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Marco Rubio’s Boat vs. John Kerry’s Boat
Marco Rubio once bought a fishing boat and the New York Times is on the case. Fresh from their scoop that the Florida senator had four (FOUR!) speeding tickets in the past two decades, the Gray Lady has revealed his shocking financial record.
“For years, Senator Marco Rubio struggled under the weight of student debt, mortgages and an extra loan against the value of his home totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars.” (Boo, poor people! — ed.) “But in 2012, financial salvation seemed to have arrived: A publisher paid him $800,000 to write a book about growing up as the son of Cuban immigrants.” (Boo, rich people! — ed.)
And what did Mr. Rubio do with his dirty, filthy publishing fortune? He bought a BOAT. And not just any kind of boat, but a “luxury speedboat.”
[H]e splurged on an extravagant purchase: $80,000 for a luxury speedboat, state records show. At the time, Mr. Rubio confided to a friend that it was a potentially inadvisable outlay that he could not resist. The 24-foot boat, he said, fulfilled a dream.
Twenty-four feet of White Hispanic privilege. So what if Sen. Barack Obama got a book advance of $1.9 million and Hillary Clinton got $14 million? They didn’t go frittering away their well-deserved windfalls on frivolous aquatic transportation.
To prove that Rubio is an out-of-touch nouveau riche spendthrift, I have compared his opulence to that of an everyman, salt-of-the-earth recent Democratic presidential candidate.
| John Kerry’s Humble Yacht | Marco Rubio’s “Luxury Speedboat” |
 |
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| Friendship 75 | Edgewater 245cc Deep-V Center Console |
| Length: 75.95 ft. | Length: 24.5 ft. |
| Beam (max): 19.08 ft. | Beam (max): 8.5 ft. |
| Displacement: 108,676 lbs. | Displacement: 3,500 lbs. |
| 3 sails | 0 sails |
| Harbored in Rhode Island to avoid taxes | Located in Florida according to state tax records |
| Made in New Zealand | Made in United States |
| “She is the largest size boat confidently handled by two, yet sacrifices nothing towards interior volume and finish which are unmistakably the essence of luxury living.” | “Safety-minded family boaters and avid anglers will love this boat’s deep v hull, perfect for those choppy seas.” |
 |
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| $7,000,000 list price | $80,000 list price |
And those fat-cat Republicans think they can win over long-suffering middle class voters. Tsk, tsk.
I’m glad no one’s getting beheaded in the Middle East so we can finally turn our attentions to this pressing boat issue.
Both of these stories raise my appraisal of Rubio as a candidate. He was already pretty high on my list but is now near the top.
Also, I think he must have been at the top in the NYT estimation since he is the first, I think, to receive their attack journalism treatment. If the dog on the roof story hadn’t been effective against Romney I would say this kind of attack could only backfire. That is only true as pertains to voters who think for themselves, unfortunately not the majority IMHO.
At what point does it become accepted wisdom by the majority of America that the NYT has jumped the shark and has zero credibility any longer? In the light of this and countless other similar fables, why would anyone ever believe anything the paper prints? When will even the MSM finally be embarrassed to quote the NYT? Really – it’s kinda sad when you think about it. Their famed motto should be replaced with “All the news we can invent.”
Decades ago, Mad Magazine (or National Lampoon?) was probably the first to parody the motto as “All the news that fits we print.”
I can’t wait for tomorrow’s exciting revelation. Rumor has it that Rubio more than once didn’t close the cap on the toothpaste. He is also alleged to often not get his dirty socks fully into the clothes hamper, just sorta hanging on the edge. How could we possibly let this man lead the free world?
Don’t forget that of the 4 summonses over 18 years, two were dismissed. So, it’s 2 violations over 18 years, or if you prefer, 1 violation over 17 years.
Concretevol, you beat me to it; I was going to point out that the NYT thinks an F-150 is an “SUV” and a center-console fishing boat is a “luxury speedboat”. You just cannot make this stuff up.
If Rubio got the vote of every person who owns a pickup truck and a fishing boat and who has had a traffic violation during the last 17 years, he would do quite well.
Hillary will do well among the chauffeured, yacht-riding, private-jet-flying, family-foundation-running demographic.
Do you have a date for that? I’m curious as to whether it was before or after Herman Dinsmore’s book, All the News That Fits, which I got in 1969 or whenever it was that it was offered by the Conservative Book Club.
More future NYT cover stories about Rubio:
“Rubio failed to drag trash to curb, called Waste Management for ‘extra’ service”
“Mrs. Rubio breeds Yorkshire Terriers without proper licensing”
“Rubio children left late at school, inconveniencing teachers”
“Rubio wastes money on extended warranties”
“Rubio fails to safeguard purchases with extended warranties”
“Rubio skips Senate votes for child’s 8th grade ‘graduation’ ceremony”
“‘Premium Unleaded’ too expensive? Not for Marco Rubio.”
Yes, we are truly letting a monster into office.
Sorry, TR. It’s just a vague memory of a NYT parody. Not even certain it was Mad, but they seem to get most mentions on Google as the source. I probably stopped reading Mad about the time I began college, so that would likely place it before 1963.
Hillary could buy three of Rubio’s boats by making one speech, and still have enough money left over to buy a car.
Spending 10% of an $800k book payment doesn’t sound like an outrageous splurge. The boat is something he’d wanted for a long time and he earned the price of it ten times over.
How did John Kerry “earn” the price of his yacht? Oh right, he married into money; par for the course for aristocrats. We little people have to earn our luxuries.
A few years ago Mickey Kaus suggested that most of our complaints about the Times would be taken care of if they were just honest and changed their motto to “A Crusading Liberal Newspaper”.
Leaked: Tomorrow’s above-the-fold photo of the latest Rubio transgression.
I wonder what the accounting for the other 80% of that payment would look like.
Presumably, taxes would have eaten almost half.
If he paid extra for delivery and assembly, he’s done.
Dang nabit George you beat me to removing the mattress label offense… To much work today for piling on in Ricoland
Re. #5 I don’t think you have priced “ludicrously fast cars” lately. US built Corvettes are around $65 to 70,000. With the really fast ones going for over $100,000. Oh, and RV’s (class A and C’s) are usually over $100,000. Top of the line Class A’s can be over $1,000,000. Good luck fishing Mark.
The NYT also reported that the Rubio’s had THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOUSE in their neighborhood. In the fine print it is valued around $500,000 which is equal to two Hillary (in no ways tired) Clinton speeches or one Bill (pediphile island) Clinton speech. Rubio is definitely out of touch with Hillary’s everyday Americans!
Well, I was perhaps being a little unfair by including the more fiscally conservative second-hand market. I recently bought a TVR Chimaera in really good condition (and 63K miles) for £9,000 ($14,000). Estimates vary, but it does 0-60 in about 4.7 seconds. The 5 litre version (for a little more money) does it in about 4.1. I’d say the 5 litre version is definitely on the borders of being “ludicrously fast”, although not as quick as the Corvette Z06.
Incidentally it was a bit of a splurge for me to buy such an impractical car (especially since they’re known to need a lot of looking after), but I took the view that, hell, what’s life for if you can’t enjoy yourself sometimes? This seems to be what Rubio was thinking, and I have to like the guy for it. Sadly I won’t have an opportunity to vote for him though, being English.
Oh, give it a try. We’ve got plenty of noncitizen voters.
Wait until the PETA folks realize it’s a fishing boat, not a “luxury speedboat”. Then the charge will become “Marco Rubio’s sea animal killing machine”.
Marco Rubio hates fish!
Then the press will look to see if Rubio ever strapped his aquarium to the roof of his car . . .
I’ll make you a deal: if you can get Harry’s Shave razors delivered to England, I’ll come and vote for [insert Republican nominee here] ;)
They do have that factory in Germany. Perhaps they’ll deliver them personally one day.
Hitler never managed it.
If at first . . .
I’d say Rubio’s boat was a better investment than the NYT’s purchase of the Boston Globe for $1.1 Billion!! Sold for $70 million.
But to be honest I don’t think Hitler is the threat that he was.
He may still be alive. But don’t tell anonymous.
Dude really payed 80 grand for that motor boat?
Kerry could generously unburden Rubio of his boat with the money he saves in excise tax!