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In 2020, the elites learned to live in complete isolation from the riff-raff, working from home, dining on Cava from Uber Eats, and resupplied with hand disinfectant and toilet paper by Amazon. They may never return to the polluted, unlivable, expensive, crime-ridden, lousy-school, high tax environs they created. And why should they? These whiny Millennials and their shoulder age groups have nothing vested in those downtown, hip condos they bought on Reddit. So they will buy a car on Carvana, place a Bernie sticker on the bumper, rub the sticker to make it look old, and head for greener pastures.
They are choosing to take up new residences and vote for Democrats in places like Georgia, North Carolina, and Texas. They are compelled by justice and Instagram to turn those places into the places they left. We cannot blame them. Our new elites spent their infancy (years 1-22) in paper diapers, so they were taught to poop in their pants/nests and then, leave it for others to clean up. This is why I blame the Greatest Generation for creating the Grating Generation. These bankers, lawyers, web millionaire-wanna-be’s, and malleable executives, represent the elitist of “elite privilege,” and elite privilege is better than white privilege or a bottle of Pétrus with a ‘friend’ who is not my wife at “Daniel” in New York. After all, elite privilege can buy your child acceptance to the best mediocre state college or a prestigious job with a boutique, investment raider. So, 2020 was the year for the elites to abandon city life, and adopt new mantras like, “Goodbye Manhattan, I’m off to the shore by way of Staten”, “It is hasta luego to dull San Diego”, and “So long to ‘ol Boston, I landed in Austin.”
Meanwhile, those who work with their hands or in service got $600 (paid in wine, bread, and gladiator games) in 2020. Praise be to the patricians who rule us! And even better, that pleb political movement led by a barbarian rube named Trump was doused in a national ‘selection’ (not the same as an election) just in the nick of time before the methane in the DC swamp ignited. A barrage of media artillery fire is still putting down the 74 million resistant MAGA’s (Trump losers) who are expected to be de-platformed from life soon, .. and if not soon, then eventually, … though this is not certain. Like roaches and toe fungus, Trump voters keep flaring up. The Trump legions really need to put their differences aside, unite behind our Imperial Liar, and do as they are told. President-Select Biden said so, and if you don’t, I am telling on you.
So let’s give a loud hosannah for the administrative state! The return of the ruling class to town is being greeted with celebrations and salutations in the diverse media ranks (mostly white males) as our saviors ride into the capital bearing that breezy bag-of-wind vane Joe “IQ” Biden on their backs. Those of us who are part of the 74 million deniers have much to be thankful for. We, along with the 83 million people both dead and alive who voted for the President-Select, will all soon feel the nation’s woke centurions spread their warmth and love in 2021, and we will feel it good and hard. Thank you 2020.
2020 was also the year the media confirmed why newsprint is so cheap (and is still the best medium for lining birdcages) by reporting on everything from the hidden facts behind Russian Collusion, the sinister Russian misinformation campaign about Hunter Biden’s internships, and the kindly efforts of Antifa and BLM to bring about peaceful harmony. But the media’s main story, or ‘fable,’ was the “panic-demic”.
Nothing sells GEICO or gas-guzzling pickup trucks like gaming the facts and amping up anxiety amongst what the American media (social and mass) view as the ‘genpop.’ You see, our media see America as one giant penal system and they are here to enforce the rules of Shawshank. Why do they think they can do this? Because unless they make truth their own, our media rulers will not be able to bring about a full takeover of our homes so the Federal Correction System can install those airport TV monitors blaring CNN 24/7 into every bedroom. Then, and only then, will we all be anesthetized with the deep thoughts of Anderson Cooper.
2020’s pandemic reporting was not so much fake news as it was ‘near truth,’ or near enough to the truth to be believable if you repeat it over and over. So in this way, 2020 created a ‘replica truth.’ It looks and feels like the old truth, but only Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg can decide what is the true,… replica truth. Are we blessed or what?
Using replica truth, CNN, AP, WaPo, NYT, NBC, George and Amal Clooney (from their private plane and modest villa on Lago ‘Cuomo’), and The China People’s Daily, remain dedicated to “making the world a better place” or, at least, in their own images which are really quite beautiful. They remain steadfast in refuting the lying eyes of the common man and his primitive value system, replacing it with the Code of the Hamptons, the Vineyard Compact, the French Laundry List, and the Rodeo Drive Tablets. The people must live a modest, green life with crime, bad schools, and thermostats set to 55˚, so our burdened rulers can fly on their private planes to Palm Springs for a round of golf. Thus, the mass media is dedicated to this paramount principle: Tell the people what to think and if they disobey, accuse them in scrolling chyrons of being primal, racist, nativist, gender-phobic, racist, anti-science, violent, sexist, racist, right-wing terrorists, dumb, ugly, without fashion sense, left-handed, racist, poor, stupid, allowing-their-Vogue-subscription-to-run-out, racist, uneducated, and unwilling to bow down to doctorates in education from Delaware Tech and Auto Repair School, …, as well as being racist of course.
In other words, the media in 2020 joined with social media to make bullying the national past-time, and not a moment too soon since we are all housebound and unable to get out to the coliseum to watch the blood sports: parents shouting and fighting in the stands at high school girls field hockey games over transgender persons playing on girls teams, paddle tennis players cursing and throwing their racquets at THE club which is so undignified, struggle sessions over what Lululemon to buy, and simulated polo duckpin bowling on the Peloton you bought for your overweight wife/partner/booty call/friend (after all, it is time to they take a few off or you will replace them with that hot yoga instructor named Hilaria, née Hillary, 😆 😂 ).
And because Christians, Republicans, and laborers won’t give the media enough material (those slovenly cretins), the media (social and mass) love a good takedown of their own as they did to Harvey “Wallbanger” Weinstein, Kevin “I played a President” Spacey, or a dozen or so lefties who need to be colonically purged. Great fun! Even the FBI got in on the act, jailing Felicity Huffman for buying college admission for her daughters. Dear FBI, finally you did something useful. Nice to see you going after criminals and not political enemies. Again, thank you 2020.
2020 took the gloves off and introduced a new verb, “Zucked” as in, “I was Zucked,” or “Who gives a Zuck, Zuck him.” No less than Oprah wing gal Gayle King, TV performer and former intelligence expert John Brennan, and intelligence expert and former TV performer, Justin Bieber, were Zucked in 2020 for ignoring human rights, being insensitive to minorities, and acting unwoke. They are so dead to me, or worse, berated and de-platformed from Facebook and Twitter. And we owe it all to 2020!
But let us not forget, the media collaborated to forget the liar, philanderer, molester of women, cheater, huckster, dullard, mentally impaired, and the joke of the Democratic Party, Joe Biden,… is less appealing than another movie about a ship captain played by Tom Hanks. Be still my fleeting heart, the media dishonesty and the setbacks of 2020 will return riches beyond imagination. ‘Nuff said. Thank you 2020.
We also have 2020 to thank for making us aware of systemic white racism. White racists made George Floyd take lethal doses of fentanyl and meth, and then made him pass bad checks. They allowed the police to be called, and then white racists killed him when the police attempted to restrain Floyd and keep him alive. Elsewhere white racists went overboard in arranging the shooting of Breanna Taylor when her boyfriend opened fire on police who were following up a drug deal where her car was used. That poor boyfriend only grabbed Breanna to use as a human shield and she did her job. It was a hasty police mess and unprofessional. But it served a greater social purpose.
This police incompetence allowed systemic white racists from Bard College to seek penance and join their local BLM social club to burn down much of Minneapolis, Kenosha, or whatever city they chose, displacing minority services, stores, jobs, and lives. The white ranks in the protests were mostly fired up, incendiary if you will. White racists from Wesleyan College and the Upper East Side of New York did manage to get the victims a few hundred pair of sweet Nike’s, cool luxury watches and jewelry, and some very hip fashion branded clothing in return, so there was justice in the destruction.
Fear not, Prince Harry and the Duchess of Suckex arrived in the US just in time to put an end to all the nonsense. Harry inspires with his coloring between the lines and the Duchess is transforming lives with her brand named products and voice-overs in cartoons. They could not continence their child growing up under the oppressive rules of monarchy – so finally, the British monarchy gets why America chose to spin-off in 1776. 2020 – such a blessing.
(This just in, Prince Harry and the Duchess are re-thinking their split from the Game of Thrones. They found out they are less marketable when they are near commoners on the Hollywood Hills, Palm Beach cocktail circuit. And not enough investment banks like JP Morgan are willing to pay the $500,000 they charge to give a speech about self-fulfillment without the indentation from a crown on their brow. More to follow)
Over time, the mostly peaceful protests were repeated across the US. However, 2020 produced new solutions to mayhem. The Mayors of Seattle and Portland fostered a conflict avoidance policy to allow Antifa, the mentally ill (repetitious?), and drug users the opportunity to plant a neighborhood garden, secede from the US, protest, burn, rape and murder. In return for permitting the ‘protesters’ an exemption from the strict pandemic lockdown rules, these concerned citizens helped close small stores and services by first extorting them, and then burning them. In their modest way, the seditionists were enforcing their city’s quarantine and curfew codes. We owe them so much.
These tolerance policies were so successful for white mayors, Mayor DeBlasio adopted similar rules to allow mass, Covid immune, gatherings to burn and loot New York City. More cities soon followed with their own lockdown/urban renewal riots. San Francisco innovated by handing out needles to help solve the homeless, sidewalk trash, and feces problem by making overdoses more readily available. Though this produced a bump in street corpses, that was viewed as only a temporary problem. After all, in San Francisco a dead drug user means a more verdant city (though let us not forget that feces is an organic, natural fertilizer). Ordinary citizens in San Francisco have been forced to eat it for years.
In this small way, 2020 ushered in a time of healing, peace, and freedom! Hopefully, the Biden administration will make Texas, Idaho, and Tennessee pay for the reconstruction of the bombed-out cities whose mayors tolerated destruction by refusing to enforce the law. This will certainly unite us all.
But there are negative consequences to 2020. Scientists have developed the first human mRNA vaccines to fight Covid. If the vaccines are successful, people may stop living in a political and media created dystopia of fear and begin to feel they are able to think for themselves. If that happens, people may realize the isolation, riots, quarantines, failed stay-at-home orders, defunded police, closed schools, business lockdowns, gun restrictions, unproven-mask-wearing, tolerance of violence, lost income, and endless social distancing, all aimed at the law-abiding and the healthy, were —dare we say— unwise and unscientific. The people may realize nothing the politicians, epidemiologists, and media told us stopped the plague. Slowed it a bit, yes. Stopped, no. Which is why the authoritarians, bureaucrats, administrators, big government proponents, Wall Street titans, media kingpins, entertainment courtiers, elites, academics, Karen’s, and celebrity types might soon realize that what they did in 2020 was to make the worst decisions they made since they bailed themselves out with the Reinvestment and Recovery Act in 2009 and followed it up with Obamacare.
And the people? Heads down and keep them down. You are ruled by the best that fame and money can barter (with you being the goods traded). Be comforted. Your rulers are more than obelisk worthy, they are pyramid worthy, pyramids built with your sweat and labor, and upon your backs. A new patrician aristocracy made up of the old aristocracy has returned to save us. Yummy. They did so well before. Thank you 2020! You will make the next few years rewarding in ways we cannot imagine.
2020 was a great year. It completely dropped the veil on elite privilege and systemic elitism.Published in