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No Host Is Pure Enough to Host The Oscars
“My name is Oscarmandias, King of Entertainment;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
After months of searching for a host then chasing off the only person willing to try, the Academy has thrown in the gold lamé towelette. For the first time in the past three decades of The Oscars, the event will go hostless. From Variety:
Producers will select a crop of A-listers to introduce various segments instead of relying on one marquee name to kick things off in a monologue filled with Trump zingers, said the insiders. The producers and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the group behind the Oscars, are scrambling to line up top talent needed to carry the telecast, which is just six weeks from airing live — on Feb. 24 — from Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre. Hand-wringing at the Academy has been palpable.
Oh, good — “Trump zingers.”
When comedian Kevin Hart was announced as the host last month, the woke mob attacked him over decade-old jokes now deemed homophobic. Hart had repeatedly apologized for these past sins, but the Academy insisted on another round of public groveling. Instead, he quit. Not every entertainer is willing to bend the knee to the comedy police.
Who would be your choice to host the Oscars? If he or she was chosen, would you even watch?
Published in Entertainment
But which one. There are so many.
What do you have against Steve Martin?! What’d he ever do to you??
Dave Letterman with his giant beard. He’s a lefty, but at least he has contempt for himself and show business.
Probably true. People who haven’t watched in years would tune in to see what would happen.
Personally, I’m pleased that the media can’t find a host who passes muster. It shows the greater public that there is no purity pure enough for the “woke” crowd, and that there is no forgiveness available from them.
We need this demonstration to show that trying to be “woke” is a fool’s errand.
I wonder, had “the Academy” (now there’s a pretentious load of guff, right there) not made a huge splash with a big announcement and write-up in Variety that there was to be no host for this year’s broadcast, whether anyone would actually have noticed the absence of such?
After all, they did this at least once before (thirty years ago, it appears). And, survived, apparently.
Well, actually, it does appear to have been a bit of a dog’s breakfast, starting with a twelve-minute “earsplitting duet by a tone-deaf Rob Lowe and a no-name actress dressed as Snow White.” You can read the whole story here if you’re a glutton for punishment, or just save your masochistic instincts for the night of February 24, in order to see what they’ve managed to come up with to ruin a perfectly good evening this year. I think I’ll pass.
Also, Kevin Hart did say previously that he regretted those tweets and that he had changed as a person. He isn’t going to post those tweets again. If you are a gay-rights advocate, isn’t that a win? A guy who said not very nice things about gays now regrets saying those things. Instead of letting people improve themselves, the woke mob removes the capacity of people to be forgiven and be better people.
27 After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. “Follow me,” Jesus said to him, 28 and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.
29 Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. 30 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”
31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
I haven’t watched Oscar’s in over 30 years. I always have far better ways to utilize my time, and they are supremely boring in any case.
Trump should nationalize the Academy and, once it is part of the government, treat it as non-essential and closed by the shutdown.
If they did this, then I would watch the Oscars. It would probably be the highest rated Oscars ever!!
They should really shake things up and have Jordan Peterson host. Instead of the lame skits and musical numbers, he could give long, off-the-cuff lectures exploring the Jungian significance and psychological themes of the best picture nominees. I would totally watch that.
They should let Google, Amazon, and Apple bid to be the official Smart Home Device of the Oscars. Then the audience could just ask, “Hey Siri, what is the Best Picture for 2018?” Siri (or Alexa, etc.) would then announce the winner and the Oscars could be dispensed from a giant vending machine. A completely self-service Oscar night.
Diamond and Silk.
We have the technology!
I stopped watching all awards shows about 20 years ago. I’m not sure there is anybody they could find to make me watch the Oscars.
I vote for James Woods.
Ruining Jackson Park with his hideous presidential library…
The problem with the Oscars isn’t the host. It is the fact that the event is 4 hours long and 80% of the categories are weird and technical. Not that sound design isn’t important to a movie, but I think for a general audience it isn’t something anyone thinks about. They need to just put all of the interesting awards up front, director, actors (lead and supporting), music, special effects, cinematography. Get those done in an hour as well as a life time achievements and in memoria tributes and call it a night at 1 hour, maybe 1.5 hours with some commercials and speeches.
What movies are nominated? I’m so checked out I don’t even know what movies are up for awards.
not out yet
Dennis Miller always said that the best host would be his friend Martin Short, also a great friend of Steve Martin.
Martin apparently loves and hates Hollywood with a certain dramatic, musical-like flair.
Have you seen the “Evening with Steve Martin and Martin Short” special on Netflix? It’s a recording of the stage show they’ve been travelling the country with. Pretty entertaining.
Dennis Miller would be a good choice too.
Or David Spade, if he did the whole thing in his “Hollywood Minute” (or whatever the name was) character from SNL.
How about Martin Short doing it as Jiminy Glick?
If they really wanted to mess with Kevin Hart, they should hire Emmanuel Lewis or Muggsy Bogues.
Host? Gilbert Gottfried.
Me watch? Very no.
Steve Harvey. Definitely Steve Harvey. You’d see viewership through the roof. I’d find some way to watch it streaming live. It would be the awards show version of a NASCAR race, everyone watching for the crashes.
I haven’t watched the Oscars in decades. Swore off it. But I might actually tune in to see that.
Or Ed Grimley.
MFW, Song, & Flick,
I vote for Jiminy Glick.
Regards,
Jim