On Leaving Portland

 

Some of you know, but many may not, that @1967mustangman and I have left Portland, OR, for the greener pastures of Dayton, OH. While there are many things about Portland I miss (the food, Mustang’s family, my coworkers, the food, the mountains, the food…) it surprised me what a sense of relief I felt as we left the city limits. Driving a 22-foot diesel moving van was a learning experience — one which required asking @davecarter many questions on Facebook — but actually driving across this beautiful country helped remind me that there is life outside the dreary angst that progressives have created in Oregon. Wyoming and Nebraska were especially beautiful.

Perhaps the most noticeable difference is the lack of homeless people in Dayton. The winter weather is fairly inhospitable for living on the streets, and Dayton doesn’t really cotton to having homeless hanging out on street corners. Since we moved here, I have seen maybe four people asking for money on street corners. This is in stark contrast to the tent cities of Portland, where vagrancy is not only tolerated but accepted and supported. Because of that permissiveness, the freeways and under bridges are littered with trash, making the city look like a cross between Idiocracy and District 12 from The Hunger Games. Lest anyone think the homeless are harmless, I would invite you to read this, where the victim in question is my own sweet husband. To be fair, Ohio does have some of the highest heroin use in the country, but serious efforts are in place to stop the influx of drugs by the cartels. Meanwhile, at my hospital in Portland, a patient who denied any street drug use finally owned up to doing meth because, as he said, “I mean…everyone does a little meth…”

Since settling into our new place a month ago, my stress level has decreased dramatically. Oregon drivers are their own brand of special, and I’m no longer constantly angry and frustrated every time I drive down the street. I can get anywhere in the greater Dayton area in 20 minutes, as opposed to the 45 minutes it took me to commute to work at 6 am. Houses in Dayton are affordable, and the lots they’re built on are generally larger than the standard 8,000-square-foot lot in the suburbs of Portland. Why is that? Because there is no government-imposed urban growth boundary that causes people to be packed in like New Yorkers on a subway during rush hour. This also means that you can park your cars in your own driveway instead of on the street. A Portland building code makes garages and driveways just barely too small to fit two cars abreast. It is done to encourage people to give up one of their cars and utilize public transportation instead. I used to use the bus and Max system when I first moved there but had to stop when the bus going the hospital just didn’t show up a few mornings. You see the problem there. Because of the narrow driveways and garages, two car households are forced to park on the grass or on the street. The result is narrow streets that are a virtual slalom course when opposing traffic approaches. Driving in Portland is its own experience — there is a timidity to Oregon drivers that is infuriating to the rest of us. It is not at all uncommon for Oregonians to drive five miles under the speed limit on the freeway in the left lane! However, Ohio drivers are maniacs, a puzzling inconsistency with how nice everyone is.

People are nice here. I mean, very nice. Talk to you in the grocery store nice. Calling customer service at a local business and people are genuinely helpful nice. The kind of nice that people on the coasts don’t understand or value. When we broke the news of our impending move to friends of our in Portland, they also informed us of their move to Spain this summer. When we described how nice people in the Midwest are, the wife responded “It kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies. Plus I wouldn’t fit in, and I like my ethnic food too much. I think I would have a harder time adapting to Ohio than I would Spain.” When I explained how my new hospital had rolled out the red carpet for me during my interview, she said “Of course they did. There’s nothing else to look at amidst the flatness…” As someone who largely grew up in the South, it is that kind of dismissive contempt from coastal leftists that always made me feel like that girl in 7th grade with the headgear. The pretentiousness and false tolerance in Portland created a high-school-like environment of cool kids and losers.

Part of being new to Portland includes establishing one’s leftist bona fides — tattoos, unnatural hair colors, lefty bumper stickers, driving a Subaru, participating in marches, hiking, biking to work, and drinking kombucha. Ok, so I might drink kombucha … but I definitely did not measure up to Portland’s exacting standards of what’s acceptable. In fact, the mere fact that I came from the South and was open about my church attendance caused some coworkers to label me a racist, homophobic bigot without ever having one conversation with me. But as a college friend posted on Facebook this morning, that’s perfectly ok- conservatives do not deserve tolerance by the left. Since we left, Portland has continued its downward spiral into madness when 200 bikes at multiple Biketown stations were vandalized by a group saying “Our city is not a corporate amusement park.” Excuse me while I take some ibuprofen for my headache — it’s because of all the eye rolling. There’s no winning with the leftists of Portland. I guess being that woke precludes the ability to ever have any fun. It’s a miracle they ever emerge from their apartments- being that triggered at all times must be exhausting. But now I get to sit back and watch the crazy from afar, from the comfort of my new city where the traffic is light, people smile, and the children play in the yards of their houses that sit on an acre. So long, Portland!

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  1. Spin Inactive
    Spin
    @Spin

    Vicryl Contessa (View Comment):

    JudithannCampbell (View Comment):

    This map shows red and blue areas of Massachusetts, where I live. In any state, no matter how red or blue, there are liberal and conservative enclaves; I live in a red area of Western Mass, where there are lots of pickup trucks and gun owners-you only have to drive twenty minutes up the road to be in Northampton, which is a different universe.

    Which is all just to say, just because someone lives on the coast doesn’t mean they are a coastal elite-many, many of our local elites don’t even come from here originally. :)

    That is absolutely true. Eastern Oregon, much to the dismay of those in Portland, Salem, and Eugene, is very conservative. Unfortunately, much like other coastal states, the liberal cities dictate policy for the rest of the state. Hence why so many have called for breaking up California.

    Same same in Washington.  Counties are all the same, too.  City:  liberal, rural areas:  conservative…well…not progressive, lets say that.  

    • #91
  2. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    The fine folks in Ohio take serious umbrage at the license plates from you Carolina boys about who really is the home to the first in flight….

    That’s because the Wright brothers just did up and down, in a straight line, at Kitty Hawk. They came home and developed true flying, e.g., being able to turn.

    You have no idea how difficult that engineering challenge initially was (cough*wing warping*cough) ….and how the patent fight over that and every other thing about controlled flight, delayed US development for about 10 years. Thus giving the stinking French the naming rights to most of the initial innovative aviation feature such as “fuselage”, “ailerons”, “empennage”, “canard”, “pitot tube”. One could argue that “stabilizer” of which we have vertical and horizontal versions on airplanes are also of French roots…

    Lawyers always the bane to progress.

    • #92
  3. Ian Mullican Inactive
    Ian Mullican
    @IanMullican

    The driving in Nebraska is heaven. It has a high speed limit, and even though there are only two lanes on the main highway, every car Is come across stayed in the right lane unless passing. If you merged into a highway and there was a car in the right lane, it would shift to the left lane to make it easier for you to merge. What a great place to drive, and loved those beautiful fields.

    • #93
  4. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    The fine folks in Ohio take serious umbrage at the license plates from you Carolina boys about who really is the home to the first in flight….

    That’s because the Wright brothers just did up and down, in a straight line, at Kitty Hawk. They came home and developed true flying, e.g., being able to turn.

    You have no idea how difficult that engineering challenge initially was (cough*wing warping*cough) ….and how the patent fight over that and every other thing about controlled flight, delayed US development for about 10 years. Thus giving the stinking French the naming rights to most of the initial innovative aviation feature such as “fuselage”, “ailerons”, “empennage”, “canard”, “pitot tube”. One could argue that “stabilizer” of which we have vertical and horizontal versions on airplanes are also of French roots…

    Lawyers always the bane to progress.

    Lawyers were not the problem.

    The problems were two-fold.

    First, like many inventors, the Wright Brothers were nutjobs. They were nutjobs who had their own incorrect ideas of patent law. That created an obsessive secrecy that greatly hindered them. 25 years later, another American nutjob, Robert Goddard, similarly sabotaged his own work, which is why von Braun is more famous.

    Second, they had the US government as a competitor. Nothing can stifle innovation like having the government as a competitor.

    • #94
  5. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Columbo (View Comment):
    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Well, as kids we thought they had value.  Every fall we would collect little red wagons full of the things.  Oh, wait.  Truth be told, we never did anything with them.  Just collect them year after year (in Pittsburgh).  Has anyone come up with a use for them???

    • #95
  6. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):
    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Well, as kids we thought they had value. Every fall we would collect little red wagons full of the things. Oh, wait. Truth be told, we never did anything with them. Just collect them year after year (in Pittsburgh). Has anyone come up with a use for them???

    We used to throw them at each other.  Does that count as useful?

    • #96
  7. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Judge Mental (View Comment):
    We used to throw them at each other. Does that count as useful?

    Yes

    • #97
  8. Vicryl Contessa Thatcher
    Vicryl Contessa
    @VicrylContessa

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):
    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Well, as kids we thought they had value. Every fall we would collect little red wagons full of the things. Oh, wait. Truth be told, we never did anything with them. Just collect them year after year (in Pittsburgh). Has anyone come up with a use for them???

    I’ve never seen one. Only eaten the candy version of them. And isn’t that really what matters?

    • #98
  9. Matt Balzer Member
    Matt Balzer
    @MattBalzer

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):
    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Well, as kids we thought they had value. Every fall we would collect little red wagons full of the things. Oh, wait. Truth be told, we never did anything with them. Just collect them year after year (in Pittsburgh). Has anyone come up with a use for them???

    We used to throw them at each other. Does that count as useful?

    Good enough for me.

    • #99
  10. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    Vicryl Contessa (View Comment):

    barbara lydick (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):
    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Well, as kids we thought they had value. Every fall we would collect little red wagons full of the things. Oh, wait. Truth be told, we never did anything with them. Just collect them year after year (in Pittsburgh). Has anyone come up with a use for them???

    I’ve never seen one. Only eaten the candy version of them. And isn’t that really what matters?

    They are awesome candy (chocolate covered peanut butter fudge) and are scientifically proven to provide good luck.

    • #100
  11. GLDIII Reagan
    GLDIII
    @GLDIII

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    The fine folks in Ohio take serious umbrage at the license plates from you Carolina boys about who really is the home to the first in flight….

    That’s because the Wright brothers just did up and down, in a straight line, at Kitty Hawk. They came home and developed true flying, e.g., being able to turn.

    You have no idea how difficult that engineering challenge initially was (cough*wing warping*cough) ….and how the patent fight over that and every other thing about controlled flight, delayed US development for about 10 years. Thus giving the stinking French the naming rights to most of the initial innovative aviation feature such as “fuselage”, “ailerons”, “empennage”, “canard”, “pitot tube”. One could argue that “stabilizer” of which we have vertical and horizontal versions on airplanes are also of French roots…

    Lawyers always the bane to progress.

    Lawyers were not the problem.

    The problems were two-fold.

    First, like many inventors, the Wright Brothers were nutjobs. They were nutjobs who had their own incorrect ideas of patent law. That created an obsessive secrecy that greatly hindered them. 25 years later, another American nutjob, Robert Goddard, similarly sabotaged his own work, which is why von Braun is more famous.

    Second, they had the US government as a competitor. Nothing can stifle innovation like having the government as a competitor.

    Nut jobs eh? I guess their legal counsel did not prevent them from shooting themselves in the foot. Just hope we have enough of those kind of nut jobs to technologically usher our society to the land of milk and honey 😉

    • #101
  12. Vicryl Contessa Thatcher
    Vicryl Contessa
    @VicrylContessa

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    Vicryl Contessa: Lest anyone think the homeless are harmless, I would invite you to read this, where the victim in question is my own sweet husband.

    I could not let this pass.

    1. Did he go after @1967mustangman for stealing his gig posing as the Geico caveman for tourist photos? That being said, if Taylor Swift told me to kill mustangman I would.

    2. Do you really want to be married to a man who can be chased down by a 43-year old vagrant named “Thicksten”?

    3. From the article:

    Thicksten’s bail was set at $277,500.

    @dougwatt, would that be cut by a factor of 500 had the perp. been an illegal alien?

    1. I’m glad you’re not talking to Taylor Swift. And I love his beard.

    2. Yes.

    3. I’m going to channel a Portland lefty to add some flavor: people are not illegal.

    • #102
  13. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    Vicryl Contessa (View Comment):
    And I love his beard.

    20 years from now he’s going to shave it off, revealing skin free from sun damage and making people think you’re his mom.

    • #103
  14. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    Vicryl Contessa (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    Vicryl Contessa: Lest anyone think the homeless are harmless, I would invite you to read this, where the victim in question is my own sweet husband.

    I could not let this pass.

    1. Did he go after @1967mustangman for stealing his gig posing as the Geico caveman for tourist photos? That being said, if Taylor Swift told me to kill mustangman I would.

    2. Do you really want to be married to a man who can be chased down by a 43-year old vagrant named “Thicksten”?

    3. From the article:

    Thicksten’s bail was set at $277,500.

    @dougwatt, would that be cut by a factor of 500 had the perp. been an illegal alien?

    1. I’m glad you’re not talking to Taylor Swift. And I love his beard.

    2. Yes.

    3. I’m going to channel a Portland lefty to add some flavor: people are not illegal.

    There was room in the back seat of my patrol car for everyone, regardless of race, color, or creed. You could have filmed an Ancestry.com commercial in the back seat of that car.

    • #104
  15. C. U. Douglas Coolidge
    C. U. Douglas
    @CUDouglas

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Now, now, Ricocheters, don’t be so mean. My wife and I have lived in Washington, California, Maine, Utah, Kentucky, and all over Oregon, north to south and a bit of the east. But of all the places we’ve lived, Portland is our favorite. We’ve lived here 12 years and plan to finish up here.

    We love Mt. Hood, Powell’s Bookstore, the walk along the Willamette, the weekly festivals in the summer at Waterfront Park, Forest Park (the nation’s largest urbane park in the U.S., with 80 miles of trails), Pioneer Square, the Yard House tavern, and most of the crazy people. We ignore the childish Left politics of City Hall.

    It’s home.

     

    This makes me happy.

    • #105
  16. barbara lydick Inactive
    barbara lydick
    @barbaralydick

    Columbo (View Comment):
    They are awesome candy (chocolate covered peanut butter fudge) and are scientifically proven to provide good luck.

    If I liked peanut butter I’d have ‘liked’ your comment.

    • #106
  17. C. U. Douglas Coolidge
    C. U. Douglas
    @CUDouglas

    Speaking of food, I found a reason to move back.

    • #107
  18. David Carroll Thatcher
    David Carroll
    @DavidCarroll

    Dayton is a bit of a blue collar town.  But you are not that far from Columbus.  And The Ohio State University.

    • #108
  19. Ray Kujawa Coolidge
    Ray Kujawa
    @RayKujawa

    The local rag in Seattle that went by the name The Stranger used to have a comic called “The Uptight Seattlelite.” From the sounds of it, he has moved to Portland. I didn’t think people could be so uptight about such ordinary things in life. I’m glad your nerves will be spared from extended living on the Left Coast. I believe it can only get worse.

    • #109
  20. Al French, sad sack Moderator
    Al French, sad sack
    @AlFrench

         Houses in Dayton are affordable, and the lots they’re built on are generally larger       than the standard 8,000-square-foot lot in the suburbs of Portland.  

    Many new suburban developments now have 4000 square foot lots.

    • #110
  21. Mole-eye Inactive
    Mole-eye
    @Moleeye

    Felicitations on your new home!

    I can relate.  While we’re still in California, we recently left LA for the Central Coast – the north end of San Luis Obispo County.  If this ain’t heaven, it’s mighty close!

    • #111
  22. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comm

    Nut jobs eh? I guess their legal counsel did not prevent them from shooting themselves in the foot. Just hope we have enough of those kind of nut jobs to technologically usher our society to the land of milk and honey 😉

    Yes we do. We have all the technological progress we can handle. We just need to make sure we don’t screw up the politics too badly. That’s the real trick. The technological progress is easy.

    • #112
  23. ctlaw Coolidge
    ctlaw
    @ctlaw

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    ctlaw (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    GLDIII (View Comment):
    The fine folks in Ohio take serious umbrage at the license plates from you Carolina boys about who really is the home to the first in flight….

    That’s because the Wright brothers just did up and down, in a straight line, at Kitty Hawk. They came home and developed true flying, e.g., being able to turn.

    You have no idea how difficult that engineering challenge initially was (cough*wing warping*cough) ….and how the patent fight over that and every other thing about controlled flight, delayed US development for about 10 years. Thus giving the stinking French the naming rights to most of the initial innovative aviation feature such as “fuselage”, “ailerons”, “empennage”, “canard”, “pitot tube”. One could argue that “stabilizer” of which we have vertical and horizontal versions on airplanes are also of French roots…

    Lawyers always the bane to progress.

    Lawyers were not the problem.

    The problems were two-fold.

    First, like many inventors, the Wright Brothers were nutjobs. They were nutjobs who had their own incorrect ideas of patent law. That created an obsessive secrecy that greatly hindered them. 25 years later, another American nutjob, Robert Goddard, similarly sabotaged his own work, which is why von Braun is more famous.

    Second, they had the US government as a competitor. Nothing can stifle innovation like having the government as a competitor.

    Nut jobs eh? I guess their legal counsel did not prevent them from shooting themselves in the foot. Just hope we have enough of those kind of nut jobs to technologically usher our society to the land of milk and honey 😉

    The whole point is their nuttiness hinders them from further advancing the technology. 

    • #113
  24. Whistle Pig Member
    Whistle Pig
    @

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Whistle Pig (View Comment):

    Columbo (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Kephalithos (View Comment):

    Welcome to the Buckeye State!

    We’re not all nice.

    And we have a good sense of humor, which includes laughing at ourselves.

    The state tree is the Buckeye … which produces a “hairless nut without much value.”

    Welcome to O …. H …. I …. O!

    @judgemental is produced by a tree?

    I’m not hairless. Except for where it’s supposed to be, I’m shockingly hairy.

    All I have to go by is the avatar.  :-)

    • #114
  25. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    ctlaw (View Comment):
    The whole point is their nuttiness hinders them from further advancing the technology. 

    Which totally would have happened if we gave the Wright Brothers any political power. That would be like giving Lysenko political power. At the same time as Lysenko, there was an amazing geneticist advancing our knowledge of evolution by experimenting on foxes. The Russians were more than capable of making advances in science by socialist nuttiness held them back.

    • #115
  26. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Vicryl Contessa (View Comment):

    Bryan G. Stephens (View Comment):

    All I know is that just before crossing the border, there is a big water tank that has on it “Florence, Y’all” in Florence Kentucky. At that point, I have been on I75 for 6 hours headed north to Ohio. Cincinnati is not the South, even if WKRP was based on an Atlanta Radio Station.

    As God as my Witness.

    You know the story behind Florence Y’all, right?

    Yes. Got in trouble for advertising Florence Mall.

    • #116
  27. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Speaking of Candy:

    Grandpa’s Cheesebarn

    668 U.S. Hwy 250 E, Ashland, OH 44805 We always go when we visit family. Only a couple hours away! 

    • #117
  28. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    Al French, sad sack (View Comment):

    Houses in Dayton are affordable, and the lots they’re built on are generally larger than the standard 8,000-square-foot lot in the suburbs of Portland.

    Many new suburban developments now have 4000 square foot lots.

    Down heyah in South Carolina, we use “square feet” for houses and “acres” for lots.  Just sayin’ . . .

    • #118
  29. Chris Gregerson Member
    Chris Gregerson
    @ChrisGregerson

    I moved from Alexandria, VA, near Old Towne, to Leavenworth, KS for all the same reasons. My journey started on a visit to Boise, ID.  We were there for a long weekend then flew back to BWI. The difference in how people spoke to us was alarming, and eye opening. The final straw was the hour and a half it took me to drive 12 miles to dinner at 7 PM on a weekday night. Next day I told my boss it was time to go.

    • #119
  30. Suspira Member
    Suspira
    @Suspira

    Welcome to America! But, seriously, how can you drink kombucha? It’s ghastly.

    • #120
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