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Kamala Harris Explains World War II To Canadian Parliament
World War Two was… a war, right? (Cackle.) On one side was England, the United States and Russia. Only then Russia was called the “Soviet Union.” On the other side was Germany and Japan. Oh, and Italy (cackle). Love Italian food. Love it. (Cackle.) Anyway, some countries like Ukraine were caught in the middle. Some Ukrainians sided with Russia and some Ukrainians sided with Germany. The Russians were communists and the Germans were fascists (cackle). So it was sort of like choosing between fat or carbs, amirite? (Cackle.)
So anyway, we, in partnership with Canada, took the side of fat. I mean carbs! No wait… I’m getting my analogy all mixed up here! (Cackle).
Anyway, after the war, lots of people were displaced. All mixed up like a salad, okay? Some Germans moved to Argentina. That’s in South America. And some Ukrainians moved to Canada. Canada is your country that I’m talking to now that has healthcare. So continuing with this theme, some of the people who moved to Argentina did very bad things during the war: that’s why they were in Argentina. Kind of laying low. (Cackle.) And some of the people who moved to Canada did bad things during the war, too. Some of the people who moved to Canada had helped the people who had moved to Argentina.
Sometimes, the people in Argentina get found out and sent to Holland. The Old Country! (Cackle.) And in Holland, a judge tells the people from Argentina how bad they were during the war. It’s kind of like having lots and lots of unpaid parking tickets. And then the person from Argentina has to go to jail. A jail is a big place with lots of bad people. That is why to this day, there are lots of people from Argentina in Dutch jails. (Dutch is another word for Holland.)
So my takeaway from all this… or your takeaway, rather… If there’s a takeaway – and I do have one! (cackle) – it is this: thank you for your time.
Published in Humor
What, no Venn diagram?
I need a Venn generator!
Give Kamala a crayon and she will draw one.
You had me going there for a minute until Kamala says “Dutch is another name for Holland”. I really doubt that she knows that.
But she’s awesome!
David, you ought to send this to Estee as a script – you two would make a great team.
We really shouldn’t make fun of the person who is just a (faint) heartbeat from being our president. Truly, a dangerous situation.
It’s a toss-up which one of them would be better.
She is like a bad crash on the interstate. You KNOW you should not rubber neck but you just can’t help it. Afterwards the regret hits you like a semi. I know I shouldn’t listen to her but I can’t help it! Thank you David for making me laugh.
She’s has her own crayons, unless Joe’s eaten them again.
It’s irrelevant which of them would be better.
That, too.
David. Nicely played sir. It was so realistic I wasn’t sure whether it was a transcription or satire. Well almost not sure. Then the dead give-away: “cackle” It had to be satire because an official transcription in this administration would have spelled it with 2 “k”s and only one “c”. As Holmes would say before dinner, it was alimentary sir!
Thank you – and no AI or nuthin’!
Glad you enjoyed it, Bunsen – and thank you.
One heartbeat away. [EDIT: Sorry, JM already made this point in #7.]
If she doesn’t eat it . . .
I’m putting $20 on “up her nose” in the pool.