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Have We Bought into the Victim Mentality?
Most Conservatives I know criticize the victim mentality that has become part of our culture. Generally, we point to the Left as the people who perpetuate this mentality of helplessness and cluelessness. But I’m realizing that they are not unique in their beliefs.
The Right has adopted the victim mentality as well.
The Left points to all the ways that the government and society have failed them: systemic racism, healthcare for all, open borders, welfare for all, and they see the government as a perpetual source of caring for everyone—even those who find their way illegally into our country. But the Left is no longer alone.
The Right expects its victimization to be adopted by its membership as well. We just complain about different things than the Left.
We chastise the partisan press that is prepared to lie, omit information, and ignore anything that would compromise its Leftist partners.
We criticize our government representatives who rejected Trump’s bombast and wouldn’t support his policies because they didn’t like him.
We keep electing people who may come in with good intentions to help this country, but don’t know how to stand up to the pressure of their colleagues to get in line with the Swamp. We tolerate their spending most of their time campaigning for their next election.
We insist on maintaining polite relationships with the other side.
We complain about programs that we end up supporting, for one reason or another, that are contrary to our original Conservative positions, because we can’t figure out how to stop them: growth of the government, expansion of healthcare (while the cost of care keeps going up), neglect of reasonable immigration legislation—the list goes on.
And now we are placing our hopes on the Georgia senatorial races, hoping that if the Republican candidates win, we can stop the barrage of Federal Democrat laws that are sure to be in our future. I don’t know if their election will really make a difference.
If this diatribe doesn’t sound like the voice of a victim, I don’t know what does.
* * * * * *
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being a victim. I’m tired of blaming others for the mess we’ve found ourselves in. I’m looking for out-of-the-box suggestions here. I, for one, am going to write an email or letter to every Senator and Representative from Florida. I am going to send in a message every week. I’m going to treat that task as an obligation, a necessity, for doing my part for this country. It’s not much, but it’s something.
We are a very intelligent and creative group of people. We can do this!
What are your ideas for other steps we can take? Or would you prefer to complain and console each other?
Published in Politics
Incels, men’s rights activism, and anti-media hysteria can all be manifestations of the victim mentality, and they’re generally (if not necessarily accurately) associated with the Right.
Meanwhile, bourgeois feminism is generally associated with the Left, which I tend to think is inaccurate since it shares too many characteristics with other far-right ideologies (i.e. promoting the legal supremacy of one social group over others).
A friend who, 10 years ago, was fired up by the Tea Party spirit, entered politics at the ground level, winning a local election. A family member did the same. This is not something I would advise for most (certainly not for myself), but their experiences are instructive.
The friend has fared poorly, and has told horror stories of venality and grift, betrayal and hucksterism. Put simply, if any politician is playing to your own vanity of victimhood, they’re probably on the take. In this, Susan, you’re dead right in pointing out that way too many on the Right are just as invested in grievance mongering as those on the Left. Too often we’re used, where are fears of “the other guy” are used to extract money and votes and power from us.
The pro-Life argument is one such that is badly abused, and we need to recognize that the corrupt jerks who claim to be representing us are really just using the specter of dead babies as a hostage taker uses his pool of victims. “Side with me, or it’s your fault if this person (or this baby) dies!” I’m not playing that game anymore.
My relative? No less horrified by what he has found (stuff I cannot repeat here, but makes for a good story in private), but I think he’s temperamentally better suited to the work at hand. His advice is this: fight the battles you know you can actually win, which are almost always small and incremental, and do not waste your efforts on big “all for all” types of engagements. He would also advise that the person who is on your side 70% of the time is worth more than the one who always “fights on pure principle” – the latter type is too apt to be against you when you really need the help because nothing is every pure enough to warrant any compromise (or loves to play the spoiler to satisfy his own vanities), but the former at least you can work out a deal with so long as you don’t make things personal.
Complaining about corruption or incompetence is *not* a victim mentality. Demanding special treatment or reparations is a victim mentality. Demanding forgiveness of students loans is a victim mentality.
I do agree that people of the Right need to be more active in the public sphere.
This makes no sense to me at all, Mis.
You define “far right ideologies” as those “promoting the legal supremacy of one social group over others.” What in the world are you talking about?
First of all, I don’t think that the problem is “legal supremacy.” I think that the problem is “legal privilege,” in the sense of advocating for a different set of rules for one group of people. This seems to be a characteristic of all of the Left-leaning identity groups, plus some groups sometimes identified as being on the right (like Nazis).
Second of all, it is sometimes quite sensible to have different rules for different groups. One example is groups based on behavior. It’s OK to have different rules for people who steal. Another example is groups that are actually different in a significant way. Examples are: children vs. adults (this one is generally noncontroversial), or women vs. men (this one is more difficult).
Third of all, it is perfectly appropriate to adopt a “victim mentality” as a response to actual injustice and unfair treatment. You know, like pro-black/pro-female discrimination in education or employment.
We?
This makes perfect sense to me, @skipsul. Working incrementally is great, and building on those successes. And fighting against something on principle will only give you heartburn; this is the time people have to figure out what their highest values are and do their best to honor them and let the rest of them go. That’s just real-world smarts. And picking our allies carefully, so that they are there for us when it counts. Congratulations to your relative: he’s figured out what success in politics means.
Precisely. There are lots of happy warriors. There are vastly more who don’t give a d@%n. There are a football stadium’s worth of folks who write for and read NR, Twitter and the usual suspects. Just because some folks wring their hands in public doesn’t mean the public is wringing its hands.
I disagree. When you take a woe-is-me attitude, and blame everyone else for your situation, that’s a victim mentality. And the Left has the added dimension of expecting special treatment. We don’t ask for special treatment, @dong, because we know that no one will offer to help us. Complaining and essentially not doing anything about it comes from a victim.
So when people here on Ricochet complain “in public,” they’re not really complaining; they’re really happy warriors? Seriously? And are those happy warriors actually getting anything done to make things better? Or do they look for others to make things right? Sorry, @genferei. I don’t buy it.
I complain all the time.
So, it seems like what you are saying is that to complain to have “bought into the victim mentality”.
So, no complaints allowed, or we are buying into being helpless. That is a totally ridiculous standard.
A victim mentality is unable to get out of being a victim. I am not that. I will call out problems when I see them. Mostly though, I am tired of fighting against things I cannot change. That is insanity. I am going to work on things I can.
I am not a victim in my mind. I also reserve the right to complain.
I don’t agree. People can change. It’s really hard; they have to want to be empowered. But you raise an interesting question, Bryan. At one point is a person a victim or just a complainer?
Your logic is broken. I can complain that things are broken and still be a Happy Warrior. What on earth and I fighting against if I don’t get to complain?
Regan got angry.
Pretty timely with Hunter in the news today, but “our side” definitely has a victim mentality when it comes to the media. At times, I get sick of the kvetching; at other times, I think “what can we do but complain.” It really is appalling.
Do you even understand what it really means for someone to have a victim mentality? I do. I work with people with past trauma. I understand both learned helplessness and the effects of being a victim. I wager I understand it better than almost everyone here.
Of course people can change. They do it all the time. It is hard and takes work. What is most characteristic is an external locus of control verse an internal locus of control.
I can assure you my locus of control is internal. Indeed, I have at time, felt I screwed up on things that were not my fault.
So please, Susan, don’t think you can lecture me on what a “victim mentality” means, or who does and does not have it. You don’t know what you are talking about. But, because it is psychology and not engineering, I expect my expertise to be ignored. It usually is.
But Reagan also acted and didn’t just complain. He got some things done, and was fearless, as he was with the Soviet Union.
I was talking to a friend about other venues that are trying to get media traction. I think we just have to keep hoping they get somewhere and support them when we can, @hoyacon.
I want to be sure that people know I have fallen for the victim mentality as well. It’s so easy to do when you have others around doing the same thing.
Talk is cheap. The left has taught us that the real work is in organizing for action. “Conservatives” just open a think tank and talk and complain a lot (see for example ALMOST EVERY EFFING PODCAST ON THIS SITE), but they do nothing for us. But somehow rake in the cash anyway, because complaining is how you raise funds. “Look at what the other side will do if you don’t pitch in with your pledge today!” The left is all about organizing for action. The right is all about the graft.
I’m afraid that it’s going to take someone with very deep pockets and a strong commitment. Conservative online media are a help and certainly better than nothing, but it’s not nearly enough. Assuming that Biden becomes President, I would rather see Trump concentrate his energies on this than on a second term in 2024.
I would prefer that he focus on getting another Republican into office, too. Otherwise, if he gets elected, he’ll spend four more years fighting the Swamp and the Leftist media. To some degree, his losing this time was because of his own behavior. He just pissed off too many people. And he’s not helping himself post-election. Let’s look at a Ted Cruz and a Tom Cotton, and have him encourage them; they are speaking out even louder than in the past.
This is exactly what the left has done for years, providing persistent pressure on multiple public officials.
Because they know about organizing for power. The right does not.
Honestly?
Republicans need to learn how to do proper ethnic outreach.
In Canada, the Conservative party ‘owns’ the Chinese vote. Sikhs and Tamils will vote for you. You just have to make the effort.
You know what they want? They want positions and titles and the US government is nothing but positions and titles. Give them those 3rd undersecretary to the urban league portfolios that dont mean much.
I remember when I first joined Ricochet I posted about this and some member responded, whey would we want ‘those people’ in the party.
If nothing else to win elections? Avik Roy actually supported me at the time highlighting my post in his own. We talked about this a little behind the scenes, but events got away from us.
Donald Trump got 35 percent of the Muslim vote, doubled his support among latinos and blacks. I worry the party will let that slip away.
I’m not saying that wouldn’t help, but it’s neither the whole solution nor something that hasn’t been recognized for quite some time. There is a severe information deficit that will undermine efforts in that regard anyway. It’s easier said than done.
I’m absolutely certain the party will let that slip away.
Because Republicans are more concerned with money than with power. The Democrats understand that power gets you money and that is why they have both.
In the U.S., the Chinese already own the Democrat Party.
Susan,
DonG defines victim mentality as “demanding special treatment or reparations”.
You define it as “taking a woe-is-me attitude and blaming everyone else for you situation.”
In claiming to disagree with him, or believing that you do, you are committing a common error, confusing definitions with facts. No fact is a definition and no definition is a fact.
My theory is that a big reason that we tend to get trapped by this fallacy is that we often state our definitions in the form of factual statements. We forget which we are saying: (a) “by victim mentality, I mean this…” and (b) given what I mean by “victim mentality”, the following fact about victim mentality is true (or false.)
Perhaps President Trump could harness the multitudes who attended his rallies. That is many thousands of people all over the country. The big problem with organizing for action today is the prohibition on large gatherings. The Leftist Health Nazis have made organizing against them nearly impossible.
I think Rush Limbaugh, who has his own multitudes, should invite Larry Arnn and President Trump on his show to discuss a path forward for the multitudes who will be adversely affected by a Biden so-called “administration”.