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No Host Is Pure Enough to Host The Oscars
“My name is Oscarmandias, King of Entertainment;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
After months of searching for a host then chasing off the only person willing to try, the Academy has thrown in the gold lamé towelette. For the first time in the past three decades of The Oscars, the event will go hostless. From Variety:
Producers will select a crop of A-listers to introduce various segments instead of relying on one marquee name to kick things off in a monologue filled with Trump zingers, said the insiders. The producers and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the group behind the Oscars, are scrambling to line up top talent needed to carry the telecast, which is just six weeks from airing live — on Feb. 24 — from Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre. Hand-wringing at the Academy has been palpable.
Oh, good — “Trump zingers.”
When comedian Kevin Hart was announced as the host last month, the woke mob attacked him over decade-old jokes now deemed homophobic. Hart had repeatedly apologized for these past sins, but the Academy insisted on another round of public groveling. Instead, he quit. Not every entertainer is willing to bend the knee to the comedy police.
Who would be your choice to host the Oscars? If he or she was chosen, would you even watch?
Published in Entertainment
They should have the President host the Oscars.
Mel. Mel Gibson. They can’t besmirch him any more than they already have.
Clint Eastwood. And his soliloquy to a chair.
I’d watch that! Too funny.
I’m sure the woke mob will be able to find plenty of real and imagined offenses committed by the crop of A-listers.
No host? Why not? They’ve been getting by with no TV audience for years now.
There is only one choice who is guaranteed not to say anything problematic. It is time for Funnybot.
I just flew in from the coast and boy are my self-actuating mono-linear propulsion units tired.
Bob Hope and Johnny Carson.
Failing that, Steve Martin.
Drones. They love drones.
Takes one to know one?
How about Kim and Kayne ?
He could wear his MAGA hat and she, well, basically nothing.
He would do all of the talking while she takes selfies.
Might attract an audience.
They should ask Kevin back.
And then he should tell them “Jam it”.
A comedy genius: Bill Belichick. He’ll be free by then and I guarantee the show won’t run over.
I don’t have an answer to your first question, who I’d choose. But your second is easy. No. I wouldn’t watch. Period.
In a perfect world: Kill the ceremony, just have a dinner.
If I have to have a host: Adam Carrolla is my vibe. I think you need someone with the willingness to attack the pompous atmosphere.
if I’m them: Just ask James Corden to do a few carpool karaokes and give a lame monologue and an opening number that highlights his musical theater background. He’s harmless and woke
Best thing about Steve Martin is that he can’t hide his general contempt for the entire industry.
I personally think it would be quite a step down for Happy Feet. He was pretty much as good as they get, to me.
What about Tim Allen?
Billy Crystal and if he’s too controversial by today’s standards, how about our own @daviddeeble – ok – he may be too mellow – – what is Jerry Seinfeld doing these days – can he still get a zinger in? No? Ok – let’s just really stir up a big, fat hornet’s nest and throw in someone where everyone is sure to soil their designer duds over – they may need to distribute old fashioned smelling salts, …Mark Steyn…..but it would be damn funny!
PS Was there really a movie out this past year that deserves the coveted award?
I love Steyn but wouldn’t he be just a little too cerebral for the event?
Maybe just outlaw laughing and distribute free flu shots like they did at The Golden Globes.
Gosnell.
TY for making me laugh. Last night’s Pelosi & Schumer meme and “the Academy has thrown in the gold lamé towelette” are great tonics. After watching & reading most of the media reports last night humor is greatly appreciated.
Jon,
I have no idea what you are talking about. Why the Oscars will be stellar. I can’t wait.
Regards,
Jim
Mel Brooks
Probably not.
I’m sure Obama has better things to do.
Just get Billy Crystal to do it. He’s done it like 100 times before so he’s a pro, and everyone likes him.
I’m sure he does, but like what?
Pat Sajac. He’s ours.
Highest rating evah.