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Grandaddy’s Aphorisms
Just wondering. I was recently reminded of my Grandaddy’s penchant for the colloquial observation. He grew up dirt poor in West Virginia. The derriere, the back of the front, the tush, the bum, the rump, the seat. In a time before digital calibration, this most lagging of the anatomy formed a bedrock against which the natural world was measured. Two of his aphorisms that endure from my childhood recollections are:
- Slicker than a soap maker’s ass, and
- Colder than a well digger’s ass.
He was also fond, every day at 5 p.m. sharp (you could set your watch by it), of proclaiming “Bread is the staff of life, but whiskey is life itself,” before sipping his bourbon and water.
Please chime in one and all with any other such sayings from a bygone era via our dearest relations.
Published in General
Rough as a rhino’s rear end.
What! I thought it was not worth a tinker’s curse, a tinker being what we now call Irish Travellers, and used to call Itinerants ( but you’re in trouble if you do now)
That’ll do!
That’s the clean version.
Are geese really loose?
Oh, man, are they ever. And disgusting dinosaurs.
It’s not that elaborate.
Considering that it doesn’t need to be at all, it is.
Loose and extremely generous with it.
Where I grew up in the Yakima Valley, mint farmers used to hire flocks of geese to weed the mint fields; you could see a whole line of geese marching across the fields.
edited to correct a typo
Around the northwest Chicago suburbs, there was a guy who kept swans and would rent one out to places who were suffering from a goose infestation. Geese are territorial, but swans are even more territorial, and the swan would run off the geese. The guy said he did pretty brisk business with the golf courses.
All of the water dinosaurs are jerks, including ducks. But the bigger they are, the bigger and more dangerous the jerk.
Of course, the Southern Hemisphere dinosaurs are even worse.
well there was that saying about the cat and…
The swan, the ostrich and cassowary are definitely birds I’d give wide berth to.
I was just about to ackchyually, but you ackchyuallied first.
Certainly not, they mate for life.
But not a live berth ;)
Eggz-actly.