Ricochet is the best place on the internet to discuss the issues of the day, either through commenting on posts or writing your own for our active and dynamic community in a fully moderated environment. In addition, the Ricochet Audio Network offers over 50 original podcasts with new episodes released every day.
Quote of the Day: Department of Agriculture and Fruit Cocktail
My quote of the day comes courtesy of some bureaucrat (or possibly some committee of bureaucrats) at the US Department of Agriculture on the requirements for Grade A fruit cocktail:
Peach. The texture is typical of diced peaches prepared and processed from at least reasonably well-matured fruit and the units may range in tenderness from slightly firm to slightly soft but possess fairly well-defined edges;
Pear. The texture is typical of diced pears prepared and processed from properly ripened pears or from pears of moderate graininess and the units may range in tenderness from slightly firm to slightly soft and may have slightly rounded edges;
Pineapple. The units are practically uniform in ripeness with fruitlets of compact structure, are reasonably free from porosity and are practically free from hard core material;
Grape. The units are reasonably plump and reasonably firm; and
Cherry. The units are reasonably firm.
Until I read this profound statement from our fine regulators at the USDA, I was totally unaware that fruit cocktail with porous pineapple fruitlets or soft cherries could not qualify as Grade A fruit cocktail. I am also now pretty sure that as a child I consumed some canned fruit substances illegally masquerading as fruit cocktail. As the Department of Agriculture makes clear, cherries must comprise not less than “2 percent by weight of drained fruit” and not more than “6 percent by weight of drained fruit” in order to meet the government definition of fruit cocktail. There were never enough cherries, and I suspect that most of the cans of fruit cocktail I consumed as a child failed to meet that 2 percent cherry threshold.
Here is the full 21-page set of regulations for fruit cocktail in case you are interested. (If you are in fact interested, you are probably either a Del Monte insider or just really bored with the lockdown.)
While I find the fruit cocktail regulations humorous and ridiculous, these are precisely the types of regulations that cause me to worry about the future of freedom in America. Apparently, we have a regulatory state which sees fit to use government power to regulate the shape of the peach slices which can be canned and then labeled fruit cocktail. This is exactly the type of regulation that crushes innovation, consumer choice, and competition to the advantage of Big Fruit. How can we reasonably consider ourselves free if the regulatory state seeks to interfere in even the smallest minutiae of American life?
Even worse, we have millions of Americans who are so fearful of free markets and consumer choice that they are eager participants in this soft tyranny. These are the Americans who think that absent the heavy-handed regulatory state, our cans of fruit cocktail would consist of nothing more than rotten pears, maggots, and swamp water. There would be no cherries at all! These bureaucracy worshipers actually think that closing the Department of Education would mean the end of schools or eliminating the Department of Agriculture would lead to mass famine. They don’t seem to trust freedom and markets.
Had these people been in charge, George Washington’s camp at Valley Forge would have been closed down by some 18th-century version of OSHA. The pioneers would have been forbidden from building their log cabins by some 19th-century incarnation of the EPA until a comprehensive environmental impact study on prairie dog habitat had been completed. And the Wright Brothers would have been put out of business by an early version of the Department of Transportation for misuse of bicycle parts.
We need a major retreat of the regulatory state, and I say we start by making illegal mixes of fruit cocktail.
Published in Group Writing
1. Super post.
2. Fruitlets is hilarious.
3. Whenever I think about my taxes paying some schlubby government drone $63,000 per year to come up with thousands of pages of this stuff, I can’t avoid the conclusion that we’re doomed.
Beyond the reach of all but the Ultimate Judge. RIP.
When I taught business law classes, after some time on the Constitution and the separation of powers doctrine, I’d introduce my students to the section on “administrative law”, by using some overblown multi-page regulations from the Code of Federal Regulations.
Then follow up with some administrative regs, violations of which could actually lead to criminal prosecution, like the developer who was convicted and sentenced to federal prison after violating a EPA wetlands regulation. His offense was pretty much digging up some dirt for temporary canals, and then later replacing the dirt. Oh the horror! (At long last, his conviction was thrown out and he did not do time.)
Some expressed the view that placing the power to write the rules (quasi-legislative), interpret the rules (quasi-judicial), and enforce the rules (quasi-executive), all in an administrative agency, could have adverse consequences.
Mission accomplished.
I’m in heaven!
I was wondering when you’d check in.
Similar story here. I originally found the fruit cocktail regulations for a history lesson I was teaching about government control over the economy. How the students laughed at the petty bureaucrats! But it really isn’t funny.
In the late 1970s someone in government regulation thought there needed to be a regulation defining peanut butter. But there was no way to define peanut butter that covered both of the leading brands of the day. The two makers had very different formulations for their peanut butters, yet the purchasing public was perfectly content with both of them as “peanut butter. ”
Maybe we should buy a big supply of coloring books for government workers who are looking for things to regulate. That way they will have something constructive to do with their time on the job.
When I was working in DC I did a story on the proposed changes to the ketchup classification system. They wanted to move from fancy / extra standard / standard to A, B, and C. Many people thought the government was changing ketchup itself, as if they had the power to do so. The FDA was flooded with complaining letters. I’ll never forget one line, written by a fellow who was born outside of the country and was now a proud citizen: “Do not contrude with the ketchup that is ours,” he implored.
Ever since, “contrude” has been part of my vocabulary, being a perfectly cromulent word; it really ought to be a word.
I understand his sentiment. In my world, ketchup is a single classification under the broader condiment category. I never really worried if my ketchup was fancy or standard. But I guess that is why some brands ended up calling themselves catsup.
I think you should notify the Biden transition team about this potential minefield of unregulated peanut butter. Perhaps they can spend the next four years concentrating on peanut butter policy instead of ruining the country.
Definition?
Hmmn…
I wonder how many thousands of pages of regulations, guidelines, and recommendations there are defining the standard for what means “reasonably.”
I am not sure. I can imagine that some bureaucrats would love to write thousands of pages of reports to define “reasonably,” but I can imagine another set of bureaucrats who would leave that undefined so they can be the sole arbiter of the “reasonable porosity” of the pineapple.
Fresh Cherries always are more expensive in the store.
I imagine some of the “recipe” has to do with general availability.
Though don’t discount the idea of food artistry.
Maybe there is an old recipe or tradition.
Oh, I’m sure it’s a logical process until it gets in the hands of the bureaucrats. When I was a teen one of my very first paying jobs was standing by a conveyor belt and culling tomatoes arriving from the farm. Those acceptable went on to the Farmer’s Market but I’m sure the culled were not discarded, fresh versus canned or sauce, etc.
For sure.
And then there’s putting the color/flavor back into the cherries…
Back when I was Del Monte adjacent (Working for EDS, we had the IT contract) I got a tour of the — since closed – Stockton, CA cannery.
After the cherries are picked, pitted and halved they spend time brining in plastic lined bins stacked up in the yard of the cannery.
This bleaches out the red and they turn yellow. I was told this process toughens them up for later processing. I think it’s more of a storage/preservation strategy while waiting for production capacity.
Then the cherries spend time stewing in carmine red dye. The tour guy seemed quite proud of the sample he showed us.
The cherries go whizzing by on a conveyor belt and are sorted/graded by an electric eye and air puffer.
I imagine the flavor is reintroduced via juice or syrup somewhere before it is “cocktailed.”
I’m glad I no longer partake.