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Oppressing a Living Organism
I was coming home this evening, to see a woman (white, 40s) looking disapprovingly at the cameras I have mounted on a tree above the sidewalk. So I rolled down my window and enquired as to her concern.
She said, “Nobody should ever do something like THAT to an Living Organism!”
Wait, what?
“You attached things to the tree! That is a horrible thing to do!”
“Madam,” I replied. “You do realize that you drilled holes in your ears for your earrings. Are you not a living organism? Or are trees just more important than people?”
I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”
Published in General
Congratulations, my friend.
Plenty of wood between her ears.
Well I agree that most trees are nicer than a lot of people. They mind their own business, for one thing.
I wonder what people like her use for food, gravel?
Considering her level of intelligence I’m guessing it’s photosynthesis .
I wonder what that woman eats.
She Must be a member of the Bush Family.
Look on the bright side. Maybe she doesn’t vote, since that requires marking a paper ballot. Possibly using a pencil?
*facepalm*
I’ve often heard the same thing from dog owners who let their pet cavort in the road off leash, usually with some sort of assessment of their dog’s intellectual brilliance.
Did she hug your tree?
Probably not a Trump voter.
When will the unfair oppression of graphite ever end?
I hope she never walks on grass. If you listen very hard you can hear the blades say “Ow!”
No doubt aborting human babies is ok. But acorns are special. You better not step on them or eat them.
We knew someone who wouldn’t eat lettuce because he said he could hear it scream when he chewed it. Seriously.
Oh. My Very. Goshness. However did you interact with her with a straight face?!
Trees are not your friends. Wind storm, they fall on your house, ice storm their branches fall on power lines, or onto your car. A chainsaw is your friend.
Cabbage is better, anyway.
And they don’t complain when turned into useful objects.
What? There’s no lumber in your house?
Well done. Although you should have seen that coming! ;-)
Which ignores the fact, @she, that by the time he ate it, it was on its way to being dead. Sigh.
Apparently trees do have a higher intelligence than some people! I hope she doesn’t encounter any woodpeckers, she might blow a gasket.
From Tool’s hidden track 69 on Disgustipated.
..And the Angel Of The Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still, until we moved through the spaces ‘betwixt the air itself. And he brought me unto a vast farmland of our own midwest. And as we decended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand, ‘nay, a million voices, full of fear. And terror posessed me then. And I begged, “Angel Of The Lord, what are these totured screams?” and
the Angel said unto me, “These are the Cries Of The Carrots. The Cries Of The Carrots, Y’see Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is Harvest Day, and to them, it is
The Holocaust.”
..And I sprang from my slumber, drenched in sweat, like the tears of a million terrified brothers. And, Lord, Hear me now, I have seen the light,
They have a conciousness, They have a life, They have a soul. Damn You! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!
Can I get an “Amen?”
(collective “AMEN!”)
Can I get a Hallelujah?
(collective “HALLELUJAH!”)
Thank you, Jesus
“How would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?”
(apple orchard scene in The Wizard of Oz”)
The scent of freshly cut grass is a form of crying out. https://io9.gizmodo.com/5623112/the-smell-of-freshly-cut-grass-is-actually-a-plant-distress-call
Kill a woodpecker, save a tree!
The way things are going, the only thing a lefty will be able to eat ‘ethically’ is fetus.