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Combative Consensus Crushes Souls
My daughter came downstairs crying this morning. Linda (not her real name) is a very mature 17 years old, not prone to emotional outbursts. She starts college in the fall, as a scholarship athlete at a major Division I school (you’ll be seeing her on TV in a couple years). Anyway, her coach sent out an email this morning saying that their team was going to release a statement affirming their belief in Black Lives Matter, and that each kid on the team would have the opportunity to record a video expressing their support for the movement. They are having a Zoom call in a couple of days for the coaches and athletes to express their feelings on this matter to one another. Linda is not stupid, and understands her position here: “If I don’t talk about how much I hate white people, including myself, then my whole team will hate me before we even start practice! All I can do is repeat what everybody else says, no matter how ridiculous it is! Why do I have to lie about politics to be allowed to play a sport? What does this have to do with anything? I don’t care what color anybody is! Can’t we just leave it at that? This SUCKS!”
It’s difficult to watch your kid struggle, especially when they really are in an impossible situation. She’s right. She’s stuck. There is no way out other than lying, repeatedly and sincerely, in public, to her friends. The lying will hurt, but there is no other way. So that is what she will do. Again, Linda is not stupid. But just to calm my anger over this, I thought I would sit down for a few minutes and compose a speech that she could give on this Zoom call to her team. She probably won’t use this. Not even small parts of it. But I’ll feel better when I’m done. When I courageously stand up to fascism, I prefer to do so by writing snarky articles under a pseudonym. What can I say – I’m a leader. Anyway, I wish Linda would say this on her Zoom call:
COACH: Hello everyone, and thanks for taking the time to join in this super important discussion at this critical time in our nation’s history. I’d just like to go around the group, on this Zoom call, so each of us can share their perspective on this super important topic. So why don’t we…
LINDA: *raises her hand excitedly* Ooh – coach! Coach! Can I go first?
COACH: Well, it’s great to see such inspiring leadership from an incoming freshman! Of course, Linda, please share your truth.
LINDA: Awesome! Thanks so much! I think it’s so great that we’re all getting together to discuss this super important topic! We owe it to our fans to make sure they know where we stand on political issues of the day! After all, it’s all about winning another championship! But no matter how passionate I am about this topic, I want to make sure that everyone understands that their point of view will be respected here. We’re all family, and we love and care for each and every one of you. Of course we’re not going to agree about everything over these next four years, and it’s super important that we learn to love and respect one another despite differences in perspective that are bound to come up on various topics. It’s super important that every voice is heard. Even minority voices. Don’t you think?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call spastically nod their heads up and down like trained seals*
LINDA: So let’s start our discussion by having a simple vote, so every voice can be heard. It’s super important that we know where everybody stands, so we can have a real discussion on this super important topic. So let’s have a show of hands. Who out there is in favor of racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call freeze and stare straight ahead, like they’re afraid a motion detector might go off*
LINDA: Come on now – you’re among friends here. We just want to have an open discussion, so we can all learn from one another’s perspectives. That doesn’t work if we won’t share our perspectives. Come on now – everyone in favor of racism please raise your hands.
*After a 10-second pause one girl blinks, and desperately hopes that no one noticed*
LINDA: Um, ok. Well then, is there anyone out there who is against racism?
*All 25 people on the Zoom call wave their arms over their heads and jump up and down, like they’re trying to hail a cab*
LINDA: Ok. Um… Well, I was hoping for a great discussion today – I thought it would be a great learning opportunity for all of us. But it’s hard to learn anything from a discussion, when you’re talking only to people who think exactly the same way you do. Hopefully, our next four years in college will bring more diversity of thought so we can expand our horizons through a process of reflection and self-exploration, learning from those we disagree with. Hmmm… Well, I guess this turned out to be a pretty short discussion, huh? Ok, coach, is there anything else you wanted to discuss before we adjourn?
Um, coach? Are you ok?
What drives me crazy about the riots in our cities that have been going on for over a month, is that they claim that they’re against white-against-black racism. Which no one is in favor of. Who do they think they’re arguing with? How can an argument destroy a country, when no one argues against them? It’s like screaming at the moon.
If the only way your side can win an argument is by constructing a straw man so ridiculous that even school kids think it’s over the top, then your side should recognize that their arguments are somewhere between silly and toxic. This is poison.
And everyone knows it’s poison. Including Linda. So she won’t read the text I suggested above.
Instead, she’ll give an impassioned speech about how much she hates white people, to prove she doesn’t judge people by the color of their skin. She’ll acknowledge that the only reason she’s a great athlete is because of her white privilege. She’ll say that people who have never owned slaves should give money to people who have never been slaves. She’ll say that systemic racism is invisible and ubiquitous at the same time. I know, I know – but it doesn’t have to make sense. That’s not the point.
The point is, she’s an incredible athlete, and she just wants to play.
So she lies. To everyone and to herself. It’s going to hurt. But she’ll get used to it over time. So she keeps lying, so she can play. After all, there is no other way.
This is poison.
Published in General
Dr. Bastiat, do not let her lie, it will come back to bite her in the future. You need to tell her teacher you will not allow a video of your daughter for any reason. Demand to know if her participation in this video is a requirement of her scholarship? You put your foot down and not leave it to her to lie. Politics should not be a part of a scholarship, and demand an accounting from the teacher.
Look at the current crop of well known people being destroyed by stupid stuff from college year books. Please, please keep her honest by your intervention.
You are her father and she is under 18. Put a stop to this, maybe other parents will chime in.
Then again, it may not come to this. After the missives that were coming from my department chair a few weeks, I was afraid I was going to be asked to sign some sort of loyalty oath. I made up my mind I would not. Well, it came this week. It was a statement the department was putting out and I was not required to sign it. It supported the usual things-diversity and inclusion and the right for people to be in a non-hostile work environment. It also had two items about fully supporting free speech, including diverse viewpoints. There wasn’t anything in it that I didn’t support in the abstract, so it may be that the actual event won’t require her to prostrate herself at the BLM alter and profess her hatred for all things white. We can always hope.
I wish the best for her.
I was raised a Southern Baptist. In PE in the 7th grade, we had a “learn to dance” pod. It lasted two weeks. Since dancing was against our religion, my pastor’s son and I were excused, and assigned to write a report on the history of dance. I mentioned it in passing one night at dinner. The next day, my father was in the PE teacher’s office, in uniform, explaining why he didn’t think this was a good idea. He could be forceful. I essentially got two weeks of free time to read whatever I wanted in the library.
I haven’t read all the comments, but Maybe she couldn’t sardonically give support for BLM, saying that, yes, she supports BLM and the Marxist-training of the BLM founders, and that she views social change the way the BLM protester in CHAZ said, tearing donw society and using marvelous black minds to rebuild it, and that she looks forward to the burning down of the country as Hawk Newsome says, and that she supports the destruction of the nuclear family as the BLM website says, and so forth.
If she lies today she’ll be lying for the next four years , and the next twenty years after that.
I hope she doesn’t. I hope she says, “I don’t want to record a video because you won’t like what I’m going to say.” Leave it at that, then see what happens. Be true to yourself. Okay, white lies are exempt, such as the answer to “Does this dress make me look fat?”
But to make a statement that goes against what one thinks and believes, or if one has no opinion whatsoever, it will be hard to live with yourself after that.
If she wanted to be courageous (something politicians dread), she could say on the video, “I don’t support Black Lives Matter because it was founded by three black, Marxist lesbian teenagers years ago, and was hijacked by George Soros and now antifa is involved.”
Here’s
for you and your family. I’m sorry your daughter is having to deal with something like this. Situations like these are never fun or easy. :(
I don’t remember who said it, and I’m going by memory, but it’s not enough that you keep silent when lies are told. They have to make you tell them, and agree to them, and that’s soul destroying.
The granddaughter of a friend is stuck with the same problem at a college in Texas.
Can she contact the coach before hand and read to the coach some of the incendiary items from the “what we believe” section of the Black Lives Matter organization’s website (such as opposition to the family, exclusion of black men from society, etc.) and ask the coach if the coach really thinks it’s a good idea to support such things?
Or maybe she could read those things without expressing an opinion on the Zoom call – this is what Black Lives Matter stands for.
Or, as noted above, the coach is compelling speech, which is of course pure bullying and harassment. Most schools have anti-bullying provisions, so the coach can be reported to the formal administrative procedures. Unfortunately though, the woke crowd have been busy turning bullying and harassment into virtues, so anti-bullying provisions have lost force in recent years.
If the school is a government school, what the coach is doing is clearly illegal viewpoint discrimination. Unfortunately, the only real remedy is long-lasting litigation.
Is it possible for her to defer her enrollment for a year and still keep the scholarship (perhaps using Wuhan virus concerns as an excuse)?
Right as she is ready to speak unplug the computer and pretend she had a technical malfunction and wasn’t able join back in the Zoom.
Or just say that “I came here to play a sport. I presume the rest of you did too. Making any statement on any topic other than our sport is inconsistent with our efforts to play this sport at the highest possible level [optional snark – and such off-topic statements reflect badly on the commitment of the speaker to this sport].”
Maybe it’s time for her to be away on that long-deferred backpacking trip to the wilderness where there is no cell service.
That was going to be my suggestion.
Afternooon again Dr. Bastiat,
You have had lots of encouraging comments, we hate the position you and especially your daughter are in. This is a rather long essay by Vaclav Havel in 1978 on just this topic https://s3.amazonaws.com/Random_Public_Files/powerless.pdf
Perhaps it might offer some thoughts on the choice and its costs. At least mention to your daughter that we are with her and are not thinking this is easy.
So, I’ve read through all the comments. And I agree in principle with all the ones saying that she should not lie, etc. etc.
But it’s your daughter. And she wants to play – and there is an extremely limited opportunity to play at that level.
And obviously, I don’t use my real name here anymore, so I’m not a fortress of principled behavior myself.
I am very sorry for her being forced into this position. I’m very sorry your entire family, because obviously this isn’t just affecting her.
Going to another school – well, there are only so many DI schools, and only so many that have a good program in her sport I’m betting. And even where I work, where we represent 250 smaller schools (D2, D3 size) athletic programs, most of them private and of a religious nature — well, I’m not sure she wouldn’t be faced with the same issue at any of them.
She should do what she thinks best after some thought and consultation with family.
And then be at peace with the decision, as we all know there are many battles ahead.
I sent an email to my HR representative saying I didn’t agree with our “show of support for Black Lives Matter”. I stated they didn’t share our values as an organization. The email I received back was full of management speak and said nothing about the BLM movement. I find it hard to believe they don’t understand who these people are and what they represent. I am at the end of my career so I feel freer to speak my mind, but it’s not right that your daughter should be compelled to make a statement she doesn’t agree with. There has to be some recourse. Then again, like @percival, I don’t have kids, either and it’s probably a good thing.
This is sort of the high school version of what was done to Sebastian Haffner’s father in the early days of Nazi-ruled Germany: Sell Your Soul or Lose Your Livelihood.
I like this approach. How about this:
“I came here to play sports, not politics. I find the idea of a team being compelled to release a statement in support of one position over the other an infringement on our rights to free speech, which includes the right not to speak at all, or to have speech – like this team statement – assigned to us as if we said it. It’s just wrong, and we should not say anything on the issue.”
If they yank her scholarship, then find a good lawyer . . .
Why is this coach doing this to “his” girls? He has to know goddamn well that this setup is coercive.
Is this someone you want to play a perhaps important role in her future? Is he someone she would like to have in that role?
Doc, you can afford to send her to any school she is smart enough to get into. She’s probably good enough to join “the team” wherever she goes.
The athletic scholarship is a trophy. She earned it. The fact that she earned it can’t be taken away, even if she chooses not to use it.
Neither of you need this exercise in self-abasement.
I think this is the gist of it. It’s not about lawyering up.
For an excuse for @drbastiat to become involved: presumably @drbastiat also signed the scholarship contract, so material changes to the contract (mandating statements unrelated to the sport) require the approval of @drbastiat. (edited because my first attempt got mangled in posting.)
This is an interesting thing for Daughter to contemplate – if coach is doing this now, what other unprincipled things might coach demand in the future? Coach clearly has either no or bad principles. Where else will that lack of principles lead?
My sympathies to your daughter and you, doc. The fascistic demands for the 2-minute hate are corrosive and your poor daughter has no good choices made available to her. This is merely the latest effort to crush any who argue with the Marxist’s attempts to destroy the social cohesion of our country.
https://legalinsurrection.com/2020/07/student-who-questioned-blm-is-no-longer-enrolled-at-university-after-outcry/
For all we know, the coach may have been pressured into this by administration. He may feel he has no choice, either. I know I’ve seen plenty of Facebook posts by the 3 D1 schools in the RDU area with athletes showing their support for BLM. It may even be an NCAA thing. Still doesn’t make it right.
I was listening to the radio this morning. Of course it is Saturday and also the fourth. They do infomercials on Saturday and a wealth management guy told it like it is about BLM and George Floyd and some other issues. When he was finished he said if you don’t like what he said don’t deal with him. I wrote down his number and am going to give him some business. I think the back lash is starting.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
If there’s going to be a lie I’d rather it was “I had computer problems and couldn’t get connected to the call.”
But “My father wouldn’t let me” is even better, especially if true.
This would be my approach to the issue at hand until the sanity of society returns.
Lord knows I have be dodging all of the “invitations” at my federal employer to join a HR guided sessions in “Diversity and Inclusion”. I did one ten years ago and trying to suggest that we all be judged by our talents and abilities. Yes it did not go well, and I have studiously avoid any more programming.
But my absence to the any of the “internal learning“ opportunities has been noted. I annually plead during my reviews that the flights mission comes first on my calendar. I retire within the year and I peaked out before it could damage me promotion wise.
Good luck threading this needle for the next 40 years.