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Quote of the Day: On Wheat and Chaff
Few American writers of the twentieth century so embody the quotably pungent and pithy in their prose as does Dorothy Rothschild Parker.
Google her name, and her often caustic, witty, gems just tumble out at you: “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”–“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people He gave it to.”– “She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B” (this from a review of a Katharine Hepburn performance in a Broadway play)–“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”–“What fresh hell is this?”–“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”–“I don’t care what anybody says about me as long as it isn’t true.”–“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.” And perhaps my favorite, which I can’t even include here (no, it’s not the one about the girls at the Yale prom).
But the DP quote I’ve chosen for today is one I particularly love. It comes, as did so much of her output, from a review of an item of cultural interest, in this case, a particular book:
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”*
So, come on. Haven’t we all come across at least one of these in our lives? Which weighty tomes, or bits of literary fluff, would you put on the list? Or better yet, fling across the room, if you had the chance (less effective, more expensive, and not as much fun with e-books, which don’t land with the same satisfying thump, it’s true).
I’ll start: Just about anything with Jack Kerouac’s name on it (self-indulgent and creepy). Lady Chatterley’s Lover (tedious, overwrought, and laughable purple prose). Fifty Shades of Grey (unbelievably badly written). Any Dan Brown book, starting with The DaVinci Code (Can’t keep them straight, one from the other. I suppose if you overlook the abysmal writing, the lack of character development, and the ludicrous and inconsistent plot twists, what’s left might be worth saving).
You can have my share of any and all of these.
So. Your turn. What are your least favorite novels of all time?
*In its most quoted form, it’s generally assumed to be a paraphrase of the sentiment of the review. No one has been able to find exactly these words, in exactly this order, in her writings. But, if she didn’t say it in precisely this way, she should have.
Published in General
Midge, Midge, @midge. Naughty. Although it is one of the most subtle James Bond references I’ve ever seen. And the original books by Ian Fleming are like reading a British 5o’s “Gentleman’s” magazine, speaking of bad popular fiction. Manly fighting! Manly drinking! Manly wham, bam, thank you Ma’am!
Yes, absolutely true. Her life was a complete train wreck.
Perhaps Dorothy Parker’s particular genius (accidentally on purpose or not) was exactly that she did not inflict upon us, page after thousand page, the misery of her own life, in tedious pleas for understanding and absolution of her mistakes, her occasional horribleness, and her overwhelming despair; or in an effort to portray herself as the saintly, hard-done-by, romantic and sensitive heroine in a world too brutish to understand her.
There’s a common theme through much of the comments on this thread, which is pithily expressed by @johnnydubya, above, “The novel is the work of a narcissistic, egotistical hack.” That exactly mirrors my view of most of the novels I’d “throw aside with great force.”
On the other hand, look at this little ditty, penned by Dorothy Parker:
Resumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
Hmmm, “Resumé.” Wonder who this is about? Who does one usually write a resumé about? Oh, oneself, right. Check.
Strikes me that if Dorothy Parker had been Jack Kerouac, or Flannery O’Connor, or Robert James Waller, or Dostoevsky, or D.H. Lawrence, or any other of the tortured “geniuses” mentioned here, she’d have taken seven or eight hundred pages to get across what she does in two simple sentences and eight short lines.
And she probably wouldn’t have ended it with the despairing, but ultimately life-affirming coda that she did that, no matter what, life is the best thing going and beats any alternative, hands down.
Yes, a sad and lonely figure. But mercifully brief in her writing about it.
That’s one of the reasons I love her.
Well, I see that yesterday (September 18) was the three-hundred-ninth birthday of another of my favorite literary figures, this one an eighteenth-century giant. I missed it. If I hadn’t, you’d have been treated to a completely different post including some of my favorites such as:
Happy slightly belated birthday, Doctor Johnson. A man who made light of his many infirmities and who, were he judged by nothing other than the number of his friends, and the esteem and love in which they held him, could have counted himself one of life’s great success stories even if he’d never picked up a pen. I’m so glad he did, though.
But NPR loved it. That means it HAS to be a good book.
Explains why it was such a cheap book.
I attempted to read The Corrections by Jonathan Franzel. By the fourth chapter I was wishing every character in the book to die. I am something of a compulsive finisher. But I could not finish that book.
My husband loved the Clive Cussler books. I refused to read them. Any author who thought it was cool to have a macho character named Dirk Pitt was too much for me. (I always wanted to spit after I said his name.) M.m.m.m… tough guy, macho, hero. Yep. Name your kid Dirk Pitt and he’ll be the toughest guy around.
Nope. Name him Aloysius if you want the toughest kid around.
Or Sue.
Written by Shel Silverstein, Super Genius.
Or explains why it was so bad?
And then there was the other one he wrote after getting tired of hearing how great the song was. It’s called “Father of a Boy Named Sue,” and is not safe for work or Ricochet.
I vote for this explanation.
For as much as I love to read (I used to joke I’d spend time reading the phone book* if nothing else was available), there’s been more than a few books I’d consider tossing. First on the list is probably Wuthering Heights. I was assigned it to read for some statewide academic competition in high school, and gave up about 1/4 the way through. I then turned to the Cliff Notes and found even these were too dull to finish. I ended up doing pretty well in the competition anyway. It was multiple choice and I just picked whatever option looked the most boring for the Bronte questions.
Game of Thrones is another popular book I’ve never finished. I’ve started it at least three times, and even though the writing is good I just can’t get into it.
*Kids these days may not know what a phone book is. If this is you, get off my lawn and google it.
SQ, the current series bearing Cussler’s imprint is about a turn-of-the-last-century agency detective, Isaac Bell. My brother introduced me – and they’re fun…DP is an homage to an American archetype: Check out “Sahara” Besides, these remind me of the enjoyment my Dad got from them: Pure escapism. :-)
Only if “frivolous” is taken as a synonym for “readable.”
Yes to Wuthering Heights. At least to the implication that there’s a sell-by date on it in terms of the reader’s age. I remember thinking it was quite romantic when I read it in the fourth grade while I was laid up with whooping cough.
Which got me thinking. Gone With the Wind. I haven’t read it for years. But I have to say, as far as the movie’s concerned, that every time I see parts of it on the TV, I am more and more annoyed with Scarlett, and really irritated that people can’t see who the true heroine is until she’s dead. I wouldn’t be surprised if the book took me the same way, if I re-read it now.
Which brings me to a startling conclusion: Maybe, just this once, there’s a silver lining to the clouds of political correctness sweeping the nation.
Thanks, Nanda, for the tip. I’ll . . . let Jerry know! ;-)
It’s an ill wind that blows no good.
My review of Wuthering Heights:
It’s a boring story about detestable people written in exquisite prose.
I like the song by Pat Benatar/Kate Bush.
I listen to The Kick Inside on a regular basis, but I had forgotten that Pat Benatar recorded the song. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I think I like Pat’s version better.
@arahant I just rented Bill and I look forward to watching it this weekend. Thanks for the suggestion!
Anything by John Grisham, mostly thinking here of The Street Lawyer. I keep misunderstanding who the hero is. I eventually start figuring out that the guys I am rooting for are supposed to be the bad guys – seriously? I am wondering who this whiney jerk who’s telling the story is and when is he going to get slapped around as he so richly deserves.
Every John Grisham novel ever written, condensed and improved.
Once upon a time there was a rich, handsome, successful lawyer.
Then he died.
The End.
I never read any of his stuff, but now I get why he’s so popular. Everybody loves a happy ending.
The improvement is that the lawyer dies.
Early.
And all the movies made out of those awful books. And the reviews of those movies. And so on, infinity. I do not understand Grisham fans. After reading one, why would you read another one?
Felt this way about “The English Patient” as a movie. Tedious story. Horrible people. Absolutely gorgeous movie.
That movie and A Passage to India put me to sleep every time I tried to watch them.