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Christmas will be very different this year. My mother passed away at the beginning of this month. She struggled for almost 20 years with various forms of cancer, neurodegenerative nerve disease, complications from her cancer treatments, and an increasing host of health difficulties that by themselves would be considered challenging for a patient and family. As her oncologist frequently noted, the cancer had difficulty with my mom. She was a force to reckoned with to anyone at any time.
Even when she became severely ill, she did not go gently into the night. Mom was a being of passion for others. She fought everyone and everything if she felt it needed to happen. With no regard of how it would destroy herself, she constantly stood up for what she felt was right. It took many, many years to teach her to have even an ounce of reluctance to speak her mind. At the end, she was more circumspect, but no less full of fire.
I will write about her more sometime I’m sure. But a song struck me. I hadn’t known that Ed Sheeran lost his own mother, but this song hit me so hard. I include an excerpt of the lyrics with the song for reference.
Fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up
Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case
John says he’d drive then put his hand on my cheek
And wiped a tear from the side of my face
I hope that I see the world as you did ’cause I know
A life with love is a life that’s been lived
So I’ll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you’d be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back we’ll say Hallelujah
It can not be said enough: God sent us an angel in the shape of my mom. She was often an angel of defense; a warrior for those of us who longed to just have life easy and to get along, suffering all the way. She was an angel that turned to little girls and told them they were beautiful, no matter what, and put them under her wings, giving particular attention to the less noticed.
We did not deserve her but will forever be grateful He let us have her for as long as we did.Published in