that I could’t resist hearing what she had to say.  At one point she veered off her nuclear screed to instruct the audience on the horrors of denuding the earth’s rain forests to produce TP.  It’s been said that “Caldicott [is] overly emotive, self-dramatizing, inattentive to factual detail…”

    • #40
  11. Kim K. Inactive
    Kim K.
    @KimK

    I was in Athens last year and there were signs everywhere about not flushing the paper. Do you have any idea how hard it is to break the habit of wipe and drop? I could be looking directly at a sign about using the basket and still drop the paper in the water. Didn’t fish it out, either. 

    • #41
  12. Unsk Member
    Unsk
    @Unsk

    Ya know I heard in the media that Venezuela no longer produces anywhere near sufficient TP for it’s population. Coincidence? I think not after reading Vance’s post. 

    • #42
  13. Annefy Member
    Annefy
    @Annefy

    JustmeinAZ (View Comment):

    Qoumidan (View Comment):
    And yeah, I only use the cloth diapers at home.

    Well, I’m dating myself but I was in a test group for disposable diapers back in the late 60’s. I had my last baby in 1973 and I still used cloth diapers. So what if I had to do more laundry. It was like using sheets that have been dried on a clothesline – I loved the feel and smell of nice clean cloth diapers. And I didn’t stick my kids too often with the diaper pins.

     

    My mother ironed her cloth diapers! Until someone told her to stop it. Not only was a stupid waste of time, she was actually making them less effective.

    She never had a dryer til baby #6.

    After raising four kids and having two grandchildren, I consider disposable diapers to be the epitome of living in the first world. 

    • #43
  14. Blondie Thatcher
    Blondie
    @Blondie

    Kozak (View Comment):

    We’re almost there already.

     

    Sheryl Crow’s view on toilet paper: one sheet a visit

     

    Rush did that parody years ago. 

    • #44
  15. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    I think it is much more likely that you will be required to purchase a permit to use a toilet. It’s about the revenue stream.

    Kim K. (View Comment):

    I was in Athens last year and there were signs everywhere about not flushing the paper. Do you have any idea how hard it is to break the habit of wipe and drop? I could be looking directly at a sign about using the basket and still drop the paper in the water. Didn’t fish it out, either.

    Toilet paper is designed so that it will dissolve by the time it gets to the wastewater treatment plant, even the thick-ply type. It is easily treated.

    • #45
  16. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Kozak (View Comment):

    Hypatia (View Comment):

    Kozak (View Comment):

    My worst nightmare when traveling in Saudi….

    I just got back from Ukraine–the above is all they have there, too. Try it in high heels….

    No thanks it’s bad enough wearing pants….

    Imagine after having a few drinks.

    That’s what they had when I was in Russia. They weren’t nearly so clean though. You were always stepping in something.

    • #46
  17. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Hang On (View Comment):
    They weren’t nearly so clean though. You were always stepping in something.

    Definitely makes me want to restrict my travel.

    • #47
  18. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Wow – what a stinky story! Re-usable toilet paper? Wow again! Hope they make a three-ply soon – don’t mess with toilet paper!

    • #48
  19. Front Seat Cat Member
    Front Seat Cat
    @FrontSeatCat

    Kozak (View Comment):

    My worst nightmare when traveling in Saudi….

    I hate to ask – but where does the back end go? Ok – don’t answer..

    • #49
  20. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    I hate to ask – but where does the back end go? Ok – don’t answer..

    One squats.

    • #50
  21. Hang On Member
    Hang On
    @HangOn

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Front Seat Cat (View Comment):
    I hate to ask – but where does the back end go? Ok – don’t answer..

    One squats.

    And try to avoid falling in.

    • #51
  22. Al French, sad sack Moderator
    Al French, sad sack
    @AlFrench

    Kozak (View Comment):

    My worst nightmare when traveling in Saudi….

    When I took my family to Viet Nam in 2000, most of the toilets were of this nature, but there were some western style. The females in the family quickly dubbed them “squatters” and “sitters”.

    • #52
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