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[Let’s listen in to this conversation in progress . . . ]
JB—So Nance, how’s it going? You folks have been pretty busy raising Cain in the last couple of weeks.
NP—Well, yes, that’s true, Joe. How are you doing? Where are you campaigning?
JB—[silence] Let’s see . . . oh yes, we’re in . . . so hey, I wanted to talk to you about this latest wrinkle in the impeachment business.
NP—Yes. Kind of crazy, isn’t it?
JB—Crazy isn’t the word I’d use. Completely insane! Okay, let me be straight with you. I’m not at all happy about the road you folks are going down. This was all supposed to be settled years ago. George promised me that it would be water under the bridge. What’s going on?
NP—I’m so sorry, Joe. You and I have been friends for, what, 40 years? You know I wouldn’t do anything to cause you problems. In fact, this whole tack wasn’t even my idea. I didn’t want to go down the impeachment road. But George said that we had no choice, so here we are. Our only purpose is to oust and destroy Trump; no other issue comes close. I’m sorry you’ve gotten caught up in the turbulence, but there’s no turning back now.
JB—What? No way! George promised me that Ukraine would be a non-issue, and that if I wanted to be President, I just had to be patient. So I’ve waited. Heck, now I’m really too old to do this [expletive]. I could have just taken it easy and helped you guys in the background. Now I’m stuck running and my brain is fried and I’m just plum worn out. But I have a lot of people depending on me! You’ve got to talk to George and turn things around somehow. I’m not doing this [expletive] over broken promises. And he promised.
NP—You know I’m not in charge here, Joe. This whole thing is bigger than both of us. And this time we’re not just blowing smoke. We’re going to get him, his family and the whole Republican party. Trust me, it will be worth it. By banking on our P.R. that this isn’t about partisan politics but to preserve our national security and save our democracy will do the job.
JB—so what am I supposed to do? Let myself be taken down by friendly fire? I’m not doing it, Nancy. It’s not fair. It’s not right. Not even to get Trump. I’m not just going to sit by and let you folks destroy my reputation. I don’t care what George says.
NP—Now, Joe, take it easy. Hey, I’m upset for you, too. We’re friends. But sometimes there are bigger fish to fry. Besides, you really don’t want to take on George, do you?
JB—I don’t know, Nancy. I’m thinking about it. I’m thinking that if I go down, I could take you all with me.
What have I got to lose?Published in