Necessary Diversion: #TweetsFromThe80s

July 9, 2016

I was at my Mom’s place last weekend rummaging through my teenage things and found some old tweets!

Can’t believe she kept them. Remember how modern Twitter seemed in the 1980s? That was when we changed our Twitter handles almost daily. #GoodTimes

Thought I would share a few:

@OPShorts Met a rad girl @Zuma. Like totally awesome! She gave me her party line number. It rang Musicland :( #Bogus

@HeatOfTheMoment Decision: Zeppelin’s In Through The Out Door or Styx Paradise Theater? Only have $5. #WentWithAsia

@TheWayItIsnt Cronkite also refers to Reagan’s SDI laser thing as ‘Star Wars’. Hey Walt: At least call it something from this decade – Missile Command. #DeepSpaceThoughts

@BetteDavisThighs Juan must really love Maria. That’s like his 4th radio dedication this week. #LoveSongsOnTheZzzzzzzzzzz

@FlockOfSpitballs RIP John Belushi. That is all. #ImAZitGetIt?

@MrHandsFeet Just saw Fast Times at Pacific Theaters in the mall they filmed Fast Times, where a character worked at same theater, where I was sitting, watching… #WigginOut

@DavidLeeSpandex DJ: Play less ‘Hello’ and more ‘Hot For Teacher’ #LionelRitchieMakesMeItchie

@CaughtBetweenTheMoon&NYC Found the Ringwalds home number in the White Pages. Just spoke with her Grandma who will pass on my message to Molly. #DONTUSETHEPHONEMOM!!!

@InTheFamilyJewels? Hands Across America. Gerbils in Gere #PagingPETA

@SeaBiscuitAndGravy The Titanic was found near Newfoundland. Sounds like the first place they should’ve looked. #IcebergLettuceAHead

@CherNotSoNobyl The most permanent feature of Russia’s socialistic economy are their temporary shortages. #CageyBee

@AbeFroman I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to… #TheyThinkHe’sARighteousDude

@MrFurleysAscot More like Three’s Slightly Amusing Misunderstandings #MeetAtRegalBeagle

@DebbieGibsonOrTiffany? Girl in my class wears Electric Youth perfume. If I wore Gene Simmons’ KISS cologne you think I got a shot? #NobodyPutsBabyInTheCorner

@HeresTheBeef Band-Aid, Live-Aid, and Farm-Aid are all Cool… ade. #FeedTheWorld

@1234Siskel&EbertsThumbwar Movie Review: Star Trek III – The Search For Pillow #TribbleMeThis

@JimBakkersAlibi Dear Penthouse Forum. You won’t believe this, but this really did happen to me. #YeahThatsTheTicket

@MilkBoneUnderwear Spuds MacKenzie learned to play guitar yet I can’t get past the first 3 notes of Jessie’s Girl. #DrinksFromBudBowl

@BeKindRewind Ghostbusters II was a pretty funny sequel. Glad they didn’t pander and replace them with an all female cast. #GhostWithTheMost

@AndLeonsGettingLarger Hulk Hogan played Thunderlips and doesn’t get the Oscar nod? Rigged. #WeBuiltThisCityOnRockyRoad

@ThatsInconceivable They’re called Compact Discs. Totally indestructible. Will never scratch. #HastaColumbiaRecords

@AwesomeKarioke My favorite was Milli… no, Vanilli… #BlameItOnTheLame

@Frajeeelay Deck the halls with boughs of horry. #OhFfffffudddgggee

@WeirdWeatherScience A guy named Doppler invented a better radar… to find his dopplerganger. #MaxHeadroomToldMe

@BackInTwoAndTwo Mooooon River…Thank you doc, ever serve time? #NeverGoingBackOnWoolery’sShow

Published in Humor

Tags: 1980s, Twitter

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12 ›

Inactive
BrentB67
@BrentB67

1:26 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Thanks. I actually get those jokes.

If I wasn’t feeling old before I am now.
- #1

Member
Dave Sussman
@DaveSussman

Post author

1:36 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

BrentB67:Thanks. I actually get those jokes.

If I wasn’t feeling old before I am now.

Ha. Tell me about it. It’s probably as good a time as any to get a few stupid jokes out there.
- #2

Thatcher
danys
@danys

1:41 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Oh, boy; I remember these, too.
- #3

Member
RightAngles
@RightAngles

1:51 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Hahaha Max Headroom! We thought he was so futuristic. I guess we’re all lucky Twitter didn’t come along till later
- #4

Inactive
BrentB67
@BrentB67

2:45 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

RightAngles:Hahaha Max Headroom! We thought he was so futuristic. I guess we’re all lucky Twitter didn’t come along till later

I need to Thank God more often that there was no such thing as cell phones with video cameras and YouTube in the late 70’s/early 80’s. I would probably just be eligible for parole.
- #5

Member
6foot2inhighheels
@6foot2inhighheels

2:49 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.
- #6

Member
RightAngles
@RightAngles

2:54 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

BrentB67:

RightAngles:Hahaha Max Headroom! We thought he was so futuristic. I guess we’re all lucky Twitter didn’t come along till later

I need to Thank God more often that there was no such thing as cell phones with video cameras and YouTube in the late 70’s/early 80’s. I would probably just be eligible for parole.

Just as I thank God every day there were no webcams.
- #7

Contributor
Titus Techera
@TitusTechera

3:07 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Hot for teacher is better than Hello. Also, less creepy…
- #8

Member
Dave Sussman
@DaveSussman

Post author

3:29 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

DC Mayor Marion Barry may not have been re-elected… Abscam would have gone viral and Gary Hart and Donna Rice may have had a sex tape.
- #9

Member
RightAngles
@RightAngles

3:33 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Dave Sussman:

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

DC Mayor Marion Barry may not have been re-elected… Abscam would have gone viral and Gary Hart and Donna Rice may have had a sex tape.

AND we might never have had a President Clinton. (May we never have another one)
- #10

Inactive
Brian McMenomy
@BrianMcMenomy

5:24 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Back then the Police mostly meant a really talented musical trio…
- #11

Member
Jimmy Carter
@JimmyCarter

5:50 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

@BrainySmurf Mom just told Me I have to find a “real” friend.

#ILoveYouTeddyRuxpin
- #12

Inactive
Randy Webster
@RandyWebster

6:23 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Hm. I quit paying attention even before the time of most of these jokes.
- #13

Inactive
Mate De
@MateDe

6:49 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Hahahaha these are great. I used to wear Electric Youth perfume lol

#tiffanywasahackdebbiealltheway
- #14

Contributor
Gary McVey
@GaryMcVey

6:55 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Excellent satire, Dave!
- #15

Member
Judge Mental
@JudgeMental

7:09 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

#OldEnoughToRemember
- #16

Member
Michael Minnott
@MichaelMinnott

10:35 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

I still fondly remember when music videos were a big deal. Not just on MTV, but local stations would have music video shows on after school. They had a certain cheesey charm to them.
- #17

Member
RightAngles
@RightAngles

11:08 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 8, 2016

Michael Minnott:I still fondly remember when music videos were a big deal. Not just on MTV, but local stations would have music video shows on after school. They had a certain cheesey charm to them.

I know! I can still remember the first time I saw one. We were at a northside bar in Chicago, and suddenly all the TV screens had Madonna singing one of her songs and acting it out! We said, “Wh-a-a-a? Did they make a movie out of it?”
- #18

Inactive
Randy Webster
@RandyWebster

3:18 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

I remember being at a friend’s house watching MTV when it first started. My opinion then was that the musicians made videos because their music wasn’t good enough to make it on its own. That part of my opinion hasn’t changed much over the years, but EVERYONE made them. Fortunately, I quit listening to pop music (or watching), and didn’t have to deal with it.
- #19

Member
Metalheaddoc
@Metalheaddoc

3:21 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

I remember staying up late on Saturdays to watch Headbangers Ball on MTV. Back when they actually had music videos instead stupid shows.
- #20

Inactive
Randy Webster
@RandyWebster

3:38 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

I don’t remember the author’s name, though I remember seeing the book. One of the first alt-history books. He wrote 3 or 4 in the series, I think. Michael Moorcock, maybe?
- #21

Coolidge
Patrickb63
@Patrickb63

5:59 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Randy Webster:

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

I don’t remember the author’s name, though I remember seeing the book. One of the first alt-history books. He wrote 3 or 4 in the series, I think. Michael Moorcock, maybe?

I think Harry Turtledove. I’ll look.

Edit: Yes-

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&channel=ipad_bm&q=The+Guns+of+the+South&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLQz9U3SDIoSFPiBLFM0suLDLQEHEtLMvKLQvKd8vOz_fNyKgHktyf2KQAAAA&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiRhIOLuObNAhVM6iYKHSM9AWgQxA0IUTAJ
- #22

Inactive
Randy Webster
@RandyWebster

9:11 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Patrickb63:

Randy Webster:

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

I don’t remember the author’s name, though I remember seeing the book. One of the first alt-history books. He wrote 3 or 4 in the series, I think. Michael Moorcock, maybe?

I think Harry Turtledove. I’ll look.

Edit: Yes-

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&channel=ipad_bm&q=The+Guns+of+the+South&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLQz9U3SDIoSFPiBLFM0suLDLQEHEtLMvKLQvKd8vOz_fNyKgHktyf2KQAAAA&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiRhIOLuObNAhVM6iYKHSM9AWgQxA0IUTAJ

I’m so old I don’t always remember that you can google anything.
- #23

Contributor
Titus Techera
@TitusTechera

9:12 AM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Randy Webster:

Patrickb63:

Randy Webster:

6foot2inhighheels:I once read a Sci-fu book called Guns of the South, where racists from the future armed Lee’s Army with modern guns to fight the North.

I wonder how cell phones and twitter would have changed the Reagan years.

I don’t remember the author’s name, though I remember seeing the book. One of the first alt-history books. He wrote 3 or 4 in the series, I think. Michael Moorcock, maybe?

I think Harry Turtledove. I’ll look.

Edit: Yes-

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&channel=ipad_bm&q=The+Guns+of+the+South&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLQz9U3SDIoSFPiBLFM0suLDLQEHEtLMvKLQvKd8vOz_fNyKgHktyf2KQAAAA&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiRhIOLuObNAhVM6iYKHSM9AWgQxA0IUTAJ

I’m so old I don’t always remember that you can google anything.

Best Ricochet line of the weekend, I feel sure-
- #24

Inactive
The Dowager Jojo
@TheDowagerJojo

1:38 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

This kind of thing always disorients me because it takes me a minute to realize the 80’s actually were…….a while ago.
- #25

Member
Ed G.
@EdG

1:43 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Titus Techera:Hot for teacher is better than Hello. Also, less creepy…

Don’t hate on Lionel Ritchie even if VH is obviously better in every way (whether with Dave or Sammy). Lionel was smooth and talented.
- #26

Thatcher
Dan Hanson
@DanHanson

1:43 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Hilarious!

@imtooold
- #27

Contributor
Titus Techera
@TitusTechera

1:44 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Ed G.:

Titus Techera:Hot for teacher is better than Hello. Also, less creepy…

Don’t hate on Lionel Ritchie even if VH is obviously better in every way (whether with Dave or Sammy). Lionel was smooth and talented.

Also, he made a video about sorta kinda stalking a blind chick?
- #28

Member
Ed G.
@EdG

1:46 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

RightAngles:

Michael Minnott:I still fondly remember when music videos were a big deal. Not just on MTV, but local stations would have music video shows on after school. They had a certain cheesey charm to them.

I know! I can still remember the first time I saw one. We were at a northside bar in Chicago, and suddenly all the TV screens had Madonna singing one of her songs and acting it out! We said, “Wh-a-a-a? Did they make a movie out of it?”

Video really did kill the radio star. Probably JR Ewing too.
- #29

Member
Ed G.
@EdG

1:47 PM EDT ⋅ Jul 9, 2016

Randy Webster:

[….] Michael Moorcock, maybe?

None for me, thanks. Makes me gag. And my name is Ed not Michael.
- #30

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