Oppressing a Living Organism

 

I was coming home this evening, to see a woman (white, 40s) looking disapprovingly at the cameras I have mounted on a tree above the sidewalk. So I rolled down my window and enquired as to her concern.

She said, “Nobody should ever do something like THAT to an Living Organism!”

Wait, what?

“You attached things to the tree! That is a horrible thing to do!”

“Madam,” I replied. “You do realize that you drilled holes in your ears for your earrings. Are you not a living organism? Or are trees just more important than people?”

I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

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  1. Yehoshua Ben-Eliyahu Inactive
    Yehoshua Ben-Eliyahu
    @YehoshuaBenEliyahu

    In ancient Israel, it was forbidden to plant trees next to an altar  because of the temptation to worship trees in place of G-d.  If you had asked this lady if trees are more important than G-d, I think I know what her answer would have been.  To the pagan mind, nothing is superior to the earth and what grows in it.

    • #31
  2. Seawriter Contributor
    Seawriter
    @Seawriter

    • #32
  3. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, darn.  Now you know where her head is at.

    Ask her if an endangered species of tree were found on her property, is it right for the government to relocate her (without just compensation) to another house to live.

    If she says “Yes”, she recognizes the trap in your argument.  If she says “No”, then ask her if she fully supports the 5th Amendment in the Constitution . . .

    • #33
  4. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Hey! What about bugs?! Some people eat bugs. They are very popular in some circles. In Thailand, there is a sect of Buddhism where the monks are very careful where they walk so they don’t kill any bugs. Then there are mosquitoes . . .

    • #34
  5. She Member
    She
    @She

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    Hey! What about bugs?! Some people eat bugs. They are very popular in some circles. In Thailand, there is a sect of Buddhism where the monks are very careful where they walk so they don’t kill any bugs. Then there are mosquitoes . . .

    Lord.  I’d hate to think what sound crickets make when you chew them (knowing as I do how disturbing the sound of lettuce in that situation can be).

    • #35
  6. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    She (View Comment):
    Lord. I’d hate to think what sound crickets make when you chew them (knowing as I do how disturbing the sound of lettuce in that situation can be).

    They crunch.

    • #36
  7. PHenry Inactive
    PHenry
    @PHenry

    Susan Quinn (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):
    Lord. I’d hate to think what sound crickets make when you chew them (knowing as I do how disturbing the sound of lettuce in that situation can be).

    They crunch.

    • #37
  8. JustmeinAZ Member
    JustmeinAZ
    @JustmeinAZ

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, as Dennis Prager would say: “Clarity over agreement”.

    • #38
  9. :thinking: Member
    :thinking:
    @TheRoyalFamily

    • #39
  10. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    PHCheese (View Comment):

    She Must be a member of the Bush Family.

    That was awful.

    • #40
  11. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    [duplicate Carrot Juice Is Murder deleted.]

    Also…

    • #41
  12. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    :thinking: (View Comment):

    • #42
  13. Bunwick Chiffswiddle Member
    Bunwick Chiffswiddle
    @Kephalithos

    Plant a strangler fig. Let it grow, and watch her mind explode.

    • #43
  14. Misthiocracy, Joke Pending Member
    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending
    @Misthiocracy

    Stad (View Comment):

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, darn. Now you know where her head is at.

    Ask her if an endangered species of tree were found on her property, is it right for the government to relocate her (without just compensation) to another house to live.

    If she says “Yes”, she recognizes the trap in your argument. If she says “No”, then ask her if she fully supports the 5th Amendment in the Consitution . . .

    She can say “yes” all she wants because, as a (I presume) prosperous American citizen she knows she’s protected by the constitution no matter what nonsense she merely believes and therefore her so-called “principles” will never be tested.

    • #44
  15. Paul Erickson Inactive
    Paul Erickson
    @PaulErickson

    Stad (View Comment):

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, darn. Now you know where her head is at.

    Ask her if an endangered species of tree were found on her property, is it right for the government to relocate her (without just compensation) to another house to live.

    If she says “Yes”, she recognizes the trap in your argument. If she says “No”, then ask her if she fully supports the 5th Amendment in the Consitution . . .

    The Constitution is invalid.  Written on paper, which comes from… well, you know.

    • #45
  16. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):

    Oh. My Very. Goshness. However did you interact with her with a straight face?!

    Son #3 was next to me in the car. He was plotzing. He could not believe she walked into it.

    • #46
  17. Bishop Wash Member
    Bishop Wash
    @BishopWash

    Paul Erickson (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, darn. Now you know where her head is at.

    Ask her if an endangered species of tree were found on her property, is it right for the government to relocate her (without just compensation) to another house to live.

    If she says “Yes”, she recognizes the trap in your argument. If she says “No”, then ask her if she fully supports the 5th Amendment in the Consitution . . .

    The Constitution is invalid. Written on paper, which comes from… well, you know.

    Hemp? I’ve been told the founding fathers made everything out of hemp. 

    • #47
  18. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    PHenry (View Comment):

    Mourning the loss of the old growth.  Such a great video.  A real classic.

    • #48
  19. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    PHenry (View Comment):

    “But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name.”

    Instead of Pocahontas converting to Christianity, John Smith converts to paganism.

    Thanks, Disney!

    • #49
  20. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    PHenry (View Comment):

    “But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name.”

    Instead of Pocahontas converting to Christianity, John Smith converts to paganism.

    Thanks, Disney!

    Yeesh!

    • #50
  21. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Trees are not your friends. Wind storm, they fall on your house, ice storm their branches fall on power lines, or onto your car. A chainsaw is your friend.

    OMG! They killed Sonny! 

    • #51
  22. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    :thinking: (View Comment):

    I could refute this by pointing out that plants developed chemical warfare before we developed backbones, but it’s just too wisdomly to attack. 

    • #52
  23. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    iWe (View Comment):

    Nanda Panjandrum (View Comment):

    Oh. My Very. Goshness. However did you interact with her with a straight face?!

    Son #3 was next to me in the car. He was plotzing. He could not believe she walked into it.

    Would that she had walked into the tree and had an epiphany. Or a headache. 

    • #53
  24. TBA Coolidge
    TBA
    @RobtGilsdorf

    Bishop Wash (View Comment):

    Paul Erickson (View Comment):

    Stad (View Comment):

    iWe: I kid you not. She looked at me, and said, “Trees ARE more important than people!”

    Well, darn. Now you know where her head is at.

    Ask her if an endangered species of tree were found on her property, is it right for the government to relocate her (without just compensation) to another house to live.

    If she says “Yes”, she recognizes the trap in your argument. If she says “No”, then ask her if she fully supports the 5th Amendment in the Consitution . . .

    The Constitution is invalid. Written on paper, which comes from… well, you know.

    Hemp? I’ve been told the founding fathers made everything out of hemp.

    Even their iPhones and cars. 

    • #54
  25. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    Imagine what this hippy’s home smells like.

     

    I guess driving a car would be considered insecticide. 

    • #55
  26. Michael Collins Member
    Michael Collins
    @MichaelCollins

    Misthiocracy, Joke Pending (View Comment):

    :thinking: (View Comment):

    Like Harrison Bergeron, an excellent parable against egalitarianism.  

    • #56
  27. Randy Webster Inactive
    Randy Webster
    @RandyWebster

    OkieSailor (View Comment):

    Doug Watt (View Comment):

    Trees are not your friends. Wind storm, they fall on your house, ice storm their branches fall on power lines, or onto your car. A chainsaw is your friend.

    What? There’s no lumber in your house?

    It’s mostly Canadian anymore.

    • #57
  28. GrannyDude Member
    GrannyDude
    @GrannyDude

    I suppose you could’ve told her, with wide-eyed sincerity, that you’d asked the tree’s permission? 

    • #58
  29. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    :thinking: (View Comment):

    If we were all trees, we’d end up becoming furniture.

    • #59
  30. John Seymour Member
    John Seymour
    @

    She (View Comment):

    Eustace C. Scrubb (View Comment):

    I hope she never walks on grass. If you listen very hard you can hear the blades say “Ow!”

    We knew someone who wouldn’t eat lettuce because he said he could hear it scream when he chewed it. Seriously.

    I know people like that – they just needed to get their meds adjusted.

    • #60
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