Scared Straight at the Libertarian Convention

 
Libertarian Convention

James Weeks, candidate for Libertarian Party chair, danced and stripped down to his thong before leaving the stage amid a chorus of boos.

By dinner time Saturday I was a bit disappointed with how my experience at the Libertarian Convention had progressed. Part of me was eager to bask in the craziness that I had assumed such a gathering would inevitably draw out. Yet to that point, I had encountered little out of the ordinary. We met with numerous campaign workers, all of whom seemed polite, professional, and possessing a full measure of sanity. Discussions with various delegates turned out many people who seemed eminently reasonable and thoughtful. As James of England and I sat down to eat before the debate, we each expressed a bit of surprise out just how uneventful the entire affair had been thus far.

Having let our guards down a bit we set out for the debate, oblivious to the horror show that awaited us. Charles Cooke has said that the easiest way to determine if one is a conservatarian is that when you find yourself among conservatives you feel like a libertarian, while if you find yourself among libertarians you feel like a conservative. After two hours in a room with hundreds of libertarians and their candidates, I was seeking forgiveness from the ghost of Edmund Burke for having ever been led astray.

It is difficult to convey just how uncomfortable it was to sit in that room as miscellaneous spectators let out bloodcurdling screams of disapproval when Gary Johnson stated that Islamic terrorism was a threat to the United States, and that the Iran nuclear deal was dangerous. There was a palpable sense of helplessness when candidate Darryl Perry insisted that the United States was responsible for WWII, and his lunacy was met with widespread cheers. James and I looked at each other in shock as candidate after candidate declared taxation “the worst kind of theft,” presumably making muggers morally superior to IRS agents.

After nearly every candidate promised to end all forms of taxation, most of them stated that we had an obligation to pay back seniors the money they had paid into Social Security. How these funds would be secured was largely left to the listener’s imagination. Candidate Marc Allan Feldman suggested that taxpayers should be able to allot their tax dollars for specific purposes when they write the check to the Treasury. You could use the memo section of the check to write “Education” or “Police” or my personal favorite “Bombs for killing children overseas.” Bombing children overseas turns out to be the Libertarian Party’s preferred way of describing any military action the US has taken around the world.

Part of me wants this policy implemented, simply so I could watch the horror on these candidate’s faces as 70 percent of all federal revenue was allocated to the military by ordinary citizens.

The most negative reactions of the crowd came in response to Gary Johnson, whose identity as a faux libertarian is never more starkly visible than when he is surrounded by the genuine article. When Johnson suggested that he would not do away with driver’s licenses, as he prefers to not let the blind drive, he was nearly booed off stage.

All of the candidates agreed that drugs should be legalized, but any suggestion that it should not be legal for children to use them was met with jeering. It was pointed out that it is the parents of these children who should be keeping their kids off of drugs until they reach an age where they can make these decisions for themselves. That parents should do this is a truism. The open question is of course what to do when they fail to be responsible parents. Where is the line, that when crossed, causes law enforcement to step in? No candidate addressed the point.

With the exception of Austin Peterson, the stage was overwhelmingly pro-abortion. Johnson appears to have pivoted completely to this position over the course of the convention, after presenting a more moderate face at many appearances. Feldman brought out the tired argument that he would never force someone else to comply with his beliefs and couldn’t tell a woman that she can’t have an abortion simply because he believed it was morally wrong. Feldman presumably feels no such restraint about forcing others to comply with his beliefs of right and wrong on the subjects of theft, rape, and murder of those who have been born.

John McAfee equated internationally diplomacy to the relationship between husband and wife, where the husband needs to apologize even when he is in the right. Peterson declared that he had never met a “damned Republican” that he liked. Having already denounced Democrats earlier in the evening in similar fashion, we can only conclude that Peterson doesn’t like 97 percent of the US population.

My shock at the overall poor quality of arguments coming from the stage likely stemmed from my mistaken impression of what a libertarian is. I had assumed that despite the wack jobs who are surely present, most were something comparable to Milton Friedman, and desired to slowly push the country in the direction of more limited government. Instead, I learned that there are anarchists and there are statists. If you’re not on board the train of no government, you are the enemy.

Speaking of trains, the highlight of the evening was McAfee’s closing statement, which I will not transcribe below but will attempt to summarize. I fear that much like the Necronomicon, reading it can drive sane men mad. I surely failed a sanity check while listening to it. After explaining that he had been waiting the entire campaign for this one minute to talk sincerely to the voters, acAfee proceeded to paint perhaps the greatest metaphor that has ever been conceived by a human mind.

He described the Libertarian Party as a skyscraper that was being built from the top down. Hold that image in your mind as the metaphor shifts to a train which is filled with compromise. McAfee planned to derail this train, and instead lay new tracks. Why the train couldn’t simply be stopped and perhaps cleared of the compromises is unclear. For reasons I cannot comprehend, these new tracks would run through the grassroots. He presumably didn’t mean that he wished to crush the grassroots under a locomotive, but he provided no additional context. Somehow this new train would enable us to build the skyscraper from the ground up. Perhaps it is a cargo train.

I remind you that his entire campaign was building to this one minute to talk to the voters.

After an evening of watching the Libertarian Party let their freak flag fly, we fled the scene like we had just committed a hit-and-run. It was tempting to skip the following day’s presidential vote and instead head to Disney World, in an attempt to restore some faith in humanity. Against this better judgement, we returned to witness the proceedings.

As ballots were being distributed, many points of order/information and privileged motions were made. Of the 10 or so interruptions, three related to outrage that “none of the above” was not listed on the ballot. Each time it was patiently explained that the delegates could write in “NOTA” if they desired. Each time this provided no comfort. How does one express their anarchist purity if they accept any of the available options? One man requested that he be allowed to play his harmonica. The motion was granted. Another to make Dobby from the Harry Potter series the official Libertarian mascot was ignored.

Perhaps the most incredible feature of the convention is that Gary Johnson became the Libertarian nominee, despite virtually everyone I spoke to at the convention having huge reservations about his purity. When pressed for a reason for giving him their votes, his supporters universally replied that they thought he had the greatest potential to do well in the general election. Though I never pressed the point, I wished I could ask each of them if they were comfortable with a moderate Republican like Johnson at the head of their party, why were they so resistant to supporting conservative Republicans in order to fight big government? If they are able to put aside principle and vote for electability in this race, why not others?

As Johnson appears likely to get the 5 percent of the vote he needs to get the Libertarian Party public election funding (one of the most non-libertarian actions I can imagine), it is clear that the largest faction within the party is focused on growing at all costs. If moderating their candidates is necessary, so be it. Getting 7 percent of the vote nationally would be a huge step forward. But the amount of moderation required in order to bring them into parity with the Republicans and Democrats would leave a Libertarian Party that is every bit as compromised in their principles as the left and right they despise so much.

The lesson of the weekend is clearly that the Libertarian Party is five kinds of crazy and they know it. As they self-administer electroshock therapy, I am forced to admit that I am clearly not one of them.

Note: We left before candidates began taking their clothes off.

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  1. Mendel Inactive
    Mendel
    @Mendel

    Mike LaRoche:To paraphrase Orwell, one sometimes gets the impression that the mere word “Libertarian” draws toward it with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, “Nature Cure” quack, pacifist, and feminist in America.

    Indeed, I think the libertarian party is something of a magnet for wannabe non-conformists who are so insecure in their non-conformism that they need to seek out a group of other wannabe non-conformists to be around.

    • #91
  2. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Jamie Lockett:

    Frank Soto: My shock at the overall poor quality of arguments coming from the stage likely stemmed from my mistaken impression of what a libertarian is. I had assumed that despite the wack jobs who are surely present, most were something comparable to Milton Friedman, and desired to slowly push the country in the direction of more limited government

    You hang out with people like Tom and I on Ricochet too much.

    People who have better things to do on a lovely May weekend than schlep on down to any party’s convention, let alone the LP one.

    • #92
  3. Arahant Member
    Arahant
    @Arahant

    Frank and James,

    Come to the dark side. Join the Libertine Party. We have much more fun than either the conservatives or the libertarians. And we believe in law and order and family values, so long as they don’t harsh our mellow.

    • #93
  4. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Mendel:

    Mike LaRoche:To paraphrase Orwell, one sometimes gets the impression that the mere word “Libertarian” draws toward it with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, “Nature Cure” quack, pacifist, and feminist in America.

    Indeed, I think the libertarian party is something of a magnet for wannabe non-conformists who are so insecure in their non-conformism that they need to seek out a group of other wannabe non-conformists to be around.

    The LP needs a cynical wing. Cynicism kills wannabeism.

    • #94
  5. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: Fred, I’d take this all more seriously from you, but you are one of the folks who does not believe in nations having borders in the first place. A big reason people are upset with the Establishments is that they agree with you on

    Alas, that is not the case. Unfortunately you rhetoric, commonly repeated as it may be, does not match reality.

    You are not for Open Boarders? Just checking, cause, like, everyone I talk to here on Ricochet seems to think you are.

    And contra Jamie, Open Boarders = No Boarders when you think that governments should not control who enters the nation, to most people. It does not matter how nuanced you are about it.

    • #95
  6. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Owen Findy:

    Bryan G. Stephens:Frank,

    Welcome to being a conservative.

    Of course, we are currently experiencing some technical difficulties in having a candidate for President, but there are lots of conservatives in office now at other levels, and someone told me we have the most conservative Congress ever.

    Bryan

    200_s

    I don’t see how not wanting to be part of the Libertarian Party implies one’s conservative.

    It was more of a in joke between me and Frank, as we go hammer and tongs over minute details when we agree on about 90% of everything else. Thus, I put on minions.

    • #96
  7. Al French Moderator
    Al French
    @AlFrench

    Casey:See, this is the problem… you just can’t mix good ideas and human beings.

    Lol

    • #97
  8. Jamie Lockett 🚫 Banned
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Bryan G. Stephens:

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: Fred, I’d take this all more seriously from you, but you are one of the folks who does not believe in nations having borders in the first place. A big reason people are upset with the Establishments is that they agree with you on

    Alas, that is not the case. Unfortunately you rhetoric, commonly repeated as it may be, does not match reality.

    You are not for Open Boarders? Just checking, cause, like, everyone I talk to here on Ricochet seems to think you are.

    And contra Jamie, Open Boarders = No Boarders when you think that governments should not control who enters the nation, to most people. It does not matter how nuanced you are about it.

    Not really, open borders just means that anyone can come in. They are still subject to a different legal jurisdiction once they are here. (I am not an open borders advocate).

    • #98
  9. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Jamie Lockett:

    Bryan G. Stephens:

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: Fred, I’d take this all more seriously from you, but you are one of the folks who does not believe in nations having borders in the first place. A big reason people are upset with the Establishments is that they agree with you on

    Alas, that is not the case. Unfortunately you rhetoric, commonly repeated as it may be, does not match reality.

    You are not for Open Boarders? Just checking, cause, like, everyone I talk to here on Ricochet seems to think you are.

    And contra Jamie, Open Boarders = No Boarders when you think that governments should not control who enters the nation, to most people. It does not matter how nuanced you are about it.

    Not really, open borders just means that anyone can come in. They are still subject to a different legal jurisdiction once they are here. (I am not an open borders advocate).

    That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    • #99
  10. Jamie Lockett 🚫 Banned
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Eh, who are you reading on this?

    • #100
  11. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Frank Soto:

    Gaius:When most people hear the question “Should Heroine be legal for children?” they interpret this to mean “Under present circumstances should the law be amended to legalize the use of heroine by children at home and in public?” Whereas to a certain set of LP convention attendees this translates as “Assuming that we live in a functioning Anarcho-Capitalist society wherein the last vestige of the state has been abolished, would the complex web of contractual arrangements, land covenants and insurance policies, which have grown up organically to replace the previous legal system, be less likely to prevent most instances of child drug use than the current system?” And to them the latter is the only question worth asking. Loony? Sure. But that doesn’t mean anyone’s okay with kids doing heroine.

    I don’t deny that most libertarian arguments seem to take place after the revolution.

    miracle

    • #101
  12. Viruscop Inactive
    Viruscop
    @Viruscop

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:I used to work at the Goldwater Institute, a libertarian-leaning think tank in Phoenix. (About half the staff was conservative, half libertarian.) One of my favorite pastimes was eavesdropping on the intern pen where they would passionately debate the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, fiat currency, heroin for toddlers, and other “angels on the head of a pin” libertarian litmus tests. The arguments would last weeks.

    Back in my day, we called those people pseudointellectuals. I guess now with PC-culture they are called “Libertarians.”

    • #102
  13. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Viruscop:

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:I used to work at the Goldwater Institute, a libertarian-leaning think tank in Phoenix. (About half the staff was conservative, half libertarian.) One of my favorite pastimes was eavesdropping on the intern pen where they would passionately debate the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, fiat currency, heroin for toddlers, and other “angels on the head of a pin” libertarian litmus tests. The arguments would last weeks.

    Back in my day, we called those people pseudointellectuals. I guess now with PC-culture they are called “Libertarians.”

    Back in your day, did many recent college grads have to take non-paying jobs and call em ‘internships’?

    ;-)

    • #103
  14. Viruscop Inactive
    Viruscop
    @Viruscop

    Misthiocracy:

    Viruscop:

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:I used to work at the Goldwater Institute, a libertarian-leaning think tank in Phoenix. (About half the staff was conservative, half libertarian.) One of my favorite pastimes was eavesdropping on the intern pen where they would passionately debate the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, fiat currency, heroin for toddlers, and other “angels on the head of a pin” libertarian litmus tests. The arguments would last weeks.

    Back in my day, we called those people pseudointellectuals. I guess now with PC-culture they are called “Libertarians.”

    Back in your day, did many recent college grads have to take non-paying jobs and call em ‘internships’?

    ;-)

    I’m 23.

    So…yes.

    • #104
  15. Fred Cole Inactive
    Fred Cole
    @FredCole

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    • #105
  16. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Why so shocked at taxation being the worst kind of theft? At best it is the 2nd worst when considering the Fed targeting 2% inflation. Take the Fed out of the equation and taxation wins the worst theft category.

    Sounds like you guys had fun. Thanks for the report.

    • #106
  17. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    BastiatJunior:Accidental double post.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to comment.

    • #107
  18. Mendel Inactive
    Mendel
    @Mendel

    Viruscop:

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:I used to work at the Goldwater Institute, a libertarian-leaning think tank in Phoenix. (About half the staff was conservative, half libertarian.) One of my favorite pastimes was eavesdropping on the intern pen where they would passionately debate the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, fiat currency, heroin for toddlers, and other “angels on the head of a pin” libertarian litmus tests. The arguments would last weeks.

    Back in my day, we called those people pseudointellectuals. I guess now with PC-culture they are called “Libertarians.”

    Back in my day, we called these people “college guys not popular/good looking enough to get girls”.

    Seriously, what are you supposed to discuss in a dorm room at 2 AM other than absurd philospohical/fantastical questions?

    • #108
  19. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    I envy your masochism.

    • #109
  20. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Basil Fawlty:

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    I envy your masochism.

    I know one other member that sympathizes with Fred’s position.

    • #110
  21. Jamie Lockett 🚫 Banned
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    BrentB67:

    Basil Fawlty:

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    I envy your masochism.

    I know one other member that sympathizes with Fred’s position.

    If you eliminated, in its entirety, the welfare state I would be more amenable to it.

    • #111
  22. Pete Inactive
    Pete
    @petermdaniels

    Are you playing Arkham Horror, Frank? Because the Ancient Ones stir in their slumber…

    • #112
  23. Viruscop Inactive
    Viruscop
    @Viruscop

    Mendel:

    Viruscop:

    Jon Gabriel, Ed.:I used to work at the Goldwater Institute, a libertarian-leaning think tank in Phoenix. (About half the staff was conservative, half libertarian.) One of my favorite pastimes was eavesdropping on the intern pen where they would passionately debate the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, fiat currency, heroin for toddlers, and other “angels on the head of a pin” libertarian litmus tests. The arguments would last weeks.

    Back in my day, we called those people pseudointellectuals. I guess now with PC-culture they are called “Libertarians.”

    Back in my day, we called these people “college guys not popular/good looking enough to get girls”.

    Seriously, what are you supposed to discuss in a dorm room at 2 AM other than absurd philospohical/fantastical questions?

    Would you ever let such talk see the light of day?

    • #113
  24. Ball Diamond Ball 🚫 Banned
    Ball Diamond Ball
    @BallDiamondBall

    Guys — I know how you feel.

    • #114
  25. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    And unlike Jamie and Frank, who in this thread both responded to gentle ribbing and got into the banter, you got all serious.

    Based on the Daily Shot, I’d thought you would be more willing to play. I am sorry to have made that mistake, and I will not make that mistake with you again.

    • #115
  26. BrentB67 Inactive
    BrentB67
    @BrentB67

    Jamie Lockett:

    BrentB67:

    Basil Fawlty:

    Fred Cole:

    Bryan G. Stephens: That is not how it seems to be sold, but fair enough.

    Sold? Who is selling it?

    As far as I know there’s only one open borders advocate on Ricochet and that’s me. It’s not a popular position and nobody is actually trying to sell it.

    I wrote a post about it a while ago, but that’s mostly just so people could bring it up to use against me in threads that have nothing to do with immigration.

    I envy your masochism.

    I know one other member that sympathizes with Fred’s position.

    If you eliminated, in its entirety, the welfare state I would be more amenable to it.

    As would I. That is a discussion to have.

    • #116
  27. Viruscop Inactive
    Viruscop
    @Viruscop

    By the way, I’m sure the guy in that picture would have a measured, COC-compliant reaction to this thread.

    • #117
  28. Mark Camp Member
    Mark Camp
    @MarkCamp

    Bryan G. Stephens: You are not for Open Boarders?

    Now you’ve got a lot of us trying to sort exactly what our position should be on Open Boarders.  I for one believe that transparency is important for the Coast Guard, but admit I’ve not felt it’s an urgent issue up til now.

    • #118
  29. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Mark Camp:

    Bryan G. Stephens: You are not for Open Boarders?

    Now you’ve got a lot of us trying to sort exactly what our position should be on Open Boarders. I for one believe that transparency is important for the Coast Guard, but admit I’ve not felt it’s an urgent issue up til now.

    This boarder is pretty open…

    sexy-snowboarding

    • #119
  30. Bryan G. Stephens Thatcher
    Bryan G. Stephens
    @BryanGStephens

    Misthiocracy:

    Mark Camp:

    Bryan G. Stephens: You are not for Open Boarders?

    Now you’ve got a lot of us trying to sort exactly what our position should be on Open Boarders. I for one believe that transparency is important for the Coast Guard, but admit I’ve not felt it’s an urgent issue up til now.

    This boarder is pretty open…

    sexy-snowboarding

    Well, our friends to the North are another matter ;)

    • #120
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