What Does It Mean to Be Good?

 

After listening to the most recent GLOP podcast, I started to think about the meaning of being good. John Podhoretz mentioned the death of Gene Wilder; he shared that Wilder had been obsessed with being good. Anything taken to an extreme, such as an obsession, can be a detriment to our lives: the obsession becomes the center of our universe and everything else is secondary. The story caused me to think about my own commitment to being good, what that meant to me, and how I acted upon it.

As a child, I practiced being good to avoid getting into trouble! But as I matured, I realized that intuitively I wanted to do good because G-d expected me to. Finally, I chose to be and do good because I wanted to serve G-d. Although goodness is partly an “inside job,” it is also demonstrated in how we act in the world. So I can think about good things I’d like to do, but unless I actually do them, I am not fulfilling my understanding of being good.

I spent a little time exploring how others saw being good. In one article the writer suggested the following:

Always ask yourself: Am I defining “good” as that which looks good to the fast-food-Internet-Hollywood segment of society, or am I defining “good” as that which has real meaning, a deep message, and makes a valuable contribution to society?

To be good, we also are called to do things that we really don’t want to do, or that are unpleasant. To be with my husband who has a condition that causes him to cough, often loudly, can be challenging. How can I be a good person around him and in a way that helps him? There are times when I think I can’t bear another moment. But then I stop my flailing thoughts, breathe deeply, continue my knitting or reading, and allow him to do what he needs to do; that, for me, is being good.

I also love to lead my meditation group and to be a hospice volunteer. Visits with friends and being present for them are also ways to be good. Being good for me also demands that I only do as much as I can, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Lots of people spread more goodness than I do, but I know my limitations, and to be good for everyone, including myself, I find a balance in those activities.

Am I always good? Hardly! Sometimes I am selfish, self-centered and clueless. But I am also human. And like many folks, I do my best.

Some of you may think that you do things in the unfolding of your lives but you don’t think about whether they are good or not. You just do them because they call to be done. In my view, that is the actualization of a deeply held goodness.

So my heart goes out to someone like Gene Wilder. I expect that he was a good person, even if he was obsessed with being good. My hope for him is that he was able to embrace his goodness in ways that were fulfilling and rewarding for him, as well as for others.

So what does it mean for you to be good? What is your own definition? Why is it important to you? How do you teach it to your children? How do you act upon it in the world?

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  1. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Each person has their own path and their own challenges, so any person who seeks to imitate the life of another is denying their G-d-given opportunities.

    I try to define goodness like G-d does in the Torah: Acts of creativity, elevating the physical into the spiritual plane, loving others… seeking and building a relationship with G-d and with his manifestations in this world: humanity.

    • #1
  2. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    iWe:Each person has their own path and their own challenges, so any person who seeks to imitate the life of another is denying their G-d-given opportunities.

    I try to define goodness like G-d does in the Torah: Acts of creativity, elevating the physical into the spiritual plane, loving others… seeking and building a relationship with G-d and with his manifestations in this world: humanity.

    Thanks, iWe.

    A new photo of Son #6? So sweet. What’s on his head?

    • #2
  3. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    ἀγάπη

    • #3
  4. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Micah 6:8 x Mt. 22:37-40 (referencing Deut. 6:5)…Tough, but often rewarding. :-)

    • #4
  5. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Misthiocracy:ἀγάπη

    Mis, you tease, you! What??

    • #5
  6. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Being good means being a progressive and voting Democrat.  Other than that you are deplorable and a bad person that should have their rights taken from them.

    • #6
  7. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Nanda Panjandrum:Micah 6:8 x Mt. 22:37-40 (referencing Deut. 6:5)…Tough, but often rewarding. ?

    Lovely, Nanda. Thank you. For those without a Bible, part of it:

    He has told you, O man, what is good,
    And what the Lord requires of you:
    Only to do justice
    And to love goodness,
    And to walk modestly with your G-d;
    Then will your name achieve wisdom.

    • #7
  8. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Fake John/Jane Galt:Being good means being a progressive and voting Democrat. Other than that you are deplorable and a bad person that should have their rights taken from them.

    Politics on a spirituality thread!  Now, I’m gonna hafta leave…Tsk, tsk… :-)

    • #8
  9. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Fake John/Jane Galt:Being good means being a progressive and voting Democrat. Other than that you are deplorable and a bad person that should have their rights taken from them.

    Politics on a spirituality thread! Now, I’m gonna hafta leave…Tsk, tsk… ?

    Oh don’t go, Nanda. He makes a good point with a little irony thrown in.

    • #9
  10. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Susan Quinn:

    Nanda Panjandrum:Micah 6:8 x Mt. 22:37-40 (referencing Deut. 6:5)…Tough, but often rewarding. ?

    Lovely, Nanda. Thank you. For those without a Bible, part of it:

    He has told you, O man, what is good,
    And what the Lord requires of you:
    Only to do justice
    And to love goodness,
    And to walk modestly with your G-d;
    Then will your name achieve wisdom. [Micah 6:8]

    ***

    [Jesus] said to [his questioner]: “You shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” [New American Bible, Revised Edition.]

    • #10
  11. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Susan Quinn:

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Fake John/Jane Galt:Being good means being a progressive and voting Democrat. Other than that you are deplorable and a bad person that should have their rights taken from them.

    Politics on a spirituality thread! Now, I’m gonna hafta leave…Tsk, tsk… ?

    Oh don’t go, Nanda. He makes a good point with a little irony thrown in.

    Well, okay, but it’s skating pretty close to ban territory… :-)

    • #11
  12. Mark Ledbetter Inactive
    Mark Ledbetter
    @MattyVan

    No way I could equal Susan’s answer, or iWe’s, for that matter. So what did I do? I googled it. Ha ha.

    “And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” – Micah 6:8″

    Jesus: Forgive them, they know not what they do.

    Jesus: Judge not.

    Buddha: A peaceful mind.

    Socrates: Know yourself.

    Lao Tzu: A good man is not aware of his goodness.

    Lao Tzu: A good man does nothing, yet nothing is left undone.

    And Lao Tzu had a hierarchy, with goodness number two:

    When Tao is lost there is goodness. When goodness is lost, there is kindness. When kindness is lost, there is justice. When justice is lost, there is ritual. Ritual is the husk of faith and loyalty, the beginning of confusion.

    Epictetus: If you wish to be good, first believe that you are bad.

    Epictetus: Wisdom and goodness are twin-born. One heart must hold both sisters, never seen apart.

    • #12
  13. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Matty Van: No way I could equal Susan’s answer, or iWe’s, for that matter. So what did I do? I googled it. Ha ha.

    These are lovely, Matty. But at the same time, it’s not about what anyone else says. Just list one or two things that you do to be good, even that elaborate on these wise men, if you wish. Clearly the subject speaks to you. Please?

    • #13
  14. Midget Faded Rattlesnake Member
    Midget Faded Rattlesnake
    @Midge

    Susan Quinn: Just list one or two things that you do to be good

    Stay alive.
    Keep my mouth shut.

    • #14
  15. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    One thing I’m seeing is the link between wisdom and goodness. I think they do nurture each other: when we are wise, we know how important it is to be a good person. When we are good, we learn how we can contribute to the world.

    Since we’re hearing from people who are spiritual or religious, I’d love to hear from atheists and agnostics–what motivates you to be good? I know that in Buddhism, when are good, we relieve the suffering of ourselves and others.

    • #15
  16. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Midget Faded Rattlesnake:

    Susan Quinn: Just list one or two things that you do to be good

    Stay alive.
    Keep my mouth shut.

    You of all people! C’mon, Midge. Tell us more. I like your humor, but I love your heart.

    • #16
  17. Mark Ledbetter Inactive
    Mark Ledbetter
    @MattyVan

    Susan Quinn:

    These are lovely, Matty. But at the same time, it’s not about what anyone else says. Just list one or two things that you do to be good, even that elaborate on these wise men, if you wish. Clearly the subject speaks to you. Please?

    Reality is in our thoughts, not in the world or in our actions. Always think good thoughts, and the rest will follow. I.e., judge not the world or anyone in it. Forgive it, and them, and yourself.

    That’s my distillation of all of the above. So I TRY to have good thoughts about everyone and everything.

    • #17
  18. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Matty Van:Reality is in our thoughts, not in the world or in our actions. Always think good thoughts, and the rest will follow. I.e., judge not the world or anyone in it. Forgive it, and them, and yourself.

    That’s my distillation of all of the above. So I TRY to have good thoughts about everyone and everything.

    Well done. So it sounds like having good thoughts moves you to act in good ways?

    • #18
  19. Mark Ledbetter Inactive
    Mark Ledbetter
    @MattyVan

    Susan Quinn:

    Well done. So it sounds like having good thoughts moves you to act in good ways?

    Not necessarily. More often than not, there’s no obvious action at all. Just the thought. But I trust that good thoughts connect all with God and that the result is good, even if I don’t see it.

    • #19
  20. Mark Ledbetter Inactive
    Mark Ledbetter
    @MattyVan

    I feel myself getting way too pretentious, or something. And it’s time to hit the sack. So g’ night, all. I’m looking forward to reading the continuations.

    • #20
  21. DocJay Inactive
    DocJay
    @DocJay

    Yesterday I drove my son and 4 Hispanic boys( their dads were working)  two hours to a soccer game and back again which included a In N Out burger stop.

    A college boy mentoring another kid wants get his Masters/ PhD in psychology and I offered to help him get a good recommendation.

    My ex-wife communicated with me and my brief answers never had the phrase “blood sucking evil tramp” , in fact I communicated essentials about holidays.

    I also treated a man with busted ankle and no insurance for free and got him a splint.

    . I also did my regular job of texts and emails and calls.

    Then I  got home took my family to the Nevada Buffalo football game.    I hugged my kids good night and told them how loved and incredible they are.  Then I rubbed my wife’s feet before bed and said nice things to her too.

    I define all those things as good.  Some days I’m not as good.

    • #21
  22. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Susan Quinn: ἀγάπη

    Mis, you tease, you! What??

    Agapé; (Greek, not Geek) “loving/preferring as G-d loves and/or what G-d loves”.  You’re welcome, SQ!

    • #22
  23. iWe Coolidge
    iWe
    @iWe

    Susan Quinn: A new photo of Son #6? So sweet. What’s on his head?

    Yes. I like him. And I like the picture: intensity and happiness – sort of a Happy Warrior look. With swim goggles.

    • #23
  24. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    DocJay:Yesterday I drove my son and 4 Hispanic boys( their dads were working) two hours to a soccer game and back again which included a In N Out burger stop.

    A college boy mentoring another kid wants get his Masters/ PhD in psychology and I offered to help him get a good recommendation.

    My ex-wife communicated with me and my brief answers never had the phrase “blood sucking evil tramp” , in fact I communicated essentials about holidays.

    I also treated a man with busted ankle and no insurance for free and got him a splint.

    . I also did my regular job of texts and emails and calls.

    Then I got home took my family to the Nevada Buffalo football game. I hugged my kids good night and told them how loved and incredible they are. Then I rubbed my wife’s feet before bed and said nice things to her too.

    I define all those things as good. Some days I’m not as good.

    Beautifully said, Doc. Especially the IN N OUT burger stop and your comments back to your ex-wife! ;-)

    • #24
  25. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Susan Quinn: ἀγάπη

    Mis, you tease, you! What??

    Agapé; (Greek, not Geek) “loving/preferring as G-d loves and/or what G-d loves”. You’re welcome, SQ!

    I do know agape, but not in the original Greek, for pete’s sake! Thanks, Nanda!

    • #25
  26. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Susan Quinn:

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Fake John/Jane Galt:Being good means being a progressive and voting Democrat. Other than that you are deplorable and a bad person that should have their rights taken from them.

    Politics on a spirituality thread! Now, I’m gonna hafta leave…Tsk, tsk… ?

    Oh don’t go, Nanda. He makes a good point with a little irony thrown in.

    Well, okay, but it’s skating pretty close to ban territory… ?

    Yup, that is me, good points with a little bit of sarcasm and irony thrown in that skates to the border of being banned.

    • #26
  27. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    Fake John/Jane Galt: Yup, that is me, good points with a little bit of sarcasm and irony thrown in that skates to the border of being banned

    John, I don’t think you were even close to being banned. And that is NOT a challenge. ;-)

    • #27
  28. Fake John/Jane Galt Coolidge
    Fake John/Jane Galt
    @FakeJohnJaneGalt

    Susan Quinn:

    Fake John/Jane Galt: Yup, that is me, good points with a little bit of sarcasm and irony thrown in that skates to the border of being banned

    John, I don’t think you were even close to being banned. And that is NOT a challenge. ?

    I know.  I am having a bit of fun with Nanda.

    • #28
  29. Susan Quinn Contributor
    Susan Quinn
    @SusanQuinn

    DocJay:Yesterday I drove my son and 4 Hispanic boys( their dads were working) two hours to a soccer game and back again which included a In N Out burger stop.

    A college boy mentoring another kid wants get his Masters/ PhD in psychology and I offered to help him get a good recommendation.

    My ex-wife communicated with me and my brief answers never had the phrase “blood sucking evil tramp” , in fact I communicated essentials about holidays.

    I also treated a man with busted ankle and no insurance for free and got him a splint.

    . I also did my regular job of texts and emails and calls.

    Then I got home took my family to the Nevada Buffalo football game. I hugged my kids good night and told them how loved and incredible they are. Then I rubbed my wife’s feet before bed and said nice things to her too.

    I define all those things as good. Some days I’m not as good.

    Seriously, Doc, the reason I especially liked your comment is that some people might feel they’re being boastful in listing the ways they are good. I think that you showed that we can talk about the good things we do because they fill our lives with love, joy and satisfaction. Thanks for demonstrating that. Now people can say that both of us are show-offs!

    • #29
  30. Nanda Panjandrum Member
    Nanda Panjandrum
    @

    Susan Quinn:

    Nanda Panjandrum:

    Susan Quinn: ἀγάπη

    Mis, you tease, you! What??

    Agapé; (Greek, not Geek) “loving/preferring as G-d loves and/or what G-d loves”. You’re welcome, SQ!

    I do know agape, but not in the original Greek, for pete’s sake! Thanks, Nanda!

    Oh, maybe that *is* Geek, on second thought…Theo-Geek, maybe? :-)

    • #30
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