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Bah, Humbug! on Lemon Grove Drive
We live on a cul-de-sac with 17 homes and our street is famous in the community. We are the street with incredible Christmas lights (with a touch of Hanukkah decorations). We have also offered cookies and hot chocolate on two consecutive nights in December, letting the community know with signs set up at the end of the street when we will be offering them. But this year the occasion was compromised by ridiculous rumors and the bad behavior of those who came. My neighbors are up in arms by how we were treated by those who visited us.
The difficulties seemed to fall into two categories: rumors and bad behavior. The rumors would have been very funny if they weren’t so outrageous. In truth, we have purchased all the decorations and put them up ourselves, and have found some generous folks who are snowbirds who have let us store them in their garages. What are the rumors? To buy a house on this street will cost a buyer $10,000 for their portion of the cost to have the decorations installed; the developer pays someone to put up the decorations on our street; the developer provides storage for our decorations; everyone on the street must bake cookies, and they have to be chocolate chip cookies (although this one would be okay with me). There are probably other rumors drifting around. I’ve heard some of them in the past, but this year they were especially silly.
What about the bad behavior of visitors? Someone said the dates we chose to give away cookies was inconvenient, and we should do it on a different day; another said we should do it at a different time; some asked why we didn’t offer a certain cookie that we had last year; others asked if we had cookies for the dogs that they brought with them. One person thought the decorations were all so nice, except for the large Jewish star in front of one home. (She didn’t realize she was telling my neighbor who put up the star.)
The people with dogs were especially rude. They brought their dogs right up to the cookie table and often held the dogs in their arms; they asked if they could give our cookies to their dogs; the dogs were stealing cookies out of the hands of the children (who had come with their grandparents); people let their dogs poop on our lawns and didn’t pick up after them; someone dumped their two dogs on Santa’s lap (a neighbor who graciously has offered to play Santa and speak with the children).
Doesn’t it all sound like fun?
I am ambivalent about cookie night. I don’t hand out food or drink and usually only mingle for a short time on one of the nights. When I heard about the dogs (after the fact), I asked my neighbors why they didn’t ask people to get away from the table? Why didn’t they ask people to leave the area? Well, I just have very nice neighbors who don’t want to ruin the Christmas spirit. And yes, most of them didn’t want to pick a fight.
It’s too bad I wasn’t around more.
The chances are good that we will end cookie nights at Christmas time. Some neighbors want to blame the people with dogs, which will certainly backfire on those who live on the street; rumors will spread that we’re elitists and hate dogs. I suggested that we simply stop offering cookies and hot chocolate and we won’t put up the sign we use to promote the event; and for those people who ask why we’ve stopped, we can simply say that after ten years, it was time to draw the event to a close.
I believe that the people who have spread the rumors, complained about our offerings, and brought their dogs so irresponsibly are simply a mirror of our larger society. They have a sense of entitlement. They are jealous of our friendships. They have no gracious response to the spirit of the holiday. And they think their dogs are people.
Some of my neighbors resent stopping our celebration, yet it’s also a lot of work. We have other occasions to come together, share with each other, and enjoy the spirit of the holidays.
We’ll continue to enjoy those other social times, putting up our decorations, having our decoration dinner when we turn on the lights, and celebrating the beauty of our friendships. And everyone is welcome to drive up and down our street, enjoying the beautiful display.
Without cookies and hot chocolate.
[Thanks to EB from Ricochet for the photo!]
Published in Culture
An interesting experience, @merrijane. Even if you’d kicked him up, someone else could have showed up under the radar. That would not have been a good thing. Maybe when these kinds of activities get out of control, it triggers greed in people. Still, what you did all those years was terrific.
We have people over often as well. Quite often it’s friends of my kids. My daughter and family are with us for the holidays and there hasn’t been a day without people stopping by and guests for dinner.
I remember years ago overhearing my daughter telling a recently arrived guest to go find JY and me and say hello. We had long noticed that almost everyone would greet us and thank us when they left.
I don’t remember teaching her that rule of etiquette … knowing her she figured it out on her own and knew it was a way to guarantee always being allowed to have guests over.
No matter how it came about, it’s always been appreciated.
On the flip side, my sister used to extend invitations to the family to stay at her house when they were in town. (Our family has three brothers and three sisters living all over the western U.S.) But afterward, she would complain to other family members and offer up all her grievances about what they did. It’s no surprise they stopped staying with her. Since I love to have family stay over, I learned from her bad example to not complain about about my guests … at least not to other family members. (Generally speaking, they are all well behaved, though.)
If the cookie thing is something people want to preserve, perhaps someone can step up to make or buy doggie-biscuits for people who are…the way some of these people are.
I am aware that this would be a capitulation and would cost x amount of joy to enact.
As for the people who allow their dogs to literally poop the party I would suggest rock salt from the 12-Gauge of Christmas your true love sent to you.
Oh TBA, you are a rascal! I love it all! But of course we want to be responsible neighbors, don’t we . . . ahem. . .
Something similar happens in our community. We are gated, but there are a restaurant and a couple of businesses in the community, so virtually anyone can come in. (They do have to show their DL and all license plates are automatically photographed as the car exits.)
Anyway, there is a community bonfire every January with fried chicken, cole slaw, potato salad, and soft drinks provided by the POA. People are also free to bring their own snacks and beverages, as well as lawn chairs, to make an evening of it around the bonfire. It is supposed to be for members of the community. Over the years, people in the surrounding area have heard of it, so many of them manage to come in. Also, some members of the community take advantage and use it to entertain friends. One woman used it for her son’s birthday party for 20 young friends.
Every year, the committee tries to come up with some method to curtail this – wrist bands, IDs, etc. But they can never agree on a solution and, I think, they are also afraid of blowback. So it continues. We just don’t go any more – too many strangers, but many neighbors wouldn’t miss it.
My computer feed scrolled quickly and I jammed Randy Webster’s comment:
**
Randy Webster
Are you telling me that hanky panky has lost popularity?
**
Susan Quinn
That’s what we’ve done in the past and it was great fun. We may do it again!
** So I immediately thought: Oh boy — “normal” Ricochet is getting as frisky as The Pitt.