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I’m Trying to Clear My Head with Exercise. It’s Not Working.
I don’t watch TV. I’m bothered by the fast montages, flashing images, and intrusive sounds. I can’t concentrate on a movie unless I really like it – my mind jumps around too much. TV news shows insult me – they all sound like they’re selling something, instead of telling me what happened. I can’t get interested in reality TV – I can’t bring myself to care what color tile some lady chooses for her backsplash. And so on and so on. My wife enjoys TV. It relaxes her. But I’ve tried, and I just can’t.
For the first time in over 15 years, I actually have time to breathe. So I joined a gym (Planet Fitness), because I feel horrible all the time, and I need to get in shape. When I’m on the treadmill, there is a bank of televisions 50 feet across. All tuned to different stations, to distract us from our boring exercise. Help pass the time. But for me, it makes it so much worse. I can’t even watch one program at home, because my mind jumps around too much. Imagine me watching several programs at once, while surrounded by other stimulation like various people exercising and interacting – imagine what all that does to my restless mind.
Allow me to share with you a rough approximation of 15 minutes of my morning today, while I was on the treadmill:
TV #4 – FOX News – Beautiful woman talking about Ukraine
Me, thinking to myself: The longer Russia has troops in Europe, the greater chance that something horrible is going to happen. I can’t even tell who the good guys are, because they – golly, she is really, really beautiful. Wow.
TV #2 – CNN – Interview with Stacy Abrams
Me: What kind of world cares what she thinks about anything? She’s one of the best young faces of the Democrat party. Imagine that.
Old guy on stationary recumbent bicycle:
Me: I don’t think he’s moved since I’ve been here. I wonder if I should check a pulse. Oh wait – he just looked at that girl’s butt. I guess he’s ok.
TV #4 – FOX News – Advertisement for My Pillow
Me: I can demonstrate my love of God and country by buying a pair of slippers. Golly, things are getting weird…
70-year-old woman with fake tan, fake boobs, fake teeth, with full sleeve tattoo on left arm, wearing revealing Spandex outfit, on pec deck:
Me: Now there is a very interesting person. Or maybe not.
TV #7: News break on some channel I don’t recognize
Me: So China is rehearsing an invasion of Taiwan so everybody can see. Holy crap. That’s more dangerous than Russia and Ukraine. I think. Oh, there’s Biden giving a speech about it. That should help.
TV #4: FOX News – Advertisement for memory aid nutritional supplement
Me: So somebody decided to make money by taking advantage of the fears of the sick and the old. Especially those who aren’t as sharp as they used to be. And then that marketing genius goes home and goes to sleep that night. How does that work?
TV #2 – CNN – Interview with Paul Krugman
Me: If I was wrong about medicine as much as he is wrong about economics, I wonder how many people I would have killed by now? Of course, I can only kill one person at a time. The policies that he promotes kill millions. How does he sleep at night? I wonder if he knows the memory aid marketing guy?
TV #3 – HGTV
Me: So the homebuyer runs a non-profit for disadvantaged kids. That’s nice. So what’s he doing looking at a million-dollar house? Does he sell cocaine on the side or something?
TV #4 – FOX News
Me: Holy Toledo. This reporter is even more beautiful than the last one. Where do they find these girls?
TV #2 – CNN – Footage of Jan. 6 protestors
Me: I wonder how long they can keep this as a lead story? I wonder if it will have the impact they hope for? The world is blowing up under Democrat leadership, so I guess they have nothing else to talk about. Why not try, I suppose…
TV #9 – golf tournament
Me: I wonder how much water they use per month to keep the grass that green?
Pretty girl walks by:
Me: Wow. I can see why that old guy looked at her butt. At least his eyesight is ok.
TV #3 – HGTV – Carpenter cries as he listens to homebuyer talk about his disadvantaged kids.
Me: He’s a better actor than Kevin Costner.
TV #2 – CNN – Picture of Pete Buttigieg smiling at young black girl while they both wear yellow hard hats in front of a small trackhoe
Me: He’s also a better actor than Kevin Costner. I suppose that’s not a terribly select group.
TV #4 – FOX News – Gorgeous reporter concludes story about economic collapse, and hands off to an even more gorgeous on-the-scene reporter wearing a knock-out tight yellow dress while she eats barbeque at a county fair.
Me: You know, I think I’ve had enough.
So after just 15 minutes on the treadmill, I go home. My wife sees me and says, “It’s so great that you’re going to the gym! It’ll be good for you to get back in shape. You’ll feel better.”
Me: “Yeah, I hope so.”
Wife: “And it will help you clear your head.”
Me: “No. Heavens no. Absolutely not. It won’t do that. My head is spinning. I need a drink. You just can’t imagine…”
Wife: “My goodness – what happened at the gym?”
Me: “It’s a really, really, really long story.”
Wife: “You were there for 15 minutes.”
Me: “You just can’t imagine…”
Published in General
The secret to not getting depressed if you stop walking, is to never start.
Seeking re-election to the Penn Township Board (St Joe county, Indiana).
Great! I don’t know Indiana, but I have friends who just moved to Fort Wayne; it doesn’t look like they’ll be able to vote for you. Darn!
How to tell if you should not belong to a gym:
There are snacks in your gym bag.
You drive around the lot for a few minutes looking for an open spot near the entrance.
Your gym shorts resemble Larry Bird’s game day shorts.
Your gym shirt has some holes in it but the cotton is so comfy.
You have never purchased a gym outfit at Dicks.
You’ve refused to enter a Dicks since the day you heard they stopped selling guns and ammo.
You once had home gym equipment, but sold it at a yard sale. (Like new!)
You have gym socks in your sock drawer that pull up over your calves.
The above gym socks fall down when you wear them.
Etc.
I’m another who finds exercise for its own sake boring. The only form that has worked for me consistently is classes, mostly Zumba and yoga. No TVs, an instructor to follow the moves and ask questions, and the social element. I’ve made friends in any class I’ve attended regularly.
I’ve also had a personal trainer, but that’s an expensive option. It was great for pushing me past my comfort level, bit by bit.
Actually this might be an option for Doc, at least for a part of his sessions. When I started to exercise again after chemo, I worked with a personal trainer who was helpful on so many levels: encouragement, friendship, guidance, types of exercises to get me going. I worked with her one out of three days per week and it was great. We just did it for several weeks and then she moved away–she’d given me a heads-up (which worked out great for both of us).
Edit: the only cautionary note I would add is that for people who like to visit (as I watch others working with trainers), they will waste a lot of time just chatting. It’s amazing how easy it is to do that. I’m a driven person when it comes to the gym (since I’m often there with my husband and friend), so I don’t mess around.
I find it sad when people start to exercise because they think it will make them healthier, and then they end up addicted to exercise for its own sake – because of endorphins, etc – which strikes me as being rather unhealthy.
For some reason I never experienced endorphins, even when I got my heartbeat up to maximum for my age and size. I was so envirous at all the other jocks who got their workout highs, and I just got the ordinary experience. Bummer!
I’ve heard/read that you really don’t get that until you exercise – including running or bicycling – BEYOND when it becomes painful to do so.
There are different aspects of exercise: Strength, endurance, range-of-motion, flexibility, coordination. BTW, range-of-motion and flexibility are not the same thing, though related. Try mixing it up with free weights, maybe swinging a kettlebell, interval training, some basic bodyweight training. Sometimes it’s just the joy of finding out what the old bod can still do.
Followed by the “CRACK!”
Always stay within your limits.
Endorphins–a gateway drug to…
I’m not sure. Google doesn’t seem to know.
It’s simple.
More endorphins.
You must be a real jock! I’m pretty satisfied with what I do, added to my three days of walkng, Djanjo. All of that sounds pretty darn hard. I do treadmill, weight machines, free weights and balance exercises. I’m 5’2″ and 107 lbs. I think this bod will have to settle for what it’s already getting. ;-)
Doc – if your patients came to you telling your same story, what would you do to get them better? Seriously……see a nutritionist and rule out food allergies, look at dietary habits? My suggestion if you are trying to feel better mentally and physically, go out early for a walk and keep increasing your distance (even a bit of jogging eventually), then jump in your pool when you get home to cool down and swim some laps. No TV’s – just nature. That will clear and calm your mind and if you stick to it everyday, you will feel better. Drink a lot of water – get some vitamins, pour Emergen-C in your water bottle.
If you don’t like TV, you and your wife can get Netflix and watch old movies – comedy shows. Stay away from the news networks.
Not a jock. Just trying to keep from turning into Jello as I age.
It sounds like you are doing plenty to me.
Thanks!
“When I get depressed I go to Aruba.” — Jose Ferrer
I can’t stand TV or treadmills either. Take up pickle ball. No, seriously. It’s great exercise and it’s fun.
Can you play pickle ball at 10:30 pm? That’s when I do most of my indoor rides during the off season.
I had tried indoor exercise bikes and spent big bucks on an elliptical machine. I used them, and did get some audio books done with the elliptical machine, doing maybe 20 minutes at a time. But it just wasn’t enough.
When I got the Wahoo Kickr Snap trainer for my bicycle and signed up for the Rouvy service for riding video routes recorded by others (something that I had long wished was in existence) that worked. I usually ride at least an hour an evening (at least 5 nights a week) and sometimes I do rides of two hours or more (with a brief break or two in the middle of the long ones). It’s interesting enough that I can make myself do that, but I wasn’t able to make myself work that hard on the other equipment I had. The routes are interesting, and accumulating the stats to meet goals is interesting. Sometimes my goal is a certain number of miles per month, and sometimes it’s a certain number of feet of climbing per month. Or some sort of combo. Sometimes I just don’t want to be the slowest person who has done a particular route, or I want to get myself out of the bottom third, so I step up the pace.
I doubt it would work for everyone, but the point is that it may take some experimentation to find what works for you.
I haven’t quite figured out how to make myself do regular workouts with the set of weights that’s gathering dust in the garage. I really should.
Working out at a gym blows. The incessant, inescapable TVs competing with hip-hop music blasting everywhere make it even worse. I participate in trainer-led 45-minute HIIT workouts five or six days a week at our local gym. I loathe every second of it, but I do it as a means to an end. (The “end” is eating a lot of pizza and ice cream sandwiches.)
One of my favorite Bill Bryson quotes (from A Walk in the Woods) seems apt here:
I love this book. One of my all-time top five favorites. The humor was wonderful. :-)
Best advice you will read: don’t go to the gym today.
Ain’t that the truth!
You can’t get addicted if you don’t take the first hit!
My brother-in-law tricked himself into getting more exercise. He runs a successful small business (in CA still! Amazing……) and he gets regular Amazon Prime deliveries of various supplies for it. Instead of having them delivered to his home or business, he chose an Amazon locker several miles from home. He rides his bicycle each way to pickup the items, sometimes several times per week.
He said that he couldn’t do exercise for its own sake, but this way he feels like he’s accomplishing something.
I think I like your brother-in-law, despite the fact that he lives in California.