A couple of years ago, I did a post called A Liberal Lexicon. Since then, every time I spotted a new bludgeoning of the language, I added it to the list. For some reason, the last few months have been a target-rich environment for new entries. With that and the recent posts from @tocqueville, “. . .words/expressions that have got to go!,” and @arvo, “Getting on the same page,” I think now is a good time to publish an update.

Since the people who believe these things are the epitome of illiberal, I’ve changed the name to more honestly reflect who they are. I’ve tried to give credit to other members for ideas that came from their posts or comments, but if I missed any, let me know.

Affirmative action: A way to give admissions and hiring preference to wealthy and connected members of favored minorities at the expense of unfavored minorities.

Alt right: A small group of internet trolls who have embraced the leftist media caricature of conservatives.

Anti-racism protest: An activity certified by medical professionals not to increase the spread of a disease.

Anti-shutdown protest: An activity certified by medical professionals to increase the spread of a disease. See also Trump rally.

Antifa: A secretive society whose members wear black hoods and masks. Their main activities appear to be attacking people on the street, destroying property and fighting with the police. The name has something to do with Fascism.

Assault weapon: A phrase used to indicate the speaker has no knowledge of firearms. See also Machinegun.

Bigot: Anyone who doesn’t agree with a leftist. (Thanks, @rightangles)

Blackface: If you are careless when applying makeup or sunscreen you’ll be fired. Not applicable to leftist politicians.

Black Lives Matter: An organization championing the lives of African Americans killed by the police while ignoring African Americans killed by other African Americans, drug overdoses, diabetes, heart disease, or abortionists.

Bill of Rights: A very important constitutional protection of individual citizens from the government, except when a Democrat is in control of the executive branch. (Thanks, @glenn)

Brave: Doing or saying something I agree with.

Business regulations: A method by which the government supports large established businesses over smaller competitors who don’t have the resources to hire lawyers and accountants to ensure compliance or lobbyists to influence the process.

Cancel culture: What are you talking about? There’s no such thing. If you keep spreading lies like that, we’ll make sure you lose your job.

Carbon footprint:  The amount of sin against the primary religion of leftist elites a person accumulates by engaging in normal activities. Based on complex and esoteric calculations that can only be computed by the high priests of climate change. (Thanks, @typicalanomaly)

Carbon offset: Penance paid by wealthy sinners in order to receive indulgences from the high church of climate change. Any actual effects on the environment are unknown. (Thanks, @typicalanomaly)

Celebrity: A person with musical or athletic ability, a pleasing appearance, or the talent to lie on cue. Because of this genetic endowment, they are naturally superior to everyone else in every way. Unfortunately rendered completely irrelevant by the closure of sports stadiums, concert halls and other entertainment venues.

Climate change: The current religious dogma of the primary faith of the leftist elite. Recently renamed so that it can be conveniently applied to any weather event.

Code words: A phrase that means the speaker has no response to your arguments. Instead, they provide their own meanings to some of your words and phrases, and then argue against those meanings.

Collusion: Any interaction between any foreign national and any member of a presidential campaign. Such activity is clearly treasonous, even if it is not illegal. What’s that, it was a Democrat doing it? Oh, then never mind. 

Common-sense gun control: A proposed governmental response to a horrific incident, promulgated by people who have no knowledge of firearms. Always has one or more of the following attributes:

1. It is based on laws or regulations already in place.
2. It has no bearing on any of the devices used in the incident.
3. It is impossible to enact or enforce.

The Conscience of America: A Celebrity who uses a media platform for hectoring people on subjects about which they have no particular expertise. See also Bully.

Controversial: An adjective used to describe a statement, program or policy from a Republican or conservative without actually having to articulate a controversy.

Cultural appropriation: While you may appreciate folk art or music from another culture, don’t try to incorporate it into your own work. Even if you do it in a respectful manner, it is theft. Even though it may have been adapted from yet another culture, is not copyrighted, is not illegal, is not owned by any individual, and is not harming anyone physically or financially, you are stealing, it is theft, you thief! Also, you cannot wear jewelry, makeup, or clothing that is popular with a culture other than your own, even if you have paid someone from that culture for the items. Not applicable to leftist politicians.

Democrats: The party of slavery until that debate was decisively lost. Gradually figured out that they could keep the formerly enslaved in their place by bribing them with resources stolen from other people. The party of any politician embroiled in a scandal whose affiliation is not listed in the main-stream media reports.

Denier: A heathen who has not accepted the received word or a heretic from the dogma of the church of Climate Change.

Deplorable: adj. Laughing at any of the jokes in this post. N. You.

Dialogue: Sit down, shut up, and let us scream at you. (Thanks, @tocqueville)

Diversity: A way for bureaucrats to force businesses and universities to hire or admit people based on traits other than ability. Originally based on race and gender, but now based on such esoteric qualities (religion, culture, sexual orientation) that widespread fraud is inevitable.

Dog whistle: A racist or sexist comment so subtle that only a bigot and/or leftist can perceive it. 

Don’t be evil: The motto of a multi-billion international monopoly whose activities include the following:

1. Cooperating with totalitarian states to suppress dissent.
2. Assisting other large companies in stifling reviews, satires and criticisms of their products.
3. Censoring minority and unpopular opinions from its “partners” and employees.
4. Exploiting small businesses and artists for revenue, then subjecting them to arbitrary, capricious and unpublished rules imperiling their livelihoods.
5. Colluding with advertisers to invade the privacy of users.
6. Abetting fraud through modified search results.

Obviously the motto is a command to everyone else. They don’t want the competition.

Equality: Taking resources from productive people and giving them to unproductive people. (Thanks, @rightangles0) The enemy of freedom and liberty. (Thanks, @miltonfriedm)

Fascist: See Nazi.

Feminist: A woman without any sense of humor who has no understanding of subtlety, irony, or human nature. She therefore thinks she has perfect knowledge of the interactions between men and women. Also, a man who thinks he can get more sex by pretending to agree with humorless women.

Flatten the curve: A means of preventing a pandemic from overwhelming medical resources by restricting the liberties of an entire population. Once successful, is quickly forgotten because restricting liberties is so damn fun.

Global warming: The former religious dogma of the primary faith of leftist elite. Recently renamed when the globe turned out not to be warming quite as fast as prophesied.

Hate crime: A bad piece of performance art created by a social justice warrior in order to further racial disunity. Rarely, a violent crime committed against a person due to their race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation, unless that person is a straight white male.

Hate speech: Any statement a leftist disagrees with. (Thanks, @rightangles1)

Influencer: People whose trivial and gaudy lifestyles attract the attention of large numbers of shallow and immature viewers. (Thanks, @rightangles2)

Investments: Taxes. (Thanks, @glenn)

It’s for the children…: A catchall phrase designed to end any discussion of the appropriateness of raising taxes. (Thanks, @rightangles3). Note: Now an archaic term since children are largely immune from a disease that might affect about 1% of leftist union members. (Thanks, @rodin)

Ku Klux Klan: An openly racist Democrat organization that has fallen out of favor with the rest of the party, but whose every proclamation and action is publicized by the Democrat media. Noted for their elaborate costumes and absurd titles.

Law: A governmental solution to every problem, even though it may be selectively obeyed and enforced.

Law-abiding citizen: Sucker.

Main-stream media: The propaganda ministry of the Democrat party.

Media bias: What are you talking about? There’s no such thing. If you keep spreading lies like that, we’ll make sure you never get published again.

Microaggression: A racist or sexist comment so subtle that only a leftist can perceive it.

Misogynist: A person who doesn’t believe that taxpayer-funded abortions and birth control are constitutional rights.(Thanks, @rightangles4 and @rightangles5)

Mostly peaceful: An event where 51% of the participants have not murdered or assaulted anyone, started fires, vandalized buildings, or looted businesses, counted by people who went into journalism because of poor math grades. (Thanks, @jeffhawkins)

Nazi: See Racist.

Neanderthal: Anyone who hasn’t immediately fully subscribed to the latest version of Leftist Orthodoxy including the ever-changing and even unintelligible nuances proclaimed by the leftist elites. (Thanks, @rightangles6)

Neo-Conservative: An epithet you can use against Jews without being labeled anti-Semitic. See also Zionist and Israeli.

Not paying their fair share: Anyone who earns at least $1 more than the person making this claim. See also The Rich. (Thanks, @glenn)

Offense archeology: Going through a person’s entire documented and online history in order to find a single incident, take it out of context, and use it in an ad hominem attack. All together now: Not applicable to leftist politicians.

The Patriarchy: “All my problems are the fault of someone else and I don’t need to change in any way to solve them.”

Political leader: A person in charge of a city or state who bravely bullies Law-abiding citizens, but runs and hides from mobs.

Privilege: A way to attack someone for their race and gender that is in no way racist or sexist, no siree.

Problematic: An adjective used to describe a statement, program, or policy from a Republican or conservative. Specifics of the problem are never mentioned.

Protester: A socialist who has accomplished nothing and doesn’t work, screaming slogans, based on their vast knowledge, experience, and wisdom, at working-class wage slaves in dangerous jobs.

Public School teacher: Non-essential worker.

Quarantine: Isolation of a person suspected of carrying an infectious disease for a certain period of time, i.e. by shipping them to a nursing home until they die or infect every other resident.

Questionable: An adjective used to describe a statement, program or policy from a Republican or conservative, without having to actually ask a question.

Racist: An epithet that means the user has no rejoinder to your arguments and is trying to shut off debate by reverting by name-calling.

Renewable energy: An expensive, inefficient and unreliable way to obtain power that makes you feel good about yourself.

Regulation: A government solution to every problem, but without that messy “needs to be passed by Congress and signed by the President” nonsense. Also selectively enforced.

Revenues: Taxes (Thanks, @glenn)

Republicans: A political organization that is responsible for all the things going wrong in the country despite the fact that its members are squabbling disunified incompetents. Also called Fascist, because squabbling, disunity, and incompetence are hallmarks of Fascist organizations.

The Science is settled: A phrase meaning the speaker has no knowledge of the scientific method.

Social distancing: A way of supposedly controlling a disease by destroying the livelihoods, prospects and education of millions of people who are not politicians or blabbermouths on TV. Seems to result in widespread social unrest, whodda thought?

Social justice: A vague term that means whatever is in vogue with leftists this week.

Social justice warrior: A condescending scold who thinks they make the world better by half-informed nattering about the latest leftist cause célèbre. Noted for their absurd costumes and elaborate titles.

Socialism: An economic system with great popularity despite the fact that it has failed in every country that has tried it. According to its most rabid adherents, it has never been properly instituted. This means that it is either impossible to create a proper socialist system or socialists are totally incompetent. Of course, both may be true.

Sexual harassment: Advances made by ugly men who don’t have power over your career, or who no longer have power over your career. (Thanks, @rightangles)

Systematic racism: “All my problems are the fault of someone else and I don’t need to change in any way to solve them.”

Target-rich environment: A military term meaning “You are being overrun.”

Theft: An unplanned donation to a community member who is in greater need of the items than you. (Thanks, @moeys91)

Third-wave feminism: A majority of the population is cast as an oppressed minority so that women will have exactly the same role in society as men. Any setback to this goal is blamed not on human nature, personal choice or the ineptitude of its advocates but on intervention by an all-powerful patriarchy. (Thanks, @typicalanomaly)

Tolerance: A willingness to be open-minded about the choices, culture, and lifestyle of another person, as long as they agree with you. The first step in the tolerance-acceptance-celebration-subsidization continuum.

Transgender: A confused, depressed person with a propensity for suicide who, after extensive counseling by well-paid mental health professionals and genital mutilation conducted by well-paid surgeons, becomes a confused, depressed person with a propensity for suicide.

Twitter: See Open sewer.

Victim: The most powerful person in any media debate, whose every opinion must be supported no matter what their expertise. Occasionally a person who has suffered a great tragedy or injustice.

White supremacists: Racists behind all the problems in places where Democrats have been in power for decades.

Woke: A blissful, dreamlike state where all leftist biases are confirmed and no prejudices are challenged.

Again with apologies to Ambrose Bierce, who, after all, may still be out there somewhere, and Jonah Goldberg, who has unfortunately been out there for a while.