Here’s What You Are Expected to Applaud Today

 

Apple has pulled all Civil War games from the App Store, because history is a macro-aggression. The description of the games is as horrifying as you’d expect:

Ultimate General: Gettysburg is a Tactical Battle Simulator that allows you to lead thousands of soldiers in the famous Battle of Gettysburg as commander of either the Union or Confederate army.

And there’s the problem. So the game has been pulled from the App Store. Also gone: this utter moral catastrophe.

Join General Alexander, loyal follower of Abe Lincoln, for a Civil War reenactment. Search original battlefields for clues and letters left by members of a secret society. These individuals hid millions of dollars in gold, cash, and coin. Scour over 20 hidden object levels while advancing through time from the Battle of Fort Sumter (1861) to Lee’s surrender at Appotomattox (1865). Cross rivers and grassy knolls to unearth Hidden Mysteries of the Civil War.

It’s gone. It had a picture of — well, you know: The F word. Civil War 1862 is gone as well, and good riddance!

The game gives a unique wargaming experience on iPhone and iPad and includes 14 historical battles from the American Civil War in 1862, thirteen of which can be played as either side.

We can worry about the people who would want to play on the wrong side, but it’s better just to ensure that they can’t.

I don’t think we’ve seen a moral panic this idiotic since Frederick Wertham was finding hidden pictures of female genitals in the musculature of superheroes.

BTW, this is currently available on the iTunes store.

dukesBut not, you suspect, for long. This, however, is assured a long, long life.

ussr

It has an in-app purchase that lets you enable your “repression” settings. It costs 99 cents.

Published in Culture, General
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  1. Matede Inactive
    Matede
    @MateDe

    Apparently Mattel is removing the stars and bars from the General Lee toy car from the Dukes of Hazzard. Which is particularly dumb because then it ceases to be the General Lee and is now just an Mini model of an orange 1969 dodge charger. We have gone into crazy territory that I don’t know if there is any precedence for.

    • #31
  2. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    We really need an updated version of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Salem on the Hudson and Salem on the Potomac.

    Seawriter

    • #32
  3. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Seawriter:We really need an updated version of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Salem on the Hudson and Salem on the Potomac.

    Seawriter

    Except that The Crucible is always taught as a parable of how wrong anti-communists were.  The Left is incapable of ever seeing its own hypocrisy.

    • #33
  4. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    skipsul:

    Seawriter:We really need an updated version of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. Salem on the Hudson and Salem on the Potomac.

    Seawriter

    Except that The Crucible is always taught as a parable of how wrong anti-communists were. The Left is incapable of ever seeing its own hypocrisy.

    Updated version.

    Seawriter

    • #34
  5. Dex Quire Inactive
    Dex Quire
    @DexQuire

    Seawriter – what an impressive body of work – I look forward to plunging in!

    I can’t believe Amazon would to this to your book…depressing…PC isn’t fun anymore…not even to make fun of….

    • #35
  6. Hugh Inactive
    Hugh
    @Hugh

    ach! its the dawning of a new Reich. What a world we live in.

    Come soon Lord.

    • #36
  7. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    dixie

    They can have my copy of Dixie when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

    • #37
  8. HeartofAmerica Inactive
    HeartofAmerica
    @HeartofAmerica

    My son sells historically-themed apparel, mugs, photos, etc. on Zazzle. About 20% of his catalog is Civil War related. Today they removed the search capability for all civil war items. The items remain in his catalog but you can’t look for them.

    • #38
  9. Ricochet Member
    Ricochet
    @EustaceCScrubb

    Let’s just say the first two centuries of the country didn’t happen and move along.

    • #39
  10. Dex Quire Inactive
    Dex Quire
    @DexQuire

    Does anyone at Ricochet remember the “Kommunists for Kerry” website, circa 2003/4? They were completely hilarious staging mock super-commie ‘rallies’ for John Kerry complete with Red Guard-style parade choreography with sweeping flag (hammer & sickle of course) drills. Most hard-core leftists didn’t get the joke. They would write in the comments accompanying the pictures things like: ‘Hey, shouldn’t we tone this down a bit?’ Or, nervously, ‘Ha, these guys are really dedicated,’ etc.

    Someone suggested conservatives go after Che T-shirts but the left is so obtuse…they wouldn’t understand….plus they don’t read books…they’re not big on thinking; reacting, well, that’s another story…

    • #40
  11. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    Percival:dixie

    They can have my copy of Dixie when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

    An SPI game.  Wow. You are really dating yourself. In the chronological sense of dating – not the multiple-personality sense, that is.

    Seawriter

    • #41
  12. Miffed White Male Member
    Miffed White Male
    @MiffedWhiteMale

    Seawriter:

    Percival:dixie

    They can have my copy of Dixie when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

    An SPI game. Wow. You are really dating yourself.

    Seawriter

    Well, if he was playing wargames when that was published, it’s unlikely anyone else would date him.  (I have a stack of about 20 SPI games in my closet).

    • #42
  13. user_348483 Coolidge
    user_348483
    @EHerring

    Has PETA pushed to have Angry Birds pulled?

    • #43
  14. Pencilvania Inactive
    Pencilvania
    @Pencilvania

    Sounds like someone could make some money starting up an ecommerce site for all these banned items. Maybe call it RobertELeeBay.

    • #44
  15. tbeck Inactive
    tbeck
    @Dorothea

    James Lileks:Apple has pulled all Civil War games from the App Store, because history is a macro-aggression. The description of the games is as horrifying as you’d expect:

    Ultimate General: Gettysburg is a Tactical Battle Simulator that allows you to lead thousands of soldiers in the famous Battle of Gettysburg as commander of either the Union or Confederate army.

    And there’s the problem. So the game has been pulled from the App Store. Also gone: this utter moral catastrophe.

    Join General Alexander, loyal follower of Abe Lincoln, for a Civil War reenactment. Search original battlefields for clues and letters left by members of a secret society. These individuals hid millions of dollars in gold, cash, and coin. Scour over 20 hidden object levels while advancing through time from the Battle of Fort Sumter (1861) to Lee’s surrender at Appotomattox (1865). Cross rivers and grassy knolls to unearth Hidden Mysteries of the Civil War.

    It’s gone. It had a picture of — well, you know: The F word. Civil War 1862 is gone as well, and good riddance!

    The game gives a unique wargaming experience on iPhone and iPad and includes 14 historical battles from the American Civil War in 1862, thirteen of which can be played as either side.

    We can worry about the people who would want to play on the wrong side, but it’s better just to ensure that they can’t.

    I don’t think we’ve seen a moral panic this idiotic since Frederick Wertham was finding hidden pictures of female genitals in the musculature of superheroes.

    BTW, this is currently available on the iTunes store.

    dukesBut not, you suspect, for long. This, however, is assured a long, long life.

    ussr

    It has an in-app purchase that lets you enable your “repression” settings. It costs 99 cents.

    All this recently would appear to be a “micro/macro-totalitarian” move. Meanwhile, let us remember the actual people that died in Charleston, the people that sat with their killer for an hour, and whose children ask us to forgive him.

    • #45
  16. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    I’m going to demand they pull all WW2 games that use the Soviet Hammer and Sickle or a Red Star.  My family personally suffered from Soviet oppression and millions of Ukrainians were murdered under those symbols.

    • #46
  17. Douglas Inactive
    Douglas
    @Douglas

    anonymous:There is something disturbing about observing a superpower with more than 4500 nuclear weapons going completely insane.

    Did you see what they did to James O’Keefe yesterday?

    I’ve been telling people to get out since the 1990s. I fear it will soon be too late.

    Where’s there to go? Switzerland is too small to take us all. Australia and Canada are infected with the same madness we are. No way Chile, Brazil, or Argentina lets a bunch of Anglos move in, and besides, they’re Chile, Brazil, and Argentina.

    There’s no place to go.

    • #47
  18. Asquared Inactive
    Asquared
    @ASquared

    Asquared:

    OK. I just searched on Gettysburg in the App store on my phone and found one Gettysburg game titled “Cannon Shooter USA:Battle of Gettysburg” Downloadable for free.

    Maybe the publisher pulled the games above, not Apple or maybe Apple hasn’t found them all yet.

    I searched for “Civil War Games” and the game above was the only game in the search results.

    Apple must have found this game, because it is no longer available in the App store.

    I did another search on “Civil War” and found one game that wasn’t there the other day titled “Civil War:1863” which is presumably related to the “Civil War: 1862” from James’s original post. However, the confederate flag appears to be stripped from the game and replaced with a flag of crossed swords to represent the confederacy. (I say appears because I haven’t downloaded the game yet.)

    • #48
  19. user_348483 Coolidge
    user_348483
    @EHerring

    This Apple has worms.

    • #49
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