A Bit Vogon the Details: A Punny Thing Happened On the Way to This Post . . .

 

‘Hail, Poetry, thou heav’n-born maid!
Thou gildest e’en the pirate’s trade.’ 
– The Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan. 

It strikes I that one thing that April showers in their munificence have not yet brung is bad poetry. (“What about that pizza post?” That’s different, that weren’t poetry, that was parody – see? “A likely story,” says you. On with the motley, says I— Ooh, a rotten tomato – all contreebutions to the com-post pile gratefully received – thankee, thankee, ladies and gents.) What we needs here is poetry such as would make a Vogon space-invader blush. Come on, now, I knows you has it in you – I’s seen it before – be it  bad limericks, lurgid lyrics, or a haiku that’d move a samurai to kami your kaze

Otherwise, I’m afraid the pun-ishments will has to continue until morale improves. (Come to think of it, the puns’ll probably flow free anyway – that’s what they’re there for, practically. But the point still stands – whatever it was – I casn’t seem remember now . . .) In fact, why not add puns into the mix? Puns so bad that they fall under the Egregious Punning ordinances that’ll no doubt be enacted everywhere in their wake – but if we’s to go down, we may’s well do it in style!

Who’s with me? All for pun, and puns for all! 

Published in Group Writing
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  1. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Movies IHate Waiting GIF - Movies IHateWaiting ThePrincessBride GIFs

    • #1
  2. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    There once was a fellow named Miller,
    Whose every post was a thriller.
    He reveled and punned
    Until he was dunned,
    Although he thought that part a chiller.

    • #2
  3. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Sorry, can’t help you
    Limericks are too hard, and
    Puns are the devil

    • #3
  4. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Arahant (View Comment):

    There once was a fellow named Miller,
    Whose every post was a thriller.
    He reveled and punned
    Until he was dunned,
    Although he thought that part a chiller.

    Dunned? I dun’ know as I likes that. Masterfully done, Master ’Hant! I specified bad poetry, but I’s prepared to accept good as well. 

    • #4
  5. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Sorry, can’t help you
    Limericks are too hard, and
    Puns are the devil

    Ye’re doin’ fine, Judge. Jest fine. 

    • #5
  6. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Miller couldn’t bear to be dunned
    As he waited around to be punned
    Because he couldn’t stand it
    And just like a bandit
    The Judge quickly far away runned.

    • #6
  7. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Miller couldn’t stand to be dunned
    As he waited around to be punned
    Because he couldn’t stand it
    And quick like a bandit
    The Judge quickly far away runned.

    Shomebody shtop him! That was the famous Judge Mental – Poet!

    • #7
  8. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Miller couldn’t stand to be dunned
    As he waited around to be punned
    Because he couldn’t stand it
    And quick like a bandit
    The Judge quickly far away runned.

    Shomebody shtop him! That was the famous Judge Mental – Poet!

    I’m editing myself.  Shouldn’t have used stand twice.

    • #8
  9. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    My old friend Iñigo Montoya,
    Went sailing with pirates, oh boy ya!
    His sea life was fraught
    With dangers ’til caught,
    Now to find him, we must file a FOIA.

    • #9
  10. She Reagan
    She
    @She

    A Ricochet member named Andrew
    Was a master at posting impromptu
    He punned and he joked,
    The jolly young bloke
    And his friends found his thoughts of much value.

    Ouch.

    • #10
  11. Midwest Southerner Member
    Midwest Southerner
    @MidwestSoutherner

    Andrew Miller: All for pun, and puns for all! 

    There are so many good lines to quote from your post, I had to just choose the last one.

    I’m still mired in my work day, but this definitely gave me a grin, a giggle, and a great boost of energy to finish out the next few hours. Then I shall return with something that (hopefully) meets the standards you set forth. It will be at least the fourth worst poetry in the Universe.

    An aside: Anyone who shares a Princess Bride meme is aces in my book.

    • #11
  12. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Midwest Southerner (View Comment):

    Andrew Miller: All for pun, and puns for all!

    There are so many good lines to quote from your post, I had to just choose the last one.

    I’m still mired in my work day, but this definitely gave me a grin, a giggle, and a great boost of energy to finish out the next few hours. Then I shall return with something that (hopefully) meets the standards you set forth. It will be at least the fourth worst poetry in the Universe.

    An aside: Anyone who shares a Princess Bride meme is aces in my book.

    Arr, tha’s what we’re here for. Spreading sweetness and light and a little bit of good humour to help last out the day. Oh, and puns o’ course.

    • #12
  13. Annegeles Reagan
    Annegeles
    @Annegeles

    The was an old Turk from the Caicos

    Who planted his flag in Barbados

    He buckled his swash 

    He don’t give tosh 

    Now he digs day and night for his pesos

    • #13
  14. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Annegeles (View Comment):

    The was an old Turk from the Caicos

    Who planted his flag in Barbados

    He buckled his swash

    He don’t give tosh

    Now he digs day and night for his pesos

    I dunno, I asks for bad poetry, and I get good poetry. Bravo!

    • #14
  15. Annegeles Reagan
    Annegeles
    @Annegeles

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    Annegeles (View Comment):

    The was an old Turk from the Caicos

    Who planted his flag in Barbados

    He buckled his swash

    He don’t give tosh

    Now he digs day and night for his pesos

    I dunno, I asks for bad poetry, and I get good poetry. Bravo!

    Thanks, Andrew.   😊

    • #15
  16. Clifford A. Brown Contributor
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    April showers bring
    artful or whimsical posts
    raining gently down

    . . .

    I’m no poet,
    and I know it.

    There are two major monthly Group Writing projects. One is the Quote of the Day project, now managed by @she. This is the other project, in which Ricochet members claim a day of the month to write on a proposed theme. This is an easy way to expose your writing to a general audience, with a bit of accountability and topical guidance to encourage writing for its own sake.

    Stop by and sign up now for “April Showers Bring . . . .”

    Interested in Group Writing topics that came before? See the handy compendium of monthly themes. Check out links in the Group Writing Group. You can also join the group to get a notification when a new monthly theme is posted.

    • #16
  17. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    April showers bring
    artful or whimsical posts
    raining gently down

    . . .

    I’m no poet,
    and I know it.

    He says he’s no poet,
    I’m not so sure that I know it;
    Don’t make a good man frown,
    Mayhap sign up, kind reader, go to town,
    If you wist, with Group Writing.

    • #17
  18. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    April showers bring
    artful or whimsical posts
    raining gently down

    . . .

    I’m no poet,
    and I know it.

    He says he’s no poet,
    I’m not so sure that I know it;
    Don’t make a good man frown,
    Go sign up, kind reader, go to town,
    If you wist, with Group Writing.

    Andrew looked for the fun to be had
    In ways to make poetry bad
    He posted his post
    And challenged the host
    But his last line didn’t rhyme.

    • #18
  19. Andrew Miller Member
    Andrew Miller
    @AndrewMiller

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Andrew Miller (View Comment):

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    April showers bring
    artful or whimsical posts
    raining gently down

    . . .

    I’m no poet,
    and I know it.

    He says he’s no poet,
    I’m not so sure that I know it;
    Don’t make a good man frown,
    Go sign up, kind reader, go to town,
    If you wist, with Group Writing.

    Andrew looked for the fun to be had
    In ways to make poetry bad
    He posted his post
    And challenged the host
    But his last line didn’t rhyme.

    I never did claim to be a poet! Arr! ‘If I knows that I’s paid to be funny . . .’

    • #19