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Combative Consensus Crushes Souls
My daughter came downstairs crying this morning. Linda (not her real name) is a very mature 17 years old, not prone to emotional outbursts. She starts college in the fall, as a scholarship athlete at a major Division I school (you’ll be seeing her on TV in a couple years). Anyway, her coach sent out an email this morning saying that their team was going to release a statement affirming their belief in Black Lives Matter, and that each kid on the team would have the opportunity to record a video expressing their support for the movement. They are having a Zoom call in a couple of days for the coaches and athletes to express their feelings on this matter to one another. Linda is not stupid, and understands her position here: “If I don’t talk about how much I hate white people, including myself, then my whole team will hate me before we even start practice! All I can do is repeat what everybody else says, no matter how ridiculous it is! Why do I have to lie about politics to be allowed to play a sport? What does this have to do with anything? I don’t care what color anybody is! Can’t we just leave it at that? This SUCKS!”
It’s difficult to watch your kid struggle, especially when they really are in an impossible situation. She’s right. She’s stuck. There is no way out other than lying, repeatedly and sincerely, in public, to her friends. The lying will hurt, but there is no other way. So that is what she will do. Again, Linda is not stupid. But just to calm my anger over this, I thought I would sit down for a few minutes and compose a speech that she could give on this Zoom call to her team. She probably won’t use this. Not even small parts of it. But I’ll feel better when I’m done. When I courageously stand up to fascism, I prefer to do so by writing snarky articles under a pseudonym. What can I say – I’m a leader. Anyway, I wish Linda would say this on her Zoom call:
COACH: Hello everyone, and thanks for taking the time to join in this super important discussion at this critical time in our nation’s history. I’d just like to go around the group, on this Zoom call, so each of us can share their perspective on this super important topic. So why don’t we…
LINDA: *raises her hand excitedly* Ooh – coach! Coach! Can I go first?
COACH: Well, it’s great to see such inspiring leadership from an incoming freshman! Of course, Linda, please share your truth.
LINDA: Awesome! Thanks so much! I think it’s so great that we’re all getting together to discuss this super important topic! We owe it to our fans to make sure they know where we stand on political issues of the day! After all, it’s all about winning another championship! But no matter how passionate I am about this topic, I want to make sure that everyone understands that their point of view will be respected here. We’re all family, and we love and care for each and every one of you. Of course we’re not going to agree about everything over these next four years, and it’s super important that we learn to love and respect one another despite differences in perspective that are bound to come up on various topics. It’s super important that every voice is heard. Even minority voices. Don’t you think?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call spastically nod their heads up and down like trained seals*
LINDA: So let’s start our discussion by having a simple vote, so every voice can be heard. It’s super important that we know where everybody stands, so we can have a real discussion on this super important topic. So let’s have a show of hands. Who out there is in favor of racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call freeze and stare straight ahead, like they’re afraid a motion detector might go off*
LINDA: Come on now – you’re among friends here. We just want to have an open discussion, so we can all learn from one another’s perspectives. That doesn’t work if we won’t share our perspectives. Come on now – everyone in favor of racism please raise your hands.
*After a 10-second pause one girl blinks, and desperately hopes that no one noticed*
LINDA: Um, ok. Well then, is there anyone out there who is against racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call wave their arms over their heads and jump up and down, like they’re trying to hail a cab*
LINDA: Ok. Um… Well, I was hoping for a great discussion today – I thought it would be a great learning opportunity for all of us. But it’s hard to learn anything from a discussion, when you’re talking only to people who think exactly the same way you do. Hopefully, our next four years in college will bring more diversity of thought so we can expand our horizons through a process of reflection and self-exploration, learning from those we disagree with. Hmmm… Well, I guess this turned out to be a pretty short discussion, huh? Ok, coach, is there anything else you wanted to discuss before we adjourn?
Um, coach? Are you ok?
What drives me crazy about the riots in our cities that have been going on for over a month, is that they claim that they’re against white-against-black racism. Which no one is in favor of. Who do they think they’re arguing with? How can an argument destroy a country, when no one argues against them? It’s like screaming at the moon.
If the only way your side can win an argument is by constructing a straw man so ridiculous that even school kids think it’s over the top, then your side should recognize that their arguments are somewhere between silly and toxic. This is poison.
And everyone knows it’s poison. Including Linda. So she won’t read the text I suggested above.
Instead, she’ll give an impassioned speech about how much she hates white people, to prove she doesn’t judge people by the color of their skin. She’ll acknowledge that the only reason she’s a great athlete is because of her white privilege. She’ll say that people who have never owned slaves should give money to people who have never been slaves. She’ll say that systemic racism is invisible and ubiquitous at the same time. I know, I know – but it doesn’t have to make sense. That’s not the point.
The point is, she’s an incredible athlete, and she just wants to play.
So she lies. To everyone and to herself. It’s going to hurt. But she’ll get used to it over time. So she keeps lying, so she can play. After all, there is no other way.
This is poison.
Published in General
Fortunately, most of those in construction are pretty reactionary. Plus, I only have to thread any needle that needs threading for another 6 years.
Trump tried last night Whether he succeeded remains to be seen.
The truly annoying thing is the lack of others trying to stop the madness.
It really is time to start keeping count. Tom Cotton is there, but where are the rest of other allegedly conservative voices?
How about this? Lie briefly, then quickly change the subject:
“All lives don’t matter and we got Villanova at home in 84 days. Let’s get ready to rock.”
The president of the university accused the student of making “hate speech” and “racist” statements. The student’s statements (as documented by Campus Reform) were that crimes should not be treated differently because of the race of the victim or of the perpetrator. But that is considered hateful and racist, while the overtly hateful and racist statements of Black Lives Matter are to be lauded. Up is down. Down is up. We are through the looking glass.
I have a post for tomorrow addressing this in part.
@AaronMiller Two very perceptive comments.
We expect young soldiers to perform courageously in the face of far, far higher risks of death or crippling injury. Why a young woman should expect to be exempt from life’s hard decisions is beyond me. And lying publicly just to participate in athletics? Not even in the same neighborhood.
This won’t be the only time she’ll have to make a stand on principle. If this were my daughter I’d be encouraging her to do the right thing.
The worst part is, in the back corner of her mind, there will be a seed of rationalization to justify lying, gradually eating away at her psyche and slowly prompting her to fully surrender and embrace the Narrative in order to avoid a sense of shame. I’m not saying this as a form of condemnation, but simply an acknowledgement of the way the human mind works-its part of the reason the Left does this. That said, very few adults of any prominence in the United States are putting themselves on the line, and relatively few regular citizens are even sacrificing convenience and entertainment to save the country from Intersectional fascism-it would be unfair of us to be too judgemental about her decision, which is why I also liked Dr. Bastiat’s reply to your original post.
This reminds me of when my mother was pressured to quit her job as an English teacher at a black school by the older members of her family, eventually deciding to work as a caseworker in Savannah. She seems to view this a moral failure on her part (and it probably was), but it did allow her to apply her values and passion in a productive direction away from their toxic pressures (most got better), and the twin acts of working with predominantly black clientele and finding a cherished friend and mentor in the form of an older black co-worker probably helped to save her from that mental trap. Here’s hoping that Dr. Bastiat’s daughter will be able to find something to center her (in addition to her apparently good parents), so that she will be able to ‘spiritually’ weather her time in the belly of the Beast, and come out stronger in her convictions.
The guys at American Mind are doing a good job. Jason Riley, Coleman Hughes, Candace Owens, and Brandon Tatum are doing a good job.
There’s little old me! And you, too, Susan, and some of the rest of us here at Ricochet.
After an initial misstep, Josh Hawley.
How about?
In the interest of affirmative action, I give my athletic scholarship to a black girl, presumably, a girl of lesser ability. In other words, revoke, my white privilege. How many credits would I accrue?
Or, perhaps, ask the coach, if I burn down my house down ,would I be off the hook? Would I be able to speak my mind? Now and in the future?
The coach could explain the value of her diploma via a computer. Is this the prospect of a college education? He could explain that the “in-class” experience in over-rated. He could further explain the value of her interaction with other girls( her teammates), who chose with coform with his request. This all would be enlightening, especially, for a freshmen? What further requirements would she be expected to acquiesce to? Going to a hospital for crippled children is one thing, but where does it lead? This situation generates many questions? The coach could provide some insight. Ot, perhaps, not.
All of this is too much for 17 year old girl to digest. The long- term consequences are too complicated for even the most sophisticated and aware individual. It is inhumane and likely a form of child abuse. God bless her.
If she truly feels that her team will hate her because of this, she needs a new team.
Step back, shut up, and let her decide how to deal with this. You’ve given her the tools, now let her work.
Life is messy, lying is sometimes necessary. If every event become “a hill to die on”, you’re gonna do a lot of dying. She got to learn to pick her battles and live with the consequences and your opinions and feels come second, you just support her as best you can.
I agree with this. She’s going to college; right? She needs to be making her own decisions and living with whatever consequences come from them. As I said earlier, I’m so sorry she’s having to deal with something like this. It’s neither easy nor fair. :(
There are lies, and then there are lies. I would encourage you and your daughter to watch this new documentary on the Trayvon Martin case. The event that spurred the creation of the BLM movement that rushed activists to Ferguson and to all further opportunities to spread their hatred and lies. (Who knows how long Youtube will let it stay up?) Then ask her if BLM’s founding lie and continuing lies are trivial enough to excuse a lie from her in its support:
Dave Ramsey also has a little bit of parenting advice: Don’t let your (minor) children do things that will make you dislike them. Think about it.
I strongly disagree. She is 17, and it seems that she’s looking for guidance.
Our children need our guidance long after 18. I was still seeking support and advice from my dad until his death, when I was 44. I then sought out a Bible study group of older men (and women).
It’s actually a good idea to seek the wisdom of older people.
Indeed. A key sign of intelligence is the ability to learn from others’ mistakes. (:
I have the old part covered, it’s that wisdom part I am a little sketchy on.
Yep. I’m 47 and am lucky to have my parents both still available for their wisdom. At 17 you’re switching to the guidance versus making part of parenting- which I often regret, because if my parents had been able and willing to make me do things my whole life I could have saved a lot of money, heartache, and pain.
But I don’t take orders well. :)
Give guidance when looked for, but then get out of the way and let them make their own decisions. And mistakes.
I’m sympathetic and it sounds like the coach is way out of line. However, my reading of your OP does not lead me to the conclusion that your daughter has to lie or else. You wrote that your daughter will be “given the opportunity” to make a video of support, not that she would be required to. Could it be that making a video will be truly optional?
It sounds like your daughter will be required to be part of the Zoom call. Is it truly mandatory? If she does participate in the call, she does not actually need to make a statement. Anything she says can and will be used against her, but her silence may be given meaning by others…or may not be. In this situation it may be better for your daughter to remain silent and let people think what they will, and trust that when the others get to know her they will understand her heart.
Your daughter’s non-participation may have negative consequences, but compelling her to lie would be worse, IMHO.
Best of luck!
Well, my Republican Senator is busy cancelling Columbus Day.
I haven’t read most of the comments and I don’t blame your daughter for keeping her head down & going along. Knowing how to pick you battles is an important skill; you are helping her with that. But I want to leave you with this observation by Theodore Dalrymple (Anthony Daniels):
@Dr. Bastiat,
Well, now I’ve read lots more of the comments, and I’m curious. You have written, and seem to think, that a terse response is what you would prefer, or somehow think is good or right; but you say of your daughter’s intended reaction, “So she lies. To everyone and to herself.” On the surface it appears that the two of you disagree. Do you two really disagree?
It appears on the surface that she has decided this course, and that you have accepted it. Did you try to give her honest alternatives to lying or capitulation? Did you feel, and did you express, any disapproval? Or do you see her lying as a necessary evil, and actually approve of it under the circumstances — and did you perhaps even encourage it? And thus, is your script just an unacceptable, but emotionally appealing, pretend scene?
Is lying or kow-towing your first choice — or hers? I understand that you don’t want her to be hurt or her hard-fought-for dreams to be endangered, but did you give your stamp of approval to your daughter first, before she had made up her mind? Or did you disapprove and acquiesce to her resolve?
This is a hard situation: capitulation will likely never end, potentially even long after she has married and moved out and had children. Is the desire to be playing on the team the hill to die on? Is this the course you would advise her to take for the rest of her life? You certainly seem to disapprove.
Let’s hope she doesn’t have to make any speeches.
Solzhenitsyn said much the same, so did Havel. A major theme of Koestler’s Darkness at Noon is the need those in power have to get the victims of their show trials to acquiesce to their own destruction. Perhaps it assuages the tiny shreds of conscience they have left.
I believe that Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said much the same thing.
I believe — no, I know — that every black life matters.
Can’t really argue with that. If challenged, just repeat it.
There are far too many martyrs and political prisoners throughout all human history who have said what you just said.
Natan Sharansky and Solzenitzyn have said similar things. Their prose was brilliant but it lacked originality.
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/dannyalexanderjapansoftwarebiz_we-cant-have-national-dialogues-if-people-activity-6684887235294228480-Qvdg
I don’t disagree with this. At 52, I still seek my father’s advice at times. But there’s a difference between giving advice and making someone take it and do something. She may be only 17, but she’s heading off to college. In my opinion, that makes it time to give her advice and then make her own decisions.
I see a lot of people with fake screen names telling your daughter to freely express an opinion for which she knows she will be excoriated.
To all of them I say this: What is the most you have ever risked for your opinions?
So far, I see a kid who didn’t have to go to two weeks of dance class.