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Technophobia
Do you dream in monochrome? Does the term “manual labor” recall painful memories of assembly or installation? Does the Geek Squad avoid your phone calls? Then this post is for you.
What current inventions do you loathe? What innovations do you fear are inevitable? What old products do you miss and are certain you could enjoy again?
I dread the day that my car requires a poorly timed reboot while it updates its software via on-again/off-again satellite internet. “Please wait while we improve your driving experience.”
Image Credit: Shutterstock user Creatista.
Published in General, Humor
I like (and will miss) cars that don’t require a computer when they need fixing.
I miss people having landlines in their homes. You could call and they would most likely answer and if they didn’t answer you would know that they were not home.
Now when we call our adult children (who all have cell phones and no home phones) and they don’t pick up, we don’t know whether they are ignoring our call or are in a meeting, or the phone has lost its charge or they left the phone somewhere where they can’t hear it ringing. Argg!
@Byron Horatio, I have a base model 2014 Jeep Wrangler with crank windows. Driving my nephews around was hilarious because they had never seen crank windows before and thought it was some new feature. They loved it.
You should also check out high-end gaming peripherals. Toggle-switch heaven!
http://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2014/09/flying-in-style-with-thrustmasters-450-warthog-joystick/
I thought up a techno-complaint that comes up somewhat frequently in my life!
Companies that use rivets and/or welds instead of screws in their devices, making them next-to-impossible for an end-user to repair.
That makes me go “grrrr”.
And it ain’t just a first-world problem either!
a) When LADA tried selling cars up here in the Great White North a few years ago, I was actually (a little bit) impressed by their SUV, as it came with an emergency hand-crank starter as standard equipment, just in case the battery ever went dead on you.
b) Anybody still have a rotary dial phone in their home? I had a great laugh the first time one of the kids who lived next door to my parents came over and asked to use the phone. They were completely flummoxed.
I’m not a fan of putting touch screens on everything. I just bought a new car and I specifically chose a model and trim package that does not have a touch screen interface.
My main problem with touchscreens in cars is that it is impossible to find the buttons by feel, both because they are nonphysical and because the “feel” inevitably turns on the windshield wipers. Functions which involve scrolling (an obvious application for an analog interface), like volume control and temperature control, require you to awkwardly drag your fingertip across a featureless surface and stop at a specific point, while you are supposed to have your eyes on the road.
And I hate having grubby fingerprints all over the display.
I fear the day when all car companies will replace all the physical buttons and knobs with touchscreens.
Also, switches, dials, and physical gauges are replaceable without having to replace the entire dashboard.
It isn’t MY mobile phone that I hate, it’s all the others. I spend far too many of my waking hours dodging people that are looking down into their phones, be they walking, driving, my boss sitting across the table from me, the jack-wagons that try and navigate the stairs at the BART station while staring into their phone holding up everyone that is trying to get home. I hate them!!! I actively fantasize about knocking them out of people’s hands.
You should experiment with finding something you could say, with just the right amount of urgency in your voice, to give them a shot of adrenaline and a little bit of panic that causes them to drop their phones.
You hate the people, not their phones. Their phones are little-to-no different from your phone.
I suppose that is technically true, but I didn’t find strangers as annoying pre-Smart Phone. As for my phone, I’d happily go without it. I generally leave it on my desk once I get home…all the people I love are in the house…don’t need the phone.
One of my most valued possessions is my Kindle DX Graphite, a gift from my wife some, what, six years ago? I’m visually impaired, so the resolution and anti-glare properties of the e-Ink are critical. A newer Paperwhite model may be better on both dimensions, but they’re smaller and tactilely different. Besides, did I mention “present from my wife?” So I was delighted a few months ago to find replacement battery kits for my DX. My son and I were able to do the installation, and my beloved DX is like brand new.