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The 15 Most-Overlooked Headlines of the 2016 Presidential Campaign
With the campaign-fueled news cycle now exceeding the speed of light, even the most avid news junkies are liable to have completely overlooked some of the most glaring headlines of 2016. Below are 15 of the glaring-est.
Democrats To Cut Out Middle Man, Copy Russia On All Emails – New York Times, April 27
Trump Absentmindedly Sculpts Refried Beans Into Wall Around Street Tacos – New York Times, October 4
Report: Clinton Foundation Lacks Even Legitimacy Of Clinton Marriage – L.A. Times, May 2
Hurricane Matthew Now Identifies As Tropical Storm Miami Herald, October 11
Nation Gropes Helplessly For Strong Anti-Groping Candidate – New York Post, August 30
Hillary Vows As President To Bleach Hair, Hard Drive – Wall Street Journal, October 15
Trump Surges In Polls After Calling Baby “Ugly” – L.A. Times, August 16
Father Shouts “Earmuffs!” At Toddler During Debate – Boston Globe, October 19
Handlers Somberly Inform Hillary Of “Offline” Constitution – Alaska Dispatch News, October 2
School’s Anti-Bullying Policy Calls For Beating Living [Expletive] Out Of Bullies – Atlanta Journal Constitution
Trump, Clinton Vie For Coveted Bill Cosby Endorsement – Variety, January 30
Iraqi Presidential Race Within Margin Of Terror – Wall Street Journal, June 1
Hillary Warns Trump Represents Return To “1990’s-era” Attitudes Toward Women – L.A. Times, September 20
Trump Grope-On Special Promised “Two Broads For Price Of One” – San Francisco Chronicle
Vegas Oddsmakers Give America Little Chance Of Winning Election – Investor’s Business Daily
Published in General
Isn’t this a poll? I don’t see how to vote for my favorite!
This is too good to waste on us.
Great stuff as always, Dave!
Good stuff, David! I’m waiting for your show schedule to be updated, in case you do a show in my part of the country next year.
It’s for entertainment purposes only. I say this because in this new era some of these headlines are suddenly plausible.
Thanks, Matt: glad you enjoyed it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Thanks, Randy. 2017 tour dates will be up very soon.
The nicest compliment there is.
Thanks, Hoyacon.
Funny stuff, David. Thanks. We could really use more funny stuff these days.
We laugh to keep from voting.
LOVE these; especially the last one…Keep ’em coming!
I thought this one was real; kind of an “Onion” in reverse just to see if we were paying attention.
Nailed it Dave.
That is the T. Total Truth.
Thanks. I needed a good LOL today!
All terrific, but the last one is best.
Bonus headline – Trump: “I have broad appeal” Misinterpreted By Media
This is a good one:
“Smartmatic, a U.K.-based voting technology company with deep ties to George Soros, has control over voting machines in 16 states including battleground zones like Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Virginia.”
It was so funny to me to see how many stories and headlines used the word “grope” during Bill Clinton’s administration. I think it was a lot of Freudian slips.
Great post. I wish they weren’t so plausible. :)
This one is pure gold.
All of them are funny. That one really sends me.
Gives me a reason to switch to laughing tissues, instead of crying tissues.
I’ve been seeing a lot of this lately. Did Hillary’s agents redact out what you had said?
No, it was late. I posted something on this thread meant for another one.
So it wasn’t meant to suggest we would have been better off with no news than all the garbage we’ve heard this year?
But are you invested in physical gold?
Curiously, this school has no bully problem.