Punning Dreams

 

I used to be a terrible punster. I still have friends who are punsters, but I have spent many decades reforming myself. I don’t think I have originated or cracked a pun in at least a decade. Unfortunately, I do not seem to be fully reformed, since I just woke up from this dream:

A companion and I were walking around the outside of the White House. (I’m not sure who my companion was, just that I knew him in the dream.) Somehow, we had gotten quite close. In fact, at one point, we walked by a window and I saw a very Simpsons-like tableau with the current President and First Lady in bed. The President was thoroughly asleep and catching flies as he snored. (Of course, it was an inaccurate dream, since they wouldn’t sleep in a room on the ground floor.)

We both realized we would be escorted out soon, but for some reason in this dream world, the Secret Service had a reputation for escorting unwanted visitors out very gently. As expected, a Secret Service Agent found us. He was carrying some decorations, and acted as if he needed some help. At first, he asked us if we would carry some of the decorations, but then changed his mind as if he were not sure they would go where he was supposed to put them up. He had us drop the decorations and come to look with him. Of course, he was really escorting us so we would go out the gates and leave the property. We knew what was going on, but played along so we wouldn’t wind up on a list somewhere.

When we exited the gates, there was another formidable building just ahead. (Hint: this building only exists in my dream. It certainly was not in Washington last time I was there.) There were many people coming and going from the main doors, so we walked up to see what it was and read: Richard M. Nixon Aquatic Museum.

My companion was slightly behind me, so I turned to face him when I reached the doors and proudly said, “This must have been where he gave that famous speech. You know, the one where he said, “I am not a crappie!'”* And then I went inside.

Have you ever caught yourself telling jokes or punning while you were dreaming? Any good ones?

* Note: The author of this discussion is not responsible for his sub-conscious as expressed in his dreams.

Published in Humor
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  1. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    A cat lover and a punner. They just seem to go together.

    I will admit that the worst punster I know is also a cat lover, Lew Turco. Of course, he also taught writing or English or some such. One has to watch those college professors.

    • #31
  2. PHCheese Inactive
    PHCheese
    @PHCheese

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    That one hurt me a bit, Arahant. When I came across She’s puns I could almost see the superior, smirky look on her face when she wrote them.

    Punsters are shameless and cruel and ought to be banned from polite society. Of course, Arahant and She would never know because they’ve never been a part of that class.

    I hope you two have them out of your system.

    If you think, @kentforrester, that you can just mussel your way into this conversation and tell me to clam up, you’ve got another think coming. I’m not going to let you skate on this.

    OMG, She. Quit that. Just quit it!

    Oh My Cod?

    • #32
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    PHCheese (View Comment):
    Oh My Cod?

    By Cod Almighty, yes!

    • #33
  4. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    You’re all banned.  Permanently.  Get out.

    • #34
  5. She Member
    She
    @She

    KentForrester (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    KentForrester (View Comment):
    may all your children be below average

    As close as I come:

    Admittedly, though, they are pretty lazy…unless you pop open a can of fish.

    Holy mackerel! A cat lover and a punner. They just seem to go together. And not in a good way.

    At least it’s not a catfish.  From my high perch as a moderator, even I can see that.  Glory Be, Kent, have you no sole, or is it just that you’re hard of herring?  What a gudgeon you are (that from the eighteenth-century.  My fish puns know no bounds of time or space or idiom.  Which is why I have no difficulty pronouncing this post “brill” as they say where I’m from).

    It’s really pointless to think you’ll get the better of me on the fish pun front or that you’ll sucker me into making a mistake.  I’ll win every time.  Wahoo.

    • #35
  6. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member
    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw
    @MattBalzer

    Arahant: I used to be a terrible punster

    Now you’re just terrible. Got it.

    • #36
  7. MeanDurphy Member
    MeanDurphy
    @DeanMurphy

    Nice to sea some folks are breeming with enthusiasm despite punishment.

    • #37
  8. She Member
    She
    @She

    MeanDurphy (View Comment):

    Nice to sea some folks are breeming with enthusiasm despite punishment.

    That’s why I was so happy to see that @michaelbrehm commented in the thread.  Guess he was hooked.

    • #38
  9. Jeff Hawkins Inactive
    Jeff Hawkins
    @JeffHawkins

    All of you owe Kip Addotta five bucks

    • #39
  10. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    I get it.  Which is funny because what he said was, I’m not a snook.

    • #40
  11. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Jeff Hawkins (View Comment):

    All of you owe Kip Addotta five bucks

    Ha. All my puns are older than he is.

    • #41
  12. Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum Member
    Nanda "Chaps" Panjandrum
    @

    Whelk, you’ve all managed to mackerel-eel crumby day batter for me walleye read these comments…Tanks, everyone! :-) You’ve made this li’l amphibious green monster very happy.

    • #42
  13. CarolJoy, Above Top Secret Coolidge
    CarolJoy, Above Top Secret
    @CarolJoy

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    You piked my interest. There is something fishy about that dream I hope you are finished. I had to say it just for the halibut .

    Whale, whale, if you had to say it, there’s no way I can tuna you out.

    • #43
  14. Michael Brehm Lincoln
    Michael Brehm
    @MichaelBrehm

    Michael Brehm (View Comment):

    This conversation needs to go to the main feed, so the trouter world can suffer its turbots. 

    An addendum: Last night in the small hours when I was between sleep and waking, my dreaming mind came up with maybe three puns based on “turbot” that it considered better than this one. I don’t know if that was actually the case, as I forgot all of them upon waking. What I do know, is that certainly I wouldn’t have done so if it wasn’t for the OP.

    This is on your head, @arahant

     

    • #44
  15. Columbo Inactive
    Columbo
    @Columbo

    She (View Comment):

    I hate to carp, but now that I’ve had time to mullet over, I have to say that something about this post smelt a bit off.

    Take me to the river ….

     

    • #45
  16. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Michael Brehm (View Comment):
    This is on your head, Arahant…

    😈

    • #46
  17. GLDIII Intermittently Non Esse… Reagan
    GLDIII Intermittently Non Esse…
    @GLDIII

    Whenever I am reviewing the ruminations coming from the subconscious mind of Arahant, this seems to come to mind….

    • #47
  18. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Fish-pun music:

    I don’t remember ever making jokes or puns in dreams, but I dream about Ricochet members fairly frequently.

    • #48
  19. Nick H Coolidge
    Nick H
    @NickH

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    You’re all banned. Permanently. Get out.

    Throw them all back in. This thread has a catch and release policy.

    • #49
  20. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Randy Weivoda (View Comment):
    I don’t remember ever making jokes or puns in dreams, but I dream about Ricochet members fairly frequently.

    Speaking of dreams of seafood and Ricochet members, last night I dreamed I was in a kitchen with @midge.  She was cooking lobster ravioli and an Alfredo sauce with mushrooms.  The dream ended before I got to eat any, but it smelled great.

    • #50
  21. Douglas Pratt Coolidge
    Douglas Pratt
    @DouglasPratt

    A pun is the lowest form of wit, if you didn’t think of it first.

    I salute y’all.

    • #51
  22. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw (View Comment):

    Arahant: I used to be a terrible punster

    Now you’re just terrible. Got it.

    A menace.

    • #52
  23. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    It’s apparently contagious:

    http://ricochet.com/593135/quote-of-the-day-egg-salad/

    • #53
  24. Judge Mental Member
    Judge Mental
    @JudgeMental

    Arahant (View Comment):

    It’s apparently contagious:

    http://ricochet.com/593135/quote-of-the-day-egg-salad/

    Yeah, I blame you for that.

    • #54
  25. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member
    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw
    @MattBalzer

    Judge Mental (View Comment):

    Arahant (View Comment):

    It’s apparently contagious:

    http://ricochet.com/593135/quote-of-the-day-egg-salad/

    Yeah, I blame you for that.

    That’s usually the way to bet.

    • #55
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Judge Mental (View Comment):
    Yeah, I blame you for that.

    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw (View Comment):
    That’s usually the way to bet.

    Did he even read this one?

    • #56
  27. Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw Member
    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw
    @MattBalzer

    Arahant (View Comment):

    Judge Mental (View Comment):
    Yeah, I blame you for that.

    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw (View Comment):
    That’s usually the way to bet.

    Did he even read this one?

    I don’t see what that has to do with it.

    • #57
  28. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Matt Balzer, Imperialist Claw (View Comment):
    I don’t see what that has to do with it.

    Ah, the old, “I said I blame you, not that it was your fault.”

    • #58
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