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Combative Consensus Crushes Souls
My daughter came downstairs crying this morning. Linda (not her real name) is a very mature 17 years old, not prone to emotional outbursts. She starts college in the fall, as a scholarship athlete at a major Division I school (you’ll be seeing her on TV in a couple years). Anyway, her coach sent out an email this morning saying that their team was going to release a statement affirming their belief in Black Lives Matter, and that each kid on the team would have the opportunity to record a video expressing their support for the movement. They are having a Zoom call in a couple of days for the coaches and athletes to express their feelings on this matter to one another. Linda is not stupid, and understands her position here: “If I don’t talk about how much I hate white people, including myself, then my whole team will hate me before we even start practice! All I can do is repeat what everybody else says, no matter how ridiculous it is! Why do I have to lie about politics to be allowed to play a sport? What does this have to do with anything? I don’t care what color anybody is! Can’t we just leave it at that? This SUCKS!”
It’s difficult to watch your kid struggle, especially when they really are in an impossible situation. She’s right. She’s stuck. There is no way out other than lying, repeatedly and sincerely, in public, to her friends. The lying will hurt, but there is no other way. So that is what she will do. Again, Linda is not stupid. But just to calm my anger over this, I thought I would sit down for a few minutes and compose a speech that she could give on this Zoom call to her team. She probably won’t use this. Not even small parts of it. But I’ll feel better when I’m done. When I courageously stand up to fascism, I prefer to do so by writing snarky articles under a pseudonym. What can I say – I’m a leader. Anyway, I wish Linda would say this on her Zoom call:
COACH: Hello everyone, and thanks for taking the time to join in this super important discussion at this critical time in our nation’s history. I’d just like to go around the group, on this Zoom call, so each of us can share their perspective on this super important topic. So why don’t we…
LINDA: *raises her hand excitedly* Ooh – coach! Coach! Can I go first?
COACH: Well, it’s great to see such inspiring leadership from an incoming freshman! Of course, Linda, please share your truth.
LINDA: Awesome! Thanks so much! I think it’s so great that we’re all getting together to discuss this super important topic! We owe it to our fans to make sure they know where we stand on political issues of the day! After all, it’s all about winning another championship! But no matter how passionate I am about this topic, I want to make sure that everyone understands that their point of view will be respected here. We’re all family, and we love and care for each and every one of you. Of course we’re not going to agree about everything over these next four years, and it’s super important that we learn to love and respect one another despite differences in perspective that are bound to come up on various topics. It’s super important that every voice is heard. Even minority voices. Don’t you think?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call spastically nod their heads up and down like trained seals*
LINDA: So let’s start our discussion by having a simple vote, so every voice can be heard. It’s super important that we know where everybody stands, so we can have a real discussion on this super important topic. So let’s have a show of hands. Who out there is in favor of racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call freeze and stare straight ahead, like they’re afraid a motion detector might go off*
LINDA: Come on now – you’re among friends here. We just want to have an open discussion, so we can all learn from one another’s perspectives. That doesn’t work if we won’t share our perspectives. Come on now – everyone in favor of racism please raise your hands.
*After a 10-second pause one girl blinks, and desperately hopes that no one noticed*
LINDA: Um, ok. Well then, is there anyone out there who is against racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call wave their arms over their heads and jump up and down, like they’re trying to hail a cab*
LINDA: Ok. Um… Well, I was hoping for a great discussion today – I thought it would be a great learning opportunity for all of us. But it’s hard to learn anything from a discussion, when you’re talking only to people who think exactly the same way you do. Hopefully, our next four years in college will bring more diversity of thought so we can expand our horizons through a process of reflection and self-exploration, learning from those we disagree with. Hmmm… Well, I guess this turned out to be a pretty short discussion, huh? Ok, coach, is there anything else you wanted to discuss before we adjourn?
Um, coach? Are you ok?
What drives me crazy about the riots in our cities that have been going on for over a month, is that they claim that they’re against white-against-black racism. Which no one is in favor of. Who do they think they’re arguing with? How can an argument destroy a country, when no one argues against them? It’s like screaming at the moon.
If the only way your side can win an argument is by constructing a straw man so ridiculous that even school kids think it’s over the top, then your side should recognize that their arguments are somewhere between silly and toxic. This is poison.
And everyone knows it’s poison. Including Linda. So she won’t read the text I suggested above.
Instead, she’ll give an impassioned speech about how much she hates white people, to prove she doesn’t judge people by the color of their skin. She’ll acknowledge that the only reason she’s a great athlete is because of her white privilege. She’ll say that people who have never owned slaves should give money to people who have never been slaves. She’ll say that systemic racism is invisible and ubiquitous at the same time. I know, I know – but it doesn’t have to make sense. That’s not the point.
The point is, she’s an incredible athlete, and she just wants to play.
So she lies. To everyone and to herself. It’s going to hurt. But she’ll get used to it over time. So she keeps lying, so she can play. After all, there is no other way.
This is poison.
Published in General
Whoa! Absolutely uncalled for. You can’t really make a case for how we should have united if we’re behave like a combative consensus ourselves.
I get that tensions are high. But seriously, relax!
Moderator Note:
Personal AttackREDACTED
CarolJoy,
It seems presumptuous to say anything about Dr. Bastiat’s lifelong path in the medical community. You have lumped him in with a cohort of medical providers with zero facts on any part of his practice, or his interaction with the medical system. You do not know yes or no if he has sacrificed professionally to maintain his career, or how he treats his patients. And frankly that is none of our business.
I think the point of this post was to support a young woman who has an important decision to think through. The thread is quite varied in points of view. However pertinent our devolved medical system is to life and our current times, the direction you have gone in your comments are just not applicable on this thread.
I just can’t believe there is enough information available for you to make any references or accusations related to Bastiat Apples falling from trees.
I beg you stop.
CarolJoy,
You continue with baseless accusations with no standing to substantiate this point of view.
Please stop.
@julespa
A proverb is just that. It has only the meaning an individual would apply to it, in their own life, against their own experiences.
An apple falls not far from the tree.
The parent who has a clear conscience, if such a parent exists, understands that. I assume that Dr Bastiat knows where his daughter might land according to his interactions with her, his family and his day to day life activities.
The reflection and judgement was left up to him.
So at least in that statement on this discussion, I was not being judgemental. If you took it that way, I guess I apologize for not being clearer. Same apology goes – only more so – if Dr Bastiat took it that way.
@caroljoy I agree with your proverb and the defense of it. I guess my point was your comments implied that the Bastiat tree was bad because Dr. Bastiat is a doctor.
I think there is always more to any story, especially on the internet.
From what I’ve known of Dr. Bastiat’s posts and comments, I’d say that’s a good tree, and that young Bastiat will navigate through life in a positive way.
I think we are better for Dr. Bastiat’s post that stimulated conversation toward the ideas of soul crushing compelled speech, bullying tactics, truth, integrity, leadership, sacrifice, and knowing when to hold ’em and knowing when to fold ’em.
Best to you Young Bastiat. Be Strong and of Great Courage.
Whoa!
@drbastiat
Have you seen that the NBA has an approved list of phrases for player jerseys?
and that the Women’s league may follow suit?
What are the chances this mindset and hive mind bleeds down to the NCAA?
@caroljoy
Your relentless personal tirade against Dr. Bastiat needs to end right now. Being concerned about about consensus among physicians is one thing, but you are blatantly attacking a decent man just for being a doctor. You do not know about how he treats his patients and he cannot tell you because of HIPPA. If you had spoken in general terms on another thread, your arguments would be respected, but here I am going to mass redact them.
EDIT:
I see that you have deleted the personal attacks and ascribing bad experiences with doctors to Dr. Bastiat.
Not sure where the “Whoa” is coming from.
The words that the example of a parent’s activities are more important than the words is a basic tenet of psychology.
A parent who says “Go to school; work hard; study hard” and lies around in a drunken stupor is not gonna convince their offspring to do those things on the basis of the daily admonitions.
The child, if lucky, will have some other informative parental figure come into their life and will do all those things as they are now encouraged by the other parental figure. Or perhaps the child will do those “work hard” “study hard” things as they see first hand the direct consequences of not doing those things.
If nne of that happens, they may follow in the drunken sot’s addicted habits and not have too good a life.
Sometimes the word/activity thing is harder to figure out. A woman grows up in a house where there’s a happy marriage and Dad is always telling Mom how much love he has for her. Of course, she wants someone like her Dad.
She starts out dating a solid steady guy named Eddie who is also rather quiet.
Without knowing on any conscious level why, she drops him for Samson, who is talkative.
This male tells her she is pretty; talks endlessly about his great love for her. He also starts to beat her up repeatedly after they are married and she is pregnant.
She’d have been better off with steady Eddie, although she may have needed to patiently guide him into opening up a bit more. Two or 3 Samson’s down the line, she may finally get into therapy and get this figured out.
Kids ape what they like about us, and fall into a rut of resisting what they don’t. Sure words are important. We know that by hearing from people who have never been told by a parent they are loved.
That would not surprise me one bit. Competitive virtue signaling.
I don’t think the sailing around the world example is a good analogy. We’re talking about recommending that a 17-year-old girl take a stand on principle, not confirming a physical fact. Taking a stand on principle is moral advice, and for moral advice to be valuable, it should come from someone who follows it personally. Thus, if you are going to recommend that a person take a stand on principle, you should be demonstrating a willingness to take a similar stand yourself. If you aren’t even close to taking a similar stand, you should not make comments that imply that a person is somehow failing to live up to principles in not taking the stand. This just sounds like hypocrisy to me.
The dissidents analogy would work if the dissidents were in fact saying to each other, “Time for you to take your stand on principal and risk your life, as we have all implicitly agreed to do by joining this dissident movement”—and if the girl were in fact a member of the movement.
But she isn’t a member of this dissident movement. Using the terms of your analogy, she is outside the movement, being told to join it and give up her identity all in one go by dissidents who continue to maintain their secret status. Since this girl hasn’t yet chosen this lifestyle, it’s wrong for the dissidents to even suggest that she should.
If you want to propose other analogies, I’m open to them. Thanks.
[Deleted]
Sorry I’ve been out of touch. Travelling.
My daughter’s Zoom call was 2 days ago, and it went well. There were about 20 of them on the call, and her plan was to lay low. Several of the girls were extremely eager to proclaim their faith in a ubiquitous, destructive force which they’ve never seen and can’t describe. It’s tough for a 20 year old today to point to specific cases of racism. But they did the best they could.
Linda played the shy incoming freshman, made a few brief comments when directly called upon (She stated that she was opposed to racism.), and basically sat there and nodded gravely for an hour and a half.
Some may find her approach to be intellectually dishonest and cowardly. Others may think that she dodged a bullet and can now fight another day, when she has more authority.
But Linda is extremely relieved to have it over with.
She just wants to play.
I’m glad it is over for her and hopefully she can just play ball.
Thank you, Doc, for the follow-up. Sure am glad she survived. Grieve over the necessity.
It’s not intellectually dishonest. She is against racism. One of the biggest mistakes one can make is to engage in battle at every opportunity. Pick your fights. The overriding principle is that you don’t rely on being the probable winner. You want to be the inevitable one. If it ends up being a fair fight, your planning was off.
You gettin’ all this down, Donald?
Thanks for the update. It sounds like it was a long but essentially benign experience. I’m glad she was able to say she’s against racism and not be challenged to be actively anti-racist. Let’s hope that this was pro forma and that this is the end of it.
Sounds like she handled it appropriately.
Sounds like she did a good job!
Im so happy to hear this. And glad the bullies did not attack her or press. May she continue to have the opportunity to be honest, and respected for the content of her character.
Sounds great. As long as she didn’t lie, she can retain her integrity to fight another day. I hope I am wrong and she can just focus on the game but I don’t think we can be that lucky. But that’s a future problem.
I think retaining her integrity will be what remains with her throughout her life.