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Fifty More Ways to Leave Your Lover
Does the song “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” annoy you? Good. There’s nothing like hate to get the creative juices flowing. Back in 1975, maybe it was edgy to hint that you were such a lover you needed to plan 50 escapes from your latest (no doubt cis-het) tryst. But these days? Bah. Much more creativity is required to extricate oneself from postmodern affairs of the heart. So…
Here are just a few new reasons for leaving your lover. Can you top them?
- ‘Cuz I’m wearing your girdle, Myrtle
- It’s because I’m a man, Stan
- I’m in love with your mom, Tom
- Interspecies romance, Vance
- ‘Cuz you voted for Trump, chump
- ‘Cuz you said, “I’m With Her,” cur
- You don’t wanna be poly, Mollie
- ‘Cuz I got a waifu, boo
- Gender bend when I want to
- It’s no longer taboo, Sue
How’d you set yourself free?
Published in Humor
You have put way too much thought into this, lol.
Dang song’s a bleepin’ earworm. Could not resist sharing my torment.
We’ll get even, Steven!
It was playing on the radio when I came home from work. It is less than a seven minute drive, and almost all of it was taken up by this melodic disaster.
And I disagree: it is not an earworm. It is a song without a hook. There are Gregorian chants that rock harder than this.
I am sorry, just an attempt at a joke late at night that didn’t turn out well. I know nothing, about anyone.
No reason to apologize. I was not offended. I had had too much to drink by then and decided it would be best for all concerned to quit hijacking threads and sleep it off. Later croc.
Carry on.
The litany of internal rhyme is the hook. It takes almost no time to wear a groove in your brain that has you going,
ad nauseam.
Damned insidious is what it is. I hear it in the rhythm of our dishwasher, when I’m scrubbing the floor… Once it’s in your head, you can hear it in everything, and It. Doesn’t. Stop.
Sure, there are Gregorian chants that rock harder than this. Simon’s voice is on the metrosexual side, his instrumentation is quirky, perhaps even twee (am I using that word right?). But to be honest, I find the dweeby humor in his songs rather endearing. I don’t think I’d hate “Fifty Ways” if it didn’t start this script in my brain randomly churning out ever more ridiculous ways to spurn one’s lover. But it does.
It’s not just me, is it?
lol, it seems like you are kind of obsessed with this song, maybe listening to a different song would get it out of your mind? :)
Even a different Paul Simon song. There are lots of better ones.
I like a lot of his songs. I like pretty much all the songs on “Still Crazy After All These Years.” This one is a dog.
I didn’t have one in the first place; but when I get one, I’m gonna *stay*, ‘k? :-D
Gimmie a break, ‘snake.
And that’s him hangin’ on the shed!
Guess I’d better head to the gym, Slim . . .
Just get out the slack, Jack
It’s not too firm, Herm.
Won’t get stiff, Biff
Stop lookin’ at me.
I just can’t get on, John
You need a blue pill, Phil
Never happened to me, Lee
Gotta get myself free.
Ouch!
funny too mush