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Concealed Carry, A Woman’s Perspective
I’m not sure why it was that — when I moved back to Nashville after my two-year sojourn in New York — I suddenly became interested in guns. I grew-up knowing they were in the house, but it wasn’t until my mid-20s that I decided I needed to learn to protect myself. My dad had always offered to teach me how to shoot, and I finally took him up on it. When I went to the range for the first time, I was simultaneously intimidated and thrilled. And after that first real squeeze of the trigger… I was hooked!
I got my first gun — a Ruger LC9 — for Christmas that year and soon started the process of getting my concealed carry license. That was the easy part; figuring out how to actually carry concealed was the hard part. At the time, I didn’t know another woman who carried concealed, so I had to figure out on my own what worked and what didn’t, since the guys that worked at the gun store were about as helpful as titties on a boar hog. So, to save the other ladies of Ricochet some of the trouble I had to go through, here are the things that I’ve learned as a woman carrying concealed:
- The best gun to buy is the gun that you’ll actually carry everyday. I get a lot of flack from my bros at the gun store for carrying a Smith & Wesson Bodyguard .380 because “It’s too small,” “You need something with more stopping power,” “You’re going to hate shooting it,” and “That’s not a real gun.” All of these things may be true. I do hate shooting it, and I wish I could carry a larger caliber, but facts are facts: As a woman, I’m not built to accommodate a .45 caliber handgun. Women’s bodies are curvy (something you gents are thankful for), but this means that a gun sits differently against our waist and hip. But the biggest obstacle women face in on-body carry is our clothes. Oy! Women’s clothes are not meant to conceal a gun, so it’s for this reason that I carry different caliber pistols at different times of the year. When it’s sweater and coat weather, I’m all about carrying one of my 9mm guns; but, as soon as it turns to t-shirt and tank top weather, the .380 is coming out.
- Clothes are a woman’s best friend … and our worst enemy. Women’s clothes really aren’t meant to carry concealed: Our jeans have stretch in them that doesn’t support a heavy pistol, the pockets on our pants are virtually nonexistent, and our clothes are tighter and often made of thinner fabrics. However, because we have so much variety and possibilities in our wardrobes, carrying concealed is easier than many women think… just not as convenient. I’m a big believer in dressing like a normal person. You don’t have to wear cargo pants and baggy shirts in order to on-body carry. I dress what I call “pseudo hipster:” skinny jeans, ankle pants, and maxi dresses. I wear all these things, but I do have to make modifications to carry. As a result, cardigans are my best friend. Light little cardigans in summer, and drapey sweaters in winter. With some wardrobe modification I can carry almost every day.
- A low-profile holster is essential. Every guy I know raves and raves about the Cross Breed holsters. I have one like it, but it really doesn’t work for me. Because women’s clothing has more stretch and is generally lighter, bulky holsters “print” really easily. I discovered the (don’t laugh) Pin-Up Collection from Looper Law Enforcement. It’s an entire line of holsters designed especially for women. I have a couple different holster styles from them — including their equivalent of the Cross Breed — but the ultra low-profile kydex Betty style is my favorite. It has a heavy metal clip that doesn’t require a big belt, which makes it easy for me to adjust the kant. I can wear it with yoga pants, bike shorts under a sundress, maxi dress, or skirt. And it allows me to reposition the holster easily. There are other products out there targeted towards women’s concealed carry, and the Internet has a wealth of resources on the matter.
- Don’t let the guys at the gun store bully or intimidate you. The only time I’ve ever experienced blatant sexism was at the gun shop. I can’t tell you how many times when I asked to see a particular model of gun, the guy behind the counter would hand me the pink or Tiffany Blue one. I even had one guy say, with a knowing twinkle in his eye, “I’ll bet you like that pink handle, don’t you?” to which I replied, “No, not really. I don’t feel the need for my gun to demonstrate to the world that I have a vagina.” Many times, the guy were genuinely clueless as to why they were steering me in the wrong direction. “You could put this holster in your jeans pocket,” they’d say. “Um, no, I can’t,” I’d say back. Eventually, the guys saw that I was a good shot — and could take their teasing in stride — and even came to see how, as a woman, I carry differently than a man. You just have to suck it up, and show them you’re made of stronger stuff.
- Carry the same way everyday. There are lots of ways you can on-body carry: ankle, back, hip, appendix, bra, belly, thigh. Just pick one, and carry the same way everyday. Much of the purpose of training and practice are to create muscle memory, so that we can react without having to think in a stressful situation. Carrying in a different manner everyday will obliterate that muscle memory.
- Purse carry sounds great, but… no. I can remember maybe five times in the past two years that I’ve carried my gun in my purse. I’m pretty vehemently against purse carry, because the last thing you want to do when confronted with an attacker is have to dig through your Mary Poppins purse to find your gun. And when was the last time you cleaned out your purse? It’s filthy in there! You don’t want that junking up your gun. Yes, I realize there are concealed carry purses with special pockets reserved for your gun, but — come on! — they’re hideous! But my biggest reason for not liking purse carry is how distant we are from our purses and how easily they can be snatched. We set our purses down on counters, on the floor, in the back seat, and the grocery cart. Purses are easy to misplace and easy to get stolen.
- Learning to protect yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. Feminists are missing the boat when it comes to real female empowerment. You cannot rely on others to protect you at all times and — if you want something done — you have to do it yourself. The other day, I saw the story of a very pretty nurse and single mom in Seattle that had gone on a date with a guy from Match.com (we’re pretty sure Whiskey Sam’s alibi is tight), and he murdered her on their date. Carrying a gun can’t ensure that nothing bad will ever happen, but it gives you a fighting chance if it does.
For some illustration of how this works, I’ve posted some photographs and videos on the Members Feed.
Published in General, Group Writing
Duh! The secret one-world government which is wholly run by and devoted to cats. They came out briefly in ancient Egypt, but since then have usually been underground, manipulating things from behind the scenes with their little claws in everything, especially the catnip smuggling rings.
The final year of “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”, women staffers at headquarters wore a new uniform; a yellow blouse with prominent ID badge, a chic black pencil skirt, and a holster in the small of the back. Call it “Come Hither Carry”.
Oh, you!
Gary, Had an allure to it to say the least, shoe phones not so much in the spoofs. Oddly enough, ask where would a cross-dressing man hide a weapon ? Oh wait –
This how nerds relate to conceal and carry. Look at the Daredevil
Punisher: People who don’t knows hit about guns usually go for something shiny. You know, something with as… Fancy grip. There is alway the [REDACTED] who gets the big hand cannon that kicks like a mule and they’re too afraid to use it. But a….. 38 shows thought.
When I was in high school, this is how girls dressed—
Eat your hearts out, whippersnappers.
Great post, VC.
Great post. My wife will appreciate it. Even as a man, you need different holsters/guns for different situations.
I appreciate your reason for always carrying the same way every time, but I think it is OK to switch between 2 methods, and practice with both. Like you said it is better to have it then leave it at home. By using 2 methods I am able to have it more often.
I prefer to carry inside the pants on my hip, but if I am in a dress shirt, & dress slacks situation where I won’t be wearing a jacket, it goes inside the shirt under my arm with a holster that is best described as a bra, without cups, and a holster under the arm. It is harder to access than the hip carry, but much easier to access than if it were at home.
Really great post, Vicryl. 10 out of 10. Check out Melody Lauer’s work with Lucky Gunner, it might also be of interest to you and the other women at R> who have a gun for personal protection.
My wife found the best way for her to carry every day is purse carry. I found a purse she loves from Galco, her Springfield XD S9 fits securely and accessibly and she has become very proficient in drawing from it.
It’s not always simple for men. The worst for me is business casual. A suit jacket offers lots of options, as does casual (when I can wear my shirt untucked). But if the office is kept warm and the jacket (or sweater) might have to come off, the options are limited. Ankle carry is really suboptimal. I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of pocket carry, the downsides notwithstanding.
“I’m not sure why it was that — when I moved back to Nashville after my two-year sojourn in New York — I suddenly became interested in guns.”
You need to work on your reflexes.
Not so bad. My normal daily dress is some version of business casual, often with slacks or khakis, dress shirt tucked in. IWB holster with “tuckable” clips. Milt Sparks VM II with the clips is a great holster. Also TT Gunleather IWB holsters. Those worn with the Milt Sparks clips is what I use every day.
Forget ankle carry.
I have a friend that purse carries, and it works for her. I’m still not crazy about it, but if it means you’ll carry every day, go for it!
I was just talking to someone at the Atlanta meet up last night who uses a shoulder holster under his button-down shirt to carry with business casual dress. No one noticed!
I did an article for Shooting Illustrated awhile ago on office concealed carry. If you can, go with pocket carry.
For men maybe. Women, not so much. Our clothes just really don’t allow for it. I know several guys that pocket carry and it works great for them.
That would be me. This holster. Wore it to dinner Friday night with my Colt .45 Officer’s ACP under a button-down shirt. No one seemed to notice.
Didn’t wear it Saturday because I spent the morning on the Georgia Tech Campus. And yes, I’ve very annoyed that my Governor vetoed the campus carry bill.
So if we ever meet I’m going to have to frisk you.
VICRYL,
Nicely written. BTW, seems you have item #4 under control.
Interesting to hear it from a female perspective. Everyone has to figure this stuff out when they start carrying and it takes time to find what works.
I have a few holsters lying around that I’ll probably never use again because I thought it’d help with conceal carry and eventually found something better.
I don’t know how to respond to that without violating the CoC…?
Maybe it was just a shot across the bow.
Have one, don’t like it. Modified it extensively after I got it. Concealment Solutions makes much better holsters.
My wife has one of theirs too. I’ve met Mrs. Looper at an NRA show, she knows her stuff very well, and learned holster design from her father (a leather worker). She made her early mark with the Flashbang holster, even happily demoing it while pregnant.
Computer shops too. I’ve had to accompany my sisters and my wife on buying trips to both types of stores, just so the male clerks would lay off.
One nearby shop has several female clerks, though, and that has paid dividends on the customer service side.
Here is a good vid I first saw a number of years ago.
My friend Melody Lauer has some good tips here as well. I don’t appendix-carry, but I can see how the architecture of what’s involved might make it a better option for women than men.