Dear spider,

I know you have places to go. Perhaps my keyboard might be the shortest distance between two points. But, really, it’s not a safe place for you to walk. You see, many of us humans do what is known as touch typing. We don’t look at the keyboard while typing. We’re looking at the monitor where the letters appear. So, if you start walking across the keyboard, I may not see you the next time. Someone is going to get hurt, and someone else is going to get spider guts and broken chitin all over his fingers. And on the keyboard, too.

We don’t want that to happen, do we?

Now, spiders hunt insects, and I want you to keep hunting. After all, these cats are thoroughly useless as hunters. Sure, they’ll spot an insect, but will they kill it and eat it when they have fresh cow, seafood, and kibble? Not a chance. The insect might be wiggly in their mouths. So, I welcome you to my home, just not to my keyboard.

If you could just take a different route, perhaps a longer and more indirect one, I would appreciate it.

Thank you,

The human