Contributor Post Created with Sketch. Hurting the Most Vulnerable: ‘Rehoming’ an Adopted Child

 

James and Myka Stauffer.
The hardest thing I’ve ever done is forgive the people that put my son up for adoption.

YouTube and Instagram mom Myka Stauffer was famous for her sunny, positive online presence. Her perpetually coiffed and photogenic family could have easily been mistaken for models in a Williams Sonoma catalog, and it earned her lucrative partnership deals with major companies. But on May 26, Stauffer uploaded an unusual YouTube video: a tearful explanation of why she had “rehomed” her special needs child, which she has adopted from China two-and-a-half years earlier. Within 36 hours, the announcement triggered negative articles in People, Cosmopolitan, Buzzfeed, and dozens of other publications.

The general reaction was rage at a seemingly selfish, well-off family adopting a special needs child in an effort to build Internet clout for cash, but then jettison him when things got inconvenient.

I understood the rage, but for me, the story was like the re-opening of a painful cut. I have been on the other end of a “rehoming” adoption, and the resulting trauma to the child can be catastrophic. I had worked for years to forgive the family that “rehomed” my son—in other words, they gave him up for me.

Like Stauffer, I am the parent of a large family with a mix of biological children and adopted children with special needs from foreign countries. When she cries about her (now former) special needs child, I understand her pain.

But no matter my sympathy for her plight, I cannot ignore a simple ethical fact:

Rehoming is monstrous.

The vast majority of adoptions feature no villains. For people who are in impossible situations, such as extreme poverty, illness, addiction, imprisonment, or the death of one or both of the parents, adoption may very well be the least harmful of the available solutions. But “rehoming”—a somewhat euphemistic term for adopting a child, and then putting that same child up for adoption again—is not one of these least-bad choices. Rather, it’s an avoidable, typically unnecessary, and extraordinarily evil thing.

The Stauffers are being slammed by the media because they are minor celebrities, but their story is not uncommon. While reliable statistics on rehoming are not available, it is likely that thousands of children are rehomed in the United States every year. Some are rehomed multiple times. Special needs children are especially likely to be rehomed.

The stories of rehoming—in my experience—go something like this.

A well-meaning, relatively wealthy American family decides that they want to save the world. And of course, look great while doing so. What better way to do so than to adopt a child?

But not just any adoption. International adoption. And perhaps not just any international adoption, but a special needs international adoption. Even people with pure motives will understand—at least subconsciously—that there is not much you can do to earn praise than to adopt a special needs child from another country.

The process of adoption is difficult, expensive, and takes years to complete. However, for those years, you have never felt more important and energized. Your friends and family are behind you 100 percent. Everyone tells you what a great person you are for doing it.

When the child comes home, there is a honeymoon period that lasts several months. There are struggles and hard times, sure, but you have been fattened up with confidence from a few years of everyone telling you that you are the best. Moreover, once at home, people stop you on the street and congratulate you for adopting a special needs child (they can usually guess that the child is adopted when the whole family is white but the kid in the wheelchair is brown). You get used to the fact that when you dine out at restaurants, there is a good chance that—at the end of the meal—the waiter will announce that an anonymous patron has paid for your meal.

My wife has even had people approach her on the street and empty out their wallets for her, in tears. More than once.

So at this point, you are feeling pretty good about yourself.

But then the reality sets in, the honeymoon ends, and things start to get hard.

The special needs child you adopted has—wait for it—special needs. A lot of special needs. 24/7 line-of-sight care special needs. The child might even be a danger to themselves or others.

While special needs are challenging enough, this child has also experienced tremendous loss and trauma in his life. Reactive Attachment Disorder—or RAD—is terrifying. RAD happens when young children, due to the trauma they have encountered in their most vulnerable years, become incapable of forming emotional attachments to their caregiver. This is a somewhat clinical way of describing children who may have violent mood-swings, a joyless demeanor, and no interest in typical child play.

You might start telling yourself stories. Maybe the child will be better off somewhere else? Maybe another parent can actually connect with this child? So you might call up a rehoming agency and fill out some paperwork. Within months—far shorter than the years spent in international adoption—the child is gone. You wish him well, and you tell yourself that you made a hard choice, but ultimately the right one.

The problem is solved from your end. But for the child, it is a different story. That child—the child that arguably is the most vulnerable and oppressed child in the world, as a disabled orphan in a poverty-stricken country—has been re-victimized. Let us review the trauma that has been imposed on the child in his first few years of life:

Loss of birth parents. Loss of birth siblings.

Being placed in an orphanage. Perhaps a second orphanage, or a third. At some orphanages, he might be beaten, ignored, or otherwise abused. At some orphanages, he might try to make emotional connections with his caregiver, only to be ripped away and sent somewhere else. Each instance of abuse—and each emotional connection severed—is another loss to mourn.

He finally makes it to his forever home! But it is with people who have strange, white skin; they do not look like him. They do not even speak his language. These strangers take him on a plane to a new country, with a new language, new food, new sights, and new smells.

He starts to learn the language and connect with his new caregivers, who he calls “mom and dad.” It is difficult, but he tries his hardest to connect.

But his long history of loss resurfaces. He suffers from nightmares, anxiety, outbursts. When offered food, he might lash out, because in his deep subconscious, he remembers being beaten by the person who gave him food long ago.

Now, after years of learning to adjust to this new family, he is “rehomed.” He is taken from “mom and dad” and flown on another plane to a new state, where he calls new people “mom and dad.” All of the emotional connections he tried to make with his adopted parents and siblings are now severed.

Hopefully, he will not be “rehomed” again. But he might be. Each lost connection another trauma.

This story is personal for me because I have adopted, including a “rehoming” adoption in America. My adopted children have experienced trauma, but the wounds on the rehomed one are of a different magnitude.

The worst part is that the crime of rehoming is avoidable with the proper education. On Instagram, Stauffer wrote that she wished “autism and adoption trauma had a manual to direct you through it all.”

In fact, there is such a manual. The late Dr. Karyn Purvis pioneered treatment for RAD and other adoption pathologies at Texas Christian University over the several decades of her career. Now, the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development is the gold standard for coaching adoptive parents.

Adoption is not a fun, happy, Instagram-worthy journey. Adoptive parents need to understand the possibilities for RAD and the strategies for helping their children heal before they choose to adopt. And once an adoption is finalized, parents need to read the books, attend the conferences, and partner with experts. Yes, it is a lot of work, but this is now your child, and the rehoming cop-out is not an acceptable path. Causing more harm to a child already aching with pain is not OK.

But I forgive the Stauffers and every other parent that has unnecessarily given up their child for adoption. Not because they deserve it, but because unforgiveness is a prison.

I had to learn to forgive the adoptive parents of my son, which was such a monumental task that I started praying about it several months before the adoption occurred. I had to meet the woman who was abandoning my boy, and spend a weekend with her to complete the “transition.” This woman had found the most vulnerable person she could find—an adorable, disabled African boy—and brought him to America. He loved her and called her “mama.” He loved his siblings. But his physical and mental delays were too much for them, and so more trauma was imposed on him. His first night with us—strangers to him—he cried for hours. But I must forgive his first adoptive parents and refuse to judge them in any manner; if I did not, I would be perpetually overcome with anger.

Now, years later, my boy is trying hard and doing very well, but he might not ever fully recover from his childhood trauma. The thing about childhood trauma is that it keeps coming back again and again as you get older. The remembrance of loss for a 10-year-old is different than that of an 18-year-old, and the child needs to mourn in different ways depending on their age.

But there is no other choice for these rehomed children. As parents, we must love and support them for their entire lives, no matter the struggles or developmental delays. Any measure of breakthrough, no matter how small or temporary—is worth it.


Jarvis Best is the pseudonym of an attorney and writer.

Published in Entertainment, General
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  1. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I have seen all sorts of trauma in my time. Being rejected by your parents is at the top of the list with sexual molestation. 

    Bless you. Praying for your family. 

    • #1
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:13 PM PDT
    • 22 likes
  2. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    I’ve never heard of “rehoming.”

    It sounds to be quite possibly the most unconscionable selfish act. 

    • #2
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:17 PM PDT
    • 11 likes
  3. Henry Racette Contributor

    I think this is an important post and one worth reading and pondering. Thank you for writing it.

    We were adoptive parents, with three of our six children coming from Asian countries. They had no special needs: we were blessed with three healthy, wonderfully strong and stable adopted children.

    I understand how parents can believe that they have the skills and the strength to take on a challenge they may not fully understand. My wife and I came precariously close to doing that ourselves, before deciding that the risk was simply too great. Children are small and unformed, after all: how much could have gone wrong in such a young life that two loving and attentive parents with some experience raising their own children can’t put right? Love cures everything. How hard can it be?

    But it can be extraordinarily hard.

    I appreciate your point about the trauma and the pain that a disrupted or dissolved adoption may impose on the adopted child. But I can’t agree that it’s monstrous, not unless it’s done casually and as a matter of convenience. Families can be torn apart by the challenge of raising a seriously disturbed child, particularly one who may pose a threat to other children.

    I’m sure there are people who adopt for status, or for some odd thrill. I’m sure there are those who give up children, their own or adopted children, out of selfishness and a desire to return to an easier life. But I think that’s pretty rare, and I think most parents who give up an adopted child probably agonize over it — perhaps as much as the birth parent(s) agonized over it, perhaps more.

    Again, terrific post. Thank you for sharing so much.

    • #3
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:20 PM PDT
    • 18 likes
  4. OmegaPaladin Moderator

    Well, I will put it this way: if parents cannot cope with a child, it is better that the child is rehomed before parents do something outright evil like abuse or neglect the child. Obviously, that means they should not adopt any more children, and is a massive confession of failure as a parent.

    I have also heard that in some cases adoption agencies do not mention the true level of pathology present in the child up for adoption. Someone prepared for a mentally and physically handicapped child might not be ready for a child with severe RAD, dangerously violent temper, or callous personality disorder (aka pre-sociopathy). The moral of the story is do not do a foreign adoption unless you have extremely thorough documention or are prepared for every parent’s nightmare brought to life.

    I’m guessing Bethany invited you on the site to contribute this article. Welcome to Ricochet. Forgive me if I do not polish your halo for being so superior to other people. People literally throw money at you for having a disabled adopted child? You must live in a completely different world from me.

    • #4
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:35 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  5. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    This really irks Me.

    This sugar coating misnomer “rehoming” should really be called what it is: reabandoning.

    • #5
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:42 PM PDT
    • 8 likes
  6. Aaron Miller Member
    Aaron Miller Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Is this separate from the foster care system? I was familiar with foster kids being passed around because of attachment disorders, but had never heard of “rehoming” an adopted child.

    Henry Racette (View Comment):
    We were adoptive parents, with three of our six children coming from Asian countries. They had no special needs: we were blessed with three healthy, wonderfully strong and stable adopted children.

    Does adopting more than one child help them to socialize? It would seem that way at least a sibling understands what he or she is going through. 

    @stad also might be able to address that question. 

    • #6
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:45 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  7. Lilly B Coolidge

    I am so sorry for your son’s trauma and loss. He is lucky to have you, but of course his past will shape him as he grows up. My parents adopted my sister, after bringing her into their home as a foster child. I just pulled up Ricochet thinking I needed to write about her adoption when I saw your post. I recently read that the school closings all over the country are reducing the chances that children in abusive homes will be noticed and helped. It’s likely that my sister and her siblings were saved from extreme poverty and abuse (in America) because her oldest sister was school-aged. I’ll save the details for a separate post, but I am commenting here because I have witnessed the psychological baggage that she has carried throughout her life as a result of the adoption itself. Thankfully, she was not physically disabled, and thankfully, my parents (my mother especially) managed to handle the challenges of educating and raising her. I cannot imagine what would have happened to her or to our family if they had given up. One of her biological brothers suffered through failed foster homes, but he also eventually found a supportive family and home. Now they both have spouses and families of their own. Surely there’s still trauma, but there is also triumph over the past.

    • #7
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:45 PM PDT
    • 13 likes
  8. Vance Richards Inactive
    Vance Richards Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Jarvis Best: But his long history of loss resurfaces. He suffers from nightmares, anxiety, outbursts. When offered food, he might lash out, because in his deep subconscious, he remembers being beaten by the person who gave him food long ago.

    Even in the best situation there will be emotional scars, abandonment and trust issues, then when you add in special needs . . .

    It must be unbelievably hard, but once you commit you are responsible for that young life. Not something you do for a few extra likes on YouTube.

    • #8
    • May 28, 2020, at 6:58 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  9. Lois Lane Coolidge

    Very engaging post. It reminds one that there are plenty of things in life that are way more important than politics.

    • #9
    • May 28, 2020, at 7:07 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
  10. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge

    This is the reason many wish to abort special needs children before they are born.

    • #10
    • May 28, 2020, at 8:09 PM PDT
    • Like
  11. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):

    I’ve never heard of “rehoming.”

    It sounds to be quite possibly the most unconscionable selfish act.

    Me neither. I had no idea that was an option. What, is there some sort of five-year warranty like with a new car?

    Gross.

    • #11
    • May 28, 2020, at 8:23 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  12. The Cloaked Gaijin Member

    I would think that it would take a very special person to raise a special needs child.

    I would think that that special person is probably NOT going to be a young YouTube and Instagram star. Perhaps a person who has one child could do something like this, but it takes time and effort to be involved in YouTube and Instagram.

    I know at some times that there is a controversy regarding homosexuals adopting kids. Well, every situation is different. Who is going to be good for an 18-year or lifetime commitment of adopting a child? Two homosexual men in their 20s who are out partying every other night or two older lesbians in their mid 40s?

    A very religious person I know and her husband adopted a child from a foreign country. I don’t remember all the details, but the child’s natural-born brother was in a wheelchair his entire life due to the amount of drugs that the mother had taken when she was pregnant. I don’t know or want to remember all the details, but the daughter they adopted apparently became bi-polar. Everything would be fine for awhile then she would threaten to kill her adopted parents one night with a knife. The daughter is grown now. The parents eventually had to adopt the daughter’s first child, their grandchild, as their own child. I know of another family who had to do the same thing. I think special needs also require a certain amount of income. Someone mentioned to me once that it is wealthy NFL quarterbacks like Doug Flutie, Boomer Easiason, Jim Kelley, Rodney Peete, and Dan Marino that often have autistic sons. Well, at least a player in that star quarterback position should have enough money to make things a bit easier.

    Decades ago when my mother was a teacher often the grandparents were the ones who acted as the child’s parents or guardians. I know there were at least two cases where the student’s great-grandparent was the one who had to take care of the child as the grandparents were also not able to get their lives together.

    There is a comedian who once said that he could never understand how a parent could get angry with their kids in public. Now he that he has his own kids he does not understand why this does not happen more often, and he took a vow to try never to criticize someone else’s parenting skills ever again.

    • #12
    • May 28, 2020, at 8:25 PM PDT
    • 2 likes
  13. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):

    Well, I will put it this way: if parents cannot cope with a child, it is better that the child is rehomed before parents do something outright evil like abuse or neglect the child. Obviously, that means they should not adopt any more children, and is a massive confession of failure as a parent.

    I have also heard that in some cases adoption agencies do not mention the true level of pathology present in the child up for adoption. Someone prepared for a mentally and physically handicapped child might not be ready for a child with severe RAD, dangerously violent temper, or callous personality disorder (aka pre-sociopathy). The moral of the story is do not do a foreign adoption unless you have extremely thorough documention or are prepared for every parent’s nightmare brought to life.

    I’m guessing Bethany invited you on the site to contribute this article. Welcome to Ricochet. Forgive me if I do not polish your halo for being so superior to other people. People literally throw money at you for having a disabled adopted child? You must live in a completely different world from me.

    These are valid and serious points, but I guess I don’t understand the animosity in your final paragraph. It’s not like Jarvis and his wife are out trolling for sympathy cash (or whatever). And is a connection to Bethany significant to the story?

    • #13
    • May 28, 2020, at 8:27 PM PDT
    • 5 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  14. Manny Member

    Jarvis Best:

    Rehoming is monstrous.

     

    Absolutely! That is horrendous. The poor kid has absolutely no idea what is happening to him. That makes my blood boil. 

    By the way, I speak as a parent who has adopted. That’s my adopted son in the avatar.

    God bless for forgiving the previous parents but more importantly for adopting the child.

    And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me. (Matt 18:5)

    • #14
    • May 28, 2020, at 8:29 PM PDT
    • Like
  15. Vince Guerra Member

    We adopted two special needs children from Eastern Europe eight years ago. There was no honeymoon period, the day we picked them up and got them into our hotel room in Eastern Europe for the two weeks of exit procedures the nightmare began. One child has RAD, the other has FAS and an obvious history of abusive. Both created a secondary trauma upon our other four kids and upended our household routines.

    Eight years later our children still have not healed.

    To say that “rehoming” is monstrous is oversimplifying a difficult issue that we should be compassionate and not prejudicial about. I can easily see a number of issues where rehoming would be a benefit to the child and the original family (sexual predation being one of them), and I have friends who have had to do this.

    Adoptive parents need support, not condescension and scorn from others who cannot possibly know what they’ve gone through.

    Often the “support” that others offer causes more harm than good, and most of the resources out there were wholly inadequate for what we experienced. My wife wrote a book in order to give a voice to adoptive parents like us and to educate others as to how they can help adoptive parents get through that struggle with their marriages, families, social structure, and the adoption still in tact.

    • #15
    • May 28, 2020, at 10:41 PM PDT
    • 17 likes
    • This comment has been edited.
  16. philo Member

    Jarvis Best: …typically unnecessary…

    Many good, insightful words in this piece with little wiggle room…except maybe two. It would be nice to know more about this specific case before jumping on the outrage bandwagon.

    • #16
    • May 29, 2020, at 5:20 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  17. Nerina Bellinger Member

    Manny (View Comment):

    Jarvis Best:

    Rehoming is monstrous.

     

    Absolutely! That is horrendous. The poor kid has absolutely no idea what is happening to him. That makes my blood boil.

    By the way, I speak as a parent who has adopted. That’s my adopted son in the avatar.

    God bless for forgiving the previous parents but more importantly for adopting the child.

    And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me. (Matt 18:5)

    @manny, I love your avatar – it never fails to make me smile!

    • #17
    • May 29, 2020, at 6:49 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  18. Hammer, The Member

    I haven’t made it through the whole thing just yet… it’s hard to read lengthy articles at work. (I am one to talk!)

    I have an extreme dislike for the use of that term, “rehoming.” I’ve seen it used with dogs or cats, and that is where it should remain.

    Jarvis, out of curiosity, what is the focus of your legal practice?

    • #18
    • May 29, 2020, at 9:53 AM PDT
    • Like
  19. OmegaPaladin Moderator

    Charlotte (View Comment):

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):

    Well, I will put it this way: if parents cannot cope with a child, it is better that the child is rehomed before parents do something outright evil like abuse or neglect the child. Obviously, that means they should not adopt any more children, and is a massive confession of failure as a parent.

    I have also heard that in some cases adoption agencies do not mention the true level of pathology present in the child up for adoption. Someone prepared for a mentally and physically handicapped child might not be ready for a child with severe RAD, dangerously violent temper, or callous personality disorder (aka pre-sociopathy). The moral of the story is do not do a foreign adoption unless you have extremely thorough documention or are prepared for every parent’s nightmare brought to life.

    I’m guessing Bethany invited you on the site to contribute this article. Welcome to Ricochet. Forgive me if I do not polish your halo for being so superior to other people. People literally throw money at you for having a disabled adopted child? You must live in a completely different world from me.

    These are valid and serious points, but I guess I don’t understand the animosity in your final paragraph. It’s not like Jarvis and his wife are out trolling for sympathy cash (or whatever). And is a connection to Bethany significant to the story?

    I was trying to balance my role as a member of the site staff with with my criticism of the story. Jon and Bethany are above me in the hierarchy of Ricochet. I am bound to respect their decisions as part of my position.

    My hostility was based on the tone of the article. It’s not focused as much on the rehoming phenomenon as it is on expressing the moral superiority of the author to these people who failed at adopted parenthood. I really have not heard of anyone treating adopters of special needs children with that level of adulation, so I think the rehoming cases are not all people so selfish that they adopt solely to gain social status and virtue signal. And how moral he is that he can forgive the horrible rehoming monster. I’m sorry for what his kid went through, I just wish the article did not lay it on that thick.

    • #19
    • May 29, 2020, at 10:04 AM PDT
    • 3 likes
  20. Charlotte Member
    Charlotte Joined in the first year of Ricochet Ricochet Charter Member

    OmegaPaladin (View Comment):

    I was trying to balance my role as a member of the site staff with with my criticism of the story. Jon and Bethany are above me in the hierarchy of Ricochet. I am bound to respect their decisions as part of my position.

    My hostility was based on the tone of the article. It’s not focused as much on the rehoming phenomenon as it is on expressing the moral superiority of the author to these people who failed at adopted parenthood. I really have not heard of anyone treating adopters of special needs children with that level of adulation, so I think the rehoming cases are not all people so selfish that they adopt solely to gain social status and virtue signal. And how moral he is that he can forgive the horrible rehoming monster. I’m sorry for what his kid went through, I just wish the article did not lay it on that thick.

    Hi OP, thanks for the response. I disagree with your characterization of Jarvis’s tone, but I can see where you’re coming from. I appreciate the clarification.

    • #20
    • May 29, 2020, at 10:24 AM PDT
    • 2 likes
  21. Manny Member

    Vince Guerra (View Comment):
    To say that “rehoming” is monstrous is oversimplifying a difficult issue that we should be compassionate and not prejudicial about. I can easily see a number of issues where rehoming would be a benefit to the child and the original family (sexual predation being one of them), and I have friends who have had to do this.

    Point taken, thank you. If the adopted parents find they are incapable of taking care of the special needs child, then I can see how it would be best for the child to be re-homed.

    • #21
    • May 29, 2020, at 2:17 PM PDT
    • 3 likes
  22. Isaiah's Job Member

    I’m guessing Bethany invited you on the site to contribute this article. Welcome to Ricochet. Forgive me if I do not polish your halo for being so superior to other people. People literally throw money at you for having a disabled adopted child? You must live in a completely different world from me.

    I’m kind of with OmegaPaladin here, even though he’s being a lot harsher than I would be. The tone of Jarvis’ article is sort of… odd? I’m not doubting him or anything; but that’s a different world from mine as well. But while I don’t specifically have an adopted disabled child, I do have a daughter with Down syndrome and a foster daughter whose lived with us for almost four years (she’s not handicapped). Nobody throws money at us in public, buys us dinner, or really says much of anything about my handicapped daughter; which to be fair is how I like it. The rare exception is meeting another DS parent in public, in which case we often start by showing each other “the tattoo” (pretty common these days; mine is on my arm), then compare notes on our kids. People with Down syndrome are generally pretty amusing and beloved, so it’s always fun to compare notes. 

    My family thinks that my raising a daughter whose not “my blood” is weird and a waste of resources. (#shrug# What can I say? Southerners.) So I’ve never gotten a lot of “cred” from that corner, either. But she’s a lovely girl, and is almost 18 and out of the house now. When she was fourteen she really needed a stable home environment, her biological parents weren’t able to provide it, so we stepped in and did so with their consent. It wasn’t a scene from a TV show or anything. It’s been hard sometimes; but what kind of parenting isn’t? I’m friends with her mother, who she sees fairly often.

    I guess what I’m saying is that you parent because the world needs parents and you are one and you can. That’s it in my experience. Sometimes God wants you to do these things, so you do them. There’s no glamour to it.

    I’ve learned a lot in the last four years of foster parenting, and I was honestly thinking that when she leaves home we would adopt another little girl with Down syndrome from overseas; possibly through Reeces Rainbow. But now you guys have got me thoroughly spooked. Is overseas adoption really that terrible? I’m solid on spending the rest of my life taking care of one more person, and I’ve never heard of anyone with Downs having the sort of problems you’re all describing. They’re generally the most pleasant of souls. 

     

    • #22
    • May 30, 2020, at 12:12 AM PDT
    • 2 likes