What Does It Mean to Be Good?

 

After listening to the most recent GLOP podcast, I started to think about the meaning of being good. John Podhoretz mentioned the death of Gene Wilder; he shared that Wilder had been obsessed with being good. Anything taken to an extreme, such as an obsession, can be a detriment to our lives: the obsession becomes the center of our universe and everything else is secondary. The story caused me to think about my own commitment to being good, what that meant to me, and how I acted upon it.

As a child, I practiced being good to avoid getting into trouble! But as I matured, I realized that intuitively I wanted to do good because G-d expected me to. Finally, I chose to be and do good because I wanted to serve G-d. Although goodness is partly an “inside job,” it is also demonstrated in how we act in the world. So I can think about good things I’d like to do, but unless I actually do them, I am not fulfilling my understanding of being good.

I spent a little time exploring how others saw being good. In one article the writer suggested the following:

Always ask yourself: Am I defining “good” as that which looks good to the fast-food-Internet-Hollywood segment of society, or am I defining “good” as that which has real meaning, a deep message, and makes a valuable contribution to society?

To be good, we also are called to do things that we really don’t want to do, or that are unpleasant. To be with my husband who has a condition that causes him to cough, often loudly, can be challenging. How can I be a good person around him and in a way that helps him? There are times when I think I can’t bear another moment. But then I stop my flailing thoughts, breathe deeply, continue my knitting or reading, and allow him to do what he needs to do; that, for me, is being good.

I also love to lead my meditation group and to be a hospice volunteer. Visits with friends and being present for them are also ways to be good. Being good for me also demands that I only do as much as I can, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Lots of people spread more goodness than I do, but I know my limitations, and to be good for everyone, including myself, I find a balance in those activities.

Am I always good? Hardly! Sometimes I am selfish, self-centered and clueless. But I am also human. And like many folks, I do my best.

Some of you may think that you do things in the unfolding of your lives but you don’t think about whether they are good or not. You just do them because they call to be done. In my view, that is the actualization of a deeply held goodness.

So my heart goes out to someone like Gene Wilder. I expect that he was a good person, even if he was obsessed with being good. My hope for him is that he was able to embrace his goodness in ways that were fulfilling and rewarding for him, as well as for others.

So what does it mean for you to be good? What is your own definition? Why is it important to you? How do you teach it to your children? How do you act upon it in the world?

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  1. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    iWe:

    Richard Harvester: We have had a lot of people who have claimed to be Messiah. The latest significant one died in 1994.

    A quibble: I am not aware that he ever explicitly made the claim. Many of his followers did, though.

    Schneerson constantly objected to any talk that he could be the Messiah.

    • #181
  2. michael johnson Inactive
    michael johnson
    @michaeljohnson

    Richard Harvester:

    The Rebbe Menachem Schneerson. Full disclosure, I was an admirer of his (but far from a Messianic follower), of his. He did a lot of wonderful things.

    thanks for the reference…..I am almost completely ignorant about…..what would be the word….Jewishness….Jewism?  I never knew a single one growing up in SC and have only encountered a handful since. Most all I know I can attribute to Faye Kellerman’s Peter Decker detective novels.  There is a lot of info out there about Rebbe Schneerson…the kind of guy you’d like to know.

    • #182
  3. michael johnson Inactive
    michael johnson
    @michaeljohnson

    This is one reason we discourage conversion – you take on obligations for yourself and your descendants that you don’t have if you aren’t Jewish.

    I have been waiting for Andrew Klavan’s book for two months now, just to know more.

    • #183
  4. Richard Harvester Inactive
    Richard Harvester
    @RichardHarvester

    michael johnson: ost all I know I can attribute to Faye Kellerman’s Peter Decker detective novels.

    Good books those :)

    There is a lot of info out there about Rebbe Schneerson…the kind of guy you’d like to know.

    I met him a few times. Being as he’s been dead for over 20 years and some still regard him as the Messiah I’ve learned never to mention that in certain social circles :)

    I made that mistake once and had a very very hard time extricating myself.

    It is amazing to see those who never met him (who were just too young) having a fervency I never encountered when he was alive.

    That said, there are some classic jokes.

    • #184
  5. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    I’m in contact with a Chabad Rabbi, and there is nothing Messianic about the Rebbe on his web site. He doesn’t agree with you that my daughter is a Jew, even tho I converted 35 years ago, and her father is a Jew from ancient lines both Russian and Moroccan. My own ancestry DNA shows my grandfather’s ancestors were from the Jews of Rhodes. I was really unhappy with all the different Christian and other religions I was exposed to growing up. When I started studying Judaism I felt like I had come home. I’m still very ignorant about Judaism as I wasn’t raised a Jew, but I am learning. My daughter has been identified as a Jew by strangers. She isn’t typically Jewish looking but just something about her aura. She just buried her father less than 2 weeks ago and iWe stated what she did for her father was an ” incredible mitzvah to bury her father with honor.”

    • #185
  6. Richard Harvester Inactive
    Richard Harvester
    @RichardHarvester

    Kay of MT:I’m in contact with a Chabad Rabbi, and there is nothing Messianic about the Rebbe on his web site.

    It is not universal in Chabad by any stretch. They too are still working it out. My impression is that it is a bit embarassing and so they don’t put on displays that people outside the movement really grasp. It does seem to be the dominant flavor here in Israel. Subtle things like kippot that read “Adonenu Morenu Rabbenu Melech HaMoschiach” and websites not in memory of the Rebbe but in honor of him are the kinds of flags that separate the groups.

    • #186
  7. Richard Harvester Inactive
    Richard Harvester
    @RichardHarvester

    Kay of MT: He doesn’t agree with you that my daughter is a Jew, even tho I converted 35 years ago, and her father is a Jew from ancient lines both Russian and Moroccan. My own ancestry DNA shows my grandfather’s ancestors were from the Jews of Rhodes.

    I used to run a synagogue in Portland Oregon and this came up a lot. iWe and I have studied this in more depth and I think both of us are more accepting of a range of conversions than is standard. In your case, the timeline obviously matters.

    I was really unhappy with all the different Christian and other religions I was exposed to growing up. When I started studying Judaism I felt like I had come home. I’m still very ignorant about Judaism as I wasn’t raised a Jew, but I am learning. My daughter has been identified as a Jew by strangers. She isn’t typically Jewish looking but just something about her aura.

    It is fascinating. I am not so identifiable.

    She just buried her father less than 2 weeks ago and iWe stated what she did for her father was an ” incredible mitzvah to bury her father with honor.”

    I am sorry to hear of his death. May his positive impact continue through her and you for generations to come.

    • #187
  8. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Susan Quinn:I wonder how the Christians following this feed would feel if there was a group calling themselves Jewish Christians. At the very least, I would think it would sound odd and contradictory.

    Not at all.  Nothing makes more sense to me.  If Jesus ain’t the Jewish Messiah, Christianity is rubbish.

    “Completed Jew” sounds about right to me.  It’s probably a bit condescending in the way it might be condescending to call Gentile followers of the Messiah “Tag-a-long Little Brothers” or something.  (But that’s a good name.  It’s pretty much what I am.  Or else my faith is rubbish.)

    • #188
  9. RightAngles Member
    RightAngles
    @RightAngles

    Snirtler:

    RightAngles:On the whole, I hope to God there isn’t a “defending your life” thing at the end where they play your life back to you.

    I’ve heard that not only is your life played back to you, but that it’s played back to every other rational creature in the universe.

    Haha. Thanks a bunch @snirtler

    • #189
  10. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Saint Augustine:Not at all. Nothing makes more sense to me. If Jesus ain’t the Jewish Messiah, Christianity is rubbish.

    “Completed Jew” sounds about right to me. It’s probably a bit condescending in the way it might be condescending to call Gentile followers of the Messiah “Tag-a-long Little Brothers” or something. (But that’s a good name. It’s pretty much what I am. Or else my faith is rubbish.)

    This is kind of sad, because what you are saying is, “If the Jews don’t validate that Jesus was the Messiah, then my faith is rubbish.” It shows your lack of faith not ours.

    • #190
  11. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Kay of MT:

    Saint Augustine:

    Not at all. Nothing makes more sense to me. If Jesus ain’t the Jewish Messiah, Christianity is rubbish.

    “Completed Jew” sounds about right to me. It’s probably a bit condescending in the way it might be condescending to call Gentile followers of the Messiah “Tag-a-long Little Brothers” or something. (But that’s a good name. It’s pretty much what I am. Or else my faith is rubbish.)

    . . . what you are saying is, “If the Jews don’t validate that Jesus was the Messiah, then my faith is rubbish.”

    Wait.  What?  I’m not saying that at all!

    Seriously, how does anything I’ve said lead to that?

    Wait-a-minute. . . . When I say “Jewish Messiah,” do you think I mean “the Messiah recognized by Jews”?

    That’s not what I mean; I mean the Messiah prophesied in the Tanakh.

    • #191
  12. Kay of MT Inactive
    Kay of MT
    @KayofMT

    Saint Augustine: If Jesus ain’t the Jewish Messiah, Christianity is rubbish.

    Saint Augustine: Wait. What? I’m not saying that at all!

    That is exactly what you said.

    • #192
  13. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    The English language (not for the first time) has failed as a vehicle of communication.

    Kay of MT:That is exactly what you said.

    No; no, it’s not.  Here are the sentences:

    Saint Augustine:

    If Jesus ain’t the Jewish Messiah, [my faith] is rubbish.

    Kay of MT:. . . what you are saying is, “If the Jews don’t validate that Jesus was the Messiah, then my faith is rubbish.

    Those are not the same sentences.  They don’t mean the same thing.  I’m at a loss as to why anyone would think they mean the same thing, unless it’s for the reason suggested in # 191:

    Saint Augustine:When I say “Jewish Messiah,” do you think I mean “the Messiah recognized by Jews”?

    That’s not what I mean; I mean the Messiah prophesied in the Tanakh.

    • #193
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