‘Same-Sex Couple’ Does Not Equal ‘Two-Sex Couple’

 

Same-sex “marriage” is in discussion again, as the US Senate seems intent on forcing the issue further down the throats of resistant Americans. There are multiple arguments for why same-sex couples do not qualify for “marriage.” My primary argument is that same-sex couples cannot produce children.

Marriage is socially and legally recognized for couples of two sexes because such a couple may, even is likely to, create new life, i.e., produce children. Those children blend the two families from which the couple came into a new branch on the tree of humanity and perpetuate that blend far into the future. Throughout history and across cultures, it has been and is the expectation of children that drives marriage. “Romance” or “erotic love” are very late additions to the long and broad history of marriage, and not particularly central to why marriage exists.

“Marriage” establishes a social and legal framework so that the new branch on the tree of humanity formed by creating children not only does not wither and die, but grows and thrives. Society (and the law that society creates to govern human behavior) has both short-term and long-term interests in the children that a coupling by people of different sexes may produce. Short-term, we want a structure in which those children are more likely to be protected, housed, fed, clothed, etc. Long-term, we want a structure in which those children and their children on through the generations bolster the society into which they are born.

It is a biological certainty that a couple consisting of people of the same sex will not produce children. Their coupling will end no later than when one of them dies. Societies (especially ours in the US) have legal systems for contracts for people to form partnerships that involve themselves only, and exist during their lifetimes.

In times or cultures in which women might be limited in their ability to own or control property or to conduct business, marriage also helped to protect women from destitution. That’s not really a concern in 21st-century America. So we’re left with children (or at least the possibility of children) as the public justification for marriage.

“Marriage” exists because of the potential for children emanating from the couple. A same-sex couple cannot produce children. “Marriage” designed for two-sex couples should not be extended to same-sex couples.

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  1. RufusRJones Member
    RufusRJones
    @RufusRJones

    Stina (View Comment):

    RufusRJones (View Comment):

    David Carroll (View Comment):

    To me the problem is now and always has been too much government intrusion in the marriage and, well and everything.

    Same-sex couples understandably wanted the rights that government had created for married couples including joint-filing income tax benefits, inheritance benefits (in government entitlements and otherwise), rights to medical information about the marital partner (sadly, eroded by HIPAA).

    Now, however, the government has become so intrusive into all areas of our lives, it seems impossible to get government out of the marriage business. Even if we can get the federal government completely out of the marriage business, the states would still be in it defining inheritance rights, support rights, and so on.

    At this point, same-sex marriage has created an additional business opportunities for wedding venues, non-Christian cake bakers, and divorce lawyers.

    As time goes on, of course same-sex marriage will become more entrenched.

    As a live-and-let-live kind of person, same-sex marriage quickly disappear from my radar if it weren’t for the demands of the sexual deviant community that we all not only tolerate (acceptable to me) but celebrate their deviancy. The domino effect of such demands forces me to come out in favor of traditional marriage only.

    I don’t know anything about it, but I think it’s important to understand the legal history of the state’s involvement in marriage. It started out as a critically good idea for easier recourse on deadbeat dads, I think.

     

    If the populace turns to the state to resolve personal conflict, then the state is going to get involved in the moderation of personal affairs.

    That is to be expected.

    But the state has been an advocate for child producing, stable couplings since ancient times. Maybe technology changes the calculus on the government derived benefits, but when tech is low, the family unit expends less energy maintaining a stable system than a government would doing the same thing.

    100%

    • #121
  2. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Scott Wilmot (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    If the Catholic church doesn’t want to participate in same sex marriage, that’s there option, as far as I am concerned.

    But we aren’t talking about religious marriage. We are talking about civil marriage, which marriages will be recognized by the government, not which marriages will be recognized by this or that church or mosque or temple.

    Oh geez, thanks for clarifying this for me. My points hold. Feelings, not facts seem to rule the day, and that is where we are at.

    It’s not a case of feelings instead of facts.

    You have your feelings about marriage. Others have their feelings about marriage.

    Lmao. Most dense response I’ve ever seen.

    • #122
  3. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Scott Wilmot (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Scott Wilmot (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    If the Catholic church doesn’t want to participate in same sex marriage, that’s there option, as far as I am concerned.

    But we aren’t talking about religious marriage. We are talking about civil marriage, which marriages will be recognized by the government, not which marriages will be recognized by this or that church or mosque or temple.

    Oh geez, thanks for clarifying this for me. My points hold. Feelings, not facts seem to rule the day, and that is where we are at.

    It’s not a case of feelings instead of facts.

    You have your feelings about marriage. Others have their feelings about marriage.

    Wrong. There is a truth about marriage that has been discarded. Obergefell didn’t redefine marriage, it de-defined it. There is an objective truth about what marriage is. Your feelings can’t change those facts.

    Your feelings about marriage don’t change the facts.

    You FEEL you have the right facts on marriage and everyone else is wrong, but your “right” facts are wholly modern, a part of a single generation, untested and untried beyond even a decade.

    You are not in a position to claim you are right with any kind of certainty. You BELIEVE you are right with an unreasoned faith that you impute to your interlocutors with derision.

    Have some humility.

    • #123
  4. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    BDB (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me.

    Has anybody proposed this? The OP went out of the way specifically to address this.

    Agreed, as do pretty much all SSM opponents. 

    This exchange does illustrate the more fundamental issue as it relates to marriage: we all use the same word but with widely differing meanings and then widely differing choices stacked on top. 

     

    • #124
  5. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    Chuck (View Comment):

    RufusRJones (View Comment):

    RufusRJones (View Comment):
    I haven’t read all of this yet, but homosexual household formation and heterosexual household formation are not the same thing. There is no reason to make them legally the same thing. They didn’t have to do that and it doesn’t make much sense.

    For one thing, they can’t include children unless they get vetted by an adoption agency. The states interest in marriage started because they needed easier recourse on deadbeat dads.

    The state definitely has an interest in procreating productive people for a variety of reasons and that’s what the state’s interest in heterosexual household formation is largely about.

    It’s not the same thing. They didn’t have to name it the same. It didn’t need to be the same thing legally.

    Do you really think a name change is all that’s needed? That the Left coast would be happy?

    Nope. They are too antagonistic towards heterosexuals for this to make the worst of them satisfied.

    • #125
  6. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    Stina (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):Your last sentence is not a fact. It is a value judgment. In my opinion, it is quite a wicked value judgment. You can make up your own mind.

    I think that your statement means that you value something else over children and family. Children and family, I think, are essential to the perpetuation of the human species and the continuation of the human story. In fact, your use of the phrase “or even major” indicates that you think that children, family, and the continuation of humanity as a minor issue, at most.

    What are the other issues, and what priority do they have? The first thing that comes to my mind is individual enjoyment. If there are others, please elaborate.

    My impression is that this comment starkly presents the alternatives available to us. You can care about your own comfort and amusement, or you can care about the human future.

    LOVE, is what is most important, yes above children, but I would argue it is the basis of children and family. Thank God that my wonderful grandparents (born in the 20’s but unable to conceive ) adopted my mom and uncle. Their love for each other and their faith brought my mom and uncle a life they would never have gotten without my grandparents, and it has spanned into many generations, as I am now a MeMaw.

    Love should be the basis of all family, not sex, not gender, not personal enjoyment. Love should be the criteria for marriage. I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me. Thankfully we had a miracle baby after 7 years of trying, we have been together for almost 30 years now.

    Seems silly to me that conservatives want the government to draw a line, make a law, or exclude rights to some. Government has no business in marriage, or love, or faith, or religion, or anything else in my heart. It would only be a matter of time before that same government is turned on me.

    No, love is not the most important thing.

    It is not necessary to marry who you love. It is necessary to love who you marry.

    This is the short and sweet version of @scottwilmot’s comment that love proceeds from the word.

    The truth is marriage is between a man and a woman.

    It is necessary that love proceeds from that union.

    Ancient times had this far more right.

    We have taken what was established as a better way of producing love in marriage (marrying who you love) to expecting it without effort. So now we divorce when the feelings of love dissipates, thinking that those feelings are the essence of love and it’s loss means you should not be married anymore. Never mind the incarnate marriages you have running around the world.

    Its all backwards.

    • #126
  7. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    RufusRJones (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    Yes, except that civil marriage is entirely a government institution. It serves a societal purpose. One can be in love and even have children yet still not be married. One can be married yet have no children and love.Religious marriage is similar.

    Either way neither institution is about telling people who or who not to love. Neither institution is about telling people they must or must not bear children.

    What purpose do those institutions serve? Why do they exist if people will love, have sex, and have or not have children whether or not these institutions exist?

    You have a more stable society if the government engenders the procreation of non-felon W-2 slaves. Make them and protect them to the extent that the government can do that.

    Then with the other hand, the government works against it. That’s just a fact.

    Agreed. Civil marriage aims at positive benefits to society and at a avoidance of negative consequences. Why do individuals participate? Because they benefit too, in different ways. The purpose for the institution is not the same reason that individuals have for participating in it.

    Our civil marriage institution continues to attract over a million couples each year.

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    • #127
  8. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    RufusRJones (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    Yes, except that civil marriage is entirely a government institution. It serves a societal purpose. One can be in love and even have children yet still not be married. One can be married yet have no children and love.Religious marriage is similar.

    Either way neither institution is about telling people who or who not to love. Neither institution is about telling people they must or must not bear children.

    What purpose do those institutions serve? Why do they exist if people will love, have sex, and have or not have children whether or not these institutions exist?

    You have a more stable society if the government engenders the procreation of non-felon W-2 slaves. Make them and protect them to the extent that the government can do that.

    Then with the other hand, the government works against it. That’s just a fact.

    Agreed. Civil marriage aims at positive benefits to society and at a avoidance of negative consequences. Why do individuals participate? Because they benefit too, in different ways. The purpose for the institution is not the same reason that individuals have for participating in it.

    Our civil marriage institution continues to attract over a million couples each year.

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    It’s inconsequential. Without kids, the marriage is pointless from the state’s perspective.

    The value of marriage for a non reproducing couple only creates spiritual benefit. But I don’t think you care about that.

    • #128
  9. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me.

    Has anybody proposed this? The OP went out of the way specifically to address this.

    Agreed, as do pretty much all SSM opponents.

    This exchange does illustrate the more fundamental issue as it relates to marriage: we all use the same word but with widely differing meanings and then widely differing choices stacked on top.

     

    My experience is that it’s intensely personal. To perceive that one falls short of the standard seems to lead most to just want to do away with the standard completely.

    They have no concept of grace and are actually far more judgemental towards themselves than anyone outside them holding up the standard are towards them.

    It is a human reaction, but one that should be resisted. If your reasoning to disregard the standard is your personal inability to live up to it, but the standard is judged good, then the standard should not be removed.

    • #129
  10. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.  Now that this has been abandoned, there is no defensible ground at which to stop its slide.  The same arguments supporting SSM, “throuples” and all the rest may also extend to incest, pedophilia, and bestiality.  Once you give up the defensible position, it’s all just a matter of opinion.

    I know the SSM-ers are howling that they don;t mean that, and it’s terrible of me to equate these things.  I’m not equating, and I’m not putting words in your mouth.  Just pointing out that the only “limiting principle” which withstood millennia of attacks has been laid aside.  If we accept neither genetic nor cultural defenses of marriage, then how are we to base a defense of children?  You don’t need to wait for someday — it’s happening now.

    I have no malice for gays and so forth (a person is not a policy), but this abandonment of marriage (by diluting to meaninglessness) is a program from Hell. 

    • #130
  11. RufusRJones Member
    RufusRJones
    @RufusRJones

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom. Now that this has been abandoned, there is no defensible ground at which to stop its slide. The same arguments supporting SSM, “throuples” and all the rest may also extend to incest, pedophilia, and bestiality. Once you give up the defensible position, it’s all just a matter of opinion.

    I know the SSM-ers are howling that they don;t mean that, and it’s terrible of me to equate these things. I’m not equating, and I’m not putting words in your mouth. Just pointing out that the only “limiting principle” which withstood millennia of attacks has been laid aside. If we accept neither genetic nor cultural defenses of marriage, then how are we to base a defense of children? You don’t need to wait for someday — it’s happening now.

    I have no malice for gays and so forth (a person is not a policy), but this abandonment of marriage (by diluting to meaninglessness) is a program from Hell.

    100% 

    • #131
  12. RufusRJones Member
    RufusRJones
    @RufusRJones

    There is also a very politically incorrect thing to say about social statistics in this area and I’m not going to be the one to do it. lol 

    • #132
  13. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist. 

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist?  Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried. 

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future.  So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.    

    • #133
  14. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.

    In a religious context, I think you are correct.  

    However, in a civil context, marriage can include more than only between a man and a woman.  

    Now, perhaps this would be less confusing if the government didn’t call it marriage, but called it civil union instead.  

    So, let’s say that all 50 states abolish marriage tomorrow and create the institution of civil union and stipulates that everyone who was “married” under the old law will be in a civil union under the new law.

    This would eliminate the religious scent from this civil institution.  So, we could continue to have our theological debates over whether, say, a divorced woman can be re-married in the eyes of God.  And our society, which consists of people of a variety of religious faiths and many of no particular religious faith, could get about the business of allowing people to enjoy civil union.

    That’s all modern civil marriage is.  It’s a legal issue, not a religious issue.  

    • #134
  15. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    Stina (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):Your last sentence is not a fact. It is a value judgment. In my opinion, it is quite a wicked value judgment. You can make up your own mind.

    I think that your statement means that you value something else over children and family. Children and family, I think, are essential to the perpetuation of the human species and the continuation of the human story. In fact, your use of the phrase “or even major” indicates that you think that children, family, and the continuation of humanity as a minor issue, at most.

    What are the other issues, and what priority do they have? The first thing that comes to my mind is individual enjoyment. If there are others, please elaborate.

    My impression is that this comment starkly presents the alternatives available to us. You can care about your own comfort and amusement, or you can care about the human future.

    LOVE, is what is most important, yes above children, but I would argue it is the basis of children and family. Thank God that my wonderful grandparents (born in the 20’s but unable to conceive ) adopted my mom and uncle. Their love for each other and their faith brought my mom and uncle a life they would never have gotten without my grandparents, and it has spanned into many generations, as I am now a MeMaw.

    Love should be the basis of all family, not sex, not gender, not personal enjoyment. Love should be the criteria for marriage. I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me. Thankfully we had a miracle baby after 7 years of trying, we have been together for almost 30 years now.

    Seems silly to me that conservatives want the government to draw a line, make a law, or exclude rights to some. Government has no business in marriage, or love, or faith, or religion, or anything else in my heart. It would only be a matter of time before that same government is turned on me.

    No, love is not the most important thing.

    It is not necessary to marry who you love. It is necessary to love who you marry.

    This is the short and sweet version of @ scottwilmot’s comment that love proceeds from the word.

    The truth is marriage is between a man and a woman.

    From a theological-religious perspective, this seems correct.  Or at least according some of the world’s religions, marriage is a union between one man and one woman.  

    But that’s a religious issue.  

    We aren’t talking about whether same sex marriage is in line with a specific religious sect but about what kinds of civil marriage laws are most comfortable for the largest number of people in our society.  

    • #135
  16. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    I think that your statement means that you value something else over children and family. Children and family, I think, are essential to the perpetuation of the human species and the continuation of the human story. In fact, your use of the phrase “or even major” indicates that you think that children, family, and the continuation of humanity as a minor issue, at most.

    What are the other issues, and what priority do they have? The first thing that comes to my mind is individual enjoyment. If there are others, please elaborate.

    My impression is that this comment starkly presents the alternatives available to us. You can care about your own comfort and amusement, or you can care about the human future.

    LOVE, is what is most important, yes above children, but I would argue it is the basis of children and family. Thank God that my wonderful grandparents (born in the 20’s but unable to conceive ) adopted my mom and uncle. Their love for each other and their faith brought my mom and uncle a life they would never have gotten without my grandparents, and it has spanned into many generations, as I am now a MeMaw.

    Love should be the basis of all family, not sex, not gender, not personal enjoyment. Love should be the criteria for marriage. I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me. Thankfully we had a miracle baby after 7 years of trying, we have been together for almost 30 years now.

    Seems silly to me that conservatives want the government to draw a line, make a law, or exclude rights to some. Government has no business in marriage, or love, or faith, or religion, or anything else in my heart. It would only be a matter of time before that same government is turned on me.

    No, love is not the most important thing.

    It is not necessary to marry who you love. It is necessary to love who you marry.

    This is the short and sweet version of @ scottwilmot’s comment that love proceeds from the word.

    The truth is marriage is between a man and a woman.

    From a theological-religious perspective, this seems correct. Or at least according some of the world’s religions, marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

    But that’s a religious issue.

    We aren’t talking about whether same sex marriage is in line with a specific religious sect but about what kinds of civil marriage laws are most comfortable for the largest number of people in our society.

    You aren’t entitled to your own facts.

    • #136
  17. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.

    In a religious context, I think you are correct.  

    I’m agnostic, by which I mean non-militant atheist.

    • #137
  18. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist.

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist? Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried.

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future. So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.

    If individuals can love, have sex, own property jointly, have children, etc without being married, then what do they get from civil marriage that they can’t get without it?

    • #138
  19. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    Stina (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    I think that your statement means that you value something else over children and family. Children and family, I think, are essential to the perpetuation of the human species and the continuation of the human story. In fact, your use of the phrase “or even major” indicates that you think that children, family, and the continuation of humanity as a minor issue, at most.

    What are the other issues, and what priority do they have? The first thing that comes to my mind is individual enjoyment. If there are others, please elaborate.

    My impression is that this comment starkly presents the alternatives available to us. You can care about your own comfort and amusement, or you can care about the human future.

    LOVE, is what is most important, yes above children, but I would argue it is the basis of children and family. Thank God that my wonderful grandparents (born in the 20’s but unable to conceive ) adopted my mom and uncle. Their love for each other and their faith brought my mom and uncle a life they would never have gotten without my grandparents, and it has spanned into many generations, as I am now a MeMaw.

    Love should be the basis of all family, not sex, not gender, not personal enjoyment. Love should be the criteria for marriage. I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me. Thankfully we had a miracle baby after 7 years of trying, we have been together for almost 30 years now.

    Seems silly to me that conservatives want the government to draw a line, make a law, or exclude rights to some. Government has no business in marriage, or love, or faith, or religion, or anything else in my heart. It would only be a matter of time before that same government is turned on me.

    No, love is not the most important thing.

    It is not necessary to marry who you love. It is necessary to love who you marry.

    This is the short and sweet version of @ scottwilmot’s comment that love proceeds from the word.

    The truth is marriage is between a man and a woman.

    From a theological-religious perspective, this seems correct. Or at least according some of the world’s religions, marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

    But that’s a religious issue.

    We aren’t talking about whether same sex marriage is in line with a specific religious sect but about what kinds of civil marriage laws are most comfortable for the largest number of people in our society.

    You aren’t entitled to your own facts.

    Neither are you.  Civil marriage is quite different from religious marriage.  Religious marriage is tied to theological precepts.  But civil marriage evolves and changes over time.

    • #139
  20. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.

    In a religious context, I think you are correct.

    However, in a civil context, marriage can include more than only between a man and a woman.

    Now, perhaps this would be less confusing if the government didn’t call it marriage, but called it civil union instead.

    So, let’s say that all 50 states abolish marriage tomorrow and create the institution of civil union and stipulates that everyone who was “married” under the old law will be in a civil union under the new law.

    This would eliminate the religious scent from this civil institution. So, we could continue to have our theological debates over whether, say, a divorced woman can be re-married in the eyes of God. And our society, which consists of people of a variety of religious faiths and many of no particular religious faith, could get about the business of allowing people to enjoy civil union.

    That’s all modern civil marriage is. It’s a legal issue, not a religious issue.

    Children deserve to grow up in a society which rewards and reflects nature, decency, and the things which brought that society into being.  To me this is the essence of societal conservatism.  No parents should have to explain to their children the insanity or perversion of adults whom the children must attend.  Back in the closet if you’re teaching school.  Not all [blanks] and so forth, but the grooming pipeline is in full flow right now.

    This is not to say that there are no threats from the straight population, but that’s no justification for throwing all boundaries out the window.  That’s just silly.

    • #140
  21. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist.

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist? Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried.

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future. So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.

    If individuals can love, have sex, own property jointly, have children, etc without being married, then what do they get from civil marriage that they can’t get without it?

    People think that they get something out of being married, whether they actually do or not.  

    Perhaps if we did abolish civil marriage, nobody would be any worse off.  People could still have children, allow people to inherit their property upon their death, resolve child custody disputes and so on and so forth.  

    But in a representative government like our, government responds to what people want.  People want civil marriage.  

    Libertarian advocacy of abolishing civil marriage is going to lose at the ballot box.  Even abolishing easy divorce is likely to do badly at the ballot box.  

    • #141
  22. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Stina (View Comment):

    Sheila (View Comment):

    Jerry Giordano (Arizona Patrio… (View Comment):

    What are the other issues, and what priority do they have? The first thing that comes to my mind is individual enjoyment. If there are others, please elaborate.

    My impression is that this comment starkly presents the alternatives available to us. You can care about your own comfort and amusement, or you can care about the human future.

    LOVE, is what is most important, yes above children, but I would argue it is the basis of children and family. Thank God that my wonderful grandparents (born in the 20’s but unable to conceive ) adopted my mom and uncle. Their love for each other and their faith brought my mom and uncle a life they would never have gotten without my grandparents, and it has spanned into many generations, as I am now a MeMaw.

    Love should be the basis of all family, not sex, not gender, not personal enjoyment. Love should be the criteria for marriage. I could not imagine the government telling me I can not marry my husband because we were unable to conceive, sounds pretty disgusting to me. Thankfully we had a miracle baby after 7 years of trying, we have been together for almost 30 years now.

    Seems silly to me that conservatives want the government to draw a line, make a law, or exclude rights to some. Government has no business in marriage, or love, or faith, or religion, or anything else in my heart. It would only be a matter of time before that same government is turned on me.

    No, love is not the most important thing.

    It is not necessary to marry who you love. It is necessary to love who you marry.

    This is the short and sweet version of @ scottwilmot’s comment that love proceeds from the word.

    The truth is marriage is between a man and a woman.

    From a theological-religious perspective, this seems correct. Or at least according some of the world’s religions, marriage is a union between one man and one woman.

    But that’s a religious issue.

    We aren’t talking about whether same sex marriage is in line with a specific religious sect but about what kinds of civil marriage laws are most comfortable for the largest number of people in our society.

    You aren’t entitled to your own facts.

    Neither are you. Civil marriage is quite different from religious marriage. Religious marriage is tied to theological precepts. But civil marriage and evolve and change over time.

    I love how you blew by my comment pointing out you have nothing but your feelings of rightness to justify your position.

    The only one relying on feelings is you.

    • #142
  23. HeavyWater Inactive
    HeavyWater
    @HeavyWater

    BDB (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.

    In a religious context, I think you are correct.

    However, in a civil context, marriage can include more than only between a man and a woman.

    Now, perhaps this would be less confusing if the government didn’t call it marriage, but called it civil union instead.

    So, let’s say that all 50 states abolish marriage tomorrow and create the institution of civil union and stipulates that everyone who was “married” under the old law will be in a civil union under the new law.

    This would eliminate the religious scent from this civil institution. So, we could continue to have our theological debates over whether, say, a divorced woman can be re-married in the eyes of God. And our society, which consists of people of a variety of religious faiths and many of no particular religious faith, could get about the business of allowing people to enjoy civil union.

    That’s all modern civil marriage is. It’s a legal issue, not a religious issue.

    Children deserve to grow up in a society which rewards and reflects nature, decency, and the things which brought that society into being. To me this is the essence of societal conservatism. No parents should have to explain to their children the insanity or perversion of adults whom the children must attend. Back in the closet if you’re teaching school. Not all [blanks] and so forth, but the grooming pipeline is in full flow right now.

    This is not to say that there are no threats from the straight population, but that’s no justification for throwing all boundaries out the window. That’s just silly.

    Wait.  Are you saying that we shouldn’t allow same sex couples to get married because same sex marriage is repulsive to you?  

    • #143
  24. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    BDB (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    BDB (View Comment):

    Marriage as between a man and a woman is simply an axiom.

    In a religious context, I think you are correct.

    I’m agnostic, by which I mean non-militant atheist.

    Heh, and I’m Catholic yet I avoid talking about the religious aspect of marriage because that’s not the question. Not yet anyway. 

    • #144
  25. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    People think that they get something out of being married, whether they actually do or not.  

    Perhaps if we did abolish civil marriage, nobody would be any worse off.  People could still have children, allow people to inherit their property upon their death, resolve child custody disputes and so on and so forth.  

    But in a representative government like our, government responds to what people want.  People want civil marriage.  

    Libertarian advocacy of abolishing civil marriage is going to lose at the ballot box.  Even abolishing easy divorce is likely to do badly at the ballot box.  

    So you support SSM now because most people want it? Does that also mean you used to be opposed to it because most people used to oppose it too? 

    As someone said earlier, discussing popularity isnt entirely irrelevant in terms of political persuasion, but that shouldn’t affect your own opinions, right?

    I’m not a libertarian and I don’t advocate abolishing civil marriage. What I advocate lost and is unlikely to return any time soon. So it’s irrelevant now except when it will be used to encroach on religious marriage and except when it will be used to impose incorrect wokeism and except when it will be used for redistributuon.

    • #145
  26. RufusRJones Member
    RufusRJones
    @RufusRJones

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    People think that they get something out of being married, whether they actually do or not.

    Perhaps if we did abolish civil marriage, nobody would be any worse off. People could still have children, allow people to inherit their property upon their death, resolve child custody disputes and so on and so forth.

    But in a representative government like our, government responds to what people want. People want civil marriage.

    Libertarian advocacy of abolishing civil marriage is going to lose at the ballot box. Even abolishing easy divorce is likely to do badly at the ballot box.

    So you support SSM now because most people want it? Does that also mean you used to be opposed to it because most people used to oppose it too?

    As someone said earlier, discussing popularity isnt entirely irrelevant in terms of political persuasion, but that shouldn’t affect your own opinions, right?

    I’m not a libertarian and I don’t advocate abolishing civil marriage. What I advocate lost and is unlikely to return any time soon. So it’s irrelevant now except when it will be used to encroach on religious marriage and except when it will be used to impose incorrect wokeism and except when it will be used for redistributuon.

    DING DING DING 

     

     

     

    • #146
  27. Chuck Coolidge
    Chuck
    @Chuckles

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist.

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist? Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried.

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future. So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.

    If individuals can love, have sex, own property jointly, have children, etc without being married, then what do they get from civil marriage that they can’t get without it?

    Tax breaks. Welfare. Inheritance. Divorce rights. 

    • #147
  28. BDB Inactive
    BDB
    @BDB

    I am reminded of the line about pandas in Fight Club.

    • #148
  29. Ed G. Member
    Ed G.
    @EdG

    Chuck (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist.

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist? Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried.

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future. So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.

    If individuals can love, have sex, own property jointly, have children, etc without being married, then what do they get from civil marriage that they can’t get without it?

    Tax breaks. Welfare. Inheritance. Divorce rights.

    They get all that without civil marriage too except for divorce rights since that is the only thing dependent on the existence of civil marriage. Even then people get the equivakentvor better than divorce rights without civil marriage.

    • #149
  30. Stina Member
    Stina
    @CM

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    Chuck (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

    HeavyWater (View Comment):

    Ed G. (View Comment):

     

    Sure, the benefits remain without any actual responsibilities. The question now is what do the rest of us get out of the deal?

    Just to clarify, are you saying that people who get married but don’t have biological children are obtaining the benefits of marriage but not shouldering the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    What are the actual responsibilities of marriage?

    Civil marriage demands nothing of the participants. So what do the rest of us get out of it? For what purpose should society keep up the institution and keep providing legal benefits if there is no ROI for society? If people can love, have sex, have children, contract, inherit, etc whether or not marriage exists, if the participants carry no legal obligations then why does civil marriage exist?

    Civil marriage exists because a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist.

    Why do a large majority of voters want civil marriage to exist? Because they think it makes their lives better, even if they aren’t currently marrried.

    Single people often aspire to getting married someday in the future. So, even most single people want the government to continue allowing for civil marriage.

    If individuals can love, have sex, own property jointly, have children, etc without being married, then what do they get from civil marriage that they can’t get without it?

    Tax breaks. Welfare. Inheritance. Divorce rights.

    They get all that without civil marriage too except for divorce rights since that is the only thing dependent on the existence of civil marriage. Even then people get the equivakentvor better than divorce rights without civil marriage.

    And tax breaks make no sense at all if the only benefits are personal. Especially if the personal benefit is fulfilling a feeling or desire. I’d like a tax break for that pizza I’m about to order, please…

    • #150
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