Covid-19 Update from Whiskey Rebellion Country

 

Well, the local distilleries are doing a booming business. Stopped out at one of my favorites the other day, and picked up a bottle of their “peated bourbon” (as good as any Islay single-malt scotch, IMHO), and had a chat with my friend Ellen, the proprietor. They’re doing great. Selling out, in fact.

I didn’t stop at my other favorite place (perhaps I’ll do that later this week). That one is run by Ed the US Marine, who’s a delightful guy. They make an excellent rye, and experiment with other spirits that take less time to develop. Don’t try the cherry cordial. Tastes like cough syrup. (It’s OK.  I gave Ed the Marine my considered opinion on that, because it’s not my style to say something behind a person’s back that I wouldn’t say to his face.  He says I’m not alone in that opinion.  The other cordials are lovely. And the limoncello is nice.)

Meanwhile, the State Liquor Control Board plods on. Following several weeks of highly selective and frustrating “online” sales (after being closed for several more weeks before), during which I could not log into their portal even a single time, the LCB has initiated “call in and pick up” sales. So, you phone them. Tell them what you want. A person on the other end of the phone grudgingly accepts your order and tells you that he or she will “try” and have it ready after 2PM. I’ve done this once. It worked. But it’s an extremely depressing way to order up what many think of as “the water of life.”

This morning, I went grocery shopping at the Giant Eagle. I had a great time. As usual, I masked up. I get lots of compliments on my masks, as they’re quite colorful and whimsical, and reflect (to those who know) that I’m a quilter. Several folks say things like “I’m a quilter too!! That’s a [so-and-so] fabric, isn’t it?” “Yes!” I respond. We bond. And laugh.

When I shop at the grocery store, I use the “scan, pay, and go” app on my phone. Less interaction with others. I don’t have to put my stuff on the belt. I get out very quickly, no matter how many people are in the store, or how long the lines are. I like it.

Random observations from this morning:

FINALLY IN: Toilet paper. Yay!!!!!!!!! OUT:  Whole bean coffee. WTH?

FINALLY IN: My favorite “roll” butter from the Amish in Ohio. OUT: Whole milk. Maybe it’s the word “whole” in the description?

FINALLY IN:  Nail polish remover. OUT: Deli Ham. Oink.

FINALLY IN: Bleach. OUT:  Shampoo. I give up. None of this makes any sense.

But, by and large, it was OK. I thought I was getting better at mastering the difficulties presented each time and that I was starting to get ahead of things. But, no. In the manner of the best video games, the difficulty level is increasing, and the challenge at each level is being raised.

Today, it was “wrong way,” “no entry,” and “this way” decals on the floor. Apparently, we’re supposed to start out at one end of the store. form a conga line, and follow each other, conforming to the appropriate direction for each aisle as we go. I found myself often going “up” the “down” staircase. Fortunately, nobody seemed to mind, and everybody else seemed to be treating these ridiculous rules with the contempt they deserve. Doubt if it’s the same in Pittsburgh, but down here, we have better and more elemental things to worry about than whether we’re going the wrong way down a grocery store aisle, for Pete’s sake. Glory be.

The only other thing I noticed, on my brief visit to the ladies’ room is that (I swear) some demonic device has been installed on the toilet paper dispenser, to make it even more difficult than usual to dispense more than one sheet at a time. Good grief. Have people been stealing–what my mother would refer to as–the “wiping one’s nether parts on corn cobs” quality toilet paper to be found in grocery store restrooms? If so, we have sunk even lower than I would have thought possible.

Silver lining? An actual paper towel dispenser has been installed in the restroom. An alternative to those awful electric blower things which (IMHO, and “science!” notwithstanding) are a serious, germ-disseminating problem in this day and age.

So, there’s hope. I hope.

Excelsior!

PS: Followed this up with a visit to Home Depot. There, because of restrictions on the number of people allowed in the store at a time, we had to queue. I was standing at the head of the line when the “minder” announced that two people would be allowed in. I gave my spot to the couple behind me, since it seemed rather petty to insist on going in myself, and for only one of them to be able to go in at a time. This little gesture generated much good humor, mirth, and pleasant interaction, even though not a one of us could see anyone else’s faces.

I don’t mind wearing a mask if that’s what’s required. But I’ll be damned if it will change my behavior.  And I’m glad I live in a part of the country where most of the residents seem to agree with me.  Don’t want to live anywhere else.  Wouldn’t change it for the world.

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  1. Hoyacon Member
    Hoyacon
    @Hoyacon

    If there’s even a single ray of hope in this mess, it’s posts like this.

    Our other ray of hope in the Commonwealth of Virginia is that Ralph “Blackface” Northam (known elsewhere here as the Goobernor) has permitted our distilleries to do mail order.  Turns out Virginia bourbon ain’t bad.

    • #1
  2. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    We need more intrepid souls such as She.  Open it back UP!

    • #2
  3. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    She: Well, the local distilleries are doing a booming business. Stopped out at one of my favorites the other day, and picked up a bottle of their “peated bourbon” (as good as any Islay single-malt scotch, IMHO), and had a chat with my friend Ellen, the proprietor. They’re doing great. Selling out, in fact.

    They put dirt in perfectly good bourbon?

    There ought to be a law …

     

     

    • #3
  4. Clifford A. Brown Member
    Clifford A. Brown
    @CliffordBrown

    Percival (View Comment):

    She: Well, the local distilleries are doing a booming business. Stopped out at one of my favorites the other day, and picked up a bottle of their “peated bourbon” (as good as any Islay single-malt scotch, IMHO), and had a chat with my friend Ellen, the proprietor. They’re doing great. Selling out, in fact.

    They put dirt in perfectly good bourbon?

    There ought to be a law …

     

     

    I’ve enjoyed several Texas and Arizona whiskeys with the mash grains smoked with mesquite. Tasty.

    • #4
  5. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Clifford A. Brown (View Comment):

    Percival (View Comment):

    She: Well, the local distilleries are doing a booming business. Stopped out at one of my favorites the other day, and picked up a bottle of their “peated bourbon” (as good as any Islay single-malt scotch, IMHO), and had a chat with my friend Ellen, the proprietor. They’re doing great. Selling out, in fact.

    They put dirt in perfectly good bourbon?

    There ought to be a law …

     

     

    I’ve enjoyed several Texas and Arizona whiskeys with the mash grains smoked with mesquite. Tasty.

    Soot is okay. Not dirt.

    • #5
  6. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    Would that be Minerva butter? Know the family well but the only think Amish about them is the horse crap the use in there advertising.

    • #6
  7. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Sweet She,

    I bet you are the toast of the town with that fancy mask. Did you say Whiskey?

    Very smart girl.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #7
  8. She Member
    She
    @She

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    Would that be Minerva butter? Know the family well but the only think Amish about them is the horse crap the use in there advertising.

    LOL.  Yes.  Sadly, ever since the Amish did a rather poor job on the roof of my house, about twelve years ago, I’m hip to the “crap.”  Nevertheless, I like the butter.

    • #8
  9. KentForrester Inactive
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    You drink hard liquor?  Fancy.    Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    • #9
  10. KentForrester Inactive
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    Nice piece, She.  Like you, I bristle a bit at the restrictions — as all conservatives should — and generally go about my business. 

    • #10
  11. E. Kent Golding Moderator
    E. Kent Golding
    @EKentGolding

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water.   I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    • #11
  12. KentForrester Inactive
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    Now don’t be talkin’ trash about my beer. 

    • #12
  13. She Member
    She
    @She

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    LOL.  My Dad, who lived in the States from 1963 until 1978, was rather contemptuous of almost all American beers of the time, and would have agreed with you!

    • #13
  14. KentForrester Inactive
    KentForrester
    @KentForrester

    She (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    LOL. My Dad, who lived in the States from 1963 until 1978, was rather contemptuous of almost all American beers of the time, and would have agreed with you!

    I don’t drink Bud Light for its taste; I drink it as as a political statement.  No other beer says “I’m an American guy and you’re not if you drink some kind of sissy foreign beer or micro brew ” like Bud Light does  It’s good to suffer for one’s politics.

    • #14
  15. Bethany Mandel Coolidge
    Bethany Mandel
    @bethanymandel

    Along these lines, my girlfriend owns this hard cider place and it’s SO GOOD: https://www.haykinfamilycider.com/buy-online

    • #15
  16. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    She (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    LOL. My Dad, who lived in the States from 1963 until 1978, was rather contemptuous of almost all American beers of the time, and would have agreed with you!

    She,

    The horses like American beer. It’s time to saddle up for the China Posse.

    You’ve got to go to France to get the American News. If this article doesn’t appear in English just hit Google Translate and it will read just fine.

    https://tribune-diplomatique-internationale.com/le-dr-francis-boyle-createur-de-la-loi-americaine-sur-les-armes-biologiques-affirme-que-le-coronavirus-est-une-arme-de-guerre-biologique/

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #16
  17. She Member
    She
    @She

    James Gawron (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    LOL. My Dad, who lived in the States from 1963 until 1978, was rather contemptuous of almost all American beers of the time, and would have agreed with you!

    She,

    The horses like American beer. It’s time to saddle up for the China Posse.

    [Beer for My Horses]

    I think you’re right.  Great musical interlude.  Here’s another from another beer lover. (One of my mother’s favorite songs.  She was a great fan of oom-pah-pah music.  Drove Dad crazy.)

    I like (real) beer too. 

     

    • #17
  18. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Beer for horses is fine. Their intestines convert alcohol to carbohydrates, so getting one drunk probably isn’t possible. Beer is mostly barley and hops. and they like barley and hops. Due to the extra carbs, there is a slight caloric bump, but these are horses we are talking about here. Horses, as in “eats like a.”

    • #18
  19. She Member
    She
    @She

    Percival (View Comment):
    Beer for horses is fine. Their intestines convert alcohol to carbohydrates, so getting one drunk probably isn’t possible. Beer is mostly barley and hops. and they like barley and hops. Due to the extra carbs, there is a slight caloric bump, but these are horses we are talking about here. Horses, as in “eats like a.”

    But, perhaps this thread is more properly about fish, as in “drinks like a.”

    • #19
  20. Misthiocracy got drunk and Member
    Misthiocracy got drunk and
    @Misthiocracy

    Percival (View Comment):
    Beer for horses is fine. Their intestines convert alcohol to carbohydrates…

    One wonders how the heck natural selection worked that one out.

    • #20
  21. JoelB Member
    JoelB
    @JoelB

    When I shop at the grocery store, I use the “scan, pay, and go” app on my phone. Less interaction with others. I don’t have to put my stuff on the belt. I get out very quickly, no matter how many people are in the store, or how long the lines are. I like it.

    I can’t understand why more people don’t use this. I use the scanner provided, not my phone. One other benefit I noticed is that the bags provided don’t usually have holes in them like those in the regular checkout lines. They are better for waste paper basket liners.

    • #21
  22. Misthiocracy got drunk and Member
    Misthiocracy got drunk and
    @Misthiocracy

    E. Kent Golding (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    You drink hard liquor? Fancy. Whatsa matter, ya can’t get drunk on Bud Light?

    You can die from drinking too much water. I wouldn’t risk trying to get Drunk on Bud Light.

    I’d argue that it’s easier to get drunk off light beer.  Light beers are easier to chug, so you drink more in a given amount of time.

    • #22
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