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Annual Employee Evaluation
Mr. Kobble: . . . as a result, you’ll be getting a 5% incentive raise. Thanks for all your hard work, Cynthia.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: You’re welcome Terry. Next year should be great!
Mr. Kobble: I know that you are very enthusiastic about Project Green and are interested in the team lead. While you were very qualified, we have decided to go in another direction with the lead.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Well, that’s disappointing, but I’m still upbeat about the project and am looking forward to working with the team. Who is the lead going to be?
Mr. Kobble: Ms. Seeplus.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Ms. Seeplus?
Mr. Kobble: Yes, Kim Seeplus from C-Section.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: You gave the team lead to Ken Seeplus?!?
Mr. Kobble: Not Ken, Kim. Kimberly Seeplus.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: What?
Mr. Kobble: Yes, we were surprised as you. Ms. Seeplus very bravely came forward and told us she was tired of living a lie. She had always been a woman living in a man’s body and now has decided to come out and identify as a woman. After HR told us that it would do wonders for our diversity and we talked to the company lawyer, we decided to offer her the team lead she applied for.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: You have got to be kidding.
Mr. Kobble: Well, at first we had the same reaction. Then we looked back and realized there were signs.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Signs?
Mr. Kobble: She wore earrings.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: He wears one earring. It’s a skull and crossbones.
Mr. Kobble: She shaved her legs and armpits.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Yea, he’s a competitive body builder. They do that.
Mr. Kobble: She wears perfume.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: I don’t think the Old Spice he drenches himself with counts as perfume.
Mr. Kobble: And makeup.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: It’s called bronzing. Again, body builder. Terry, can I be honest with you?
Mr. Kobble: Uhh. . .Sure?
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Seeplus is a meathead. I have twice as many clients as he has and he’s always asking for deadline extensions. He runs late several mornings every week because “traffic from the gym was gnarly.” He almost never works over and is seldom available on weekends because of competitions. He’s not responsible enough to be team lead. When he didn’t place in that stupid Circuit County He-Man event, he pouted for a week and didn’t get anything done.
Mr. Kobble: Well, we don’t have to worry about that. She just came in first in the Circuit County She-Ra competition.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: What?!? That’s for women!
Mr. Kobble: Ms. LeForte-Tran, I can tell that you’re upset, but I really need your help for Project Green to succeed. Please be professional when dealing with Ms. Seeplus and use the name and pronoun she prefers. I’m depending on you and don’t want you to get into trouble with HR.
Ms. LeForte-Tran: Speaking of HR, didn’t she get in trouble for grabbing Carol’s butt last year? I thought Ken Seeplus was one of the biggest Lotharios in the company.
Mr. Kobble: Ahh, well, funny thing. . .it turns out Kim’s a lesbian.
Published in Humor
I like it. But I kept waiting for the software reference to play into it.
So I could make a joke about polymorphism.
Too real!
I assume that you changed the names of these people so that their real identities could remain secret.
PS: well done.
Funny how so many of the “male-to-female” still are sexually attracted to women.
Yet another among the several reasons to doubt this whole “transgender” trend.
You get more points that way.
I read this. Aaaagh. Good night.
P.S. I think I worked for those guys.
Yeah. A few years ago ” I’m a Lesbian trapped in a mans body” was a joke. Now it’s a lifestyle choice…
Mr/Ms Garrison of South Park fame.