Eat your heart out Babylon Bee!

 

I don’t read the newspaper anymore, I get my news from various sites online.  I don’t miss it, except the funnies; I miss those.  Thankfully, I can still get my chuckles on my news websites, from time to time.  Fox News has a wonderful article up today, that I am 99% sure is not satire.  It’s on Fox News’ main site, so it looks legit.  The headline and subhed are:

St. Louis’ murder rate, already highest in US, soared last year; mayor vows to defund the police

Mayor Tishaura Jones’ budget proposal would close a city jail, divert $4M from police to social programs and cut nearly 100 police jobs

A couple of wonderful paragraphs from the article itself:

St. Louis’ Tishaura Jones, who became the city’s first Black female mayor last month, had campaigned on a promise to enact progressive criminal justice reforms.

Whatever the old administration was doing clearly wasn’t working – but it remains to be seen if police cuts are the answer.

Yes!  It remains to be seen!  You never know how this might work out!  After all, when the city with the highest murder rate in the country responds to yet another increase in that murder rate by putting more criminals on the street and taking more police off the street, well, you just never know how that might work out!  It remains to be seen!

There are so many other equally wonderful nuggets in this extraordinary article, for example:  There are two police unions in St. Louis – one for black officers, and one for white officers.  That should help!  The mayor of St. Louis is quoted in the UK newspaper ‘The Telegraph’ in an article about urban policing.  Of course!  The mayor has released a budget proposal which includes zero funding for the city’s medium-security jail, saying, “…we need to find alternatives to jails for some of the offenses.”  And there’s so much more!

And again, I’m nearly certain that this is not satire.  If someone finds that it is, I’ll immediately remove this post.  But I don’t think so…

There’s so much here to write about, but I don’t want to start drinking bourbon at 10:20am on a Sunday.  So I’ll just let you read the whole article yourself.  I’ll let you decide if you want to laugh or cry.

I’m can’t decide myself.

Published in General
This post was promoted to the Main Feed by a Ricochet Editor at the recommendation of Ricochet members. Like this post? Want to comment? Join Ricochet’s community of conservatives and be part of the conversation. Join Ricochet for Free.

There are 48 comments.

Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.
  1. Basil Fawlty Member
    Basil Fawlty
    @BasilFawlty

    I hate to see that evening sun go down.

    • #31
  2. Kephalithos Member
    Kephalithos
    @Kephalithos

    Henry Racette (View Comment): Crime.

    When it comes to crime, common sense is, I believe, an adult male thing.

    When adult males become scarce, in spirit if not demographically, common sense goes out the window.

    If you take a look at the policy proposals offered by the activist types, you’ll see that all can be reduced to a single idea: group therapy. In lieu of police, we’ll send in hordes of social workers and licensed therapists, or we’ll have “restorative healing circles,” or we’ll sit the robber and his victim at a table and let the two will resolve their differences. The assumption underlying such proposals is that the people who commit crimes are all ENFPs (I hate Myers-Briggs, but you get the point) in need of only a hug and a good cry.

    This, of course, is nonsense, and it amounts to a denial of the human capacity for violence. This denial has real costs, as we’ve seen. Violent crime is almost entirely a problem of disordered masculinity. But the solution to disordered masculinity is not femininity. The solution is well-ordered masculinity.

    • #32
  3. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Kephalithos (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment): Crime.

    When it comes to crime, common sense is, I believe, an adult male thing.

    When adult males become scarce, in spirit if not demographically, common sense goes out the window.

    If you take a look at the policy proposals offered by the activist types, you’ll see that all can be reduced to a single idea: group therapy. In lieu of police, we’ll send in hordes of social workers and licensed therapists, or we’ll have “restorative healing circles,” or we’ll sit the robber and his victim at a table and let the two will resolve their differences. The assumption underlying such proposals is that the people who commit crimes are all ENFPs (I hate Myers-Briggs, but you get the point) in need of only a hug and a good cry.

    This, of course, is nonsense, and it amounts to a denial of the human capacity for violence. This denial has real costs, as we’ve seen. Violent crime is almost entirely a problem of disordered masculinity. But the solution to disordered masculinity is not femininity. The solution is well-ordered masculinity.

    Well-ordered masculinity is also required to keep some women in line.

     

    • #33
  4. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    This is why their sister site Not The Bee is a thing.

    • #34
  5. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Henry Racette (View Comment):

    Crime.

    When it comes to crime, common sense is, I believe, an adult male thing.

    When adult males become scarce, in spirit if not demographically, common sense goes out the window.

    This is where Franco talks about elephants. 

    • #35
  6. Randy Weivoda Moderator
    Randy Weivoda
    @RandyWeivoda

    Dr. Bastiat: There are two police unions in St. Louis – one for black officers, and one for white officers.

    I have long been aware that Saint Louis is not a racially harmonious city, but I find that fact astonishing.  When so much of the country has become more integrated than in generations past, what is it that keeps Saint Louis so divided?

    • #36
  7. Gazpacho Grande' Coolidge
    Gazpacho Grande'
    @ChrisCampion

    Dr. Bastiat (View Comment):

    Hoyacon (View Comment):

    But I’ve never seen that Arch. Oh well.

    You really should. And you should ride up to the top of the arch. It sways back and forth while you’re up there. Very exhilarating.

    Of course, so is running for your life through a convenience store parking lot…

    Do yourself a favor.  Start running serpentine through the parking lots.  Sure, it’s extra effort, but it’ll pay off in the long run.

    • #37
  8. Stad Coolidge
    Stad
    @Stad

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Kephalithos (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment): Crime.

    When it comes to crime, common sense is, I believe, an adult male thing.

    When adult males become scarce, in spirit if not demographically, common sense goes out the window.

    If you take a look at the policy proposals offered by the activist types, you’ll see that all can be reduced to a single idea: group therapy. In lieu of police, we’ll send in hordes of social workers and licensed therapists, or we’ll have “restorative healing circles,” or we’ll sit the robber and his victim at a table and let the two will resolve their differences. The assumption underlying such proposals is that the people who commit crimes are all ENFPs (I hate Myers-Briggs, but you get the point) in need of only a hug and a good cry.

    This, of course, is nonsense, and it amounts to a denial of the human capacity for violence. This denial has real costs, as we’ve seen. Violent crime is almost entirely a problem of disordered masculinity. But the solution to disordered masculinity is not femininity. The solution is well-ordered masculinity.

    Well-ordered masculinity is also required to keep some women in line.

     

    Have you noticed how people these days just stand around filming video without trying to stop whatever bad thing is happening?

    • #38
  9. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    Stad (View Comment):

    kedavis (View Comment):

    Kephalithos (View Comment):

    Henry Racette (View Comment): Crime.

    When it comes to crime, common sense is, I believe, an adult male thing.

    When adult males become scarce, in spirit if not demographically, common sense goes out the window.

    If you take a look at the policy proposals offered by the activist types, you’ll see that all can be reduced to a single idea: group therapy. In lieu of police, we’ll send in hordes of social workers and licensed therapists, or we’ll have “restorative healing circles,” or we’ll sit the robber and his victim at a table and let the two will resolve their differences. The assumption underlying such proposals is that the people who commit crimes are all ENFPs (I hate Myers-Briggs, but you get the point) in need of only a hug and a good cry.

    This, of course, is nonsense, and it amounts to a denial of the human capacity for violence. This denial has real costs, as we’ve seen. Violent crime is almost entirely a problem of disordered masculinity. But the solution to disordered masculinity is not femininity. The solution is well-ordered masculinity.

    Well-ordered masculinity is also required to keep some women in line.

     

    Have you noticed how people these days just stand around filming video without trying to stop whatever bad thing is happening?

    At least they’re collecting evidence, not just running away.  In many cases if they tried to intervene they would be attacked themselves, and they might not have any evidence to prove it.  That’s pretty important these days, especially when dealing with minorities.

    • #39
  10. CACrabtree Coolidge
    CACrabtree
    @CACrabtree

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on).  They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down.  (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    • #40
  11. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots.  So is Justin Trudeau.  And Macron.  At least that would explain a lot.

    • #41
  12. CACrabtree Coolidge
    CACrabtree
    @CACrabtree

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm.  Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot.  And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation.  I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    • #42
  13. kedavis Coolidge
    kedavis
    @kedavis

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm. Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot. And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation. I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    As usual the answer is sex robots.  Give them sex robots so they don’t make more of themselves.

    • #43
  14. Roderic Coolidge
    Roderic
    @rhfabian

    My surgical colleagues have a saying: All bleeding eventually stops.

    • #44
  15. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm. Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot. And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation. I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    You mean they’re not robots?  I suppose not, but the all look and act like Data.

    • #45
  16. Saint Augustine Member
    Saint Augustine
    @SaintAugustine

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm. Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot. And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation. I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    You mean they’re not robots? I suppose not, but the all look and act like Data.

    Hey, man. That’s uncalled for. Show some respect to Data.

    • #46
  17. Flicker Coolidge
    Flicker
    @Flicker

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm. Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot. And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation. I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    You mean they’re not robots? I suppose not, but the all look and act like Data.

    Hey, man. That’s uncalled for. Show some respect to Data.

    He’s so plastic.

    • #47
  18. Henry Castaigne Member
    Henry Castaigne
    @HenryCastaigne

    Flicker (View Comment):

    Saint Augustine (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Flicker (View Comment):

    CACrabtree (View Comment):

    Just thinking about the mayors of St Louis, Baltimore, Atlanta, Chicago (the list goes on). They are completely interchangeable; they sound alike; and they are completely oblivious to the fact that their cities aren’t fit to live in.

    Yet, some factory, somewhere, must churn them out. We need to find this factory and burn it down. (Ah yes; I’m dreaming again.)

    Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg are robots. So is Justin Trudeau. And Macron. At least that would explain a lot.

    Hmmm. Leftist inbreeding would explain a lot. And, inbreeding does bring about genetic mutation. I think we’re getting closer to solving the puzzle…

    You mean they’re not robots? I suppose not, but the all look and act like Data.

    Hey, man. That’s uncalled for. Show some respect to Data.

    He’s so plastic.

     

    • #48
Become a member to join the conversation. Or sign in if you're already a member.