Scared Straight at the Libertarian Convention

 
Libertarian Convention

James Weeks, candidate for Libertarian Party chair, danced and stripped down to his thong before leaving the stage amid a chorus of boos.

By dinner time Saturday I was a bit disappointed with how my experience at the Libertarian Convention had progressed. Part of me was eager to bask in the craziness that I had assumed such a gathering would inevitably draw out. Yet to that point, I had encountered little out of the ordinary. We met with numerous campaign workers, all of whom seemed polite, professional, and possessing a full measure of sanity. Discussions with various delegates turned out many people who seemed eminently reasonable and thoughtful. As James of England and I sat down to eat before the debate, we each expressed a bit of surprise out just how uneventful the entire affair had been thus far.

Having let our guards down a bit we set out for the debate, oblivious to the horror show that awaited us. Charles Cooke has said that the easiest way to determine if one is a conservatarian is that when you find yourself among conservatives you feel like a libertarian, while if you find yourself among libertarians you feel like a conservative. After two hours in a room with hundreds of libertarians and their candidates, I was seeking forgiveness from the ghost of Edmund Burke for having ever been led astray.

It is difficult to convey just how uncomfortable it was to sit in that room as miscellaneous spectators let out bloodcurdling screams of disapproval when Gary Johnson stated that Islamic terrorism was a threat to the United States, and that the Iran nuclear deal was dangerous. There was a palpable sense of helplessness when candidate Darryl Perry insisted that the United States was responsible for WWII, and his lunacy was met with widespread cheers. James and I looked at each other in shock as candidate after candidate declared taxation “the worst kind of theft,” presumably making muggers morally superior to IRS agents.

After nearly every candidate promised to end all forms of taxation, most of them stated that we had an obligation to pay back seniors the money they had paid into Social Security. How these funds would be secured was largely left to the listener’s imagination. Candidate Marc Allan Feldman suggested that taxpayers should be able to allot their tax dollars for specific purposes when they write the check to the Treasury. You could use the memo section of the check to write “Education” or “Police” or my personal favorite “Bombs for killing children overseas.” Bombing children overseas turns out to be the Libertarian Party’s preferred way of describing any military action the US has taken around the world.

Part of me wants this policy implemented, simply so I could watch the horror on these candidate’s faces as 70 percent of all federal revenue was allocated to the military by ordinary citizens.

The most negative reactions of the crowd came in response to Gary Johnson, whose identity as a faux libertarian is never more starkly visible than when he is surrounded by the genuine article. When Johnson suggested that he would not do away with driver’s licenses, as he prefers to not let the blind drive, he was nearly booed off stage.

All of the candidates agreed that drugs should be legalized, but any suggestion that it should not be legal for children to use them was met with jeering. It was pointed out that it is the parents of these children who should be keeping their kids off of drugs until they reach an age where they can make these decisions for themselves. That parents should do this is a truism. The open question is of course what to do when they fail to be responsible parents. Where is the line, that when crossed, causes law enforcement to step in? No candidate addressed the point.

With the exception of Austin Peterson, the stage was overwhelmingly pro-abortion. Johnson appears to have pivoted completely to this position over the course of the convention, after presenting a more moderate face at many appearances. Feldman brought out the tired argument that he would never force someone else to comply with his beliefs and couldn’t tell a woman that she can’t have an abortion simply because he believed it was morally wrong. Feldman presumably feels no such restraint about forcing others to comply with his beliefs of right and wrong on the subjects of theft, rape, and murder of those who have been born.

John McAfee equated internationally diplomacy to the relationship between husband and wife, where the husband needs to apologize even when he is in the right. Peterson declared that he had never met a “damned Republican” that he liked. Having already denounced Democrats earlier in the evening in similar fashion, we can only conclude that Peterson doesn’t like 97 percent of the US population.

My shock at the overall poor quality of arguments coming from the stage likely stemmed from my mistaken impression of what a libertarian is. I had assumed that despite the wack jobs who are surely present, most were something comparable to Milton Friedman, and desired to slowly push the country in the direction of more limited government. Instead, I learned that there are anarchists and there are statists. If you’re not on board the train of no government, you are the enemy.

Speaking of trains, the highlight of the evening was McAfee’s closing statement, which I will not transcribe below but will attempt to summarize. I fear that much like the Necronomicon, reading it can drive sane men mad. I surely failed a sanity check while listening to it. After explaining that he had been waiting the entire campaign for this one minute to talk sincerely to the voters, acAfee proceeded to paint perhaps the greatest metaphor that has ever been conceived by a human mind.

He described the Libertarian Party as a skyscraper that was being built from the top down. Hold that image in your mind as the metaphor shifts to a train which is filled with compromise. McAfee planned to derail this train, and instead lay new tracks. Why the train couldn’t simply be stopped and perhaps cleared of the compromises is unclear. For reasons I cannot comprehend, these new tracks would run through the grassroots. He presumably didn’t mean that he wished to crush the grassroots under a locomotive, but he provided no additional context. Somehow this new train would enable us to build the skyscraper from the ground up. Perhaps it is a cargo train.

I remind you that his entire campaign was building to this one minute to talk to the voters.

After an evening of watching the Libertarian Party let their freak flag fly, we fled the scene like we had just committed a hit-and-run. It was tempting to skip the following day’s presidential vote and instead head to Disney World, in an attempt to restore some faith in humanity. Against this better judgement, we returned to witness the proceedings.

As ballots were being distributed, many points of order/information and privileged motions were made. Of the 10 or so interruptions, three related to outrage that “none of the above” was not listed on the ballot. Each time it was patiently explained that the delegates could write in “NOTA” if they desired. Each time this provided no comfort. How does one express their anarchist purity if they accept any of the available options? One man requested that he be allowed to play his harmonica. The motion was granted. Another to make Dobby from the Harry Potter series the official Libertarian mascot was ignored.

Perhaps the most incredible feature of the convention is that Gary Johnson became the Libertarian nominee, despite virtually everyone I spoke to at the convention having huge reservations about his purity. When pressed for a reason for giving him their votes, his supporters universally replied that they thought he had the greatest potential to do well in the general election. Though I never pressed the point, I wished I could ask each of them if they were comfortable with a moderate Republican like Johnson at the head of their party, why were they so resistant to supporting conservative Republicans in order to fight big government? If they are able to put aside principle and vote for electability in this race, why not others?

As Johnson appears likely to get the 5 percent of the vote he needs to get the Libertarian Party public election funding (one of the most non-libertarian actions I can imagine), it is clear that the largest faction within the party is focused on growing at all costs. If moderating their candidates is necessary, so be it. Getting 7 percent of the vote nationally would be a huge step forward. But the amount of moderation required in order to bring them into parity with the Republicans and Democrats would leave a Libertarian Party that is every bit as compromised in their principles as the left and right they despise so much.

The lesson of the weekend is clearly that the Libertarian Party is five kinds of crazy and they know it. As they self-administer electroshock therapy, I am forced to admit that I am clearly not one of them.

Note: We left before candidates began taking their clothes off.

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  1. Mike H Inactive
    Mike H
    @MikeH

    Bryan G. Stephens:

    Fred Cole:

    skipsul:

    Fred Cole:I hasten to add that if we highlighted all the crazies at either the Republican or Democratic political conventions, neither party would look that “serious.”

    Well, at the other conventions those folks are usually not given the limelight. Sure they’re there at the fringes, but not allowed or encouraged to take the stage. Here they are allowed to take center stage.

    That cuts both ways. The LP is more open and so yeah, occasionally you’re going to get lunatics who do a strip tease. (I’ll not that the guy is almost immediately booed.) The more “serious” parties don’t have that, but they are dominated by the Establishment that everyone hates.

    Fred, I’d take this all more seriously from you, but you are one of the folks who does not believe in nations having borders in the first place. A big reason people are upset with the Establishments is that they agree with you on that.

    Ugg… sorry, I have to point out this is completely wrong in two respects. “Open borders” doesn’t mean “no borders.” There is still a line that once you cross the rules can change. You can still have reasonable rules for preventing evil people/criminals from coming and still correctly consider it open borders. Also, no one in the establishment wants anything approximating open borders. Most of them would like to increase immigration somewhat above what the general population considers sufficient, nothing more. If you compare the rate of immigration we currently have with the expected rate under open borders, we have something like 98% closed borders now. I know nobody will agree with me on this, but if you’re for completely closed borders, you practically have that now, believe it or not.

    I guarantee you the establishment does not want to increase immigration 50 fold. Even the most cosmopolitan among the mainstream are going to balk at numbers like that.

    • #61
  2. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Mike H:The problem seems to be that when the libertarians try to throw a party the libertines crash it and declare “ACCEPT US!”

    There is a lot of crossover, though.  There are stories my sister has told me of the LP in New Hampshire, and I dare not repeat them here without her permission.  Suffice it say, there are some deeply unethical and hypocritical members of the LP.

    • #62
  3. Umbra Fractus Inactive
    Umbra Fractus
    @UmbraFractus

    skipsul:

    Fred Cole:

    skipsul:

    Fred Cole:I hasten to add that if we highlighted all the crazies at either the Republican or Democratic political conventions, neither party would look that “serious.”

    Well, at the other conventions those folks are usually not given the limelight. Sure they’re there at the fringes, but not allowed or encouraged to take the stage. Here they are allowed to take center stage.

    That cuts both ways. The LP is more open and so yeah, occasionally you’re going to get lunatics who do a strip tease. (I’ll note that the guy is almost immediately booed.) The more “serious” parties don’t have that, but they are dominated by the Establishment that everyone hates.

    True. But Establishment ≠ Crazy (most of the time anyway).

    To the contrary, the big complaint against the establishment is that they’re not crazy enough.

    • #63
  4. Fred Cole Inactive
    Fred Cole
    @FredCole

    Bryan G. Stephens: Fred, I’d take this all more seriously from you, but you are one of the folks who does not believe in nations having borders in the first place. A big reason people are upset with the Establishments is that they agree with you on

    Alas, that is not the case. Unfortunately you rhetoric, commonly repeated as it may be, does not match reality.

    • #64
  5. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Bryan G. Stephens: Booing keeping drugs illegal for 8 year old children is so far out of mainstream, that it makes the GOP and Dems look respectable.

    Who are you to say that Children’s Chewable Morphine isn’t a good idea?

    • #65
  6. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    skipsul: Suffice it say, there are some deeply unethical and hypocritical members of the LP.

    So, in other words, they’re a political party.

    • #66
  7. skipsul Inactive
    skipsul
    @skipsul

    Misthiocracy:

    skipsul: Suffice it say, there are some deeply unethical and hypocritical members of the LP.

    So, in other words, they’re a political party.

    The info to which I am privy has to do with people believing that being a purist Libertarian gives them license to engage in criminal activity (and I’m not talking drugs), endorsed by the party hierarchy.

    • #67
  8. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Misthiocracy:

    Bryan G. Stephens: Booing keeping drugs illegal for 8 year old children is so far out of mainstream, that it makes the GOP and Dems look respectable.

    Who are you to say that Children’s Chewable Morphine isn’t a good idea?

    Mis,

    Bask in the crazy. Bask in the crazy. Oh, brother.

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #68
  9. BastiatJunior Member
    BastiatJunior
    @BastiatJunior

    Bryan G. Stephens: Booing keeping drugs illegal for 8 year old children is so far out of mainstream, that it makes the GOP and Dems look respectable.

    GOP maybe.  The Dems booed the Boy Scouts at their national convention (2004 I think.)

    • #69
  10. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Bryan G. Stephens: While the final candidate might be a WWII skeptic, the group that nominated him are clearly out of their minds.

    The groups that have nominated Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are paragons of mental health?

    • #70
  11. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    skipsul:

    Misthiocracy:

    skipsul: Suffice it say, there are some deeply unethical and hypocritical members of the LP.

    So, in other words, they’re a political party.

    The info to which I am privy has to do with people believing that being a purist Libertarian gives them license to engage in criminal activity (and I’m not talking drugs), endorsed by the party hierarchy.

    So, in other words, they’re a political party.

    • #71
  12. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Frank Soto:

    What’s amazing is that Johnson being unsure if the US should have been involved in WWII made him the biggest hawk on stage.

    jiFfM

    • #72
  13. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    James Gawron:

    Misthiocracy:

    Bryan G. Stephens: Booing keeping drugs illegal for 8 year old children is so far out of mainstream, that it makes the GOP and Dems look respectable.

    Who are you to say that Children’s Chewable Morphine isn’t a good idea?

    Mis,

    Bask in the crazy. Bask in the crazy. Oh, brother.

    Regards,

    Jim

    1655862_754439134581221_1957853629_n

    • #73
  14. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    Fred Cole:

    Jamie Lockett:Reminds me of why I could never join the Libertarian Party. The Libertarian Party has never really wanted to grow up or be serious.

    The Democrats are going to nominate Hillary Clinton and the Republicans are going to nominate Donald Trump. The LP just nominated two non-crazy former governors who are neither criminals nor psychopathic fascists.

    All I’m saying is that maybe this ain’t the year to point fingers.

    Depends on the finger.

    • #74
  15. 6foot2inhighheels Member
    6foot2inhighheels
    @6foot2inhighheels

    The thong guy is running for office in Michigan….http://whmi.com/news/article/25754

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d45x4OpMoow

    • #75
  16. Gaius Inactive
    Gaius
    @Gaius

    When most people hear the question “Should Heroine be legal for children?” they interpret this to mean “Under present circumstances should the law be amended to legalize the use of heroine by children at home and in public?” Whereas to a certain set of LP convention attendees this translates as “Assuming that we live in a functioning Anarcho-Capitalist society wherein the last vestige of the state has been abolished, would the complex web of contractual arrangements, land covenants and insurance policies, which have grown up organically to replace the previous legal system, be less likely to prevent most instances of child drug use than the current system?” And to them the latter is the only question worth asking. Loony? Sure. But that doesn’t mean anyone’s okay with kids doing heroine.

    • #76
  17. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    This is an interesting take on the LP convention:

    https://www.commentarymagazine.com/politics-ideas/year-missed-opportunities/

    As the Democrats and the Republicans throw people out of their tents, this was an opportunity for the LP to make its tent more welcoming.

    Considering how much the delegates booed every candidate on stage at one point or another (even McAfee wasn’t quite pure enough), it appears the LP has no interest in capitalizing on the opportunity.

    This is probably good news for the #lesserevil folk. Without the support of the LP base does Johnson have much of a chance of getting anywhere near Ross Perot’s record high of 37% support (achieved in June of 1992, meaning he peaked five months before E-Day)?

    Johnson’s gonna have to effectively run as an independent. He certainly can’t think it’d be a good idea to fill his campaign rallies up with the sort of crowd that populated the convention.

    • #77
  18. Frank Soto Member
    Frank Soto
    @FrankSoto

    Gaius:When most people hear the question “Should Heroine be legal for children?” they interpret this to mean “Under present circumstances should the law be amended to legalize the use of heroine by children at home and in public?” Whereas to a certain set of LP convention attendees this translates as “Assuming that we live in a functioning Anarcho-Capitalist society wherein the last vestige of the state has been abolished, would the complex web of contractual arrangements, land covenants and insurance policies, which have grown up organically to replace the previous legal system, be less likely to prevent most instances of child drug use than the current system?” And to them the latter is the only question worth asking. Loony? Sure. But that doesn’t mean anyone’s okay with kids doing heroine.

    I don’t deny that most libertarian arguments seem to take place after the revolution.

    • #78
  19. Mendel Inactive
    Mendel
    @Mendel

    skipsul:

    Misthiocracy:

    skipsul: Suffice it say, there are some deeply unethical and hypocritical members of the LP.

    So, in other words, they’re a political party.

    The info to which I am privy has to do with people believing that being a purist Libertarian gives them license to engage in criminal activity (and I’m not talking drugs), endorsed by the party hierarchy.

    Like Mis, I don’t think this separates the Libertarians from either of the other two major parties, especially if we’re going to the anecdotal level of “you’ll never believe what my XXX-in-law overheard…”

    Each party has its share of hypocrites and truly despicable slime hiding in the grassroots woodwork. I’ve witnessed some illegal activities by self-proclaimed Tea Party members which were condoned by “party hierarchy”, as I’m sure many people here have. Humanity is ugly.

    The differences here are: a) the two major parties have a veneer of seriousness which neutralizes their worst characters, while the LP does not, and b) we tend to overlook or brush aside bad behavior more readily within our own tribe than from a foreign one.

    • #79
  20. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    The logic behind the libertarian support for gay marriage has suddenly become clear.

    • #80
  21. Tom Meyer, Ed. Member
    Tom Meyer, Ed.
    @tommeyer

    Mendel:

    The differences here are: a) the two major parties have a veneer of seriousness which neutralizes their worst characters, while the LP does not, and b) we tend to overlook or brush aside bad behavior more readily within our own tribe than from a foreign one.

    I certainly don’t!

    Oh, wait…

    • #81
  22. Quinn the Eskimo Member
    Quinn the Eskimo
    @

    Frank Soto: Note: We left before candidates began taking their clothes off.

    I’m not much for bi-partisanship, but the fact that stripping on stage is absent at the major-party conventions is one of the few areas in which consensus is a good thing.

    • #82
  23. Owen Findy Inactive
    Owen Findy
    @OwenFindy

    Bryan G. Stephens:Frank,

    Welcome to being a conservative.

    Of course, we are currently experiencing some technical difficulties in having a candidate for President, but there are lots of conservatives in office now at other levels, and someone told me we have the most conservative Congress ever.

    Bryan

    200_s

    I don’t see how not wanting to be part of the Libertarian Party implies one’s conservative.

    • #83
  24. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    Jamie Lockett:Reminds me of why I could never join the Libertarian Party. The Libertarian Party has never really wanted to grow up or be serious.

    They only have, I believe, four states that conduct primaries.

    As for the rest, may I presume that anybody gets to be a delegate as long as they can afford the $95 entry fee and they can bum a ride to the convention?

    Sounds like an administrative issue to me.

    (The Conservative Party of Canada just held its quasi-biennial convention. The registration fee was almost C$1,000. It’s sorta like the Ricochet method for weeding out the crazies. Skin in the game, and all that.)

    • #84
  25. Mike LaRoche Inactive
    Mike LaRoche
    @MikeLaRoche

    To paraphrase Orwell, one sometimes gets the impression that the mere word “Libertarian” draws toward it with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, “Nature Cure” quack, pacifist, and feminist in America.

    • #85
  26. Misthiocracy Member
    Misthiocracy
    @Misthiocracy

    6foot2inhighheels: The thong guy is running for office in Michigan…

    Running would cause oscillations that’d throw him off balance.

    • #86
  27. James Gawron Inactive
    James Gawron
    @JamesGawron

    Frank Soto:

    Gaius:When most people hear the question “Should Heroine be legal for children?” they interpret this to mean “Under present circumstances should the law be amended to legalize the use of heroine by children at home and in public?” Whereas to a certain set of LP convention attendees this translates as “Assuming that we live in a functioning Anarcho-Capitalist society wherein the last vestige of the state has been abolished, would the complex web of contractual arrangements, land covenants and insurance policies, which have grown up organically to replace the previous legal system, be less likely to prevent most instances of child drug use than the current system?” And to them the latter is the only question worth asking. Loony? Sure. But that doesn’t mean anyone’s okay with kids doing heroine.

    I don’t deny that most libertarian arguments seem to take place after the revolution.

    Frank,

    Is that in this universe or some other one?

    Regards,

    Jim

    • #87
  28. kylez Member
    kylez
    @kylez

    I was just watching that clip on ESPN (with no sound) while eating lunch at a local restaurant. I was thinking there is a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing in which LP people can be goofy because they have no chance of being elected, but maybe goofiness is causing their lack of a electability.

    • #88
  29. Doug Watt Member
    Doug Watt
    @DougWatt

    I learned three things from the photo in this post.

    The first is that Libertarians do not believe that you have to pass up a meal.

    The second is that it’s your fault if you lose your appetite, or your lunch when candidates disrobe before leaving the stage.

    The third is I had no idea that Coleman makes thongs.

    • #89
  30. Jamie Lockett Member
    Jamie Lockett
    @JamieLockett

    Mike LaRoche:To paraphrase Orwell, one sometimes gets the impression that the mere word “Libertarian” draws toward it with magnetic force every fruit-juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, “Nature Cure” quack, pacifist, and feminist in America.

    slow_clap_citizen_kane

    I’m not even mad, I’m just impressed.

    • #90
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