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An Open Letter to People Who Beat Dead Horses
Dear people who beat dead horses,
Please. Stop.
It’s inhumane!
Now, far be it from me to defend horses. I think they’re total jerks and probably deserve to be beaten to death, but no creature deserves to be beaten after death.
That horse is clearly not moving so why do you insist on continuing to take a bat after it?
I don’t understand your passion in sending the horse to the afterlife without a bone left intact. It’s just not right. Please stop trying to re-kill it, it’s already dead! You’re like a vulture, but instead of eating the corpse, you just keep beating it with a bat. Do you enjoy the squishing noises that spring up from every thwack? Are you trying to kill the flies that keep landing on it? What is going on in your head?!
This horse is no more! It is an ex-horse!
Please, I’m begging you, just step away from the horse.
Published in Group Writing
You have to prevent zombie horses somehow.
Is there a more serious topic lurking around here that I don’t recognize–some variety of NeverTrumpism, perhaps?
Nah. Something about using a Constitutional check and balance means committing a coup, and starting a civil war.
All nonsense, with the NFL playoffs going on.
I like New England over Jacksonville, and Minnesota over Philadelphia. While it would be great for Minnesota, Philadelphia or Jacksonville to win their first Super Bowl, I think New England will repeat.
There is one record that Bill Belichick does not have, consecutive winning seasons. Tom Landry has 20, and I think that Belichick has only 17. I never thought anyone would beat Landry’s record, but it looks like Belichick will.
Just intended to be satirical. :) It’s the Group Writing topic this month.
No seriousness allowed on this post!
Oh, good. That sounds wonderful!
One might also beat dead horses for purposes of meat tenderization.
Ewwww! What kind of heathen would eat horse meat??
A hungry one.
We should have a Constitutional Amendment to ban the beating of dead horses. What number would that be? The 25th?
Julie’s post is meant to be taken with equanimity.
Is that some kind of liquor?
Only if it’s the kind you pronounce li-core, instead of likker.
Dos Caballos Meurte Tequilla.
You have been missing the other posts! The 25th Amendment includes provisions for appointing a new Vice President, and removing a President by way of disability. The 26th Amendment allows 18 year olds to vote, and the 27th Amendment provides delays changes in the compensation of members of Congress until after the next election.
The 28th Amendment would read as follows:
Section 1. No person shall beat dead horses,
Section 2. Congress shall enact the provisions by which to determine when a horse is dead, what actions constitute beating said horse or horses, and the civil and criminal penalties thereto.
Section 3. This Amendment is effective only if it is ratified within seven years after submission to the several states.
Whereas the 67th Amendment protects you from having to testify on the grounds that your organs will be chopped into a patty.
I though the 67th was the one that allowed Arnold Swarzeneggar to run for president.
61st. I’ll admit I had to look it up.
You just wanted to use that graphic in a post, didn’t you, @juliesnapp?
This is indeed a conversation in our Group Writing Series under the January theme of “An Open Letter…” In February, our theme will be “We Need a Little Summer” where we will chase away the winter with tales of summers past. Or, summers future, if you have a time machine. The Schedule and Sign-Up Sheet is available here.
Speaking of that horse and amendments, I’m reminded of this:
Kurt Vonnegut’s “Harrison Bergeron” is always a great reminder that even if I don’t agree with much of what someone says, there is wisdom (and wit) to be mined from them. Until 2081, anyway.
I keep tellin’ myself it’s a donkey pinata at a birthday party, but myself isn’t quite believin’ it yet. Must be that mean-lookin’ batter…and the flies. Never seen flies around a pinata before. Sigh…it’s a dead horse, isn’t it, @juliesnapp?
French people
Is it OK to beat fake dead horses? And then move them?
In grad school, I saw these expired equines reupholstered and then re-flayed over and over again, until it was eventually revealed as the point of the exercise.
This is my kind of thread. The satisfaction I feel when the light finally goes off, I am complete this morning.
I canter quite say if I have ever seen a foaler post than this one. Perhaps Gallop could poll the membership and see if that’s the case. First, I think posts about horse are unsuitable for Ricochet, and probably a CoC violation right out of the gate. @juliesnapp, you really should rein yourself in, spur yourself on, groom your posts before publishing, and perhaps try to present a more stable appearance in the future.
Joust sayin’
Jockeying for the best post position, aren’t you?
Fetlock of good that would do at this point.
(Bravo! Though.)