Fear Not, Congressional Lechers — Help Is on the Way!

 

According to this article in the Washington Post, the House is beginning “important steps” to require members and staff to undergo mandatory training to prevent sexual harassment and discrimination. The Senate is expected to follow suit (paradoxically, in an effort to forestall suits, I suppose).

Both Republicans and Democrats are getting behind (can I say behind?) efforts to stop these boobs from embarrassing themselves and their once-respected and hallowed halls and institutions any more than they already have.

Yes, indeed. A training session a few hours long, imposed upon the likes of John Conyers and Al Franken, reminding them that it is not ok to hold meetings with their staffers while wearing only their underwear, or that any sort of photograph where they appear to be about to grab the breasts of a sleeping woman is in spectacularly bad taste, will fix them right up. All the morals, ethics, common sense and wisdom that they either weren’t born with, or that they’ve failed to acquire during their succeeding 88 and 66 years (respectively) on this earth, will suddenly burst into their heads fully-formed, like Minerva in reverse.

Here’s hoping they don’t grab her butt as she flies by.

Published in Humor
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 54 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Ian Mullican Inactive
    Ian Mullican
    @IanMullican

     

    Tough NOT to!

    • #1
  2. OccupantCDN Coolidge
    OccupantCDN
    @OccupantCDN

    This is what happens to an organization that exempts itself from the laws that it passes. They begin to believe that they’re above the law.

    I think the best way to prevent this from happening in the future, is to make congress subject to all the laws it passes.

    • #2
  3. She Member
    She
    @She

    Ian Mullican (View Comment):

    Tough NOT to!

    There you go again.  Blaming the victim . . . .

    • #3
  4. She Member
    She
    @She

    Having survived a veritable plethora of every imaginable kind of workplace training over the past thirty-five years, I am amusing myself by inventing role-playing scenarios and multiple choice quizzes for this sort of thing.

     

    • #4
  5. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    The great thing about a training system like this is it can be made into a system of certified, licensed and subsidized lecherism.

    • #5
  6. Chuckles Coolidge
    Chuckles
    @Chuckles

    She:Both Republicans and Democrats are getting behind (can I say behind?) efforts to stop these boobs

    Can you say boobs?

    In any case, about time they endure what they forced me to endure yea these many years ago.

    • #6
  7. Jimmy Carter Member
    Jimmy Carter
    @JimmyCarter

    They can hold the training on the floor of the House when They are all assembled at the same time….. the State of the Union. Apropos, no?

    The lecturer is a Lady and when She makes Her way down the aisle toward the lectern everyone is standing, clapping, and cheering (as normal), but a number of Reps are pinching Her rear, “honking” Her chest, whistling….

    • #7
  8. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    She (View Comment):
    Having survived a veritable plethora of every imaginable kind of workplace training over the past thirty-five years, I am amusing myself by inventing role-playing scenarios and multiple choice quizzes for this sort of thing.

    A coworker bends over a tight skirt in front of you. Do you…?

    A) slap her butt in a friendly gesture, as athletes often do

    B) yell “Hump Day!” and mention that funny commercial with the camel

    C) throw loose change on the floor in front of her

    D) assume its just another male employee in a skirt and walk away

    E) immediately report yourself to the nearest Temple of Tolerance for having glanced at any part of another human being without written consent signed by a notary and a Public Dibs Inspector

     

    • #8
  9. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Has there ever been any evidence that these mandatory training sessions actually work to prevent sexual harassment?

    Are you shaking your head? Is that a “no”?

    I didn’t think so.

    But we feel so good about ourselves for mandating it. And then we get to pretend the problem is solved! QED!

    • #9
  10. DrewInWisconsin Member
    DrewInWisconsin
    @DrewInWisconsin

    Anyone keeping count of the number of Democrats vs. the number of Republicans being caught up in this sudden streak of moralism?

    Yeah, that’s wrong of me to make comparisons, but I’m guessing the ratio is something like 80/20?

    • #10
  11. Larry Koler Inactive
    Larry Koler
    @LarryKoler

    DrewInWisconsin (View Comment):
    Anyone keeping count of the number of Democrats vs. the number of Republicans being caught up in this sudden streak of moralism?

    Yeah, that’s wrong of me to make comparisons, but I’m guessing the ratio is something like 80/20?

    And the reason: the Republicans are not more virtuous — it’s just that they really do have to fear the MSM going after them for any slight. They know they are being watched for any mistake and the Dems are watched for any virtue (so they can write a puff piece).

    • #11
  12. She Member
    She
    @She

    Aaron Miller (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):
    Having survived a veritable plethora of every imaginable kind of workplace training over the past thirty-five years, I am amusing myself by inventing role-playing scenarios and multiple choice quizzes for this sort of thing.

    A coworker bends over a tight skirt in front of you. Do you…?

    A) slap her butt in a friendly gesture, as athletes often do

    B) yell “Hump Day!” and mention that funny commercial with the camel

    C) throw loose change on the floor in front of her

    D) assume its just another male employee in a skirt and walk away

    E) immediately report yourself to the nearest Temple of Tolerance for having glanced at any part of another human being without written consent signed by a notary and a Public Dibs Inspector

    Just wanted to “like” this more than once.

    • #12
  13. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    The purpose of “mandatory training” is not to prevent something, but to establish as a legal matter, that something is institutionally disapproved, thus relieving the institution of any future stain for the conduct of individual members. It is a “virtuous thing” having value only in its “virtue” and not in its effectiveness. It is the very definition of progressive thought.

    Conservative thought is to individually and directly act against a perpetrator. This action reinforces one’s individual dignity. The action is calling the person out and daring them to take an adverse action as a result of your self-defense. This actually prevents and deters.

    Mandatory training simply signals that in the future the perpetrator has to be more sly about it.

    • #13
  14. NCforSCFC Inactive
    NCforSCFC
    @NCforSCFC

    She (View Comment):
    Having survived a veritable plethora of every imaginable kind of workplace training over the past thirty-five years, I am amusing myself by inventing role-playing scenarios and multiple choice quizzes for this sort of thing.

    You are a male.  A female teenager is visiting your office to receive an award and take a photo.  Please circle your appropriate action:

    a) Lean down and smell her hair

    b) Pull her uncomfortably close to you for the picture

    c) Place your hands oddly near her chest

    d) All of the above

    e) None of the above

     

    • #14
  15. Rodin Member
    Rodin
    @Rodin

    NCforSCFC (View Comment):

    She (View Comment):
    Having survived a veritable plethora of every imaginable kind of workplace training over the past thirty-five years, I am amusing myself by inventing role-playing scenarios and multiple choice quizzes for this sort of thing.

    You are a male. A female teenager is visiting your office to receive an award and take a photo. Please circle your appropriate action:

    a) Lean down and smell her hair

    b) Pull her uncomfortably close to you for the picture

    c) Place your hands oddly near her chest

    d) All of the above

    e) None of the above

    d) is “Biden appropriate”

    • #15
  16. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    My experience with the various harassment training is that they tend to cause an increase in charges, suits, claims, etc as minorities discover what little actions can be used to claim harassment and that there is absolutely no ramifications of making false charges and destroying peoples careers.

    • #16
  17. Paul Erickson Inactive
    Paul Erickson
    @PaulErickson

    Jimmy Carter (View Comment):
    They can hold the training on the floor of the House when They are all assembled at the same time….. the State of the Union. Apropos, no?

    The lecturer is a Lady and when She makes Her way down the aisle toward the lectern everyone is standing, clapping, and cheering (as normal), but a number of Reps are pinching Her rear, “honking” Her chest, whistling….

    But I wonder – if the Lady Lecturer is nervous – does she imagine her audience is naked?

    • #17
  18. Scott Wilmot Member
    Scott Wilmot
    @ScottWilmot

    Rodin (View Comment):
    The purpose of “mandatory training” is not to prevent something, but to establish as a legal matter, that something is institutionally disapproved, thus relieving the institution of any future stain for the conduct of individual members. It is a “virtuous thing” having value only in its “virtue” and not in its effectiveness. It is the very definition of progressive thought.

    Conservative thought is to individually and directly act against a perpetrator. This action reinforces one’s individual dignity. The action is calling the person out and daring them to take an adverse action as a result of your self-defense. This actually prevents and deters.

    Mandatory training simply signals that in the future the perpetrator has to be more sly about it.

    I think this is the best comment I have ever read here on Ricochet. I spent 33 years at ExxonMobil going through this garbage, most of it in the latter half of my career.

    • #18
  19. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    DrewInWisconsin (View Comment):
    Has there ever been any evidence that these mandatory training sessions actually work to prevent sexual harassment?

    Are you shaking your head? Is that a “no”?

    I didn’t think so.

    But we feel so good about ourselves for mandating it. And then we get to pretend the problem is solved! QED!

    Drew,

    Wasn’t this the first postulate of the Obama Administration? “Pretending is our most important product.”

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #19
  20. Percival Thatcher
    Percival
    @Percival

    Rodin (View Comment):
    The purpose of “mandatory training” is not to prevent something, but to establish as a legal matter, that something is institutionally disapproved, thus relieving the institution of any future stain for the conduct of individual members. It is a “virtuous thing” having value only in its “virtue” and not in its effectiveness. It is the very definition of progressive thought.

    That is it exactly. “We told him in no uncertain terms that we would not tolerate such behavior.” It is part of an effort to mitigate the employer’s responsibility. If it dissuades a creep in advance, that’s all to the good, but it isn’t the primary purpose.

    • #20
  21. Kozak Member
    Kozak
    @Kozak

    Fake John/Jane Galt (View Comment):
    My experience with the various harassment training is that they tend to cause an increase in charges, suits, claims, etc as minorities discover what little actions can be used to claim harassment and that there is absolutely no ramifications of making false charges and destroying peoples careers.

    At Kaiser in California we had a situation.

    In the ER stress levels can be sky high.  On one occasion we had a bad pediatric resuscitation,  and everyone in the department felt it.  One of the docs took it particularly hard.  One of the nurses rubbed his neck for a few seconds, through his scrubs and lab coat.  A completely innocuous, human gesture.

    A third party witnessed it, felt “uncomfortable” and reported it  as “creating a hostile work environment”.

    So because one disturbed individual felt uncomfortable, we all had to endure an HR training session, which by the way ended up in a shouting match between the infuriated ER staff and the poor HR weinie who had to give the talk.

    • #21
  22. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    I can’t wait to see any other suggestions for wasting our tax dollars. Let’s remember that they only work three days per week, and they’ll be spending part of that time in training sessions. OMG. Hey, let’s have them go to the training on their own time!  ;-)

    • #22
  23. Aaron Miller Inactive
    Aaron Miller
    @AaronMiller

    A cis-gendered male looks at you with a glint in his eye. Do you….?

    A) immediately notify your department’s Glints and Penumbras Inspector

    B) call a department conference to discuss your feelings

    C) smile politely, joke about it, then quietly file charges for rape

    D) inform your manager for an instant, no-questions-asked salary bonus

    E) request a free burqa from Human Resources and Pre-Crime Development so you do not invite glinting in the future

    • #23
  24. She Member
    She
    @She

    Aaron Miller (View Comment):
    A cis-gendered male looks at you with a glint in his eye. Do you….?

    A) immediately notify your department’s Glints and Penumbras Inspector

    B) call a department conference to discuss your feelings

    C) smile politely, joke about it, then quietly file charges for rape

    D) inform your manager for an instant, no-questions-asked salary bonus

    E) request a free burqa from Human Resources and Pre-Crime Development so you do not invite glinting in the future

    Aaron, whatever your calling is, I think you’ve missed it!

    • #24
  25. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    The world has gone insane.

    • #25
  26. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    She: their once-respected and hallowed halls and institutions

    I thought we were speaking of Congress.

    • #26
  27. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    She: Here’s hoping they don’t grab her butt as she flies by.

    Inadvisable. She is armed and dangerous.

    • #27
  28. Chuckles Coolidge
    Chuckles
    @Chuckles

    iWe (View Comment):
    The world has gone insane.

    Wonder when the Libs will discover the telecommuting loophole and change laws to require telecommuters to engage in harrassment training.  Heh.

    • #28
  29. The Reticulator Member
    The Reticulator
    @TheReticulator

    Kozak (View Comment):
    A third party witnessed it, felt “uncomfortable” and reported it as “creating a hostile work environment”.

    So because one disturbed individual felt uncomfortable, we all had to endure an HR training session, which by the way ended up in a shouting match between the infuriated ER staff and the poor HR weinie who had to give the talk.

    It’s true. At that session you had a hostile work environment.

    • #29
  30. aardo vozz Member
    aardo vozz
    @aardovozz

    Aaron Miller (View Comment):
    A cis-gendered male looks at you with a glint in his eye.

    If a cis-gendered male is looking at me with a glint in his eye, then he probably needs an emergency ophthalmology evaluation.

    • #30
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.